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  1. Today
  2. It’s me, I changed my username, and am not sure how to edit or add, I no longer see the option. It went great! Her body language was positive, she playfully touched my leg and hand several times throughout the evening. I made her laugh a lot, we even went out for drinks afterwards. But I’m still worried she doesn’t understand exactly how I feel, or maybe she is turning a blind eye to it. When we went for drinks we ran in to some friends of hers, and she introduced me as her cousin, which is accurate but I took as a sign that she doesn’t see me as anything more than that. This did not stop me from pursuing her. The music at the bar was loud, so I was able to get close to her and whisper things in her ear, like jokes and comments, but it was not easy to hold a conversation because of the noise. A few times we joked that we looked like a couple, or at least on a date, but it didn’t have the reaction I hoped for. She moved past the subject after smiling and making a cute comment on the matter. When the night was over, before she went inside, there was no hug or kiss, or anything. This practically hurt a lot and I figured wither one of two things is happening here. Either she knows or suspects how I feel and doesn’t feel the same way, or she is oblivious to it altogether. I intend to keep hanging out with her and hopefully over time win her over. After last night I desire her even more, not just physically, I don’t have a lot of experience in that department, so my interest in her is beyond that. I’m pretty sure I will fall for this amazing woman if we continue to talk and chill. What say you?
  3. nervioso

    Hi to all Filipino

    please comment to all Filipino here, thanks I'm waiting to all pinoy active for this site thanks I'm waiting kabayan...
  4. nervioso

    incest

    salamat Sa pag reply sir ang gusto kulang malaman dito baka mang yari ang isip ko, iwan ko sana hindi nalang kami mag ka dugo para walang problema.
  5. Skyris, Be cordial with the family as you always have, and civil with the ex when you are in her presence. There is no need for the family (the ones who do not know) to ever know, and there is no need for you to communicate with the ex. Go no contact, and only show common courtesy when in her presence. She made that decision for you, knowing you would be devastated, and doing it anyhow. Now, she might like to assuage her guilt by trying to remain friends, not realizing, or not caring, that doing so causes you further pain. Move on, find someone who WILL fight for you, keep the family in your heart, and pray she finds what she wants too. But, if she let one good thing slip away, she'll do it again, or settle for lesser. Just remember though, that is NOT your problem, it's hers. Bed Made Lie.
  6. Hawk

    Scared about telling my cousin I liker her

    ^^^ As usual, the Dude abides, only in this case, you've awakened not just the Dude, but, THE DUDE, as in BOSS.....🤣🤣🤣
  7. Hawk

    Coming out/ complicated relationship

    Bbb_jj, First off, if the family is Catholic, then they are Christian, and, if they TRULY believe the scriptures, there is nothing in there prohibiting it, and many accounts of it, and nearly as many accounts of it actually being commanded by God. If they refuse to believe THOSE scriptures, they are hypocrites, and may as well throw the whole Bible out. THAT SAID, for reasons I don't really have time or inclination to go into here, the Catholic Church HAS taken a dim eye on first cousin marriages since the 12th century or so. BUT, you can request a dispensation from the diocese, and be married in the Church. If you show up with a dispensation from the diocese, what are they going to say? Will they argue with the Bishop? Because that's who they will have to cry to about it. I REALLY doubt they want to argue with the Bishop. ALL OF THAT SAID, this is only if you are where first cousin marriages are legal. I use to be a mod, and as such, had privileges which allowed me to have a little peek at IP numbers and get a general idea where our members and guests were, (unless you were on certain wireless broadbands, or running a proxy, in which case I couldn't be assed to dig deeper) and would counsel further from there. But, I no longer am , and it's just as well. I don't have the time to put in like I use to. At any rate..... PROVIDED IT'S LEGAL IN EITHER YOUR OR HIS PLACE, (Hint Hint at where the two of you want to domicile) you CAN get a dispensation from the diocese, get married by, and in the eyes of, and with the blessing of, the Church, and have a houseful of kids if you so choose. Tell the family you are going to do it right, and they can argue with the diocese, because YOU are NOT going to listen to error on their part....
  8. Yesterday
  9. Bbb_jj

    Coming out/ complicated relationship

    Btw we are 1st cousins
  10. So me and my cousin have been in a relationship for almost a year and our parents all know about this, we’ve planned to have kids but not sure quite yet.. we dont live together atm.. bc he lives a little far. My mom and dad are NOT okay with this my mom is far from okay and my dad well eehh.. hes like whatever, his parents are super supportive but my grandma isnt.. theyre all saying its a sin (we’ Catholic btw) but love is love.. i never chose to fall in love with him i disnt chose for him no to be my cousin.. but now hes worried about what would happen once we move in together.. we are now having problems and we need help and advice from people who went thru something the same
  11. Mimosas’Sunday

