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Showing content with the highest reputation since 04/25/2018 in Posts

  1. 2 points
    exactly! pooch, at two years, most people are still enjoying a honeymoon stage. his wife is having an emotional affair and treating her husband like yesterday's garbage. what's worse, she's allowing other people to treat him with disrespect. this isn't an isolated incident for his wife, she's been doing it over and over even after being caught. she's not likely to stop. if she had any interest in stopping, she wouldn't keep disrespecting him and then manipulating him with threats of suicide. it's a double whammy. it's emotional infidelity and emotional blackmail. he needs to cut loose from her before things get more psychotic.
  2. 2 points
    Murder should be the last resort, not divorce. Kidding! Kidding! The reason some couples stay married for 50 years isn't because they are so compatible but because they have lived through total crap together. The problem here is that his wife is continuing to hold on to this inappropriate relationship. There appears to be nothing left to do except lace up the walking shoes.
  3. 2 points
    hi elie if you two have a child together, only the nearest kinship would be applicable. so he (or she) would simply be your child... and your cousin's child. the answer you're looking for would be first cousin twice removed... but like i said, that relationship is not one that would be counted or considered for any purpose other than curiosity's sake. but your child isn't going to be a freak show in a traveling circus, so that's just useless information! if you two get married, his dad will be your father-in-law. the fact that he's also your first cousin once removed is irrelevant. your family dynamic has changed. for the record, i'm also married to my first cousin once removed. his dad is my first cousin. we've been married for 19 years... i never could wrap my head around calling him "dad", so i just call him by his first name. but then again, i never called my in-laws from my previous (unrelated) marriage mom or dad either. your child would only considered the 'grandchild' of your parents and your cousin's. likewise, your child would only be the niece or nephew to any of your siblings or your cousin's... no need to count the generations and try to sort out the degrees of kinship or who is once, twiced, or not-at-all removed. always remember the nearest degree is the only one that counts. so the relational stuff would be exactly as it would be if the father were not related to you at all. hope that helped!
  4. 2 points
    The cousin is half way around the world; there is no need to sell the farm just yet. First, I will say that your wife is being so damn immature that it is apparently making me cuss outloud (wife is asking me why I am cussing). Your wife is being very hurtful to you. I wish I could give her some frank advice. Her indifference over the fate of her marriage is stunning. I would make it clear that this is an intolerable situation and that I was leaving if she ever installed messenger again. You have to have boundaries to have a healthy relationship and for your mental health. Set them, stick to them, and let the cards fall where they may. PS putting her phone in the oven on 400F overnight might make you feel a little better.
  5. 2 points
    When we got married 16 years ago my wife and I decided we would try to do something we've never done, or go somewhere we've never been at least 3-4 times a year. We've taken vacations in D.C. , Idaho, an Alaskan cruise, and many other places.In February we went snowmobiling for the first time. Next weekend we're going to a Celtic festival. And whether we enjoy it or decide "Never again" the point is we are experiencing and sharing it together. There is so much to see and do in this world I'm sure you'll find something you'll both enjoy.
  6. 1 point
    Hello everyone! I'm new here and found your website after some light Googling. I have my own cousin story to tell, and decided to create an account and share it with you all. I have known my first cousin once removed (her grandmother is my aunt) for the better part of 6 years. We met each other late in life, and only found each other when she sent me a friend request on FB after recognizing my last name. At first, we really didn't get along. She thought I was fat, quiet, and nerdy, and I thought she was loud, rude, and overbearing. We continued like this for a while, but over time, we got to know each other and eventually discovered there was a person beneath our initial assumptions. I always thought she was gorgeous, but it wasn't until last September that it felt like I saw her for the very first time. Instead of just noticing how beautiful she was, I noticed all of her other qualities and it wasn't long after, that I legitimately fell in love with her. This was the second time in my life that I ever felt about a woman this way, and if anything, it's stronger than the first time. My love for her inspired me to lose over 160 lbs and get my act together in a way that made me mature as a person and become more confident. I started reaching out to her more, opening up about my past and inner most thoughts, and she did likewise. I started buying her little gifts to show I was thinking about her, never failing to wish her good night on Facebook, telling her how beautiful she is, and never failing to be there for her when she needed me. We grew closer, closer than I ever thought possible. She now invites me over to her place where we spend fun evenings baking, talking, and watching TV. We hug and embrace, I have worked up the nerve to kiss her on the forehead when it's time for me to go home, and we express in words and in writing how much we mean to each other. One night, we stayed in her car and just talked for hours, until 2 AM in the morning. So far, this is as far as we got. I'm grateful for the progress we made and I don't want to blow it by moving too fast. I'm choosing to let things develop naturally and not force a 'moment' where I finally kiss her and tell her I love her. My cousin means the world to me, I place her happiness far above my own, and no matter what, no matter if we don't end up how I would like to, I'll always be there for her.
