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Showing content with the highest reputation since 05/04/2016 in Posts

  1. 6 points
    This is a post I've been meaning to write for a while, because I see so many people struggling with their feelings, and with how the world will/is responding. And I too struggled for years, and thought the idea of being with my cousin was impossible, and thought that if we were together, if by some chance he felt about me the way I felt about him, things would be impossibly hard. We've been married for about two months now. At the very least, members of our family(ies) accept us, and some of them are very happy we're together. Our friends all know and accept us. We are very lucky, and our world is not going to be what everyone gets, but I've learned that there are some advantages to cousin relationships that most relationships don't have, and I want to share that, because I think a lot of you don't know that, and are scared and confused, and I want you to know that not only are cousin relationships NOT impossible, but there are some things that make them special. So, for one thing. If/when your family accepts your relationship, here's a big plus: you are both invested in the same people. When our mutual grandmother (she just turned 87 and lives by herself) needs help, we are both right there to do everything we can. If one of us is more available than the other, that person spends the night at her house. If she's not feeding herself right, we both remind her of that, and if one of us decides to buy her nutritional supplements out of our grocery fund, the other one is happy about that. This is our family. We take care of them, and we both know why, and we both agree on that. Related, if there is a disagreement in the family, we send in the one of us who is best positioned to handle it. So, my husband/cousin's mother's husband (no relation to either of us) emailed the family saying he thought we should all come together and force our grandmother (again, no relation of his) into assisted living. And we talked about how to respond, and in that case my husband/cousin handled it beautifully. And I'm the one who calls our grandmother at least once a week, and tells her we both love her, and checks in on how she's doing, because I'm better on the phone. All of the above is about family, which is really important. But the personal is even more important. My husband/cousin and I saw each other a couple of times a year when we were kids. We didn't see each other for about ten years from adolescence to adulthood. After that, we saw each other again about twice a year, until I moved close to him and things got complicated. But at that point, I already knew him. I'd known him my whole life. We always talked freely about our relationships to each other. I watched him be a father to another woman's three girls, who weren't his, until she made it impossible for him. I knew what he would be like in a relationship before I was ever with him. I knew his strengths, and his flaws, just as he knew mine. And I knew that his strengths were exactly what I needed, and I knew that I complimented his flaws. I walked into this relationship knowing exactly what I was walking into, and loving him for who he is. To me, that's the most powerful potential about a cousin relationship. That you can know the other person, so well, on other terms, before you become romantically involved or commit to them. That's not something most people get to have. Anyone who reads this and is struck by it, or anyone who is struggling with the possibility of a cousin relationship, please feel free to respond here, or to message me directly. And for those of you who are in happy cousin relationships: anything to add?
  2. 5 points
    i drafted this years ago for others to use... edit it as you see fit. i'm stickying it so it doesn't get lost again. Dear Mom, I have something to tell you that is very important to me, but am having a difficult time knowing how to bring the subject up. I decided that writing it in a letter might make it easier. I have fallen in love with the most wonderful person. We share an incredible relationship. We know each other's every thought. We respect each other, understand each other, and give each other unconditional love and support. I have never felt so comfortable in a relationship before. I feel completely at ease with this person, without having to try and pretend to be someone or something which I am not. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that this is the person I want to share my life with. Our choice, however, may be seen as somewhat controversial. In fact, even we struggled with our feelings, knowing we would face opposition. You see, the person whom I've fallen in love with is my cousin. But rather than deny ourselves the chance at happiness, we decided to pursue our relationship very slowly, and with a great deal of caution. It is important to me that you know we seriously considered all aspects of a relationship such as ours after doing a great deal of research on the subject. It is also very important to me that you research the issue of cousin marriage also, before you draw any conclusions. What we've discovered in our research is that marriage between two cousins is not nearly as uncommon as people would think. We've also learned that we had preconceived notions about cousin marriage that we have learned from society, but which have no basis of truth. We have learned that cousin marriage is fully supported by the Bible, as well as almost every other world-religion. We've learned that the risk of genetic defects is only very slightly higher than any other couple, and in fact much lower than many other couples based on lifestyle choices. We've also learned that genetic counseling is something to be strongly considered if we decide to expand our family in the future. We've looked into exactly what genetic counseling can and can not do, and are confident that a qualified expert could determine if we are at a higher risk. We've learned that cousin marriage is legal throughout the majority of the world, including much of the United States. We've even discovered that until about 150 years ago, cousin marriages were common, and much more accepted by society than they are today. One of the most important things we have learned is that we are not alone. An average of one out of every 1000 marriages are between two first cousins, and many more relationships occur between cousins that choose not to marry. We are both fully aware that marriage is a serious commitment, and that such commitments are not always easy. A strong marriage takes alot of work. There will always be obstacles to overcome, and we realize that social prejudice is adding one more hurdle for us. But we also believe that those who love us will be supportive of our decision once they, too, have looked into the issue and separated fact from myth. I love you. We both do. Your acceptance and your blessing are very important to us, but are not required. We are both old enough, mature enough and wise enough to know that true love is something to celebrated, never wasted. With or without your support, we intend to pursue this relationship. I will always value your feelings and respect your opinions, but this is a choice that only we can make. I hope that this letter brings you joy and not despair. If you are disappointed, I am asking you to look at a couple of websites which provide an enormous amount of information which is thoroughly researched and documents the sources of the information. Those websites are www.cuddleinternational.org and www.cousincouples.com. All my love,
  3. 4 points
    I have been with my first cousin for 33 years and we are still very much in love, there is a bond between us that can never be broken. No matter what anyone has ever said or whispered about us we don't care, God has put us together and we have a very happy and rewarding life. Love knows no bounds! Eric
  4. 4 points
    for the record, i see no reason why you could never be with him publicly. i've been married to my first cousin once removed for 19 years. and in your circumstances, apparently at least one family member that noticed the connection between you two has no problem with it.
  5. 4 points
    wow. ok, first let me ask that (for the sake of those trying to read your post) you go in and add a few more periods here and there. it's not terribly difficult to read, but some of us wise old owls stumble a bit with run-on sentences i'm glad you and your boyfriend haven't had sex. think about this for a sec... in the beginning you probably felt that he was the love of your life. but less than a year later, the two of you are drifting apart. (not to mention that he's a 'bad boy', which probably was part of what drew you to him in the first place... no, i'm not criticizing... it's totally normal! i don't know why but it seems to be natural instinct for us women to be attracted to the bad-boy-persona.) he cheated on you multiple times, he's got some sort of criminal background since he's on probation, you don't get to see him much, and now you're falling for someone new. aren't you glad you didn't give such a precious part of yourself away to someone who was just temporary in your life? now, what to do about him. girl, i know it's hard, but you need to let him know that you don't want to be with him anymore. it won't be the end of his world. in less than a year, you know of three times he's cheated. he's probably STILL cheating, especially since you don't see him often these days. out of sight, out of mind. but you do need to be fair and let him know that you are moving on. as for your cousin, please take things slow. you have a lifetime ahead of you. if you two are right for each other, then taking it slow will make the relationship much stronger than if you jump in too soon. plus, you're still living at home... and taking it slow will also be to your benefit when you (someday) tell your mother. the longer you two have been together the far more likely she'll take it seriously and not freak out.