    Me and my first cousin

    Please help me I really need feed back I’m so hurt I have a 4 month baby I wanted us to be together but I believe he just afraid of telling the truth to everyone that he has a baby with me but I’m not ashamed of our child or what I did with him because I never knew of him and it happened and I fell in love
  12. Mimosas’Sunday

    Me and my first cousin

    So do not mind the profile pic this is my real life . I’m 23 in love with my first cousin who 27 we have a child together but because he was treating different still inviting his girlfriend over in front of me with his child her hiding it from everyone . So I put him out but I really love him because we didn’t grow up together so I don’t feel like he my cousin I feel like he was my man / baby daddy but the hurt of hiding it and my daughter make me bitter . He stay with his baby mama who got pregnant 3 weeks before and had a little girl . I’m just emotional hurt and wrecked I don’t know what to do with my self because I have his so much of me . I feel played used he doesn’t come see his daughter because his to busy playing family man and hiding out me dark and our child hurts me and makes me bitter heeellp
  13. Last week
  14. lmknjbhvgc

    Unhealthy situation!

    I do not understand his state of mind, one day he decides to gaze into my eyes with excitement and then after some days he showed up with his gf, why? Why is he playing mind games with me? I don't want to say this, but maybe he was just playing games for all these years. I feel so stupid lol. Ever since that incident happened, I have lost confidence in myself, my life is spinning out of control, mixed emotions and I just don't feel like doing anything. I just don't know what to do or how to cope with this situation.
  15. Hi I disabled my messages lol.. I don't know how to fix it.

    1. lmknjbhvgc

      lmknjbhvgc

      Please help! I will greatly appreciate it:)

    2. KC

      KC

      Which message?

  16. lmknjbhvgc

    Love

    So you never met your cousin and you just want to me meet him, I don't see any issue in your case. Your family supports cousin marriage, it's up to you two whether you are willing to change your place of residency for your relationship. I don't know much about your religion and you didn't mention your age, so if you know you are ready to get married then talk to your family and your cousin and marry him. If he is old enough then chances are: if not you then his marriage will be fixed with some other cousin in your family. But, first you have to find out whether you really love him and want to be with him, or you just want to see him.
  17. Sexting is non-committal. She is playing around with you. You made a promise to not hurt her, but she did not make the same promise to you. She is thrilled by the taboo of being cousins and that ignites the sexting, but she has no interest whatsoever in being in a relationship with you. It's time to move on and look elsewhere my friend.
  18. Naima