  7. 1 point
    Guys, i was thinking now of leaving her. Its been more than a week sincd we have this problem. And she seems not looking or giving effort to keep back the relationship. We dont talk since then. She has her pride. Im not the one who did the mistake so why should i look down upon myself. She seems more concerned with her feeling of being like "Broken-hearted", and was like started telling me that there's no forever when we saw other couples happy. I think its the best for me now, and should start doing whats best for myself too. I'll keep you posted guys for any updates. Many thanks! Cheers!
  8. 1 point
    Ms LadyC, Your quote of: "...his wife is having an emotional affair" "...she's been doing it over and over even after being caught." My thought is: If she's doing this with another guy, i wouldn't hesitate of leaving her right away. No 3rd time would exist at all....... But 😞 , i was caught on this situation, of them being just a "COUSIN". 😫
  9. 1 point
    Harharhar! That's right KC! 😈 Hear! Hear! LOL Pooch
  10. 1 point
    LadyC, They have only been married for two years though. Isn't it the case that this is the usual phase where couples are really getting the hit of reality that they really are no longer "single"? And that they are indeed really married? And so left and right there will be problems. I just wish that the OP's situation is not as bad as it sounds like...you know..? That it can still be salvaged. Divorce should always be the last resort... ☹ However, if the trust with one another is damaged, it really will erode the marriage and the relationship so fast... Pooch
  11. 1 point
    if it was really "only cousins" then they wouldn't be so incredibly disrespectful to you and to your feelings. listen, i wish i could tell you something that would make it all better. oh wait, i CAN! here it is. leave her. get an annulment. if you need a reason for the annulment, here it is: she treats you with disrespect. and you refuse to be treated that way by your wife. and yes, that really will make it all better. because if you continue with this charade of a marriage, it's just going to continue to compound your misery. end your marriage. as painful as it might be at first, once it is over, you're going to feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off your shoulders.
  12. 1 point
    Jongreg, Are you sure that your wife is 27 years old!? Coz she acts like a teenager...She craves attention from other guys, does not care about the consequences of her actions and does not accept responsibilities. I am sorry that you have to go through this phase in your marriage. I really hope it can be fixed. Have you told her that you are jealous over her? This is different from merely saying "I don't like it when you are cheating" or "It is not normal for both of you to be saying those to one another, especially that you are now married to me".. You know? Like, explicitly tell her that you are jealous. And that jealousy will definitely kill your marriage. But don't give up on her yet though. Though it's definitely inexcusable, It's just that probably she's lonely too. And that this guy from the other side of the world gave her attention and "that high" -- which supposed to be she gets from you. She felt that she is not cheating because she probably thinks that they won't even see each other physically, that it is very unlikely that both of them really will be together or that whatever they are having is merely a 'phase' or just "for good feels". That, however, is wrong. Not just it's wrong on the moral level but even more so on your end! Tell her, if it's flipped around and you are the one going video chats with a coworker or that saying "I love yous" to each other, will she be alright with that? Geez.. Don't have the divorce though... Please work on your marriage. Don't do a heart surgery when you only got heartburns. I am not trying to minimize it though -- but still you gotta "put her on a leash" (to put it crassly) and by that I mean, put her (and yourself) on the leash of marriage. I mean, why be married in the first place if the situation is going to be like the one you are having now?! You know what I am surprised about though? That she is open to that facebook thing. I mean, she got "caught" the first time yet you can still access her facebook messenger. I mean, that might give credance to what she is saying (that it is just normal for them to be close and be tight to one another and stuff like that, you know?) Maybe the first time. But then the second time? Third time!? Now that's becomes kinda interestingly weird for me. Because even with the third emotional cheating, you can still access her messenger. Either she is just "bad in hiding her affair" or that she is telling the truth. Either which, both is not acceptable. Another thing is that how can you tolerate this?! If I were in your shoes, the first time this happened, I will have her block off all communication from that third party. Like, unfriend/block on facebook and all forms off social media. I mean, the first time it happens, you could have dealt with it harshly (because a third party problem in marriage is very serious) yet it seems to me that you didn't.... for it occurred again and again. Either way, I hope it gets better, my friend. And I will end with this: Work on your marriage. It is awkward during this phase but tell her that you don't want to live with this thick cloud over you guys under the same roof. You want to feel that it is homely and comely living with her than with your guy friends when you were in the dorm in college.... And she should understand that and must cook for you good food. Pooch
  13. 1 point
    an emotional affair via messenger or text is just as much an affair as a physical one. in some cases, even MORE so. my advice as a woman is that your wife is no longer invested in your marriage, and that proclamations of depression and threats of suicide are just a way of keeping her financial security from walking out of her life. you deserve better.
