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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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  1. Today
  2. First Cousins Marrying in Catholic Church

    the catholic church requires dispensation for a small monetary fee in order for first cousins to marry in the church, and then ONLY if it is legal in the state you're marrying in. you may be waiting a long, long while sabrina. have you considered marrying in another state?
  3. My cousin and I are first cousins. We just got engaged but in our state (Wi), in order to marry, I have to be 55 or older, or one of us has to be sterile. I am 39 now, so we will be waiting awhile. I emailed a priest in our town to ask if first cousins can marry in the catholic church. I will see what he says. Any of you have information that you would like to share?
  4. Ibotta coupon app

    i'm also an ibotta user. so is romalee! so we should all be on the team together. i also am a huge fan of topcashback... everybody has heard of ebates, but they spend most of their revenue on advertising. topcashback doesn't spend ANYthing on advertising and passes on 100% of their commissions to the members. so as much as i like ibotta, i use it only for in-store purchases. when it comes to amazon or groupon and similar websites, i get a lot more through topcashback then ibotta offers.
  5. Ibotta coupon app

    For those that don't know, Ibotta is a cash back app. It gives you cash back when you shop. It also allows teamwork. If we are all on the same team I bet we could make some money. It's easy you just buy the same stuff you normally buy and you get cash back. Use my link and we will all become team members. You will also get a $10 credit when you use the app. So let's try this. https://ibotta.com/r/rzqueq
  6. Yesterday
  7. 2nd or 3rd cousins?

    i believe that would be double second cousins and if i'm not mistaken, that means that you share 6.125% of your DNA (the same as first cousins once removed share). that's about double the amount of DNA that two totally unrelated people share.
  8. how old are your children? i caution you against waiting until they are older to tell them.... at this point i wouldn't, but if things get serious enough for the two of you to forge a life together, then you should tell them then. the reason is because the younger they are, the less set in stone their prejudices and biases. many adult children of cousin couples have come here before madder than hell because their parents didn't tell them, and their anger compounded their prejudice BECAUSE they inherited the "shame" of their parents... and whether the parents are truly ashamed or not, the grown children perceived it as shame. and while this site doesn't have enough info for scientific data, in the 18 years we've been here, i can say i honestly don't ever remember a single incident where children who grew up with the knowledge of their parents' biological connection have had anything other than a healthy, positive attitude towards cousin marriage... my own children included. they were 11 and 12 when we married, and it was at a time when some neighborhood kids were being ridiculed for their learning disabilities for their parents being cousins (which ironically, the parents were NOT related at all.) kids can be cruel. so when mark and i decided to marry we sat the girls down and answered their questions and gave them the facts. after that they were confident enough that they stood up for those neighbors, and educated other kids in the neighborhood. as a result, they discovered there were a few of their friends whose parents were cousins of some degree!
  9. 2nd or 3rd cousins?

    Hi, I'm a 33 yr old woman and my cousin is 36 yr old man. We have been romantically involved for couple of months now and we are completely in love with one another. This isn't the first time, we have been romantically involved before. When we were teenagers we were almost inseparable. We are very honest with each other about how we feel however our relationship is a secret and our family doesn't know. I'm not sure how we will break it to the family but I think we should wait at least a year or two to make sure this is something we both still want. My confusion is what cousins are we 2nd or 3rd. Here is why I'm confused. My grandmother and his grandmother are sister's and my grandfather and his grandfather are brothers, two brothers married two sisters. I know that my dad and his mom are double first cousins, but what does that makes us? Any help to this confusing matter would be a great help.
  10. I'm so excited any time I connect with new family through Ancestry, that I share it with my friends and family right away. When I first told my mom I was falling for him, all she had to say was, "But isn't this guy related?" I didn't expect that from her, and I never brought it up again. I never let her know I was going up north, let alone that I was going with him. My most trusted friends and two cousins knew he was coming. We met up with one of them while we were at the cabin. I purposely chose that location for two reasons: it is beautuful, peaceful, and secluded, but I also had my cousin a few miles down the road if something happened. They were all happy and excited and shared the same, "Who cares if you're related?" sentiment. DNA wise, we're distant cousins. If we'd met any other way, we would never know. I think it is probably more widely accepted in the UK than here. His sister married a man with the same surname and geographic heritage. If they did dna tests, they're probably cousins in a way too. My dad's parents share a tiny bit of dna (probably six generations back). I won't tell my kids until they're older, and I don’t have to worry about their father. Since my mom has met him, she is even encouraging trying this move-telling me I need to be happy too. There's so much to consider. I wish he could come here until my children are older. We'll see how things work out. I could hate it in England. I think it would be toward the end of next year if I go. My grandmother is not well and is on hospice. I won't leave while I can still be with her. It's just amazing to me.
  11. Last week
  12. hola

