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Showing content with the highest reputation since 05/04/2016 in all areas

  1. 10 points
    This is a post I've been meaning to write for a while, because I see so many people struggling with their feelings, and with how the world will/is responding. And I too struggled for years, and thought the idea of being with my cousin was impossible, and thought that if we were together, if by some chance he felt about me the way I felt about him, things would be impossibly hard. We've been married for about two months now. At the very least, members of our family(ies) accept us, and some of them are very happy we're together. Our friends all know and accept us. We are very lucky, and our world is not going to be what everyone gets, but I've learned that there are some advantages to cousin relationships that most relationships don't have, and I want to share that, because I think a lot of you don't know that, and are scared and confused, and I want you to know that not only are cousin relationships NOT impossible, but there are some things that make them special. So, for one thing. If/when your family accepts your relationship, here's a big plus: you are both invested in the same people. When our mutual grandmother (she just turned 87 and lives by herself) needs help, we are both right there to do everything we can. If one of us is more available than the other, that person spends the night at her house. If she's not feeding herself right, we both remind her of that, and if one of us decides to buy her nutritional supplements out of our grocery fund, the other one is happy about that. This is our family. We take care of them, and we both know why, and we both agree on that. Related, if there is a disagreement in the family, we send in the one of us who is best positioned to handle it. So, my husband/cousin's mother's husband (no relation to either of us) emailed the family saying he thought we should all come together and force our grandmother (again, no relation of his) into assisted living. And we talked about how to respond, and in that case my husband/cousin handled it beautifully. And I'm the one who calls our grandmother at least once a week, and tells her we both love her, and checks in on how she's doing, because I'm better on the phone. All of the above is about family, which is really important. But the personal is even more important. My husband/cousin and I saw each other a couple of times a year when we were kids. We didn't see each other for about ten years from adolescence to adulthood. After that, we saw each other again about twice a year, until I moved close to him and things got complicated. But at that point, I already knew him. I'd known him my whole life. We always talked freely about our relationships to each other. I watched him be a father to another woman's three girls, who weren't his, until she made it impossible for him. I knew what he would be like in a relationship before I was ever with him. I knew his strengths, and his flaws, just as he knew mine. And I knew that his strengths were exactly what I needed, and I knew that I complimented his flaws. I walked into this relationship knowing exactly what I was walking into, and loving him for who he is. To me, that's the most powerful potential about a cousin relationship. That you can know the other person, so well, on other terms, before you become romantically involved or commit to them. That's not something most people get to have. Anyone who reads this and is struck by it, or anyone who is struggling with the possibility of a cousin relationship, please feel free to respond here, or to message me directly. And for those of you who are in happy cousin relationships: anything to add?
  2. 5 points
    i drafted this years ago for others to use... edit it as you see fit. i'm stickying it so it doesn't get lost again. Dear Mom, I have something to tell you that is very important to me, but am having a difficult time knowing how to bring the subject up. I decided that writing it in a letter might make it easier. I have fallen in love with the most wonderful person. We share an incredible relationship. We know each other's every thought. We respect each other, understand each other, and give each other unconditional love and support. I have never felt so comfortable in a relationship before. I feel completely at ease with this person, without having to try and pretend to be someone or something which I am not. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that this is the person I want to share my life with. Our choice, however, may be seen as somewhat controversial. In fact, even we struggled with our feelings, knowing we would face opposition. You see, the person whom I've fallen in love with is my cousin. But rather than deny ourselves the chance at happiness, we decided to pursue our relationship very slowly, and with a great deal of caution. It is important to me that you know we seriously considered all aspects of a relationship such as ours after doing a great deal of research on the subject. It is also very important to me that you research the issue of cousin marriage also, before you draw any conclusions. What we've discovered in our research is that marriage between two cousins is not nearly as uncommon as people would think. We've also