  14. 1 point
    Once again, do you have kids? If you don't have kids, take some screenshots, save them and send her a divorce against her and bye bye. Let's make it clear. Think all your married friends. Would they go on vacation with their cousins? Of course not. They would prefer to spend their precious days off wotk with their wifes/husbands! Also when you talk to your female cousins that you've grewn up together and see each other friendly, do you say "Oh it's very nice to chat with you" or do you even delete conversation logs? Of course not, unless you have something to hide. She is inappropriate for marriage. Period. I am pretty sure that you can find an other woman and make a family instead of risking it. If you have kids however, if I was you, I would take her Facebook password and check everything. And if she insisted going vacation with her cousin, I would go with my friends for sextourism in famous locations without her even knowing it. Cos either way the next logs that you will see after the vacation will be "It was the best sex of my life".
  15. 1 point
    When your wife is chatting up another guy all day on messenger, it is not anywhere near normal. I can't see it even being normal in any possible parallel universe. Bro, don't make excuses for her behavior. She should be depressed. If you do not get rid of her, you are going to be depressed to the point of insanity. If your wife brought home another guy, took him to bed and told you to sleep on the couch, would that be ok? I'm just saying that it is fine to set boundaries as rigidly or as loosely as you like, but you have to set them. And when your wife goes beyond them, you pack her stuff up and set it by the curb. Don't sell yourself short. If your wife wants her cousin, buy her a$$ a one-way ticket to the other side of the world so she can be with him.
  16. 1 point
    First of all they haven't met but they only chat through Facebook, right? Even with that way, you must be worried that she will cheat you one day with him! I had a relationship for many years, I was engaged, I was about to get married and I was cheated. Guess what. My ex-nearly-wife was flirting through Facebook and deleting messages! Eventually she cheated on me and married a rich guy! And I am sure that she will break up one day. If you don't have kids and if you are 100% honest with your wife and always good at everything (ex. sex and helping with the house mostly) then your wife has issues and she is not good for marriage. If she has a predisposition to cheat, she will cheat. It's the same with my ex. If the circumstances come she will do it. And when women cheat they quit relationships and marriage. It's not like men. But that's just an opinion. There is a small chance that she will never cheat. What I would do in your position is record her phone calls even if she doesn't know it. You will learn everything. 2nd degree cousin is like no relation. They can normally have sex and kids together.
  17. 1 point
  18. 1 point
    That was pretty brilliant LadyC. I suppose our greatest pearls of wisdom come from the darkest of times.
  19. 1 point
    You are in a situation we have many coming here with. The fact of the matter is you are MARRIED. You did state that. AND you do nothing with the cousin. Regardless of the feelings you two have for each other, you need to cut all ties with him. No text, facebook, phone calls or any other form of communication, UNTIL you decide what you are going to do about the marriage. We do not just give you a pat on the back and say go for it with the cousin just because this is a site for cousin couples. You are essentially cheating on your husband, you said he is a good guy, but he doesn't deserve this. It isn't up to you to decide whether to rip the family apart or not. It is you husband's. You owe it to him to tell him what is going on with you and cousin and let him decide if he is interested in continuing the marriage. I am not throwing stones, nor am I judging you, Just giving you something to think about. I am sure LadyC will chime in on her thoughts too. I wish you the best in dealing with the situation, but truly believe you need to work on your marriage or tell your husband what is going on and let him decide.
