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Showing content with the highest reputation since 05/04/2016 in all areas

  1. 10 points
    This is a post I've been meaning to write for a while, because I see so many people struggling with their feelings, and with how the world will/is responding. And I too struggled for years, and thought the idea of being with my cousin was impossible, and thought that if we were together, if by some chance he felt about me the way I felt about him, things would be impossibly hard. We've been married for about two months now. At the very least, members of our family(ies) accept us, and some of them are very happy we're together. Our friends all know and accept us. We are very lucky, and our world is not going to be what everyone gets, but I've learned that there are some advantages to cousin relationships that most relationships don't have, and I want to share that, because I think a lot of you don't know that, and are scared and confused, and I want you to know that not only are cousin relationships NOT impossible, but there are some things that make them special. So, for one thing. If/when your family accepts your relationship, here's a big plus: you are both invested in the same people. When our mutual grandmother (she just turned 87 and lives by herself) needs help, we are both right there to do everything we can. If one of us is more available than the other, that person spends the night at her house. If she's not feeding herself right, we both remind her of that, and if one of us decides to buy her nutritional supplements out of our grocery fund, the other one is happy about that. This is our family. We take care of them, and we both know why, and we both agree on that. Related, if there is a disagreement in the family, we send in the one of us who is best positioned to handle it. So, my husband/cousin's mother's husband (no relation to either of us) emailed the family saying he thought we should all come together and force our grandmother (again, no relation of his) into assisted living. And we talked about how to respond, and in that case my husband/cousin handled it beautifully. And I'm the one who calls our grandmother at least once a week, and tells her we both love her, and checks in on how she's doing, because I'm better on the phone. All of the above is about family, which is really important. But the personal is even more important. My husband/cousin and I saw each other a couple of times a year when we were kids. We didn't see each other for about ten years from adolescence to adulthood. After that, we saw each other again about twice a year, until I moved close to him and things got complicated. But at that point, I already knew him. I'd known him my whole life. We always talked freely about our relationships to each other. I watched him be a father to another woman's three girls, who weren't his, until she made it impossible for him. I knew what he would be like in a relationship before I was ever with him. I knew his strengths, and his flaws, just as he knew mine. And I knew that his strengths were exactly what I needed, and I knew that I complimented his flaws. I walked into this relationship knowing exactly what I was walking into, and loving him for who he is. To me, that's the most powerful potential about a cousin relationship. That you can know the other person, so well, on other terms, before you become romantically involved or commit to them. That's not something most people get to have. Anyone who reads this and is struck by it, or anyone who is struggling with the possibility of a cousin relationship, please feel free to respond here, or to message me directly. And for those of you who are in happy cousin relationships: anything to add?
  2. 5 points
    i drafted this years ago for others to use... edit it as you see fit. i'm stickying it so it doesn't get lost again. Dear Mom, I have something to tell you that is very important to me, but am having a difficult time knowing how to bring the subject up. I decided that writing it in a letter might make it easier. I have fallen in love with the most wonderful person. We share an incredible relationship. We know each other's every thought. We respect each other, understand each other, and give each other unconditional love and support. I have never felt so comfortable in a relationship before. I feel completely at ease with this person, without having to try and pretend to be someone or something which I am not. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that this is the person I want to share my life with. Our choice, however, may be seen as somewhat controversial. In fact, even we struggled with our feelings, knowing we would face opposition. You see, the person whom I've fallen in love with is my cousin. But rather than deny ourselves the chance at happiness, we decided to pursue our relationship very slowly, and with a great deal of caution. It is important to me that you know we seriously considered all aspects of a relationship such as ours after doing a great deal of research on the subject. It is also very important to me that you research the issue of cousin marriage also, before you draw any conclusions. What we've discovered in our research is that marriage between two cousins is not nearly as uncommon as people would think. We've also learned that we had preconceived notions about cousin marriage that we have learned from society, but which