  6. 3 points
    I am a 41 year old mother of 4. I just joined today. I have been in a relationship, with my first cousin, for 3 years. We have a beautiful 18 month old daughter. We are soulmates. It wasn’t always this way. Our mothers are half sisters and extremely close. We were together for summers and holidays, as children. We would spend the night with each other but never had crushes or anything. We were 5 years apart, in age. (Mikel is a genius and was over my head. So even though I was 5 years older, he was definitely smarter. ) We last saw each other when I was 16 and he was 11. I moved with my father and never saw him again. I got married at 19 , had a daughter at 21 , another at 26, then had a son at 33. My marriage went down the pipes and at 38 I found my true spouse where I least expected. I actually grew up hearing horrible things about people marrying their cousins. I heard that your children would be mentally challenged or physically grotesque. Our child is beautiful, highly intelligent, Perfect and healthy. We don’t usually tell people that we are cousins. It’s not like we’re hiding it, our entire family knows. It’s just not how we introduce ourselves. No matter what, we are husband and wife. I do feel like strangers will judge us. Mikel’s idiot brother makes horrible comments about us and our child. It definitely shows how uneducated people can be and just how nasty. It will never change the fact that we belong together. Even though i was married before, I had this feeling that there was someone out there, made just for me. I felt like my life was running out and I would never find that person. I still can’t believe it was him all along. It seems so funny to me. If someone had told me this, I would have told them that they were insane. I guess true love really is where you least expect it.?❤️
  7. 3 points
    ok, you asked me to read this, and i have. and there are a couple of things here... first off, the cultural perceptions may have a lot to do with this. you're in different countries, but you give any clues as to where. if it's anywhere in western civilization, the cultural perceptions are going to be the same... doesn't matter if you're talking about australia or canada or europe or america, it's the same. but there are some cultures in the middle east that have much more positive views of cousin marriage, and then there are asian cultures that have a very dim view of cousins. if she's from an asian culture, you're unlikely to ever convince her. what exactly is it that she thinks is wrong about it? is it a genetic concern? a moral/biblical concern? or is it just the "what others will say" kind of thing? it might be that the only way to convince her is to enlist the aid of someone in the family to the case in favor of the two of you. i know, nobody knows. but you said you think many family members suspect but are not saying anything to avoid a mess. let me tell ya something. if you think they suspect, then they KNOW. and if they're not saying anything about it, it is NOT to avoid a mess. they're just respecting your privacy. seriously, people who suspect things like this and disapprove aren't going to give a second's thought to how messy it will get if THEY confront you. they're going to be in way too big a rush to get all in your face to tell you what a mess YOU are making. that's just human nature. so you need to go to one of those who suspect that you trust and admire, and that you know SHE will trust, and tell them what's going on. because it sounds to me like the only "wrong" your cousin is seeing is through what she thinks is the eyes of people she's afraid to lose. and if she can get the assurance that they aren't going to judge her, then maybe she'll start to see your relationship as right.
  8. 3 points
    Ouch, that is even painful to read. Now I can begin to see the real problems. The porn is your demon to fight; we all have them. Never trust a man who claims to be above humanity. I suggest that you set up your WiFi router to use opendns. You can set it up to block the porn websites. If that doesn't work, take your computer to the landfill or a Goodwill store You must quit living the way you are. First, you have to figure out what you want in life. Who do you want to spend the rest of your life with? If you want to stay with your cousin, you have to break the news to your family and let the cards fall where they may. If you can't do that then you should leave her. After 20 years you owe her that much.
  9. 3 points
    I just realized that we are 20 years old! This website is twenty years old. I'm not exactly sure about the month, but 20 years is a crazy long time for a website. So -- happy birthday to us! Cheers!!
  10. 3 points
    and i'm one of the old-timers too... i started hanging out here when the site was about a year old. remember the original web design? LOL. mark and i have been married for just over 19 years. here's how we've changed over the years (i would just attach screenshots if i could figure out how!) April 1999: https://web.archive.org/web/19990423210832/http://www.cousincouples.com:80/ May 2000: https://web.archive.org/web/20000520053825/http://cousincouples.com:80/ June 2001: https://web.archive.org/web/20010617012827/http://www.cousincouples.com:80/ Nov 2002: https://web.archive.org/web/20021123174150/http://www.cousincouples.com:80/ Nov 2003 https://web.archive.org/web/20031128084411/http://www.cousincouples.com:80/ Nov. 2005 https://web.archive.org/web/20051130221410/http://www.cousincouples.com:80/ Sept 2013 https://web.archive.org/web/20150903043305/http://www.cousincouples.com:80/
  11. 3 points