  20. 1 point
    Thanks for the advice everyone. I do worry about moving too slow, and I'm trying the best I can to get over the idea to her that I'm in love with her without having to say it. UPDATE: I have told her that if we had met sooner in life, that she would have been my girl. She giggled and wondered what my dad, her uncle, would have said, and I told her I wouldn't have cared. A few weeks later, some friends of ours married and they were in fact, second cousins. She didn't blink an eye at their union, and I used this as an excuse to explain to her that many famous people ended up marrying their cousins. A couple of days after the wedding, we talked about it some more, and she herself said "Well, it would have been like if you and I had hooked up...", which I took as a good sign because if the thought wouldn't had been on her mind, she never would have said anything. Also, the casual way which she mentioned it gave me some encouragement. She told me she had always wanted a puppy when she was a girl, so for the Easter weekend, I took her puppy shopping and let her pick out a dog she wanted. $700 later, with an extra $100 for puppy supplies, she now has the dog she always wanted and is totally in love with it. When I come over to her place, which is often now as she texts me invites, I help her clean. I move her couches and sweep as she focuses on picking up and putting away laundry. Some loser friend was giving her a hard time over on Facebook and made her upset, so I went the Chuck Norris route. I found the guy, and gave him a black eye. She was impressed. She said she never had anyone who fought or stood up for her. Finally, a friend of ours told me that she was talking about me, and she said that "I changed her life in ways I don't even know.", and that she does love and care about me. Not sure about the context, but none the less, still something to be pleased with. This is where we stand right now. My big goal is to kiss her on the lips. I have a feeling when that happens, the dam gates are going to burst and we'll either rise with our emotions or be sunk. I'll be back with updates as they happen.
  21. 1 point
    Cousin factor aside, she and her kids need time to breathe after the divorce. Even if her kids think the divorce is justified and claim they are OK with it, this is still a big change in their lives. Whatever you do, please go slowly and don't let the kids know you're involved until the two of you have been seeing each other for a good long while. It's not fair to the kids to expect them to feel hunky dory with Mom dating someone else right after their family has been torn apart. They need time to heal. I was divorced for 5 years before I started dating my cousin (now husband) and up till that time neither of my two kids met any other man I had dated (there weren't many....) and they had a difficult time processing the cousin factor. After two years of marriage, they have learned to tolerate, maybe even like, my hubby. They are now in their early 20's. It sounds to me like the attraction is mutual between you two. Don't give the online dating thing a second thought; it is not obstacle. My advice is to tell her how you feel but move slowly for the sake of her children.
  22. 1 point
    Stevey, Go for it! Suggest you move to Florida - it is legal here. and do keep us posted. I think she has given you plenty of hints. HUGS Nat
  23. 1 point
    As someone who waited nearly 30 years to marry my cousin, I'm going to encourage you to go for it. I noticed that your signature is Pilipino. I don't know what the social or legal norms are there concerning cousin marriages/relationships. Barring any legal complications, pursue this relationship in spite of the flack your family may give you. They don't get to decide your path to happiness. They don't have to walk in your shoes everyday. I've learned that my family doesn't truly wish me well due to their cold-shouldered response to my husband. That's their loss. Yes, it's easier to say that to accept - I still cry on occasion over their actions towards me. But ultimately, I am happier with my husband's love than with the conditional requirements of my family.
  24. 1 point
    I'm not sure if it's appropriate for this forum, or even this site, so I apologise if this post content is deemed unsuitable and I welcome the moderator or site controller to remove it...... Intimacy The level of intimacy in the bedroom (& other places) that we enjoy and love is so far beyond anything either of us has experienced before, it's difficult to put into worlds. The incredibly strong emotional connection we feel is enhanced and intensified when we are physically intimate. I would say we are normal in terms of the activities but the joy, satisfication, mental, emotional and physical connection is nothing short of amazing (and oh so satisfying for us both) I'm not sure if this is a result of being first cousins or being in our early 30's with a little prior experience before we got together or whether it's a male/female attraction of the greatest intensity without the cousin factor but I do know we are amazing together ..... mentally, emotionally and physicall. On every possible level we are soulmates.
  25. 1 point
    Well I do not know if mine classifies as a success story regarding our relationship with our family since we live a continent away from everybody who knows we are cousins to avoid judgment and prejudice... But we have been married for almost 12 years and have 2 children, we love each other and we have God in our lives, so I guess it is...