Author Topic: I'm pregnant with my cousins baby what should i do?  (Read 3589 times)

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natzspatz

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I'm 23 and my cousin is 33, he is my first cousin. We fell in love a year ago but we are not together, i love him and he loves me but he cant get over the fact that we are cousins. He's says the feelings he has towards me are wrong if we wasn't cousins we would be together. He tries to not be alone with me cos he dont trust the situation but dispite this we have had sex a few times, i agree that every time we make love its harder cos we just want eachother more. 6 months ago he started a relationship  with another girl, this totally destroyed me cos i really do love him but i understand how he feels. A month ago we was out down our local pub and he walked me home we kissed and ended up having sex and now i'm pregnant. Our families dont know that we have had any kind of relationship. I met him a few years ago for the first time when he moved in with my dad after he seperated with his long term girlfriend, he still lives with my dad and i'm scared how my dad will react because of this. I dont know if i should tell him i'm pregnant or tell my family who the dad is, i'm so confused. Please any advice would be very much appreciated. Thanks

Offline LadyC

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Re: I'm pregnant with my cousins baby what should i do?
« Reply #1 on: Mar 21, 2011, 01:36 PM »
well, for starters, you need to tell your cousin he is going to be a father and that he needs to step up to the plate and BE a father. then you need to get yourself under a doctor's care like you would with any other pregnancy. whatever you do, don't let your cousin shame or guilt you into killing your child. if he doesn't want to be a father, then tell him after the baby is born you will have an attorney draw up paperwork for him to sign that will revoke his parental responsibilities (and his parental rights) permanently, and that you want nothing more to do with him.

personally i just don't understand why girls keep letting themselves be used by guys that have made it clear that they aren't interested in staying with them. there's no reason for you to think this guy would be a good catch anyway... he's got a girlfriend and won't stay faithful to her, he's got you on the side and won't commit to you, he's a grown man and uses the excuse that he can't BE with you because he's your cousin, yet that doesn't stop him from screwing you anytime he feels like it.

as for your family, i know it would be hard to tell them you're pregnant. but you need to. keeping the paternity a secret would be very difficult, but i imagine it's possible. still though, you shouldn't keep it secret. your family is going to love you and this baby. they're going to be supportive of you. and they're going to back you up should you decide to sue him for child support or if you decide to have his parental rights terminated. family pressure can be a very good thing in this situation, and i think you should use it to your advantage.

but don't let yourself be alone with him again. he's not worthy of you. he doesn't deserve to have you as his play toy. just don't let it happen. be strong, i know you can be.
If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans! ~~ Van Zandt

Offline Natzspatz

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Re: I'm pregnant with my cousins baby what should i do?
« Reply #2 on: Mar 22, 2011, 05:08 AM »
Thanks for your advice i am definately going to tell him he's the father and its his choice what he decides to do but i am not going to terminate my pregnancy even if he asks me too. If he decides he wants no part in my baby's life i have decided i will not tell my family he is the dad because i dont want to hurt him and cause him aggro because of this. I know if he chooses he cant be in my baby's life everytime my dad talks about out baby or everytime he see's me with our baby it will hurt him enough. This situation is hurting him more then me cos he battling 2 things in his mind, love and what he believes is right and wrong.

He doesn't get to have sex with me as and when he wants its only happened 3 times in the past 12-18 months. When he wanted me and told me he loved me i was with some1 else, he met his current girlfriend while i was with my ex and now he has had time to think about our situation he thinks our family will not accept it, especially my dad. He has more to lose because of this then what i do. He is close with my dad he lives with my dad. My dad will blame him, not me.

I know how much he loves me and how much this situation has hurt him. I know he could have a  good life with his girlfriend but i know i'll make him happier. I know he wants me more but he's so scared because of everything and its wrong to him even though its not. This love we have is like no other we've felt before. I'm scared too but i dont want to settle for some1 else and spend my life without him.


Offline yen

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Re: I'm pregnant with my cousins baby what should i do?
« Reply #3 on: Mar 22, 2011, 05:46 AM »
everything has a purpose and everything happens for a reason...

you have to tell youre cousin about it.. maybe the confusion would lessen if you share it to him..

pray.. prayer would help a lot..

lets face the possibilities that youre dad might discover it so prepare youre self for anything..

always remember that the life on youre tummy now is blessing..

goodluck...
I finally understood what true love meant...love meant that you care for another person's happiness more than your own, no matter how painful the choices you face might be."