have no basis of truth. We have learned that cousin marriage is fully supported by the Bible, as well as almost every other world-religion. We've learned that the risk of genetic defects is only very slightly higher than any other couple, and in fact much lower than many other couples based on lifestyle choices. We've also learned that genetic counseling is something to be strongly considered if we decide to expand our family in the future. We've looked into exactly what genetic counseling can and can not do, and are confident that a qualified expert could determine if we are at a higher risk. We've learned that cousin marriage is legal throughout the majority of the world, including much of the United States. We've even discovered that until about 150 years ago, cousin marriages were common, and much more accepted by society than they are today. One of the most important things we have learned is that we are not alone. An average of one out of every 1000 marriages are between two first cousins, and many more relationships occur between cousins that choose not to marry. We are both fully aware that marriage is a serious commitment, and that such commitments are not always easy. A strong marriage takes alot of work. There will always be obstacles to overcome, and we realize that social prejudice is adding one more hurdle for us. But we also believe that those who love us will be supportive of our decision once they, too, have looked into the issue and separated fact from myth. I love you. We both do. Your acceptance and your blessing are very important to us, but are not required. We are both old enough, mature enough and wise enough to know that true love is something to celebrated, never wasted. With or without your support, we intend to pursue this relationship. I will always value your feelings and respect your opinions, but this is a choice that only we can make. I hope that this letter brings you joy and not despair. If you are disappointed, I am asking you to look at a couple of websites which provide an enormous amount of information which is thoroughly researched and documents the sources of the information. Those websites are www.cuddleinternational.org and www.cousincouples.com. All my love,
  3. 3 points
    Fourth Cousin? I don't even KNOW any of my fourth cousins!! There is NO prohibition against fourth cousins that I've ever heard of. You are being abused by a bunch of bullies. Don't let them control your lives. I'd tell them to take a long walk off a short pier and mind their own business. I recommend a book that helps you deal positively with bullies: NASTY PEOPLE: HOW TO STOP BEING HURT BY THEM WITHOUT STOOPING TO THEIR LEVEL by Dr. Jay Carter. Welcome to our group. We are here to give you support and encourage you. HUGS Nat
  4. 2 points
    I was very scared when I found out I was pregnant with my first cousins baby. I was so afraid I would give birth to a baby who had defects. After discussing with my Dr. about why I was concerned about the pregnancy, he told me, I could have a normal & healthy baby like any other woman. He did the normal tests that you get done while being pregnant and everything was fine in my case. I gave birth to a very healthy 8lb 3.5 oz baby boy. To this day, we have a normal, healthy 40 year old. :-) I would suggest you talk with your Dr. first and see what he/she thinks. I am quite sure blood tests can provide the information needed so, you can decide what course of action you and your cousin should take with having a child. Wishing you all the best.
  5. 2 points
    several months ago, the staff discussed posting the ToS on the board. it's always been a part of the registration page that everyone must sign, but who really reads the stuff they agree to anyway? besides, there was some stuff that wasn't covered in it, and at the time we discussed it, all of the staff contributed suggestions on what needed to be included. i'm posting the ammended ToS below. you might each want to familiarize yourself with it.
  6. 2 points
    My advice is to immediately invite him to stay at your house! HUGS Nat
  7. 2 points
    I feel Dr. Phil was very rude to this couple. I hope they are keeping strong, and anyone else Dr.phil discouraged.
  8. 2 points
    An 8 year old who has a fabulous relationship with the father - the ex is going to lose!!!! There are going to be lots of people feeling very jealous of your happiness and some of them may be relatives. LOL So please keep us aware of how things are going. HUGS Nat
  9. 2 points
    Hubby and I, second cousins, are very happy. Married over15 years, retired for over 4, and having a great time traveling wherever we want in our RV! Life is good!
  10. 2 points
    No no no... It will only be awkward if YOU make it awkward. Guys approach/not approach while girls accept/reject. Thats our job. Lol So it is just NORMAL that you told her your feelings.. No regrets man! You just did what yiu have to do rather than have those regrets in the future. Own it like a man and chuck it to your arsenal of experience. You did the right thing. Seriously! ? Approach the next cute girl you meet man, make friends with her and interact and be social and it will do you wonders, man. ? Pooch
  11. 2 points
    the thing is, he had the ability to have a genetic specialist on there, and he CHOSE instead to have someone who would give slanted and inaccurate information. that was not by accident. it was totally intentional.