learned that we had preconceived notions about cousin marriage that we have learned from society, but which have no basis of truth. We have learned that cousin marriage is fully supported by the Bible, as well as almost every other world-religion. We've learned that the risk of genetic defects is only very slightly higher than any other couple, and in fact much lower than many other couples based on lifestyle choices. We've also learned that genetic counseling is something to be strongly considered if we decide to expand our family in the future. We've looked into exactly what genetic counseling can and can not do, and are confident that a qualified expert could determine if we are at a higher risk. We've learned that cousin marriage is legal throughout the majority of the world, including much of the United States. We've even discovered that until about 150 years ago, cousin marriages were common, and much more accepted by society than they are today. One of the most important things we have learned is that we are not alone. An average of one out of every 1000 marriages are between two first cousins, and many more relationships occur between cousins that choose not to marry. We are both fully aware that marriage is a serious commitment, and that such commitments are not always easy. A strong marriage takes alot of work. There will always be obstacles to overcome, and we realize that social prejudice is adding one more hurdle for us. But we also believe that those who love us will be supportive of our decision once they, too, have looked into the issue and separated fact from myth. I love you. We both do. Your acceptance and your blessing are very important to us, but are not required. We are both old enough, mature enough and wise enough to know that true love is something to celebrated, never wasted. With or without your support, we intend to pursue this relationship. I will always value your feelings and respect your opinions, but this is a choice that only we can make. I hope that this letter brings you joy and not despair. If you are disappointed, I am asking you to look at a couple of websites which provide an enormous amount of information which is thoroughly researched and documents the sources of the information. Those websites are www.cuddleinternational.org and www.cousincouples.com. All my love,
  3. 3 points
    Fourth Cousin? I don't even KNOW any of my fourth cousins!! There is NO prohibition against fourth cousins that I've ever heard of. You are being abused by a bunch of bullies. Don't let them control your lives. I'd tell them to take a long walk off a short pier and mind their own business. I recommend a book that helps you deal positively with bullies: NASTY PEOPLE: HOW TO STOP BEING HURT BY THEM WITHOUT STOOPING TO THEIR LEVEL by Dr. Jay Carter. Welcome to our group. We are here to give you support and encourage you. HUGS Nat
  4. 2 points
    several months ago, the staff discussed posting the ToS on the board. it's always been a part of the registration page that everyone must sign, but who really reads the stuff they agree to anyway? besides, there was some stuff that wasn't covered in it, and at the time we discussed it, all of the staff contributed suggestions on what needed to be included. i'm posting the ammended ToS below. you might each want to familiarize yourself with it.
  5. 2 points
    My advice is to immediately invite him to stay at your house! HUGS Nat
  6. 2 points
    I feel Dr. Phil was very rude to this couple. I hope they are keeping strong, and anyone else Dr.phil discouraged.
  7. 2 points
    An 8 year old who has a fabulous relationship with the father - the ex is going to lose!!!! There are going to be lots of people feeling very jealous of your happiness and some of them may be relatives. LOL So please keep us aware of how things are going. HUGS Nat
  8. 2 points
    Hubby and I, second cousins, are very happy. Married over15 years, retired for over 4, and having a great time traveling wherever we want in our RV! Life is good!
  9. 2 points
    No no no... It will only be awkward if YOU make it awkward. Guys approach/not approach while girls accept/reject. Thats our job. Lol So it is just NORMAL that you told her your feelings.. No regrets man! You just did what yiu have to do rather than have those regrets in the future. Own it like a man and chuck it to your arsenal of experience. You did the right thing. Seriously! ? Approach the next cute girl you meet man, make friends with her and interact and be social and it will do you wonders, man. ? Pooch
  10. 2 points
    the thing is, he had the ability to have a genetic specialist on there, and he CHOSE instead to have someone who would give slanted and inaccurate information. that was not by accident. it was totally intentional.
  11. 2 points
    What is it with you guys that just want to have sex with your cousin!!!! Do you not think enough of these young ladies to either have a REAL relationship with them and treat them as they should be treated or are you just STUPID enough to think that they think you are the BEST thing in the world to come their way??????? Honestly I may be old, but if I were either of your cousins I would kick you to the curb, and be HIGHLY insulted that you think so lowly of me! Maybe it is time to mature in your thinking, it isn't all about you.