    As I read through this, the thing that stuck in my mind is his question, "are you sure you're okay with this" (or something like that - sorry, too lazy to scroll back up! LOL). I don't remember seeing anything explicitly stating that you're BOTH single. Is that the case? Are there any kids involved for either of you? If he's asking that, I suspect he's gauging to see if he can move this to the next level, which would probably be a lot more intimate, or at least as intimate as two people can be over remote distance. The Internet has certainly closed some of those gaps with things like Skype, FaceTime, SnapChat, WhatsApp, and the like. My only advice, if that is the case, is to be very careful with what you share of yourself and how. If you both have strong romantic feelings toward one another, I'd say continue exploring this through friendship. Develop a strong friendship and get to know one another much more deeply. What motivates each of you in life? What are each of your life's dreams and goals? How do you see things in terms of world view (politics and religion)? On what points do you agree and disagree? These things seem small and insignificant when two people are in that initial stage that feels like "in love" but they balloon into "irreconcilable differences" when not resolved early on. Distance is negotiable. One, the other, or even both of you may at some point decide that a relationship and life together trumps whatever you have that's keeping you in your current location doing whatever you're currently doing. But before you get to that point, exercise great patience and get to know one another on levels beyond what you presently think possible. Win, lose, or draw, in ten or twenty years from now, you'll be glad you did. Best wishes and God bless, CM
  12. 3 points
    I married my 1st cousin in a State that allows first cousin marriages. I did not grow up with my cousin but met her later in my teens. I had recently gone through a divorce and needed help raising my child and she needed help raising her two children. We married and have two children together (NO birth defects).We have now been married for 18 years this spring. I find being married to my first cousin as somewhat of a relief, mainly due to we both have a vested interest in the uplifting of our family. We are what you may call the nucleus of our extended family. Family members Come to us for help and advise because we are stable in our marriage and careers. At this point in our marriage, I honestly dont think about the fact that we are related. My wife is my special person, and I am hers. We keep our family business to ourselves due to protection for our children that are now teenagers, Both children do well in school and receive decent grades. This website helped me explain to my children that they are no different from any other children. I would not encourage or discourage anyone from marrying their first cousin, I believe it’s a matter of personal preference and understanding the repercussions with family if it doesn’t work out. Thanks again to this website for presenting needed facts about cousin marriage early in our relationship.
  13. 3 points
    LadyC was so much more calm than I was when I first read this. I'll have to give her major kudos for having much wisdom to see this through the right eyes. Okay, Ku, here goes: She's right. Sex is not a sport and if you treat it like one, you'll eventually have major regrets... and the ladies who play it with you will have even bigger regrets that none of you can see right now. Now, that aside, let's just suppose that my moral judgment on the matter didn't actually exist or have any basis in reality. Even so, as LadyC point out, sex with your cousin, whether for casual fun or as part of a serious relationship should be entered into with a lot more consideration than anyone else. A girlfriend, "hookup", fling, or whatever can be here today, gone tomorrow, and if you can both pretend there is nothing left over afterward (and if no children come to remind you) - well, that's all well and good and you can just pretend you never met. Not so with a cousin. She'll be part of your life until one of you is dead (and then some). There's just no way around that. Ten years later, you're both married and have kids and it's time for the larger family to get together for a holiday, funeral, or wedding. Guess what? You're both going to be there (or avoiding it because the other might be there) and you'll have to look each other in the eyes and know. Your future wife will know or may find out. Awkward. Trust? Nope. She won't have you spending a minute alone together and with good reason. Just. Don't.
  14. 3 points
    you don't. he either feels the same or he doesn't. you don't say if he is also gay or not. but i have to tell ya, fast heartbeat and sweaty does not mean "love". it means lust. there is a huge difference between the two.
  15. 3 points
    Fourth Cousin? I don't even KNOW any of my fourth cousins!! There is NO prohibition against fourth cousins that I've ever heard of. You are being abused by a bunch of bullies. Don't let them control your lives. I'd tell them to take a long walk off a short pier and mind their own business. I recommend a book that helps you deal positively with bullies: NASTY PEOPLE: HOW TO STOP BEING HURT BY THEM WITHOUT STOOPING TO THEIR LEVEL by Dr. Jay Carter. Welcome to our group. We are here to give you support and encourage you. HUGS Nat
  16. 3 points
    This whole thing is creepy. Either make a move or don't. So, she hasn't returned any of your advances and is ignoring your texts. Do you really need someone to tell you that she's not interested? And in the future, try to be more of a gentleman. You may find women more receptive to you if you do.
  17. 3 points
    I'm not sure if it's appropriate for this forum, or even this site, so I apologise if this post content is deemed unsuitable and I welcome the moderator or site controller to remove it...... Intimacy The level of intimacy in the bedroom (& other places) that we enjoy and love is so far beyond anything either of us has experienced before, it's difficult to put into worlds. The incredibly strong emotional connection we feel is enhanced and intensified when we are physically intimate. I would say we are normal in terms of the activities but the joy, satisfication, mental, emotional and physical connection is nothing short of amazing (and oh so satisfying for us both) I'm not sure if this is a result of being first cousins or being in our early 30's with a little prior experience before we got together or whether it's a male/female attraction of the greatest intensity without the cousin factor but I do know we are amazing together ..... mentally, emotionally and physicall. On every possible level we are soulmates.
