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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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  1. Last week
  2. Depressed

    Friends..My name is Chetan . I am 28 year old and my secound cousin once reomoved is 16 year old. We love each other a lot. on last may 19 i tied mangalsutra to her as per hindu rituals in temple but we kept it secret as she is not 18yrs old. but somehow her family membres foud her mob which was given by me. and everyone knows everything even tho we continued . we face loads of trouble cause of too much pressure by community and also by family membres. on monday she told me her dad fixed her marriage with her mothers brother. so i took her with me in my home. and whole community and family membres beaten us. evern her clothes were tored by goons .. i was also beaten a lot . i tried to contact love commondos but they refused to help as she isnt 18 yet.. SHe is daugher of my second cousin brother from my fathers side. I have no idea its legal or not or whatever it is . I Love Her A LOt And she too loves me a lot .. even after so many peoples beating us she never left me alone in them then her mothers brother came and he took her with him to his village ghosarwad which is near Ichalkaranji and nearly60km from my home. I have no permission to go outside of home. I Love her a lot i am ready to die I tried a lot but i am not superman . pls help me.. I have no idea hows her , whats going on with her. its not good in our community so no one is helping me..not even no one talking with me...i am totally depressed pls find a way I LOve Poonam very very very mmmmmmmuuuuuuucccccccchhhhhhhhhh..... evryone is threatning me for police case so pls help me
  3. How to get past the scared state

    No new news Santoro, I do not see anything in the future. Sad to say, Thanks for asking.
  4. Needs advice

    i can't answer those questions, luna. i'm only taking shots in the dark based on what little information i have... he may have missed you, and maybe he does love you. but it doesn't sound as though the two of you have the same concept of love if he's already trying to brace you for the inevitable end. i could be wrong, though. and the only way for you to find out is to ask him point blank if he WANTS a future with you. maybe he just thinks it will end because he is scared. if that's the case, then maybe coming here would ease his concerns and pave the way for you two. but if it's set in stone in his mind that the two of you will come to an end, then he's not committed and probably won't become that way. sit him down. ask him to define his love for you. does he "love" you? or is he IN love with you and want to grow old with you? "love" to a man can mean many different things. i would definitely recommend you continue keeping sex out of the picture, but seriously.... sexting is just as much of an emotional minefield for a woman as 'coitus'.
  5. Needs advice

    I get so confused because he was the one that said he missed me first, he also said he loved me, is it all just a fantasy? We hadn't had any coitus since 2013. I feel so lost because I would of never have told him my real feelings if he didn't say he loved me first.
  6. Needs advice

    you're not stupid for falling for him, but chances are he's being honest about his feelings when he says it will eventually end. it's natural for a woman to fall in love with someone she's intimate with. (and it's normal... not necessarily natural but definitely normal) for a woman to agree in the beginning that the relationship will just be casual sex. the problem is, a woman can't keep that part of her life separate from her emotional part the way a man can. so yes, your feelings have changed. you have become attached. it doesn't sound as though he has become attached to you, tho. to him, the forbidden fruit syndrome is probably keeping the sex exciting, but it sounds as though he recognizes that it's purely physiological from his point of view. and when things end, it's very likely that you are going to feel used... and he will feel like you tried to trap him. of course, neither of those two things will be true. you didn't set out to snare him anymore than he intended to use you. it's just that he took you at your word (that you wanted a casual relationship.
  7. Can you develop feelings if....

    of course you can. especially us women, because our brains are wired to associate intimacy with love, romance, and security. like it or not though, men are not wired the same. men can fall in love with someone they've been intimate with, but it is far more common for women to read things into their intimate relationships than the men have in mind. no, this isn't me just being cynical, either. you can call it biology or you can call it divine design, but men are hardwired to propogate the species, and therefore they can (and by nature, DO,) compartmentalize and keep sex and love totally separate. women, on the other hand, are hardwired to be nurturers, and in most cases have extreme difficulty compartmentalizing like that. sex is an expression of love, and love is fulfilled through sex.
  8. If you and your cousin start having a sexual relationship, but say no strings attached. Can you develop feelings just by being intimate.
  9. Needs advice

    Not married anymore, my cousin feels like what we are doing is taboo and forbidden. He also says this will eventually end. Am I stupid for falling for him. Should I just be the stronger the person to walk away. I'm so confused because I recently told him I felt even tho I knew he didn't feel the same way. He says he cares for me but not in a romantic way, is it just lust?
  10. Needs advice

