Author Topic: Does my cousin like me more than a cousin or am i over thinking it?  (Read 34517 times)

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Offline InuGoku

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I have a cousin that i like. She is 19 and i am 23. We hang out quite often and we have a good time together. I really like her but i don't know if she feels the same and i don't want to say anything if she is going to think im weird or is going to tell the family and make me look bad. Here are somethings that make me think she does like me:

1. I saw her talking to another guy one day, then our atmosphere was weird, almost like something came between us and we couldn't really talk. Then a few days later she said " can you believe that people think i actually like that guy" her friend that was there at the time said "Yeah, you were practically holding hands with him" Then all i could hear were mumbles as if she was telling her friend to shut up. Then i changed the subject.
2. We hold eye contact for a long period of time as if we go into our own little world at the time. :hug:
3.Her friend said " I saw you dancing with that guy at the party" and she quickly looks to me to see what kind of reaction i will make. She was trying to hide it but her friend spit it out.
4.At times i catch her looking at me and she turns away quickly.
5.The other day i was purposely ignoring her because i thought things were going bad. Then she just yells out "Hey...., the comment on my myspace is in french" (we had talked about speaking french before) my sister said "what" she said "no im talking to your brother". I see it as she just put that up in french to get my attention because i was ignoring her.
6.We were at the store and we saw some chocolates and she wouldn't choose her chocolate until i chose mine and she got the same kind as me which she didn't even finish and gave the rest to me.
7.The other day we went out with friends and i met a new girl and started to chat with her. As soon as my cousin saw me she came over to me and stood right in front of me literally '1' inch away from me. I was like "WTF!!" because im taking it as she is showing the other girl that im hers or something like that.


Now here are things that make me think that she does NOT like me.

1. WE ARE COUSINS! I don't care about that but what if she does?
2. There are times when i want to talk to her or just be around her and she leaves like she doesn't want to spend time with me at the moment.
3.I won a prize for her at a fair and she asked who it was for, but before i could say it was for her she said "you can give it to your sister" (my sister was there at the time) So did she say she didn't want it because my sister was there? Or does she just not want to lead me on any further?
4. When we take pictures she doesn't want to be next to me. (again my sister was there)
5. I tried to say a comment to take it to the next level. We were out with friends and they all wouldn't fit in the car so I said "you can sit on my lap and i can still drive like that" she quickly lowered her head and just nodded a no. She didn't say anything verbally.
6. She flirts with other guys when im not looking but as soon as i catch her she changes her face and acts like she wasn't doing anything.


These are just a few but they are probably the most important ones. I know some of these might sound dumb but i want to give people as much information as i can. So what do you guys think? Should i say something? Do all cousins flirt like this with no more intention behind it?

I want to hear different peoples opinions because i know that when you like someone you only see what you want to see. So i would like to hear what people outside this will say based on the information given. I would like for anyone to also ask questions that they feel might be essential to knowing if she likes me or not and i will gladly respond. Thank you for any help in advance.

Good luck to all us CousinCouples :ok:

IsItEvenReal

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I think thattt... she definitely likes you :)

Offline CoolerCool2009

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  I don't think theres enough info to really tell.

I was in the same situation with my cousin. I couldn't tell. She was sooo confusing. I'd think one day without a doubt she must love me, then other days it was almost like she ignored me. It made no sense. I did end up telling her. She doesn't feel the same. So now all I can do is hope she realizes Im whats best for her and sheeeee changes her mind?! Hahaha, I derno. Anyways, I guess you just gotta put it out there, as long as you know that if she doesn't feel the same, she won't freak and run. Fortunately I was lucky with my cousin, shes just great like that..

Good luck and keep us informed, if you have any other info or tidbits, put it out there.
“Falling in love with someone isn't always going to be easy... Anger... tears... laughter.. It's when you want to be together despite it all. That's when you truly love another. I'm sure of it.”

Offline KC

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There isn't nearly enough information there. The real question is, "should I bite the bullet and ask her?"

And my answer ... go for it. How about "If you were not my cousin ..."

Fill in the blank and good luck.  :biggrin:

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Samuel Dyer

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I was in the same problem when I was younger, but then I made a move and we became a proper couple. Then our family didn't like it so we ran away (this is when we were 16) and now we're 27 leading good lives. Go for it and if she says no just say it was a dare. :)

Offline scrubanizer

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Given your info.... Who knows? She is not showing any sure signs that she is into you, if you ask me. But that doesnt mean anything.