  18. 3 points
    Hmm. Well, I'm sure mine is buried in these pages somewhere but I'm too lazy to go look for it. Here are the highlights: We've known one another most of our lives but grew up in separate states. I developed a bit of a small crush on her when we were young teens but our "romantic" relationship happened quite accidentally when we were young adults (18 and 20). The vast majority of our family was absolutely opposed. A few came around quickly, a few took some time, and some are no longer in our lives. Not the outcome we'd hoped for but we learned we can't (and shouldn't try to) control other people's decisions any more than we should be beholden to their's. We've been married over 20 years. We have two kids, both absolutely amazing, beautiful, brilliant, and in perfect health; both graduated high school with honors and both are currently on the Dean's List at a major private university where they attend with the help of some academic scholarships (I guess that takes care of the "feeble minded" myth of the Eugenics movement). Hope this helps! Best wishes, CM
  19. 2 points
    Oh, no, nothing to be sorry about. My beloved and I are engaged to be married this coming August. 🙂
  20. 2 points
    May I be frank, Frank? I realize that I am not answering your question but there is an elephant in the room. I think you are playing with fire. What you are pursuing is just as dangerous as smoking a little crack cocaine "just on the weekends." In the end, you may very well lose everything, and over what? A girl who has already rejected you once before. Let's say that you are just wanting a one night stand. Even with that, things can get out of control very quickly. You can't win this one, Frank. When the chandelier crashes to the floor, there is no putting the pieces back together. Think and look out for yourself; nobody else is going to.
  21. 2 points
    Well Boss - did I babble enough to you tonight???? Stop your whining and TAKE A TRIP LOL HUGS
  22. 2 points
    I was very scared when I found out I was pregnant with my first cousins baby. I was so afraid I would give birth to a baby who had defects. After discussing with my Dr. about why I was concerned about the pregnancy, he told me, I could have a normal & healthy baby like any other woman. He did the normal tests that you get done while being pregnant and everything was fine in my case. I gave birth to a very healthy 8lb 3.5 oz baby boy. To this day, we have a normal, healthy 40 year old. :-) I would suggest you talk with your Dr. first and see what he/she thinks. I am quite sure blood tests can provide the information needed so, you can decide what course of action you and your cousin should take with having a child. Wishing you all the best.
  23. 2 points
    My Dad broke my cousin-love and I up, decades ago. As much as I was in-love with my cousin, I couldn't believe that he was in-love with me, and I was terrified of his rejection, so I never said anything to him after my Dad broke us up. Seven years later I married someone else, but my cousin-love was never out of my heart. My family and my cousin's family acted like they were in the right, and I had no say in it. I grew up psychologically and emotionally abused and was use to not having a voice in my family about much of anything, so speaking up didn't seem like an option. Not being able to speak about my feelings for my cousin with my family or anyone else though, was difficult, and finding this site in 2004 meant I could finally start speaking of my cousin-romance. Seven years after my Dad broke us up, and 3 months after my wedding, my cousin-love died of cancer. I've lived 34 years now without him. It never occurred to me to blame my Dad or my family for splitting us up, because I know they were just doing what they thought was right. I did not have the emotional/psychological strength to fight back anyways, and I never did. My cousin-love never fought back either in the 7 years before he died. But there is hope. I hope to be with my cousin-love once I die, and I've had many supernatural experiences with him since he died 34 ago. I've realized that whether you marry your cousin-love or not, you always have to deal with the fact that you are cousins, in a society that is against cousin-marriage. It can make any cousin-marriage difficult. Just a few thoughts on the matter ... sorry for your difficulties cadbury Take Care Ambra
  24. 2 points
