I'm fairly new to this forum. I've needed help trying to seek advice on this because its a bit embarrassing to try and talk to peers.
2015 I was out one night with my sisters and we were sitting talking with a group of guys and I noticed one of their friends. We were exchanging looks so my friend got his number for me. It didn't really go anywhere, but fast forward to 2017 messaged me on Facebook then that's when we began really conversing. He had a legal commitment at the time so we could only see each other on weekends. One weekend during Graduation season for highschool students (We are not in highschool. I had friends Graduating) he came down and we all went out. As we were talking (same group of guys) it came about that I was related to a few, but I had alcohol in my system so I didn't really dawn on me that he could've been as well. The next time I talked with him I brought up that we should find out if their is relation. He got really defensive and asked where I got that info from (even though I had never asked in the first place, I was just asking in regards to the info I found out at the bar). I told him nowhere and that I just wanted to be sure. We never discussed it again, and began to grow closer, until one day my mother happened to come to my house and he was there. She asked who his people were and he mentioned a last name that my mother immediately recognized but its my Paternal side of the family. She basically let us know that we're related. (My great grandmother and one if his great grandparents were siblings) We are in very close proximity in regards to cities we lived in and i was literally always with my Great grandmother as a child. I adored her, but i just have no recollection of him even though his grandmother is my great grand's niece.
We were never physically involved but I was still so heartbroken. I really don't know what to do. He subliminally posted on Snapchat a few months later that read
"There is this beautiful red girl I want, but our history won't let us."
My sister said she saw him one night back in June and he asked about me. I saw him last weekend after not seeing or talking to him for months but we went back to the first time ever seeing other. No words, just exchanging looks.
I'm not sure what to do. I've broken down in tears from this because I have no one to talk to about it. I don't know if we fell in love or just feel a deeper connection because of relation. I am also African American and that's extremely taboo for my race. If anyone has any advice or need more information on our history please message me or reply to this board. I would appreciate any love right now ❤
The thought has been planted in her mind. If you were to keep trying to get her
to see you as a couple could backfire on you. Let it be, no pressure on her, no mention of it,
and just be her friend, If she should begin to see you in the way you want, she will let you know.
It might be by actions or maybe by words, but you will know. BUT you must also be prepared
to accept that she may never see you in the same way.
When she next visits, play it cool, just be a friend and enjoy the visit with no other expectations.
I wish I saw this sooner, I enlisted Victoria's gay sister to bring up the idea that I could possibly have a crush on her. Long story short she knows and accepts it she said she loves me too but I don't know if it's the same way. Any tips I could get her to accept the idea of us a couple of any other helpful advise. This time I'll check before I tell my first cousin I'm in love with her...
PS we're both 18, we talk everyday and everynight and send snaps saying how much we wish each other a wonderful sleep, she's also a hour away but coming to visit this Sunday. Big time freaking out.
Advice would be sort of dependent on your ages.
But if you see each other often, are around each other and know each other pretty well,
if the situation arises you could always use the line " if you weren't my cousin I would date you" or
"you possess the qualities I look for in a girlfriend." If she gives you the EWW factor or shows shock
or disinterest, you always have the out of telling her " I said IF" Gives you an out, lets you know if there
is any interest, and/ or plants the seed of possibilities with her. Don't mention it again, let her take the lead on
this after you have told her. Whatever you do, DON'T declare your love for her----- yet anyway!!
Build a solid friendship, one a potential relationship could be built on.