  12. 2 points
    What is it with you guys that just want to have sex with your cousin!!!! Do you not think enough of these young ladies to either have a REAL relationship with them and treat them as they should be treated or are you just STUPID enough to think that they think you are the BEST thing in the world to come their way??????? Honestly I may be old, but if I were either of your cousins I would kick you to the curb, and be HIGHLY insulted that you think so lowly of me! Maybe it is time to mature in your thinking, it isn't all about you.
  13. 2 points
    personally, i think his behavior sounds kinda stalker-ish. if it's all just by text and social media, then i don't know what can be done. but if he bothers you in person or at your home or workplace, you might consider filing a restraining order.
  14. 2 points
    How old are the two of you?? He sounds really young or maybe immature. All you can do is keep repeating that your aren't interested, don't waver or give in. You don't need to feel guilty that you don't love him. If his feelings are hurt that is for him to work through, not for you to feel guilty about.
  15. 2 points
    We are heading to Arizona tomorrow, weather permitting in Amarillo!! Have a blessed and Happy New Year!! I will check in when I can.
  16. 2 points
    Hey Zachary, personally, I was the exact same way. I was attracted to my second cousin from the second we first reconnected. He always acted as though he was attracted to me as well. But, when I found out we were cousins I completely shut the idea out of my head. I was scared. I was scared of what people would say. Scared of losing friends. Scared of how the family would react. It took me getting in a relationship, and getting engaged to that abusive piece of trash to finally came around. Charles gave me the courage to leave. He was always there for me. It took that expierence for my sister to come to me and (although he had told me) tell me that genetic wise we would be fine and that I shouldn’t care what people think and say. It took her telling me that it wasn’t illegal in our state. It took seeing that no matter what, he was always going to be there for me. I don’t know if you’ve tried it yet or not but try going about it at the way of just showing her, it’s okay. Now, Charles and I have now been together for 9 months, he has started talking about the future... but... the only people who know we are together is my mother, sister, brother in law, niece and nephew, and a few of our friends. We have yet to take the leap and become public (his wanting... I want to scream it from the rooftop) hope i helped.
  17. 2 points
    Well, my idea of fun is a bit "different": I have filed to be a candidate for a local election! Never, in my wildest dreams, did I ever think of doing that! LOL HUGS
  18. 2 points
    We travel with our 5th wheel trailer. Visit places, family and friends on the way to where ever. Have been in Missouri for about 3 weeks. Visited the Clydesdale horse ranch, the WW1 memorial and museum in Kansas City and several other historical places in the area where we are. Heading back to Texas in a couple of days and will be at a lake for some r&r and some fishing!!
  19. 2 points
    hi elie if you two have a child together, only the nearest kinship would be applicable. so he (or she) would simply be your child... and your cousin's child. the answer you're looking for would be first cousin twice removed... but like i said, that relationship is not one that would be counted or considered for any purpose other than curiosity's sake. but your child isn't going to be a freak show in a traveling circus, so that's just useless information! if you two get married, his dad will be your father-in-law. the fact that he's also your first cousin once removed is irrelevant. your family dynamic has changed. for the record, i'm also married to my first cousin once removed. his dad is my first cousin. we've been married for 19 years... i never could wrap my head around calling him "dad", so i just call him by his first name. but then again, i never called my in-laws from my previous (unrelated) marriage mom or dad either. your child would only considered the 'grandchild' of your parents and your cousin's. likewise, your child would only be the niece or nephew to any of your siblings or your cousin's... no need to count the generations and try to sort out the degrees of kinship or who is once, twiced, or not-at-all removed. always remember the nearest degree is the only one that counts. so the relational stuff would be exactly as it would be if the father were not related to you at all. hope that helped!