    UPDATE Well, it happened. After a long journey, after being there for her, supporting her, tending to her needs, and showing her she could rely on me, she finally told me that she loved me. It was small at first. When I had finished spending the one night at her place, I put my arms around her, kissed her on the forehead, and I told her that I loved her. She responded back with a barely audible, really timid, "love you too". I couldn't believe my ears, but she said it. For the first time, she said it. She said the magic words I've been dying to hear. As the days went by, I gave her the space and time she needed to examine her feelings, and her confidence grew. Soon it was naturally coming from her mouth, those three little words, "I love you.". I get texts all the time now, I'm spending a lot more time with her, she stood up for me when her one friend was running me down, it's crazy to think that everything I dreamed about was coming true. I then wrote her an honest to goodness love letter where I completely bared my heart and soul on paper and told her how much she meant to me and how much I loved her. A few days later after she read the letter, we made love for the first time. Without getting too graphic, the first time was awkward, nervous, anxious... we had to learn each other's rhythm and find out what each other's needs were... then we had to face the huge taboo of "Ooh, what are we about to do!" The first time wasn't magic, no. Definitely not. Around about the third or fifth time however, it was pure bliss and she is honestly the best lover I ever had. She drives me CRAZY! She says I satisfy her and so far, she's always smiling afterwards lol So I guess I'm doing something right ? We have successfully transitioned from cousins to lovers. We don't act like cousins anymore, instead, we act like a couple. Our next goal is to have a long and healthy relationship, and my own personal goal? I want to marry her. My state does allow cousins to marry, and after some time together, I fully intend to propose and make her my wife, if she'll have me. There is the huge question about what to tell the members of our family. To be honest? There already has been some talk. A lot of gossip has been made by what I'm doing over at her place all the time, why am I always buying her stuff, why is she so happy when I'm near, why we both stopped dating people... yeah, it's not exactly a top top secret. I honestly don't know what's going to happen when we "come out" so to speak. I know there will be fallout and I'm prepared to face the worst, which could end up being pretty bad. I'm fully expecting us to be disowned. We told some of our friends, and some of our friends were very understanding and supportive, and some laughed and said it was gross. At the end of the day, we still have each other, and that's enough for us. To any reading this, I have this to offer if you too are in love with your cousin: If you love them, if you really, really, love them... don't ever give up. Never fail to spend time with them, show them attention, prove you'll be there through good times and bad, shower them with affection and praise, always build them up, become their best friend first, then maybe... slowly... begin to show them just how much you feel about them. Give them time, space, and room to grow, and if it's meant to be, and if they feel anything for you, even if it's only the tiniest spark? You just might be surprised at where it leads.
  25. 2 points
    Well, my idea of fun is a bit "different": I have filed to be a candidate for a local election! Never, in my wildest dreams, did I ever think of doing that! LOL HUGS
  26. 2 points
    @LadyC that’s so funny! I have to admit, I read your story and was floored. Our stories are very similar. The time apart, the prayer, everything. It felt so refreshing and a lot less lonely. I am so thankful for this site. I have never had a Facebook account or anything like this before. I am glad I took a chance. I am thankful for everyone on here.❤️
  27. 2 points
    honestly, i'm stumped on this one. i have a hard time believing that she doesn't have some other reason to break up that she's not telling you. after 8 years, the 'new' has worn off and it's looking like greener pastures elsewhere. maybe not, but that sounds more reasonable. because after 8 years, if your relationship was that strong and the love was that solid, she'd be ready to tell everybody else to get over it or get lost. i'm not buying this 'i don't want to split the family apart and they'll never accept it'. BULL. everybody thinks that. the truth is, after running this site for nearly 20 years, there is rarely NO support in the family once the truth comes out... and most often there is a lot more support than the couple ever thought there would be. in two decades, i can't even count the number of couples whose families did not eventually accept it (once they determined that emotional blackmail would not work) on one hand. i'm being totally sincere here. i can only recall two, possibly three that became totally cut off from their family. at least one of those couples is still together (and still estranged from family) many years later, and have no regrets. i don't know about the other two. so if after 8 years she's breaking up because she's afraid of hurting the family, then that means one thing... YOU are not that important to her. YOUR feelings are irrelevant. she's not willing to stand up to her family and fight for you? then you deserve better.