  12. 2 points
    personally, i think his behavior sounds kinda stalker-ish. if it's all just by text and social media, then i don't know what can be done. but if he bothers you in person or at your home or workplace, you might consider filing a restraining order.
  13. 2 points
    How old are the two of you?? He sounds really young or maybe immature. All you can do is keep repeating that your aren't interested, don't waver or give in. You don't need to feel guilty that you don't love him. If his feelings are hurt that is for him to work through, not for you to feel guilty about.
  14. 2 points
    I was very scared when I found out I was pregnant with my first cousins baby. I was so afraid I would give birth to a baby who had defects. After discussing with my Dr. about why I was concerned about the pregnancy, he told me, I could have a normal & healthy baby like any other woman. He did the normal tests that you get done while being pregnant and everything was fine in my case. I gave birth to a very healthy 8lb 3.5 oz baby boy. To this day, we have a normal, healthy 40 year old. :-) I would suggest you talk with your Dr. first and see what he/she thinks. I am quite sure blood tests can provide the information needed so, you can decide what course of action you and your cousin should take with having a child. Wishing you all the best.
  15. 2 points
    We are heading to Arizona tomorrow, weather permitting in Amarillo!! Have a blessed and Happy New Year!! I will check in when I can.
  16. 2 points
    Hey Zachary, personally, I was the exact same way. I was attracted to my second cousin from the second we first reconnected. He always acted as though he was attracted to me as well. But, when I found out we were cousins I completely shut the idea out of my head. I was scared. I was scared of what people would say. Scared of losing friends. Scared of how the family would react. It took me getting in a relationship, and getting engaged to that abusive piece of trash to finally came around. Charles gave me the courage to leave. He was always there for me. It took that expierence for my sister to come to me and (although he had told me) tell me that genetic wise we would be fine and that I shouldn’t care what people think and say. It took her telling me that it wasn’t illegal in our state. It took seeing that no matter what, he was always going to be there for me. I don’t know if you’ve tried it yet or not but try going about it at the way of just showing her, it’s okay. Now, Charles and I have now been together for 9 months, he has started talking about the future... but... the only people who know we are together is my mother, sister, brother in law, niece and nephew, and a few of our friends. We have yet to take the leap and become public (his wanting... I want to scream it from the rooftop) hope i helped.
  17. 2 points
    Well, my idea of fun is a bit "different": I have filed to be a candidate for a local election! Never, in my wildest dreams, did I ever think of doing that! LOL HUGS
  18. 2 points
    We travel with our 5th wheel trailer. Visit places, family and friends on the way to where ever. Have been in Missouri for about 3 weeks. Visited the Clydesdale horse ranch, the WW1 memorial and museum in Kansas City and several other historical places in the area where we are. Heading back to Texas in a couple of days and will be at a lake for some r&r and some fishing!!
  19. 2 points
    hi elie if you two have a child together, only the nearest kinship would be applicable. so he (or she) would simply be your child... and your cousin's child. the answer you're looking for would be first cousin twice removed... but like i said, that relationship is not one that would be counted or considered for any purpose other than curiosity's sake. but your child isn't going to be a freak show in a traveling circus, so that's just useless information! if you two get married, his dad will be your father-in-law. the fact that he's also your first cousin once removed is irrelevant. your family dynamic has changed. for the record, i'm also married to my first cousin once removed. his dad is my first cousin. we've been married for 19 years... i never could wrap my head around calling him "dad", so i just call him by his first name. but then again, i never called my in-laws from my previous (unrelated) marriage mom or dad either. your child would only considered the 'grandchild' of your parents and your cousin's. likewise, your child would only be the niece or nephew to any of your siblings or your cousin's... no need to count the generations and try to sort out the degrees of kinship or who is once, twiced, or not-at-all removed. always remember the nearest degree is the only one that counts. so the relational stuff would be exactly as it would be if the father were not related to you at all. hope that helped!