  20. 2 points
    When we got married 16 years ago my wife and I decided we would try to do something we've never done, or go somewhere we've never been at least 3-4 times a year. We've taken vacations in D.C. , Idaho, an Alaskan cruise, and many other places.In February we went snowmobiling for the first time. Next weekend we're going to a Celtic festival. And whether we enjoy it or decide "Never again" the point is we are experiencing and sharing it together. There is so much to see and do in this world I'm sure you'll find something you'll both enjoy.
  21. 2 points
    Hi Sir Pooch! Sorry for the late reply hehe kala ko po kasi wala ng active dito kaya di ko siya naccheck daily. Napadpad po ako dito kasi curious po ako kung may mga ibang cases katulad ng akin at syempre gusto ko din po ma inspired sa mga sucessful stories nila. Yes sir bale 5 months na po this december. For your 1st question po, nag break po kami kasi napuno na po ako nun eh bale nahuli ko po siya. Nakakita po ako ng photo na halos magkiss na sila nung bakla niyang ka work na napag-awayan na din namin dito at inaway din ako. Haha di ko alam kung ano meron sa kanila pero i don’t care na po haha tapos kasi since almost years na kami nun parang nagtatagal na lang kami kasi nanghihinayang kami na matagal na kami. Madaming beses niya na din po ako pinagsinungalingan at nahuhuli ko po siya na may kalandian minsan ang masakit pa dun may mga asawa na. Kaya ayun nauntog na ako sabi ko tama na. Di naman po ako nagpaligaw agad agad bale parang nirespeto pa din ni L yung fresh ako from break up basta nandyan lang siya di niya ako pinepressure na maging kami. Tsaka ayoko po maging unfair din sa kanya. Mas naging malalim po yun samahan namin mga Late Feb or March na parang nahuhulog na ako sa kanya nanaman kasi napakabait niya talaga as in lalo na saakin kahit dati pa nung childhood/ puppy love days pa lang kaya di po nakakapagtaka na naging kami agad haha ayaw ko na din po siya pakawalan kasi sobrang mahal ko na siya at alam ko ganun din po siya.
  22. 2 points
    This is a difficult subject for me to answer without all up in arms because it gets me a little angry, to be honest. Everywhere you have the gay pride flag waving around...and gay marriage, to my knowledge, has never been legal in US history until a few years ago for everywhere. You have pedophilia that's trying to gain acceptance and there are people/groups that will actually defend pedophilia, saying Pedophiles are just like the LGBT in wanting to love who they love...*eyeroll* Then you have cousins....cousin couples were actually in the bible! Unlike Pedophilia....it's not sexually exploiting and taking advantage of children.....yet it's still looked at as disgusting and vile? Pedophilia's still looked at as disgusting and vile...and it's still against the law, which it always was and always should be. Polygamy and open relationships are celebrated. These are different groups trying to fight for the right and privilege to love and be accepted for who they love(Pedophilia never will, it just can't fly) Why can't that be cousin couples again? At one point in history, it was legal all over the US....but at some point down the line, states started making it illegal...I guess out of concern for how future generations would turn out. It just irks me though....why are is the LGBT being made legal and...well, I don't know what to say about pedophilia....and cousin couples are still looked at by the social circle, the media and legally as 'ick'? To me, this is so unfair....I have trouble comprehending it. So, to answer your question KC...I don't think so. For some reason, the western culture still considers this taboo and seem like they don't even want to acknowledge it or treat it like any other issue. It has to be hush hush and kept under the rug like it's something to be ashamed of.
  23. 2 points
    I will most definitely keep you both in my thoughts and prayers ❤ Sounds to me your family has a lot of growing up to do
  24. 2 points
    You will find nothing in the Bible against cousin relationships, God has blessed and encouraged those unions at least 6 times that I know of. If you are certain you are 4th cousins then you share about as much DNA as any unrelated couple and can as far as I know of marry anywhere you wish. You and your cousin are adults, your family gets no say in your relationship at all, did they ask you for permission when choosing their significant others? I know their judgment can be cruel but it is their problem not yours. Be with who makes you happy and if their verbal abuse continues cut them off, either they will come around or they won't but you do not deserve that type of treatment especially from family. I sincerely wish you the best of luck in your relationship and in life ❤
  25. 2 points
    Sorry Lady C I jinxed the site lol ? If you care for her even in the slightest then hit a bar and try your luck there. Cousin relationships are already stigmatized and complicated enough, you shouldn't use anyone for sex especially family!!