  28. 2 points
    "Be a jerk to her" Come on Pooch do you really think advising some one to be a jerk is really good advice? I would hate to think if that was my cousin looking for advice I would have to wonder or worry that some stranger on a website was telling him to treat me bad and act like a jerk. Just because there have been people in her past that acted that way is no reason the OP should do it. Maybe , just maybe, by being himself and "non- jerky" he will still have a chance with her. And I hope that for goodness sake his plan isn't just to get her "between the sheets".
  29. 2 points
    and I'm almost as old as the site - GIGGLE!!!!!! HUGS BAT
  30. 2 points
    Murder should be the last resort, not divorce. Kidding! Kidding! The reason some couples stay married for 50 years isn't because they are so compatible but because they have lived through total crap together. The problem here is that his wife is continuing to hold on to this inappropriate relationship. There appears to be nothing left to do except lace up the walking shoes.
  31. 2 points
    hi elie if you two have a child together, only the nearest kinship would be applicable. so he (or she) would simply be your child... and your cousin's child. the answer you're looking for would be first cousin twice removed... but like i said, that relationship is not one that would be counted or considered for any purpose other than curiosity's sake. but your child isn't going to be a freak show in a traveling circus, so that's just useless information! if you two get married, his dad will be your father-in-law. the fact that he's also your first cousin once removed is irrelevant. your family dynamic has changed. for the record, i'm also married to my first cousin once removed. his dad is my first cousin. we've been married for 19 years... i never could wrap my head around calling him "dad", so i just call him by his first name. but then again, i never called my in-laws from my previous (unrelated) marriage mom or dad either. your child would only considered the 'grandchild' of your parents and your cousin's. likewise, your child would only be the niece or nephew to any of your siblings or your cousin's... no need to count the generations and try to sort out the degrees of kinship or who is once, twiced, or not-at-all removed. always remember the nearest degree is the only one that counts. so the relational stuff would be exactly as it would be if the father were not related to you at all. hope that helped!
  32. 2 points
    If kindness were a sign, then I would have a crush on everyone I meet.
  33. 2 points
    do you really want honest opinions? because most people really don't. but here it is, i'll give it to you straight. you should slow way, way down. you're 16 years old (or close to it) for crying out loud! all those raging hormones that you're feeling are going to drive you (or her) straight to heartbreak ridge. it's virtually impossible at your ages to have a sexual relationship without it getting all tangled up in a web of emotion. sex isn't a sport, and having sex with a cousin is nothing you should take lightly. don't you think she deserves better than to be your playmate?
  34. 2 points
    he can't do that. he can tell her he thinks someone is bad news but ultimately, he has to let her make her own decisions... even bad ones. i'm a girl. an old one now, but nonetheless i'm a girl, and i can tell you that any good guy who tries to interfere with a girl's attraction to a bad boy is going to lose the girl completely. besides, if he's in love with the girl there will never be anyone else that he thinks is good enough for her. better to just be there to pick up the pieces.
  35. 2 points
    With her being in a relationship, she may not want to be that close with you, even through texting. Her attention is probably focused on her present interest. Don't take it wrong, just be in there if she needs you. She knows how you feel/felt and may not want to unintentionally lead you to think there may be more in store for a relationship with you. She may never be in the place that she feels she could return any romantic feelings. Are you prepared for the event that you may never be that close again? Best wishes on your journey.
  36. 2 points
    Hi Sir Pooch! Sorry for the late reply hehe kala ko po kasi wala ng active dito kaya di ko siya naccheck daily. Napadpad po ako dito kasi curious po ako kung may mga ibang cases katulad ng akin at syempre gusto ko din po ma inspired sa mga sucessful stories nila. Yes sir bale 5 months na po this december. For your 1st question po, nag break po kami kasi napuno na po ako nun eh bale nahuli ko po siya. Nakakita po ako ng photo na halos magkiss na sila nung bakla niyang ka work na napag-awayan na din namin dito at inaway din ako. Haha di ko alam kung ano meron sa kanila pero i don’t care na po haha tapos kasi since almost years na kami nun parang nagtatagal na lang kami kasi nanghihinayang kami na matagal na kami. Madaming beses niya na din po ako pinagsinungalingan at nahuhuli ko po siya na may kalandian minsan ang masakit pa dun may mga asawa na. Kaya ayun nauntog na ako sabi ko tama na. Di naman po ako nagpaligaw agad agad bale parang nirespeto pa din ni L yung fresh ako from break up basta nandyan lang siya di niya ako pinepressure na maging kami. Tsaka ayoko po maging unfair din sa kanya. Mas naging malalim po yun samahan namin mga Late Feb or March na parang nahuhulog na ako sa kanya nanaman kasi napakabait niya talaga as in lalo na saakin kahit dati pa nung childhood/ puppy love days pa lang kaya di po nakakapagtaka na naging kami agad haha ayaw ko na din po siya pakawalan kasi sobrang mahal ko na siya at alam ko ganun din po siya.