    Gotcha. I completely understand what you've posted in Spanish but don't have the language skills to respond with accuracy.
  13. !!!!UPDATE!!

    glad you put an end to the thing with your boyfriend... but as you are still under-age and financially dependent on your family, you really still have no choice but to follow their rules. take things slow! wait til you're finished with high school before getting more involved. you can handle waiting a year, even if you don't think you can. if i recall, you're soon to turn 17. once you're 18 you can move out and make your own rules. as for him, he's 20 already... time for him to learn to support himself... that way when the time comes, if you two are still a thing, he can support you as well.
  14. so you're so distantly removed that there should be no obstacles anywhere, nor any objections from anyone with a lick of sense. anyone who raises a stink about it would probably be using the kinship as some sort of excuse, and would likely use anything they could think of to complain. but leaving your kids and grandmother behind, i can understand how difficult that decision might be!
  15. !!!!UPDATE!!

    Well i'm over with my boyfriend and not my cousin, which i also dont plan to be over with. I you can say am in love with my cousin and so is he.... but stuff at home aren't what i expected.. or well kinda knew everyone saw this coming but well um.. everyone found out about us.. well eveyrone in my household AKA my mom my 4 sisters my 2 brothers... my step dad his brother my mom my dad and my step mom.. oh wait and even his brothers his sisters and his parents.. we didnt get caught here. but we got caught texting ofc, we made up a story saying i was just messing around with him.. bc i was so hurt bc of what happened with my ex. So they believed it but now we have 0 time alone.... and my mom said to me something that just idk.. she said that if i wanted to be with this "nasty sh*t" that to hurry up and marry him and to leave bc she didnt want any of this "nasty sh*t" in her house now i denyed eveyrthing but now shes saying if she finds out we're still something then she'll kick him out and now i honestly dont know how to come out im underage so i really have nothing or maybe i do but i just dont know...
  16. I will be the one moving, if I make that decision. There's a lot to consider (couldn't work in my field without additional schooling, because I am a paralegal and law is very different between here and there, I have pets who need to go with me, and I have children and an elderly grandmother who are my life). I have dual citizenship to Ireland, which means I can freely live there without visas. It would cost thousands for him to try for a visa to come here. Besides, he could never get a job here with as much pay or time off he gets there. It absolutely blew his mind that I only have five days vacation. Then he learned that the US doesn't have any laws about vacation time. Ancestry estimates us as 4th-6th cousins. I suspect it is more like 3rd sometimes removed. On GedMatch, he shows as a closer than ny 3rd cousin twice removed, and she and he are related through the same line. My second-great-grandmother shares his surname and come from the same place. With so many families with the same surname there, it's hard to find the common ancestor.
  17. that's a neat story! now ya just gotta figure out which one of you needs to move to another country so just out of curiousity, how distantly related are you? it sounds like you have the beginning of a beautiful love story happening. don't worry too much about flying, just focus on the destination and being together again. and keep us updated!!
  18. Merry Christmas happy holidays

    Merry Christmas fellow cousin lovers this site has definitely been a blessing for me, thank you!
  19. It's been four months since we met and discovered feelings strong enough to leave me without adequate words to describe them. We met through Ancestry . com as distant dna matches. The connection was immediate and like none either of us have known. Most unfortunately, we are 3,704 miles, five times zones, and an ocean apart. Less than a month of communication led us to his booking a flight from England to Michigan. The wait for his trip was longer than we even knew each other. And it almost didn't happen. He started worrying that if he came here and fell hard, he would get back home and feel incredible heartache. After a few days we decided to throw caution to the wind and find out how we felt about each other in the living world. He arrived on a Tuesday in October, patiently sat through my band rehearsal that I wouldn't miss being a concert week (I play in a concert band, and he couldn't stay an extra day to hear us perform. Dress rehearsal was the next, best thing.), and then endured a nearly three hour, dark drive up north to a cabin in the woods. Not two many people who just flew eight hours and having been awake so many hours would want to go through that. By the time we got to the cabin, it was 12:30 our time. We were surrounded by beautiful trees that upon looking up revealed a circle of thousands of stars. It felt like we were in a movie. We spent five, amazing days getting to know each other, and realizing what we all ready knew before ever being in the same space. Due to unforseen events, he ended up meeting my parents. My mother knew beforehand that we are genetically connected in some way. I wasn't about to let my father know that he, too, is a distant cousin...We are related through my father's maternal line. My father and I have a "strained" relationship to say the very least. We had dinner with my parents after spending time with my grandmother (who we did plan to visit). He and my father talked the whole time. But, I guess, they have things in common, since they both grew up in Northern Ireland. My mother told me later, on the way home, that they both liked him. (She told me later that week that she didn't have a weird feeling about him, unlike everyone else I've ever been with. Unbeknownst to me until that moment.) When it came time for him to leave, I anticipated feeling sad. I couldn't have imagined waking up two mornings in a row crying for missing him. It was all I could do to consider that the days were only counting down until we could see each other again. And that wouldn't be for some months. He has since shared with the bulk of his family about our relationship. His mother, siblings, nieces, nephews, and all things considered, the "weirdest" part of it all is that I'm ten years younger than he is. He says they're all happy for him. Our next meeting will be in his world next month. I'll be flying for the first time in over fifteen years. I've never flown alone before, and the thought of security pat downs freaks me out. This trip is also a small test run to see how I might like living there. He has even arranged for me to sit in with a concert band where he lives. He doesn't want me to give up my music if I decide to start a new life there. Every day, I feel lost for words as to how strongly I feel for him. Neither of us are perfect-far from it. But he feels like the missing piece to my puzzle, and I didn't even one was missing until we met. I haven't had the best history with "men," and he has been the most understanding, caring, and considerate of my worries and apprehensions that have nothing to do with him. He is the first man that makes me feel safe, comfortable, and loved. I could never have thought the person I feel the greatest connection with, and the deepest love for, would be somehow related to me. I maybe dreamed but never believed my great love would be 3,704 miles away in what seems like a cruel act of the universe. And how could we ever think that we would meet on Ancestry . com? Just today we were talking about how neither of us even remembers that we are, somehow, related as cousins, unless we really get to thinking about it. And it is comforting, because we know that we literally have the same piece of dna in us. It's like carrying a small piece of each other at all times. It makes our connection seem that much stronger. And, well, we've joked about how our story should be an Ancestry commercial. Or one of their website videos about users who have discovered something incredible in their research via Ancestry. I fear we would receive a message from Ancestry that we are using the site wrong...
  20. Merry Christmas happy holidays