  26. 2 points
    I will get back to you on this one very soon. Right now I am elbows deep and preparing a brisket for the smoker. I'm sure others will weigh in if they're available today also
  27. 2 points
    spare her the misery if you just want to get physical. at this age, i can promise you that there is more of a chance of a snowball fight in hell than of her wanting casual sex. if you think she may be wanting some type of relationship, then trust your instincts... the key word there is relationship. if that's not something that is first and foremost in your mind as well, then pass on by.
  28. 2 points
    Hi Roze, Unang-una sa lahat, welcome sa forum. Bibihira lang ang mga Pinoy dito kaya natutuwa naman ako na may isa pang naririto. Paano mo nalaman yung forum? Anyhow, to respond: 21 years old ka and siya naman ay 22. Anong ibig mong sabihin sa nagpahinga? Please be honest with us. After all, anonymous naman dito. Walang may kilala sa iyo. Pero isang bagay ang maipapayo ko sa iyo: Wag kang padalos-dalos, Roze. Mag-antay ka. Don't do anything kasi mas lulubha pa yang sitwasyon mo once na may gawin ka pang mali. Lahat ng tao nakatingin sa iyo at lahat ng mga mata nakatingin sa kanya. Sunday itong post mo and Wednesday pa lang sa ngayon. 3 days pa lang ang nakakalipas. Relax. Second point: She is a big girl already. SHE IS 22! Don't worry about her too much as if she cannot take care of herself. Pare wag ganun. Girlfriend mo yun -- hindi batang paslit. Let her shoulder the same burden. Kasama mo siya sa buhay. Pinasok niya rin naman yang sitwasyon niyo eh so 50-50 lang. 50% akuin mo, and 50% naman akuin niya. Yan ang fair. You cannot just put it all on you. Hindi ka si Prince Charming na ililigtas siya sa Nueva Ecija. Por pabor. Now having said that though, IKAW YUNG LALAKE. Brad, ikaw yung may bayag. I know this will be hard pero treat this as a challenge. This will separate you from the boys so talagang pakatatag ka. I am not saying na mag-iiiyak ka papunta sa kanila na "huhuhu..kukunin ko na siya sa kanila.." Parang awa mo na, huwag na huwag mong gagawin yun. Kasi hindi ka irerespeto ng mga magulang niya (tiyuhin at tiyahin mo). Tapos gusto mong kunin (ano yun itatanan mo?) Kailangang ipakita mong lalakeng-lalake ka. Eto para sa iyo. Nawa'y lumakas ang loob mo. Sabi ni Pablo, 1Co 16:13 (13) Magsipagingat kayo, mangagpakatibay kayo sa pananampalataya, kayo'y mangagpakalalake, kayo'y mangagpakalakas. Panghawakan mo yan brad. Kasi ikaw ang magiging padre-de-pamilya eh. Ikaw ang magiging husband. Ikaw ang magiging tatay. Ibang level na ito brad. Hindi na ito laro-laro, if you know what I mean. Entering a relationship for a Christian is a very serious thing...aba mas lalo na kung it's with your cousin! Pooch
  29. 2 points
    Nagkausap na po kame, all we have to do now is earn. Thanks mga ka CC, and all couples out there, we can do this! FIght!
  30. 2 points
    have you spent time personally studying scripture on the subject and getting real with God in prayer over this to seek His will? because if you have, and you have peace about this, then that's the only "opinion" that counts. and if those you go to church with know you to be sincere in your walk with God, then that should be enough for them. once upon a time we had a cafe press store for this site. we had a couple of cute little items that said "if God is our judge, the get out of His seat!"
  31. 2 points
    here's the thing, too. and i don't know if your mom is a woman who lives her faith or just gives it lip service, so i'm not criticizing her specifically. but in general, people who don't stand up for God's law when it comes to other issues don't have the right to use the Bible to point fingers. especially since their fingers don't know what the Bible says to begin with.