    Love

    Hi AOA, so I live in US right and I really love my first cousin who lives all the way in Pakistan and he's my mamos son and my mamo passed away so he's in charge of the house the thing is he's like 8 years older than me and I feel like my mom wouldn't be up to me going to leave such a nice place and go marry someone in Pakistan. I really like and so does he like me but I stopped talking to him because I don't want a haram relation with him. My sister throughout of when i was talking she also said i shouldn't and i stopped so i don't anymore now my moms going to pakistan so our another cousin's marriage and i really wanna see him because i never have b4.
  19. My first question before actually giving any answer is how old are you and how old is your cousin?
  20. So my first cousin and I didn't grow up together but over the years we've built a relationship through letters he's in prison right now I've always felt like he started with me but I've never really been sure. He would ask me to send him pictures before he went to prison via cell phone, he was married then so I didn't think much of it I just figured because we hadn't seen each other in a while that he wanted to have a picture of me. I didn't feel the same way at first but I flirted with the idea because of the way that he made me feel I didn't feel like anything was wrong with it I honestly and I'm getting more comfortable with the idea of thinking of him sexually. I know for a fact that our family would not approve but lately he's been writing me letters and he always calls me gorgeous and he always tells me I'm beautiful and he wrote me in my last letter about the way my shirt showed my physique and that it was enticing. I don't want to confuse him being incarcerated with him having feeling because I know sometimes people say anything behind bars especially men who haven't seen women in a while but I can say that I felt him flirting with me before this the feelings have just seem to get deeper since we've been writing each other more. I want to express myself because it's killing me to know that someone that I have these feelings for I might not be able to be with but if I feel like he feels the same I wouldn't have a problem expressing myself I'm just not sure so I'm asking in regards to what I should do on my end with my feelings in the situation. I genuinely love him so even if he was repulsed with the idea I wouldn't just leave his side while he's going through this part of his life I genuinely was helping because I wanted to help a family member and I didn't expect to feel the way that I do. It feels impossible that I'm the only one that has these feelings and it's not perverted. I just understand him and I know he understands me please help me
  21. Hello all, thanks for stopping by. First off, thanks for all the great advice, stories, and posts on here, and special thanks to the creators and admins. This has been bugging me for a while, and I was so glad to discover this place, I really felt welcomed and moved by some of these stories, but most of all, hopeful. I truthfully am a forum noob, and have never really posted anything on a public board before, much less this topic. The reason I started this topic is because most of the threads I came across seemed geared to very young people, and while other posts did offer some insight, I decided to try my luck here, hoping for a more custom tailored response, respectably. Straight to the goods then. I'm 'Andy' and soon to be 35, she's ‘Cindy’, in her 40s, and we are both single and 1st cousins. I have had a crush on her as far back as I can remember, our families were close when we were kids, and often spent weekends together. Because of our age gap at the time, her being a rebel teen who idolized Madonna and me with my Transformers and GI Joes, we were not very close. We hung out like average cousins, nothing special. Over the years she was always close to my thoughts, plus we stayed in touch on social media, but again noting special. Fast forward a little over two decades, during which we would occasionally see each other at large family gatherings, but no major contact beyond that. Next time, it was special, it felt different. Recently, for an outdoor family reunion, it just so happened that we were seated together and we practically spent the whole time chatting exclusively. I really love to make her laugh and I was doing just that, and so was she. Every now and then I'd get from her, what was probably a wholly innocent gesture, an arm touch and smile. I still refuse to read too much into this, this is uncharted waters and I know better than to treat it like the average crush. At one point during the party, a relative approached us and exclaimed to my cousin Cindy, "oh my, I thought this man was your boyfriend!" Our mutual relative was a little surprised when she realized it was me, but did not make a big deal or read too much into it. This made me back off, obviously my body language or a combination of ours both suggested we were a couple to anyone who did not know better. Cindy's reaction was amazing though, smiles and blush galore, she didn't even make an "Eww face" at the remark. Anyway, since then we have been texting occasionally, every other day, very short conversations because I know she is busy and a single mother. I remember one text she wrote, "I miss you." We exchange our problems and offer advice. On more than one occasion she mentioned how she just wants to be with a nice guy who accepts her, and how hard it is for her to find someone, I responded truthfully, that I'm pretty much in the same situation, looking for "Miss Right" and all that. We even spoke on the phone briefly, this is where it escalates a tiny bit. Here is where it gets good, but really scary for me. This Saturday we have a date, for lack of a better word, or more accurately dinner and a movie. Yup, I went for it and she said yes! Holy holy crap! What do I do? I kind of have the evening planned, dinner at a nice restaurant, but I'm hoping to sub the movie with something romantic, like somewhere with a nice view of the city. I really just want to talk with her and spend time alone, and gauge her feelings a bit more. Anyway, I am out of my element here. I'm hoping someone reading this has been in a similar position. I am totally patient and would rather something happen organically on her end, than me trying to force it and be selfish. I would love tips for our date though, I will be myself of course, but I’m wondering if there’s little things I could say or do to hint at my romantic interest in her. I'm kind of nervous and don't want to make a fool of myself. I have strong feelings for Cindy. She's amazing in terms of her fortitude, strength, and outlook on life. She is beautiful inside and out, she makes me laugh, and is always on my mind lately. A part of me believes we don't choose who we fall in love with, and it's not often a girl makes me feel this way. There's definitely some magic there, I just can't tell if its of the romantic kind or not. Any advice from people who have been in similar situations, and my age group would be preferred, but all thoughts are greatly appreciated. Thank you kindly in advance! Andy
  22. ColoradoMarried

    1st cousins

    It’s sad and reminds me of a case in Wisconsin. The state found out that two cousins were involved in a relationship, apparently got the woman to confess (no evidence otherwise) and then arrested and threatened to prosecute her on a felony charge unless she would testify against her cousin on an unrelated charge. Disgusting violation of the 14th Amendment.
  23. KC