  20. 2 points
    When we got married 16 years ago my wife and I decided we would try to do something we've never done, or go somewhere we've never been at least 3-4 times a year. We've taken vacations in D.C. , Idaho, an Alaskan cruise, and many other places.In February we went snowmobiling for the first time. Next weekend we're going to a Celtic festival. And whether we enjoy it or decide "Never again" the point is we are experiencing and sharing it together. There is so much to see and do in this world I'm sure you'll find something you'll both enjoy.
  21. 2 points
    Hi Sir Pooch! Sorry for the late reply hehe kala ko po kasi wala ng active dito kaya di ko siya naccheck daily. Napadpad po ako dito kasi curious po ako kung may mga ibang cases katulad ng akin at syempre gusto ko din po ma inspired sa mga sucessful stories nila. Yes sir bale 5 months na po this december. For your 1st question po, nag break po kami kasi napuno na po ako nun eh bale nahuli ko po siya. Nakakita po ako ng photo na halos magkiss na sila nung bakla niyang ka work na napag-awayan na din namin dito at inaway din ako. Haha di ko alam kung ano meron sa kanila pero i don’t care na po haha tapos kasi since almost years na kami nun parang nagtatagal na lang kami kasi nanghihinayang kami na matagal na kami. Madaming beses niya na din po ako pinagsinungalingan at nahuhuli ko po siya na may kalandian minsan ang masakit pa dun may mga asawa na. Kaya ayun nauntog na ako sabi ko tama na. Di naman po ako nagpaligaw agad agad bale parang nirespeto pa din ni L yung fresh ako from break up basta nandyan lang siya di niya ako pinepressure na maging kami. Tsaka ayoko po maging unfair din sa kanya. Mas naging malalim po yun samahan namin mga Late Feb or March na parang nahuhulog na ako sa kanya nanaman kasi napakabait niya talaga as in lalo na saakin kahit dati pa nung childhood/ puppy love days pa lang kaya di po nakakapagtaka na naging kami agad haha ayaw ko na din po siya pakawalan kasi sobrang mahal ko na siya at alam ko ganun din po siya.
  22. 2 points
    This is a difficult subject for me to answer without all up in arms because it gets me a little angry, to be honest. Everywhere you have the gay pride flag waving around...and gay marriage, to my knowledge, has never been legal in US history until a few years ago for everywhere. You have pedophilia that's trying to gain acceptance and there are people/groups that will actually defend pedophilia, saying Pedophiles are just like the LGBT in wanting to love who they love...*eyeroll* Then you have cousins....cousin couples were actually in the bible! Unlike Pedophilia....it's not sexually exploiting and taking advantage of children.....yet it's still looked at as disgusting and vile? Pedophilia's still looked at as disgusting and vile...and it's still against the law, which it always was and always should be. Polygamy and open relationships are celebrated. These are different groups trying to fight for the right and privilege to love and be accepted for who they love(Pedophilia never will, it just can't fly) Why can't that be cousin couples again? At one point in history, it was legal all over the US....but at some point down the line, states started making it illegal...I guess out of concern for how future generations would turn out. It just irks me though....why are is the LGBT being made legal and...well, I don't know what to say about pedophilia....and cousin couples are still looked at by the social circle, the media and legally as 'ick'? To me, this is so unfair....I have trouble comprehending it. So, to answer your question KC...I don't think so. For some reason, the western culture still considers this taboo and seem like they don't even want to acknowledge it or treat it like any other issue. It has to be hush hush and kept under the rug like it's something to be ashamed of.
  23. 2 points
    I will most definitely keep you both in my thoughts and prayers ❤ Sounds to me your family has a lot of growing up to do
  24. 2 points
    You will find nothing in the Bible against cousin relationships, God has blessed and encouraged those unions at least 6 times that I know of. If you are certain you are 4th cousins then you share about as much DNA as any unrelated couple and can as far as I know of marry anywhere you wish. You and your cousin are adults, your family gets no say in your relationship at all, did they ask you for permission when choosing their significant others? I know their judgment can be cruel but it is their problem not yours. Be with who makes you happy and if their verbal abuse continues cut them off, either they will come around or they won't but you do not deserve that type of treatment especially from family. I sincerely wish you the best of luck in your relationship and in life ❤
  25. 2 points
    Sorry Lady C I jinxed the site lol ? If you care for her even in the slightest then hit a bar and try your luck there. Cousin relationships are already stigmatized and complicated enough, you shouldn't use anyone for sex especially family!!