  32. 2 points
    LOL those next verses aren't examples. they are the definitive list defining close kin. but unfortunately getting people to change their minds and believe that is easier said than done.
  33. 2 points
    You don't say a word to him. You're 14 and he's 20. And he's about to be married. And BTW, it was most inappropriate for him to give even a hint of attraction toward you. Wait 4 years and if you still have feelings for him and he is not married, come back here and we will steer you in the right direction.
  34. 2 points
    Tell her, "If we were not cousins ..." and see how she responds!
  35. 2 points
    Hi, share lang ako background, married kami first cousin ilang buwan na, may baby na kami 1month old. Ganyan din ginawa namin inabot, kami ng 4 years hanggang naging ganito. Ako yung guy, tapos sya parati nakikipagbreak pero hindi rin ako matiis, haha. Advise ko alamin mo kung ano talagang rason nya kasi kung ang rason talaga nya na maghiwalay ay dahil magpinsan kayo, magagawan pa yan ng paraan kelangan lang may mag take ng lead. Pagmay love parati yan may paraan. Sayang 5 years of memories kung maghiwalay pero massayang pagdagdagan mo pa ng years tapos mali din reason nya kung bakit kayo magBF/GF. Emphasize ko ha, alamin ang totoong rason, pagmali immediately layuan mo, masasayang oras mo when you could be really happy.
  36. 1 point
    I get to start off the newest forum. I hope many find it helpful. I am one of those who is "broken" because of a breakup after a 20-some year marriage to my cuz. Well, I was broken the first time we broke up for an extended time period. The second time I am like, "Yo! Get the f out of my life! You crazy ..." (Yeah I am aware of the language). Can I just be myself for a minute here? My wife's brother (my fav cousin! lol) used to say, "Oh, you guys have been together f-o-r-e-v-e-r." Yeah no kidding, we are real-life kissing cousins from the get-go. My biggest problem now is that I still dream about her. Not those kind of dreams necessarily. Pervs! Well, OK maybe those too. But I wake up and realize that she is gone and I jump out of bed and I feel great. I thank God that she is gone! Thank you for reading. Despite my levity, I know the pain of a nasty breakup. That is why I started this forum.
  37. 1 point
    Been along time since I stopped by. Judy went home 8 years ago which I believe was the last time I stopped by. Praying all is going well with everyone. Have a very merry Christmas!
  38. 1 point
  39. 1 point
    In the beginning, Google Chrome raised the bar on web browsers. They were the first one to come out with svg support and multi-threaded Javascript. I was on board with Chrome for a few years. However, given the nature of Google's business model (much like Facebook's), they are the envy of intelligence agencies around the world. Read this. I have personally been moving away from all things Google for the past few years and I have found an excellent browser, Brave, (built by the guy who invented Javascript) which is excellent. It give the user precise control over intrusive ads, trackers and fingerprinting. You can also turn off scripts, but don't. If you need to turn off scripts, you are at the wrong website! It is also compatible with Google Chrome plugins (extensions) and it imports your bookmarks easily. It's Chrome without the spyware; in fact, it has the best security features built-in of any browser. The Brave Browser is based upon the same framework as Google Chrome or as I like to call it, Gugl Khrom. You can also get paid for browsing the web and even tip some of the websites that you visit often. It allows a few ads to slip through and actually pays you for your time. This is a much better business model than the free software like Google. If the software is free, then you are the product. Please give Brave a try. I've been using it for 3 months and I love love love it. Can you tell that I love this browser? Try it for a week. Be Brave.