    Hello my name is Luna, I'm 30 and my second cousin has always been my first love. Growing up we where both close and we always understood each other. I was the black sheep in my family and was always bullied. Even at a young age I understood what I felt for him wasn't appropriate for family and it was taboo. We can talk about anything and every as kids. When I was in the 6th grade I moved away from the islands and came to the states. I lost all forums of contacts with him. I thought it was safe not to send letters or draw attention that we where writing to each other. My family hated that I had other members on my side. We didn't see each other again till I was 15and he was 17. His brother was graduating high school so his family few in from Guam.All I can say was the chemistry was still there with added teenage hormones. We picked up like old times and the years apart didn't change anything. Nothing major happened, sitting next to him, or our hands touching sent me chilis and I can tell by the look in his eyes he had it to. We where both too afraid to do anything that summer and he left to go back home. 2 years later his family moved state side and a few blocks away from were I lived. We acted normal around family and didn't try to act like we were close, but when we had the chance we found ourselves alone, we would talk, kiss, touch each other. When I turned 18 I found a job and was in my last year in high school, I found a boyfriend to try and distance myself from him, we both did anyways. We still saw each other at family functions and no matter how hard we try to stay away from each other we always end up next to each other. So we didn't fight it. I got married and have 2 kids (not his) and we secretly have sex we with each other till years ago when I moved to a different state. We still keep in contact and send naughty text to each other. Is it normally that I want a life with him? I haven't told him how I truly feel because I'm afraid that it's something he won't want. We both agreed it just sex but what person doesn't get attached to another person having sex with someone. Needs advice This post is from July fyi: I'm not married. I told my cousin how I felt about him. 11/04/17
  11. Confused soul

    Not married anymore, my cousin feels like what we are doing is taboo and forbidden. He also says this will eventually end. Am I stupid for falling for him. Should I just be the stronger the person to walk away. I'm so confused because I recently told him I felt even tho I knew he didn't feel the same way. He says he cares for me but not in a romantic way, is it just lust?
  12. Cousin Couples from the Philippines let's unite here

    hindi ako mag cocomment at sariwa pa kasi ung hiwa ko sa puso ko, pero...si pooch na muna bahala sayo lextin...sakin nga first cous, so you’re both ok...happy sa inyo 9/9/2004
  13. Hi Lextin, Welcome dito sa CC forum. Buti natagpuan mo itong site. hehe. Pano ka napadpad dito if you don't mind me asking? hehe. Anyways, matagal na akong member dito sa forum -- since nung college days ko pa lang eh matagal na akong sumusubaybay dito. Nung una, hindi pa ako nagpopost. Pero eventually, nagpost na rin. Pero matagal na ako dito sa site na ito.. siguro around 13 years ago pa... elementary ka pa lang. lol Anyhow, ito yung mga posts na gusto ko. hehe. Allow me to respond. Una sa lahat, congrats sa 4 months ninyong dalawa. I really do mean that. Can I call your cous-bf, Mr. L? Una ko muna tanong, bakit kayo nagbreak nung ex mo? Nagcheat ba siya? May third party? Hindi ka pinapansin? Bakit? Sabi mo kasi, nahuli mo siyang parang may ginagawang milagro eh. Dec. 2016 kayo nagbreak. Then ayon sa very reliable standard na alam natin lahat na "John-Lloyd rule of moving on" (JLROMO) sa box office hit na "One more chance", 3 months daw ang MINIMUM (take note minimum) before ka makipagdate muli sa iba. lol So ipagpalagay nating July mo sinagot si BF mo kasi 4 months na kayo eh. Ibig sabihin eh 3 months ka niligawan ni Mr. L mula sa JLROMO.. Tama? 12 weeks... Labindalawang linggo... Can you follow? I will respond sa iba later on. okie? Pooch
  14. Cousin Couples from the Philippines let's unite here