  26. 2 points
    I will get back to you on this one very soon. Right now I am elbows deep and preparing a brisket for the smoker. I'm sure others will weigh in if they're available today also
  27. 2 points
    spare her the misery if you just want to get physical. at this age, i can promise you that there is more of a chance of a snowball fight in hell than of her wanting casual sex. if you think she may be wanting some type of relationship, then trust your instincts... the key word there is relationship. if that's not something that is first and foremost in your mind as well, then pass on by.
  28. 2 points
    Hi Roze, Unang-una sa lahat, welcome sa forum. Bibihira lang ang mga Pinoy dito kaya natutuwa naman ako na may isa pang naririto. Paano mo nalaman yung forum? Anyhow, to respond: 21 years old ka and siya naman ay 22. Anong ibig mong sabihin sa nagpahinga? Please be honest with us. After all, anonymous naman dito. Walang may kilala sa iyo. Pero isang bagay ang maipapayo ko sa iyo: Wag kang padalos-dalos, Roze. Mag-antay ka. Don't do anything kasi mas lulubha pa yang sitwasyon mo once na may gawin ka pang mali. Lahat ng tao nakatingin sa iyo at lahat ng mga mata nakatingin sa kanya. Sunday itong post mo and Wednesday pa lang sa ngayon. 3 days pa lang ang nakakalipas. Relax. Second point: She is a big girl already. SHE IS 22! Don't worry about her too much as if she cannot take care of herself. Pare wag ganun. Girlfriend mo yun -- hindi batang paslit. Let her shoulder the same burden. Kasama mo siya sa buhay. Pinasok niya rin naman yang sitwasyon niyo eh so 50-50 lang. 50% akuin mo, and 50% naman akuin niya. Yan ang fair. You cannot just put it all on you. Hindi ka si Prince Charming na ililigtas siya sa Nueva Ecija. Por pabor. Now having said that though, IKAW YUNG LALAKE. Brad, ikaw yung may bayag. I know this will be hard pero treat this as a challenge. This will separate you from the boys so talagang pakatatag ka. I am not saying na mag-iiiyak ka papunta sa kanila na "huhuhu..kukunin ko na siya sa kanila.." Parang awa mo na, huwag na huwag mong gagawin yun. Kasi hindi ka irerespeto ng mga magulang niya (tiyuhin at tiyahin mo). Tapos gusto mong kunin (ano yun itatanan mo?) Kailangang ipakita mong lalakeng-lalake ka. Eto para sa iyo. Nawa'y lumakas ang loob mo. Sabi ni Pablo, 1Co 16:13 (13) Magsipagingat kayo, mangagpakatibay kayo sa pananampalataya, kayo'y mangagpakalalake, kayo'y mangagpakalakas. Panghawakan mo yan brad. Kasi ikaw ang magiging padre-de-pamilya eh. Ikaw ang magiging husband. Ikaw ang magiging tatay. Ibang level na ito brad. Hindi na ito laro-laro, if you know what I mean. Entering a relationship for a Christian is a very serious thing...aba mas lalo na kung it's with your cousin! Pooch
  29. 2 points
    Nagkausap na po kame, all we have to do now is earn. Thanks mga ka CC, and all couples out there, we can do this! FIght!
  30. 2 points
    have you spent time personally studying scripture on the subject and getting real with God in prayer over this to seek His will? because if you have, and you have peace about this, then that's the only "opinion" that counts. and if those you go to church with know you to be sincere in your walk with God, then that should be enough for them. once upon a time we had a cafe press store for this site. we had a couple of cute little items that said "if God is our judge, the get out of His seat!"
  31. 2 points
    here's the thing, too. and i don't know if your mom is a woman who lives her faith or just gives it lip service, so i'm not criticizing her specifically. but in general, people who don't stand up for God's law when it comes to other issues don't have the right to use the Bible to point fingers. especially since their fingers don't know what the Bible says to begin with.