  40. 1 point
    I wasn’t able to watch the show but seeing some of the clips had me coming back here. (No internet & format from my phone is different & I’ll have to get used to.) Anyway, my 1st & only child (so far) is 5 & starting Kindergarten next week. He is the love of my life besides his father, my 1st cousin. He’s smart, sassy, witty, & so handsome!! When we got pregnant w him, we had already had 2 miscarriages. I thought I’d never get to have my dream of having children. I also want to say that I don’t believe my miscarriages were due to us being cousins. I had just gotten off the pill after being on it MANY, MANY years. Lost twins ([email protected] 8wks & the other @ 10wks). Lost another & then got pregnant w my rainbow baby. I didn’t tell any of my friends or family until almost 1/2 way through my pregnancy. I was worried about Down syndrome & possible other birth defects that are concerns for 1st cousins having babies, but I felt like the chances of my rainbow baby having @ least one of these was greater due to my age. I was 41 when I got pregnant w him & 42 when I had him on his due date. Besides his attitude (sometimes), he may have a slight stigmatism but he’s PERFECT!!
  41. 1 point
    Question: Does she have a boyfriend? If you say no, how do you know? Pooch
  42. 1 point
    We are second cousins, married 15 years. No problems with family, except for a few comments in fun. We just don't announce it to the world. It isn't any of business of others unless we want them to know. I'm not sure what you are struggling with, but if you have been married that long, something must be working. Did your families have any problem with your relationship? Personally speaking, you may be borrowing trouble where there is none. Because the Utah couple chose to be so public, doesn't mean you have too. Of course many of those cruel/mean comments that are made toward them are behind the anonymity of the internet and very well might not be so cruel/mean in a face to face situation. Also most of them are not aware of the state laws and biblical recognition of cousin couple relationships. They speak from ignorance of the correct information. Don't let the negativity integrate into your relationship. At the end of the day they get no say in your life. Best wishes as you work through our struggles.
  43. 1 point
    My dad and her grandfather are either first or second cousins what would that make me and her?
  44. 1 point
    I have allergies and bad eyesight yet my parents were not related. Sometimes we can get hysterical about being related for no good reason. Years ago, when I was drinking too much, my blood pressure was extremely high and my doc was perplexed because he could not get it down. We tried for 6 months. One day I asked if I should monitor my blood pressure at home. My doc said, "Why do you want to do that? It's just going to tell you if it is high or not, and what are you going to do if it is high?" I thought my doctor saw everything backasswards but his logic was irresistible. Let's say that a cousin couple went to a geneticist and the doc said, well, because of your family history, you have a 5 percent increased chance of having a baby with a birth defect. Maybe the couple is already pregnant. So what is the knowledge of these stats going to change? To me, it is a time waster. Another example - I go to church with a medical doctor. He has two kids with some sort of profound genetic disorder (they can hardly walk). The doctor is not related to his spouse. Now, after the first child was born with the disease, the doctor had to know very well that having another child would be extremely risky. Well he did have another child and he lost the genetic lottery, unfortunately. I'm sure his colleagues berate him behind his back. I don't hold it against him, although I am sure I would have made different decisions. I guess I see things differently.
  45. 1 point
    Hi! I am now in a 4 months relationship with my second cousin. Here’s our story.. He is 22 and I am 23. Actually, matagal na pong may something samin, i forgot na kung ilan taon kami nun pero elementary days pa lang kilala na namin yung isa’t isa so ayun parang mutual feelings na din crush ko siya nun tapos crush niya din ako pero di ko pa alam nun na magpinsan kami since tiga province siya at tiga manila ako, umuuwi lang kami pag bakasyon ganun. Every year kami ako nagbabakasyon edi every year ko din siya nagkikita then na open ko sa mga pinsan ko na close na crush ko siya tapos sabi nga nila kamag anak daw namin sila na second cousin nga daw. Edi ayun medyo gets ko na parang hindi pwede. Pero