Author Topic: I think I love my cousin. Help.  (Read 361 times)

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Offline ashley.marie

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I think I love my cousin. Help.
« on: May 25, 2013, 05:21 AM »
So, I'm twenty years old. My mother has an older brother that left home when she was young and wanted nothing to do with the family, so I never met him. I coincidentally found my cousin online. He had commented on a video about our grandfather and I almost knew immediately that he was one of my long lost cousins. He knew who I was before I even had to say it and knew who my mother was and everything. We exchanged numbers, my mother got in touch with his mother and they caught up on the missing 20+ years that they lost touch. My cousin who is 27 and I immediately hit it off. It was like we were old friends just catching up. We have a lot in common and get along great. We were just exchanging family photos through text messages and I felt like a creep for being attracted to him. I have a thing for guys covered in tattoos who have blue eyes. Of course he fits the description of both of my ex boyfriends. At first I wasn't phased by it until he started telling me that I was really attractive as well. I laughed it off and thought nothing of it. My mom was making plans to fly out to visit them in California.
It has only been five days since we even knew each other existed and our relationship has quickly escalated. I tried as hard as I could to ignore his flirting but we are so attracted to each other it's hard to ignore. I'm not the romantic type and wooing me is nearly impossible but he does it effortlessly. I've only dated two people and giving into them took months. I was out at a party last night and my cousin was so worried about me sneaking off with someone other than him. I don't have much experience with men but I know that when they start worrying about what you're doing when they aren't around, there are romantic feelings invested.
I feel like I'm doing something wrong by feeling attracted to my cousin and I have no idea how to handle this situation. My mother would absolutely flip her biscuits. I'm afraid to tell anyone about this except for my amazing best friend of 17 years who doesn't think it's a good idea but that she'd always be there to support my choices. This issue has been weighing heavily on my mind and it's hard to escape these thoughts. We're planning on meeting together in the next month and the though of meeting him makes me so nervous. We seem so perfect for each other but it seems so taboo.
Advice would be awesome. :/

Offline Hawk

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Re: I think I love my cousin. Help.
« Reply #1 on: May 25, 2013, 03:07 PM »
 It's only taboo because of misguided notions from the century before last. Before that, it was generally accepted, if not somewhat encouraged in many instances. In some cultures today, it still is.

 With all of this being brand new to you, (and HIM too, I bet) take this like you would any other relationship in which you would find yourself unusually falling fast. Slow it down a little, and take a deep breath, BOTH of you. You will find many stories here of how these relationships are want to get very intense, very quickly. You will find many of those, where that fact alone is as big or bigger issue than any potential "flipping of the biscuits" by family. As this part of the family has been estranged for many years, initially, it could be quite the scandal. However, if you two slow things down, keep it on the "down low," as we say, for a while, get here and get the facts, play your cards right, it COULD bring the family closer. It will not be easy, and it will take a LOT of patience and work to get there. That's a little ahead of where you are right now, but methinks you're headed that direction, or you wouldn't have found your way here.  :grin:

 Like I said, take a deep breath, calm down, look around, make yourself at home, and get familiar with the facts. Chat him up, tell him what's going on on your end, and see if he isn't at the same place. If he is, send him a link to this site, and this thread, and get him on the same page as well. It certainly sounds like you two have some potential, if you play this out correctly.