    Scared about telling my cousin I liker her

    Hi there! Was your dad a prisoner or a guard? Anyway you asked her to smash. Really? Classy. You know she probably just thinks you are an ass. Maybe I'm just old-fashioned but smashing isn't something you typically ask a cousin. I would like to know her answer! Please tell.
  24. Hey guys, i am scared. There is a stigma against two cousins being together, and I feel like I will get verbally murdered if I tell my cousin I like her. She is just the best girl in the world. Every morning, I wake up and she is standing over me, with breakfast in her hand. I say thank you, then I make her dinner in the evening (we live with our grandma, who cant cook because she fell down). She is so sweet, she flew all the way here to help me with my grandma, so if I ask her to smash I am scared she will leave, and my grandma will suffer. If she says yes, our grandma will hear us because the walls are thin. But she is just so pretty. As for my family, I think they are pretty liberal when it comes to relationships. My dad was in the standford prison expirements (cool right!), and ever since then, he has been cool with whatever makes us happy, no longer the strict man he was. But my mom, my mom is very strict. It is like yin and yang. I heard her growling!!! at my dad when they were having sex or something and she kept saying do you like this big shriveled appendage? Anyways, she is pretty aggressive, I don't want her to beat me up if I marry my cousin. Thanks, please help.
  25. I'm not a native English speaker, so please forgive me for any spelling or grammar mistakes. I was in a secret relationship with my cousin. She's now 19 and I am 21. We live in separate countries, but our families are extremely close, so we see each other (or family relatives) quite often. We were together for a little less than 4 years, but she broke up with me, telling me she didn't have the same feelings she used to and wanting us to remain friends. The news was devastating for me at the time and I was left heartbroken. Though I agreed to stay friends with her at first (i.e I kept in touch, wished her a happy birthday etc.), the pain was too much for me to handle (I would have anxiety attacks or I would throw up when thinking of her). About 2 months after she broke things off, she sent me a casual message ("Hey! What goes up but never goes down?"), but I didn't allow myself to answer, as I deemed her question to be unimportant and I just didn't want to suffer. This led to a period of NC for about a year. I felt guilty for ignoring her, so I apologized for my behavior, explaining to her how difficult this breakup was for me. She said she finally understood why I did that and hoped we could stay friends. I did not want her to expect too much of me though, so I told her that I was there for her if she needed me and that I would be cordial to her if I meet her, but she should not expect me to ask her for some news or to have a random discussion with her on WhatsApp. I also wished her a wonderful life. She didn't reply. My sister and my ex (my cousin) are really close friends (they used to tell each other everything). I think my sis saw how much of a huge toll this breakup was on me. She confessed to me that my ex dated some other guy (another cousin of her) when we were together and that she already thought of leaving me back in 2014 (a year after we got together). I doubt my sis lied to me about it (also because she swore to me all this was true), so I confronted my ex. I sent her a message asking her whether all of this was true. She told me she didn't know what I was told and denied everything. She also said that, though she tried reacting maturely to the situation, no matter what she 'd say from now on, my head would be filled with lies, and that she didn't appreciate having to justify herself for something I was told by others. I said I was sorry for making such assumptions. She didn't reply. After checking in on the guy she supposedly dated (I know... I should have checked earlier), I discovered that he has been married for the last 10 years (and I HIGHLY doubt she would do this with a married guy) . Logical assumption, she lied to my sis, though I wouldn't be able to tell you why (Perhaps to impress her? I'm not sure). Anyway... I have a very good relationship with my ex's family. They often send me messages and we get along extremely well. My ex's mother (my aunt) (which does not know about what happened between us) came to visit us about a month ago, and told me that if I ever needed money (for university or smth else), I could count on her for being there to support me. I mean, this is just an example, but most of them (if not all of them) genuinely care a lot for me (I have closer relationships with her family then she does with mine). I've always had nice relationships with them, even before dating my ex. It does make me feel weird though, as I feel like if they knew what happened they would not treat with the same respect and love. Both my ex and I know that if this story gets out, this is going to damage the relationships of both of our families, and we both agreed to be silent about it. Also, I don't know what to expect when we meet again. I guess both of us will try to avoid each other as much as possible. This is going to seem weird to both of our families, as people know (or rather think) that we are friends and expect us to talk as much as we used to. This is going to put both of us in a bad spot. So, what do you think I should do from now on ? Sometimes I wonder if me taking my distances with her family is not better for her. I am not making things easy on her and I might eventually put her on a bad spot. On the other hand, I've invested a lot of time and energy into building good relationships with my aunt, uncle and my other cousins (her brothers and sisters) and I don't want to throw it all away. I love them (platonically), and I do not want to lose them in my life. So I can either make a selfless decision and I sacrifice my relationship with her family, or I can be selfish and make things harder for her. Honestly, I don't like the outcomes of both these scenarios. What do you think I should do?
  26. Confus

    Need advice..I know yall get this alot.

    Thank you both! And I agree on all levels...and have since ended communication with him. I stated that its obvious we can't just be friends,and even if we tried....this attraction will still be hanging over our heads. So I told him I thought it best to take myself out of the equation, as I didn't not want to be an issue. So I haven't spoke to him in a couple days..and am trying to just leave it be..maybe later we can try to reexamine..but right now..the attraction that can't actually be examined, hangs over our heads causing awkwardness...and tension..and we don't actually communicate like we use to. Its different now. So.. I'm walking away..
  27. Earlier
  28. Yeah, I can understand those confusing feelings. Often cousins have everthing you are looking for in a mate. Although you didn't meet up until your 40's, you two probably share the same values etc. etc. Some think the genetic similarity of cousins is just right to create the kind of chemistry that you describe. As Ambra pointed out, it is difficult for us to give approval when a could-be relationship will hurt other people and families. I would keep my eye on this one. Maybe his marriage will desinigrate, and soon. But don't let it be you that caused the heartache that will ensue.
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