  32. 2 points
    LOL those next verses aren't examples. they are the definitive list defining close kin. but unfortunately getting people to change their minds and believe that is easier said than done.
  33. 2 points
    You don't say a word to him. You're 14 and he's 20. And he's about to be married. And BTW, it was most inappropriate for him to give even a hint of attraction toward you. Wait 4 years and if you still have feelings for him and he is not married, come back here and we will steer you in the right direction.
  34. 2 points
    Tell her, "If we were not cousins ..." and see how she responds!
  35. 2 points
    Hi, share lang ako background, married kami first cousin ilang buwan na, may baby na kami 1month old. Ganyan din ginawa namin inabot, kami ng 4 years hanggang naging ganito. Ako yung guy, tapos sya parati nakikipagbreak pero hindi rin ako matiis, haha. Advise ko alamin mo kung ano talagang rason nya kasi kung ang rason talaga nya na maghiwalay ay dahil magpinsan kayo, magagawan pa yan ng paraan kelangan lang may mag take ng lead. Pagmay love parati yan may paraan. Sayang 5 years of memories kung maghiwalay pero massayang pagdagdagan mo pa ng years tapos mali din reason nya kung bakit kayo magBF/GF. Emphasize ko ha, alamin ang totoong rason, pagmali immediately layuan mo, masasayang oras mo when you could be really happy.
  36. 1 point
    .. You can always work. That seems to be all I'm doing at the moment. Not fun for a significant other but hey, money. 😂😂
  37. 1 point
    I will be moving to a new server shortly. This will be the first website on that server, so it may require some tweaking. It may take longer than I would like. Expect the message board to be locked while the changeover occurs.
  38. 1 point
    It sounds to me like this is actually blackmail. Win a lottery jackpot and see how they talk THEN!! They have NO right to control you lives. Hang in there and good luck! HUGS Nat
  39. 1 point
    you're married. that means your cousin is off limits. you need to find a way to reconnect with the man you vowed to share your life with, and that means you're going to have to walk away from the sexy cousin.
  40. 1 point
  41. 1 point
    First cousin. My mom and her dad ay magkapatid. The thing is though, they are 'magkapatid' but 'questionable'. And the reason why I say that is because her dad is not fully sure whether they have the same dad. But suffice it to say, both of them have the same mom. So either they are full blooded siblings or half-siblings. And so we are first cousins. Responsible? I have to be! lol. Otherwise, wala kaming patutunguhan ni gf. And besides, I think that's makes a guy attractive -- isn't it? I dunno.. and it just adds confidence na rin which spirals things upward. The problems and stuff like those, of course sure dumarating yan, pero it's how you deal with it kasi and sometimes, even avoiding them before it gets to your plate. For example, I want to be financially stable para sa future namin ni gf. It means I cannot just buy a brand new car even via loan or something like that even though I can...I'm pretty sure you know what I mean. Nabangga kasi ako lately. Meron akong 70K lang na 1998 Oldsmobile. I just bought it for less than $3K 3 years ago. Eh binagga ako sa intersection just about a month ago. I'm okay naman, walang galos, walang anything. But my car is a total wreck. Sabi ng mga tao sa paligid ko, "Uy panahon na to get a new one!" blah blah blah... My sister is even willing to loan me something for me to get something na may dating talaga if you know what I mean... My parents back in Vancouver are even willing to 'lend' me (which is quite ironic given that they are already on their pensions) money para makabili ako ng talagang bigating kotse na "maipagmamalaki ko daw". Oh please... But then I got my own plans. Syempre gusto ko kasama rin si gf sa plano kasi we are together eh. I got a 2004 Buick for about $4300 lang. 144 clicks. I bought it cash. O edi walang problema! diba? I got a respectable car. An upgrade. Without mortgage. Without debt. Carry ng budget. And okay naman ang kotse. Sounds good! Heck, mas mura pa insurance ko! LOL! Anyhow, I gave that example sa itaas kasi nakatira ka sa North America eh, and you can definitely relate. hahaha. Thanks for wishing me the best. MInsan kailangan rin naming mga guys ng tapang no. Pooch
  42. 1 point
    I am serious and I think I am going to take this slow and try to work my way to a point where I can maybe tell her how I feel or at the very least, maybe she'll figure it out and if I am lucky, maybe feel the same. The last thing I want to do is rush things or add any drama to her life since she's already been through enough and what I really want to do is lighten her load. With a child on the way, the first thing I want her to know is that she can depend on me. I have decided with trying to provide for her needs and that of her expecting child.