    Hi! I am now in a 4 months relationship with my second cousin. Here’s our story.. He is 22 and I am 23. Actually, matagal na pong may something samin, i forgot na kung ilan taon kami nun pero elementary days pa lang kilala na namin yung isa’t isa so ayun parang mutual feelings na din crush ko siya nun tapos crush niya din ako pero di ko pa alam nun na magpinsan kami since tiga province siya at tiga manila ako, umuuwi lang kami pag bakasyon ganun. Every year kami ako nagbabakasyon edi every year ko din siya nagkikita then na open ko sa mga pinsan ko na close na crush ko siya tapos sabi nga nila kamag anak daw namin sila na second cousin nga daw. Edi ayun medyo gets ko na parang hindi pwede. Pero ewan ko ba... dumating yung time na high school days na at nauso ang phone nagkatext kami tapos ayun inopen niya yung feelings niya pero ako naman di ko sineseryoso kasi alam ko nun bawal.. Kaso talagang ewan ko ba bakit di ko mapigilan haha ang pasaway ko hindi naman naging kami NOON pero parang M.U. Kami sweet kami, nagkikita kami patago kasabwat ng mga pinsan ko kasi alam nila tapos ang bait niya kasi sakin para siyang best friend ko na din na one call a way lang andyan na kaya lalo ako nainlove sa kanya kaso nandun pa din yun takot na hindi kami pwede at baka mapagalitan kami kaya dumating na din yung point na iniwasan ko siya at di ko na tinext. Ang damng beses ko na siyang iniwasan pero nagkaka usap pa din kami. Year 2012 nagka boyfriend na ako.. at siya din nagka gf na din. Pero kahit may bf ako at gf siya may mga times pa din na naguusap kami pero madalang at kamustahan na lang pero minsa di maiwasan ma open nanaman yung tungkol samin. Pero syempre di namin pinilit kasi may mga sarili kaming relasyon. Basta alam ko na nandun pa din siya para sa akin kahit minsan na lang kami mag usap. Pinapayuhan niya ako at pag kailangan ko siya isang tawag lang nandyan agad. Di pa din siya nagbabago, ang lakas ko pa din sa kanya. Parang kahit nag ka bf ako di siya nawala sa puso at isip ko ewan ko kung bakit. Alam ng EX BF ko at nung mga taong malalapit sakin na kung hindi ko SECOND COUSIN yun. Siya ang pipillin at siya talaga gusto ko. Hanggang sa dumating na din yung point na nag break kami ng EX BF last december 2016. Alam na! Haha minahal ko naman yung ex ko na yun at seryoso ako kaso napaka sinungaling niya at katulad ng ibang relasyon nagkasawaan parang nagtatagal na lang kami kasi nanghihinayang kami magbreak at ilan beses ko na din siyang nahuling may something so ayun break na syempre move on na. Then ayun since magkausap kami ni second cousin parang kino comfort niya ako nun pero wala na siyang gf nun matagal na din silang break. Hanggang sa na open again yung feelings niya sabi niya liligawan niya ako at gusto niya maging kami at ipaglaban na daw namin this time yung amin... so parang ako din gusto ko na din kasi gusto ko talaga siya at mahal ko siya matagal na kaya sinagot ko na siya. Masaya ako ngayon masayang masaya pero minsan may doubt din na kung ano pwedeng mangyari sa future. Baka di kami tanggapin or itakwil. Ang hirap kalabanin ng familly. Pero I made a research na okay naman na magpakasal dito at legal naman kaso syempre ang mapanghusgang society pero wala akong pake sa sasabhin ng iba ang iniisip ko yung pamilya ko. Yung masasabi nila. Sana hindi. Lagi ko pinagdadasal na sana matanggap at maintindihan nila kasi mahal ko na talaga to. Meron din bang may ganitong sitwasyon and ano masasabi niyo or payo? Salamat po.
  15. Cousin Couples from the Philippines let's unite here

    welcome lextin, i maybe seperated from my X/cous gf, still here to listen advise and give insights...unless kung papainumin mo aq, mas maganda
  16. Cousin Couples from the Philippines let's unite here

    Hi!!! Finally found this forum! Haayy same here I am in a relationship with my cousin for 4 months now.
  17. Earlier
  18. I think their is no chance to happen like cousin marriage, because Hindus will always follow the traditions they give value for relationship.
  19. Am I fighting a losing battle

    Thanks you guys for the response. This site really helped me realize I'm not the only one who feels this way. There are other cousins who struggle with the same situation I found myself in. As for my cousin I congratulated her on the new relationship and wished her all of the best and that I only wants her to be happy.
  20. Well me and my bf haven't been arrested yet most people just assume we're married since we share the same last name
  21. Am I fighting a losing battle

    Sleeping with someone always makes things so much harder :/ The societal and family backlash is the most common reason a lot of cousin relationships never tend to go anywhere and unfortunately if she can't get passed that then there isn't much you can do. Now I think you should make room for a lot of you time and when you are on your path to healing, which may take time, you can decide how you would like to approach staying in touch with your cousin. I believe she does love you and doesn't want to lose you so I don't think you should completely cut her out of your life but for yourself and her you'll have to make it clear that you can't go back to how things were because of your past with one another. If she does care about you then she should be understanding of your feelings and what you're going through right now. Hoping for the best.
  22. Update

    Thank you! Definitely agree, I don't understand how she can treat her 2yr old niece that way the few family events we've been to I just try to be neutral and keep my daughter away from her so she doesn't pick up on how her "aunt" is treating her it's been about 4 years now so who know if she'll ever come around.
  23. Reposting my story

    Thank you everyone for the well wishes Santoro: We are identical twins, we were close when we were younger and even had our own twin language but as we got older we kinda grew a part. A lot of identical twins try so hard to be their own person it's pretty common to end up not being that close.
  24. I Love My First Cousin

    she is still in year 11? i left college last year. we are great together always having a laugh and what not and we live about 5 mins away from each other
  25. Am I fighting a losing battle

    Daaanngg... First of all dude, I want tonsay I feel yah..and welcome to CC. Secondly, I really have nothing to say substantial at this point but I would pop in here and there as I will follow this thread.. But then regardless, it is really difficult if it is on the matter of the heart, eh? 😟😟 Wishing you the best, Pooch
  26. I Love My First Cousin

    Are you guys both in the same school? How are you guys together? Do you live just closeby? Neighbors? Pooch
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