ewan ko ba... dumating yung time na high school days na at nauso ang phone nagkatext kami tapos ayun inopen niya yung feelings niya pero ako naman di ko sineseryoso kasi alam ko nun bawal.. Kaso talagang ewan ko ba bakit di ko mapigilan haha ang pasaway ko hindi naman naging kami NOON pero parang M.U. Kami sweet kami, nagkikita kami patago kasabwat ng mga pinsan ko kasi alam nila tapos ang bait niya kasi sakin para siyang best friend ko na din na one call a way lang andyan na kaya lalo ako nainlove sa kanya kaso nandun pa din yun takot na hindi kami pwede at baka mapagalitan kami kaya dumating na din yung point na iniwasan ko siya at di ko na tinext. Ang damng beses ko na siyang iniwasan pero nagkaka usap pa din kami. Year 2012 nagka boyfriend na ako.. at siya din nagka gf na din. Pero kahit may bf ako at gf siya may mga times pa din na naguusap kami pero madalang at kamustahan na lang pero minsa di maiwasan ma open nanaman yung tungkol samin. Pero syempre di namin pinilit kasi may mga sarili kaming relasyon. Basta alam ko na nandun pa din siya para sa akin kahit minsan na lang kami mag usap. Pinapayuhan niya ako at pag kailangan ko siya isang tawag lang nandyan agad. Di pa din siya nagbabago, ang lakas ko pa din sa kanya. Parang kahit nag ka bf ako di siya nawala sa puso at isip ko ewan ko kung bakit. Alam ng EX BF ko at nung mga taong malalapit sakin na kung hindi ko SECOND COUSIN yun. Siya ang pipillin at siya talaga gusto ko. Hanggang sa dumating na din yung point na nag break kami ng EX BF last december 2016. Alam na! Haha minahal ko naman yung ex ko na yun at seryoso ako kaso napaka sinungaling niya at katulad ng ibang relasyon nagkasawaan parang nagtatagal na lang kami kasi nanghihinayang kami magbreak at ilan beses ko na din siyang nahuling may something so ayun break na syempre move on na. Then ayun since magkausap kami ni second cousin parang kino comfort niya ako nun pero wala na siyang gf nun matagal na din silang break. Hanggang sa na open again yung feelings niya sabi niya liligawan niya ako at gusto niya maging kami at ipaglaban na daw namin this time yung amin... so parang ako din gusto ko na din kasi gusto ko talaga siya at mahal ko siya matagal na kaya sinagot ko na siya. Masaya ako ngayon masayang masaya pero minsan may doubt din na kung ano pwedeng mangyari sa future. Baka di kami tanggapin or itakwil. Ang hirap kalabanin ng familly. Pero I made a research na okay naman na magpakasal dito at legal naman kaso syempre ang mapanghusgang society pero wala akong pake sa sasabhin ng iba ang iniisip ko yung pamilya ko. Yung masasabi nila. Sana hindi. Lagi ko pinagdadasal na sana matanggap at maintindihan nila kasi mahal ko na talaga to. Meron din bang may ganitong sitwasyon and ano masasabi niyo or payo? Salamat po.
  46. 1 point
    good idea. i went in and edited the title for him.
  47. 1 point
    He very well could be. This is why we generally advise against FWB relationships and jumping into any form of relationship before you've given yourself enough time to grieve after a breakup. If you're done with having a sexual relationship with him and have made your self clear and talked everything out and he isn't over it then giving him space is probably the best thing atm. Maybe with time the two of you will be able to repair your friendship but it will never be the same. Let him have his space for now, he's obviously very emotional and he needs the time to process his feelings.
  48. 1 point
    So, to summarize: you stopped having casual sex with your cousin who was on a rebound from a bad breakup, and now he's distant. I would say yes, him being distant is pretty normal in a situation like that. What kind of relationship do you want with him?
  49. 1 point
    Yep! Totoo yan. Pangasinan probinsya ng nanay ko. San probinsya mo 9/9?
  50. 1 point
    ahahaha, sarap ng unang halik ano....ahahaha, hindi sya first ko, pero sya ang first na nakapag patino sakin...and ako ang first love nya according to her...atm madalas namin pag usapan ang dati namin moments...namimiss nya lahat, although clueless parin ako as to what mangyayari, hahahaha, ang hirap ng unang move, before sinabi nya sinabi na kami nalang, we were holding hands most of the time kapag aalis, cuddle while watching and, well kissing...sa first kiss i was the one who made the move, we were drinking and alam mo un, we were at the same frequency of thinking, and yeah, kuryente to the max talaga, parang sinampal ka ng harapab ng kabilaan para ipa realize sayo, hoy, sya na ang tadhana mo...hahahaha, pero grabe talaga ang feelings na yun


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