  43. 1 point
    somehow i missed the fact that you were 20, thus making her 15. i'm glad you are willing to wait, because... well first off, you aren't in columbia, so their age of consent is irrelevant. and secondly, even in your state she is not yet 16, so she is NOT legally able to have a relationship with you with OR without parental consent. but thirdly, and most importantly, is this. she's still just a child. she's got emotions that she doesn't even know she has yet, and won't learn how to handle them for years to come. and no matter what any law says, or any person says, or any love-struck person thinks, a 15 year old lacks the maturity to handle a serious relationship. can it work? sure.... my mother-in-law married at the age of 15 and has been married now for sixty years and change. but she was raised in a different time, a different culture, and was doing hard manual labor on the farm and helping with the housework and raising of siblings from the time she was able to walk. you and your cousin are products of a millennial generation that, as a general rule of thumb, has grown up with cell phone in hand, car keys in pocket, and head in the clouds. a generation that, for the most part, doesn't have a clue what hard work really is, and would exercise their free choice to snub their nose at it if they ran across it. i'm not saying YOU are that way, but you've grown up in a culture where that is the mindset. and unfortunately, that cultural mindset only reinforces a lack of relational skills. technologically your generation is FAR more advanced than mine can ever be, but it has the unintended affect of having stunted emotional growth. most people don't know how to communicate well except by text message. people get hired and fired by text, couples fall in love by text and break up by text. i'm sure you'll probably jump to your (and her) defense and insist that both of you are the exceptions to the rule, but the truth of the matter is, you can't live in this society in this day and age without being severely affected by it. and so, i'm glad you're willing to wait. because to pursue a serious relationship at this point would end in heartache for at least one of you. and chances are, she'd be the one hurt the most... because young girls are easily scarred. and because you've got five years more experience and maturity than she does. (and just because emotionally, physically, and psychologically, guys are just stronger than girls are)
  44. 1 point
    Well your mom can feel whatever she pleases but it doesn't make it so. God has already made his decision on the subject and that is that. Your relationship has nothing to do with her, period. I know she's your mother and I'm sorry if I sound harsh but if she is more concerned with how others will look at her, has no interest in your feelings what so ever and because of this is demeaning and nasty towards you then not only is she not a very good mother but I'd also say she's not as good of a religious women as well. I don't know much about you in any other aspect of your life but as far as your relationship with your cousin is concerned you are all right on that front in the eyes of the Lord. I'm sure I've mentioned this before but I'll say it again. You do not deserve to be treated like that, especially by someone who's love is supposed be unconditional. You don't have to cut your mother off all together but I would suggest distancing your self from her negativity. Be assertive, let her know it will not be tolerated and if she has any love for you at all she will cut it out or risk losing you. Your life is yours to live, not hers.
  45. 1 point
    Scratch the flight information. Just found out today that she's taking care of all that! Can't wait till January though I'm super nervous about my first time in the air
  46. 1 point
    Hi KC, Sorry to hear about your health and your struggles to quit smoking. I said a prayer for you. May God heal you. Take Care Ambra
  47. 1 point
    ditto what hawk says. you're no longer children, and your parents no longer get to have a say in who you date. they can manipulate the two of you into breaking up ONLY if you allow them to. but as adults, you have the right (and responsibility to yourselves) to stand up for yourselves and not let your family blackmail you into submission. this is part of entering adulthood. it's not always an easy rite of passage, but it's a necessary one. we have a letter that you're welcome to give your family that explains the truth about genetics, laws and morality on the subject of cousin marriage. a lot of people use that because their families won't stop objecting long enough to listen to the facts. the letter is something you can hand them and walk away from, leaving them to read it when they're ready. and then the ball is in their court. they can either accept your choice or not... and if not, then it's on THEM when you walk away.