Offline Natzspatz

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Re: I'm pregnant with my cousins baby what should i do?
« Reply #4 on: Mar 22, 2011, 02:27 PM »
Thank you Yen this is good advice and your completely right this life inside me is a blessing and even if i have to bring this child into the world on my own i will and it will enough love from me and my family.

Offline yen

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Re: I'm pregnant with my cousins baby what should i do?
« Reply #5 on: Mar 23, 2011, 01:09 AM »
thats the spirit!...

question: how months is youre baby?..

they may sad or angry at you at first ( i mean youre family) but in time they would slowly understand you and loved the child...

it may not be now but in time everything would be happy!...

goodluck and congrats!!! :hug:
I finally understood what true love meant...love meant that you care for another person's happiness more than your own, no matter how painful the choices you face might be."

Offline crazygirl21

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Re: I'm pregnant with my cousins baby what should i do?
« Reply #6 on: Mar 24, 2011, 12:34 AM »
How did you find out you're preg? Did you take a test?
"The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that's what you've given me. That's what I hope to give to you forever."

Offline Natzspatz

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Re: I'm pregnant with my cousins baby what should i do?
« Reply #7 on: Mar 25, 2011, 09:18 AM »
Thanks Yen. He is cominh round tonight to talk properly. I'm still in the early stages of pregnancy.

Offline Natzspatz

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Re: I'm pregnant with my cousins baby what should i do?
« Reply #8 on: Mar 25, 2011, 09:20 AM »
Yes i did 3 different test's over 2 days and they all said positive.

Offline yen

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Re: I'm pregnant with my cousins baby what should i do?
« Reply #9 on: Mar 25, 2011, 08:08 PM »
well goodluck!..


hope things would turn out very well...

talk to him and be calm..  :ok:
I finally understood what true love meant...love meant that you care for another person's happiness more than your own, no matter how painful the choices you face might be."

Offline crazygirl21

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Re: I'm pregnant with my cousins baby what should i do?
« Reply #10 on: Mar 25, 2011, 08:34 PM »
Well first congratulations on your new baby!! A new life is NEVER something to regret or be ashamed of, or throw away. Take care of this precious little one. Even if he wants nothing to do with either of you, this is your baby. :) It's scary though...I really hope that your family is there for you to help you through this and enjoy your pregnancy.  :hug:
"The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that's what you've given me. That's what I hope to give to you forever."

Offline cloud

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Re: I'm pregnant with my cousins baby what should i do?
« Reply #11 on: Mar 25, 2011, 11:48 PM »
the father needs to educate himself thoroughly and be a part of his baby's life

I'm super glad I did my research when I felt feelings grow 4 my my cousin love, I didn't want to kiss/have sex and regret it later on thinking it's wrong, everything we do in life, we need to KNOW what we are doing, if it's RIGHT, your cousin didn't do that, he just acted on his hormones, and didn't think of the "after"

were the words "your getting it on with your cousin without a condom, what will you do if she gets pregnant, just forget about her?" not reverberating in his head...I guess not

was he thinking "I'm getting intimately involved with my cousin, will I do this again, what is the driving mentality that is making me do this in the first place? it just lust? am I just looking at this as a temporary thing, am I only experimenting?

the problem is refusing to think ahead, the consequences, the after effects, the change, the family drama, some people just think of that and say o to hell with it

Offline Romalee

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Re: I'm pregnant with my cousins baby what should i do?
« Reply #12 on: Mar 26, 2011, 09:29 AM »
" If he decides he wants no part in my baby's life i have decided i will not tell my family he is the dad because i dont want to hurt him and cause him aggro because of this."
 
You don't want to cause HIM hurt and aggravation??? What about you??
 
Why would you let him off so free?? He helped to create this life, he needs to grow up and accept the responsibilitly that
is before him. It is unfair to both you and your baby that he be let off the hook.
 
If he would be so afraid of what the family would do or say then he should have kept his pants on or been
grown up enough to use proper protection.
 
I do feel for you in this situation. My thoughts and feelings are that you shouldn't have to bear all this on your own.
Please rethink your stance on telling of the true paternity, your baby shouldn't have to wonder who his/her father really is.
The truth can't be hidden forever.
 
Best wishes.

Offline Cbear

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Re: I'm pregnant with my cousins baby what should i do?
« Reply #13 on: Mar 26, 2011, 09:11 PM »
For crying out loud!!!!! He is 33!!??  He needs to "MAN UP"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Offline cloud

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Re: I'm pregnant with my cousins baby what should i do?
« Reply #14 on: Mar 27, 2011, 01:52 AM »
big time, he needs to take time and think to himself..."is it really wrong, why is it wrong, is there any way to justify what I did"

 
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