    Merry Christmas and happy holidays to all of you! This site has been an amazing resource for me and my cousin (husband of seven months now). Thanks so much for building the resources and environment to support couples like us. We really appreciate it!
  21. hola

    She says she has a relationship with her half-uncle and she doesn´t know how to tell their family, which is weird that she posts in spanish in a english forum. I don't understand if that could be her cousin in some degree or if he's her father's half brother. Could be a troll(?) Tienes una relación con tu medio tío? Él es medio hermano de tu papá?
  22. hola

    Mi Espanol es malo. En Ingles por favor.
  23. Merry Christmas happy holidays

    Merry Christmas Boss and Mrs. Boss!! Best wishes for a Very Happy and Prosperous New Year!!
  24. Merry Christmas happy holidays

    i hope you and LC are having a wonderful holiday season! may you have the merriest christmas ever!
  25. This year marks our 19th year online. I appreciate every one of you who makes this site necessary. Cuz and I have been married for 22 years now. It's crazy how time flies. I hope this website has been a blessing to you all and I consider every one of you friends. Although this has always been a free website, it's not like you can't show some love during the holidays. I prefer my love via PayPal or Bitcoins. Admin_kc@protonmail.com (PAYPAL) 1KBYfvLjNoEBYipCoKkj7jxvCgLDGSH3pp (BTC)
  26. I am in love with him and completely lost

    these idiots? listen up buttercup, this site is not about patting people on the back for their own stupidity and selfishness. and cheating on one's spouse is both of those things. romalee is one of our most trusted members here, because she has wisdom in spades. i highly recommend you reconsider how you, a newbie, speaks to those who have been around here for years. and just in case you want to get mouthy with me, let me just say that would be your quickest ticket out of here. she should have thought about that before she married him. but i'm glad in your case you chose to not start out with cheating!
  27. well it would have been easier if you were second cousins. legally, since 2005, first cousins are considered incestuous in the state of texas. however, since you are first HALF cousins, you share the same amount of DNA as first cousins once removed, which are NOT considered incestuous. so even if it ever did come up in court, i think you'd have plenty of grounds to have a case dismissed. that being said, there is no government agency that checks the biological relationship of every parent listed on every birth certificate. and even if they did, since you aren't (at this time) considering marriage, who could prove that the two of you had sex here in texas? you could have conceived while you were in oklahoma... or in any other state or country where your relationship was legal. now you can see a lawyer and get advice that is worth more than my opinions, and if you can, i encourage you to do so. but i think your boyfriend is right. there are bigger fish to fry than to try to convict one or both of you of having illegal sex. and nobody is going to take your baby away for having had sex that can't be proven as illegal (since you could have been elsewhere.) and not so long ago, the sodomy law was repealed in texas (this being before gay marriage became legal) because you can't prove what does or does not happen in the privacy of your bedroom. so unless the two of you have a video floating around somewhere of the two of you engaged in the act, or unless you have some really evil person that is hellbent on revenge over something, i'd go with your boyfriend's gut feelings on this one.
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