  48. 1 point
    Update me sa mga susunod na pangyayari Roze. We are not here to judge you nor to tell you something na makakasama sa iyo. Marami kang karamay dito sa forum. I wish you all the best sa relationship at sa gf mo. I-regards mo kami ni 9/9 sa kanya. hehehe.. Atsaka kung sakali, pwede mo rin siyang pasalihin dito. I know na medyo nalilito-lito pa yun sa kung anong dapat gawin or whatnot..pero pag-usapan ninyong maigi kung anong tamang step. Ako brad, marami na rin akong instances na "muntikang mahuli" if you know what I mean (lol) pero so far hindi pa kami nagsasabi eh.. Wala pa ang revelation day ko...pero I know na darating na rin yun..and it will come soon. Nakakainggit ka nga eh! Kasi buti ka pa wala ka ng kailangan pang itago. When your mom asked her and nagtapat siya, anong sabi ng mom mo? Yes she is okay with cousin marriage pero anong sabi niya as a mom sa iyo? Alam na rin ba ng dad mo? How about yung mga kapatid mo? Anyhow, post ka lang... si 9/9, workaholic yan sa shift niya kaya panakaw-nakaw lang ng posts yan via his cellphone. (tama ba ako? lolz) pero mabait yan.. Niyaya niya nga rin ako ng inuman eh.. Sabi ko sa kanya, sige payag ako pero since hindi ako umiinom, softdrinks lang ang akin... ako na bahala sa pulutan/snacks. lol Pooch
  49. 1 point
    evongelo, you bring up some interesting points... and i'd like to put some of my own thoughts to each of your points. not sure this is the right time since i need to mow the lawn before it rains today since i'm going out of town for a week.... but i'll at least start. yes... but.... remember the pharisees and sadducees? i think many, many preachers and evangelists today are very similar to those religious leaders of the past. so while i hear what you're saying, it happened back then, too. a LOT. you're absolutely right though. a preacher (or anybody for that matter) is just human and their theological word should never be taken as truth by anyone else, just because they think the preacher is more knowledgable and has degrees and what-not. the best preachers will even tell you that straight up! they'll tell you that scripture says we must be as the bereans, studying the word of God to see if what is being preached is God's word or man's word. God makes His word accessible to anyone who seeks it. no pastor, theologian, evangelist, or blow-hard on a christian message board has any more of a direct line to God than the hooker on the street corner. a fancy education and elocution lessons don't make a person "right". anyone who seeks God's truth can find it. the Bible is His word revealed to us... some of it is confusing, of course, but that which is a mystery is JUST as big a mystery to the learned as to the unlearned. those are the issues that churches kinda get divided on, and why there is so much doctrinal debate. but the core gospel, what God wants us to understand here and now, is indisputable. that's not to say a lot of people won't TRY to dispute us. God says there will be a great falling away. the church will become apostate. this really isn't anything new, though. history is always repeating itself and we can see examples of this apostacy all through scripture. and we can certainly see it in today's "church". i use that term collectively. the church i attend is one that teaches line by line, verse by verse, chapter by chapter. i like that method of teaching a lot. but i'm not afraid to question my pastor if i think what he says is incorrect. that hasn't happened with my current pastor, but i've only been at this church for a few months. my last church though, i had many discussions with the pastor there on things i didn't think were right. the discussions were really great ones! and sometimes i'd have to concede that he was right. other times, he conceded he was wrong. but he was the kind of preacher that encouraged us to come to him if we thought he was in error. i will never go to a church where i feel i am not welcome to do that. i've seen people here say they couldn't get married because their pastor was un-budging on the subject. that's really sad. no pastor is above the word of God.
  50. 1 point
    I think this will really touch his heart........... :cry: every words mentioned in your poem refers to my feelings for my cousin.


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