If im you I give things a little more time to develop. If in a few weeks or months time you still arent sure, just go for it and ask her.

gemster1985

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I once had a thing with my cousin,does he still like me?
« Reply #6 on: Dec 20, 2011, 05:20 AM »
I once had a thing with my cousin when we were kids and 15 years later i always feel awkward around him and i think he feels the same, i Dont see him very often but when i do i feel like he Carnt look me in the face or talk to me sometimes does he hate me for ending it back then, does he feel ashamed of it all or does he still like me?   here are afew things he does around me:

1. Carnt look me in the face at times
2.watches me when i laugh about something funny
3. walks out of a room if we there alone
4 he has a girlfriend and one time i was walking towards him and he grabbed her to kiss her straight away infront of me
5. i feel the tension between us
6. he once looked me in the eyes for quite awhile longer than usual
7.he once told me with a past boyfriend i could do better than him.      please help as im confused x

Offline Hawk

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gem,
 I once "had a thing" with my cousin too. It was similarly awkward for many years as well. The difference in your case is, he sounds like he's just being an ass hat about the whole thing. Since he has a GF, it is time to say c'est la vie. Maybe you could have done better than this past BF, but if he was being such an ass about it, it doesn't sound like it would have been him....
 I am curious as to why you ended it though. Was his behavior this boorish back then as well or what?

Offline Arainion

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I like Samuel's suggestion about the dare excuse.

It's great, except that it may backfire in the event she does end up having feelings for you in the future.

Offline gemster1985

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I had ended things with my cousin as i was young and very confused about the feelings i had towards him as thinking he's my cousin and it would be wrong and i was scared of what the family would think

Offline gemster1985

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what i Dont understand is why is he still making me feel uncomfortable around him after all this time?

Offline Hawk

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gem,
 I found out that was the issue with my Cuz as well. We had a lot of other things going on at the time, and I always assumed those were the issues. The fact that we are family was a major factor for her, but I never knew it. The difference was that I was disappointed, and we tip toed around it, and it was awkward for many years, but I was NEVER mean to her, nor did I rub it in her face with a GF or wife. We always look each other in the eyes, and I would never walk out of a room and leave her alone. She has a BF that EVERYBODY EXCEPT ME has told her she can do better. They have been together for a LONG time, that is HER decision to figure out if she can do better. The guy does have a tendency to rub people the wrong way, but he has never been that way to me, and even if he did, it is still her life and her choice.
 With just the information you have given here, I'm going to call "sour grapes" on his part. This, to me, indicates that GF or not, he is not mature enough for you to consider picking up where you left off yet. Should he not be in a relationship at some point, you would want to take this into consideration before you get any more emotional investment in this situation.

Offline gemster1985

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ok i will take Ur advice in to consideration thank you just wish i could relax abit more round him coz he makes me feel so uncomfortable,wouldn't mind but he was the first to show interest in me and made the first move back then now he makes me feel like he hates me

Offline Hawk

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gem,
 I think what probably happened was he pursued you, you sort of agreed, but then got scared. He is being a turd with this behavior. Him got him widdle feewings hurt, and won't GTF over it. He can't deal with the fact that you got scared and backed away. It doesn't matter that your fears about being family and such were not based in fact, they were real concerns for you at the time. He is being immature about the whole thing. It doesn't matter that your confusion and thoughts about it being wrong were not founded in facts. They were real to you. If he can't understand that, then he is going to have a hard time understanding the intricacies of a real full blown relationship with you, and possible drama with family that you very well MAY have been correct about. You are older and wiser now, but it seems as if he may not have kept up with you in that regard M'Dear.... 

Offline gemster1985

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hawk,

I did actually like him in that way though but never thought for 1 min anything would come of it coz i just thought at the time it was wrong for cousins to like each other but then he came to me and told me he wanted to be with me for a while we were sneaking around alot and it just felt that if the family knew they wouldnt want to know us so i called everything off even though my feelings were growing strong for him then i didn't see him for ages and then i met someone at comp school and started off as friends and then we grew close but the next time i did see my cousin he said " you deserve better than him" and i said who like you? and i never waited for a reply i walked away from him, i think i hurt him back then but did he not question what would of happened if the family would of known. .... but to be funny with me after all this time isbt fare i do still like him yes and if we wernt related who knows but im just trying to save on anyone getting hurt or upset but he clearly wants me to feel bad for being the sensible 1