The only thing that really matters in a relationship are You and Him. It sounds like you have some support from some family. So it wouldn't be as devistating as it could be. The family members will get over it, they may be shocked at first and maybe feel strange about it for awhile, but the love between cousins is unmatchable. I think you should find a way to tell him. Worse case scenario, he feels a little weird about it, but he will still love you unconditionally. Letting it bottle up inside you is guranteed to have a worse outcome. You will regret it if you don't try.
Of course, best case scenario would be the Utopia of limitless love between you. Start by easing into his mind, get him to open up and get as comfortable as possible with talking about his love life. Maybe bring up how you feel happiest when you visit him. Try to make plans to visit again. These things are definitely better in person to avoid miscommunication and he can feel your sincerity. Plus staring into each other's eyes will establish the soul to soul intamacy.
As far as telling him, I'm in the same situation, so I only have ideas. You can always try the "if only you weren't my cousin" card, but it is likely to be brushed off. If you are genuinely invested in these feelings, I'd recommend something he cant misinterpret. You might have to be straight to the point, or as Serendipity said the light-hearted version for an escape route.
That's just my opinion.
Distant relationships are not easy, especially for new ones. You need to weigh lots of pros and cons to even consider going down that road.
You are never going to know how he feels unless you bring it up. You can do it in a lighthearted manner so that you have an escape route if the conversation goes awry.
You should leave her alone. She has a boyfriend.
There is no way for us to know if you are discerning too much into these little things. If you want to test the waters you could reminiscence about the past and ask her, "Would you ever really date me if we weren't cousins?" and then see where the conversation leads
Hello, first time here and am having quite the difficulty typing this out as it is 4am and everything is on my mind.
Basically, ive always liked my cousin from when we were little. Growing up in a middle eastern family i was taught that it is ok to marry your cousin, etc, and have therfor always sought after it as i know her very well through these years and my feelings have only gotten stronger. idk if she likes me, but, in todays society i dont know if its a good thing to do; wouldnt it have to be kept hidden or something? I am only 18 years of age (male) and i know this is kind of weird but i feel like if we were together wede have to hide it for sure or something as everyone makes all the alabama jokes etc, aswell as having a child im afraid he may face abuse from it aswell if theyre friends found out or something. i have done research on the genetic disorders possible from cousin marriages and think it should be fine, (although my worse fear is having a child with some deformities etc from when i was young). so basically i have no idea what to do, if i should wait untill im older, tell her to see if i should wait for something like that, or just forget about it? im afraid if i do go for someone else i would find out later that she was into me all along; or that if i wait and see what happens that i will find out she never liked me all along and i wasted all that time waiting. any advice will be useful, sorry for weird typing im pretty tired.
Typical Male/female, young childhood and into early teens (friendship with romance)(*yeah we kissed and Stuff) Spent everyday together. Listened to each other, lived, laughed together, think happy children and broody early teens. We have Strict parents who weren’t entirely comfortable with the romance element but were supportive of our friendship(always warned us not to be kissing etc* they didn’t know also). We were best friends. We often just held each other and watched Cartoons. We done some experimenting but I was too weary and alert to our parents and what other people might think for it to have properly lead to sex. We got bullied by nasty kids on our block because we were always together and they made insinuations and it got her down. She said as we finally decided to cool off from one another and go our separate ways because of the social attitude, she said and I know that we were both young maybe 11 or so she said that we’d run away with each other when we’re older. And that was that. We were always happy to see each other but that barrier we erected when we were younger stayed up. It created awkward silences and created an air of frustration which loomed and brought a certain sadness. We grew apart.
Skip on a few years and we’re in our early twenties attending a family event. Her boyfriend is not present. What’s also really important for me to mention is that her boyfriend looks really similar to me. So we’re at a family event without her bf and things just started to happening. We made each other laugh like we used to. She was staring at me ,fidgeting with her hair touching me on my arm making really high pitched sounds when she was with me or whenever I came into the room. But here’s the catch this happens on and off like such hot and cold. She even caressed my younger cousin and looks my way as if to say, yo dude I do this to everyone. Who knows maybe she does? Her boyfriend is quite weary or cold to me and I to him. We show each other respect but I dislike him. She always leaves in a hurry with him if the three of us meet etc.
So what I want to discern is am I looking too much into these little things? Should I ever bring up the past with her. We’re not in contact with each other and definitely live separate lives. When we see each other we’re with other people. But I can’t shake the feelings I have for her. It’s like lightening running through my veins or when the sun emerges from behind a cloud. Nobody makes me laugh like her and she really brings out the best in me. What should I do?