  37. 2 points
    Walk away. Run away. Don't come near her. Don't be alone with her. Don't call or text or chat on social media. Block her phone number. Delete her phone number. Unfriend her on FB. Snapchat, and Twitter. Be mature and just don't.
  38. 2 points
    This is a difficult subject for me to answer without all up in arms because it gets me a little angry, to be honest. Everywhere you have the gay pride flag waving around...and gay marriage, to my knowledge, has never been legal in US history until a few years ago for everywhere. You have pedophilia that's trying to gain acceptance and there are people/groups that will actually defend pedophilia, saying Pedophiles are just like the LGBT in wanting to love who they love...*eyeroll* Then you have cousins....cousin couples were actually in the bible! Unlike Pedophilia....it's not sexually exploiting and taking advantage of children.....yet it's still looked at as disgusting and vile? Pedophilia's still looked at as disgusting and vile...and it's still against the law, which it always was and always should be. Polygamy and open relationships are celebrated. These are different groups trying to fight for the right and privilege to love and be accepted for who they love(Pedophilia never will, it just can't fly) Why can't that be cousin couples again? At one point in history, it was legal all over the US....but at some point down the line, states started making it illegal...I guess out of concern for how future generations would turn out. It just irks me though....why are is the LGBT being made legal and...well, I don't know what to say about pedophilia....and cousin couples are still looked at by the social circle, the media and legally as 'ick'? To me, this is so unfair....I have trouble comprehending it. So, to answer your question KC...I don't think so. For some reason, the western culture still considers this taboo and seem like they don't even want to acknowledge it or treat it like any other issue. It has to be hush hush and kept under the rug like it's something to be ashamed of.
  39. 2 points
    I will most definitely keep you both in my thoughts and prayers ❤ Sounds to me your family has a lot of growing up to do
  40. 2 points
    Sorry Lady C I jinxed the site lol ? If you care for her even in the slightest then hit a bar and try your luck there. Cousin relationships are already stigmatized and complicated enough, you shouldn't use anyone for sex especially family!!
  41. 2 points
    spare her the misery if you just want to get physical. at this age, i can promise you that there is more of a chance of a snowball fight in hell than of her wanting casual sex. if you think she may be wanting some type of relationship, then trust your instincts... the key word there is relationship. if that's not something that is first and foremost in your mind as well, then pass on by.
  42. 2 points
    I get that this is rough right now but the two people you are being snippy with are administrators. Lady C has been married to her 1c1r for I believe longer than you've been alive, same with Colorado married, though I believe he's married to his first cousin. Humor can be helpful to some by taking their mind off the situation for a bit, she was being playful not rude ? All that being said, this is a vast group, you may very well get advise you really don't like or possibly people who just jump in with out addressing what you've wrote at all, try not to get to worked up about it. Not pursuing anything right now is probably the best bet in my opinion. As Colorado said and I pointed out in two of my responses, this isn't just any relationship. I started mine with my cousin when I was 24 and though I didn't get much "backlash" I still got ear fulls of people thinking they knew what's best for my life, which again like Colorado said is a lot harder to deal with when you're a teen. Hope you guys will still be great friends and who knows maybe some day something may happen.
  43. 2 points
    That's cute. To say LadyC was "strawmanning" is to assume she was arguing in the first place; she was not. No one can possibly tell you what another person may or may not feel for you except that person but given your story, I'd say she does quite fancy you in at least one way. Having been 15 for about a year of my life (though admittedly many years ago), I'll just reiterate what every other person of age and relative wisdom has- yeah, it's hormones as the greatest driver. Whether not you agree with that is irrelevant; the tendency of the age is to disagree with that. It's a lot harder to understand the situation you're smack inside of. Finally, to the point of problems you may or may not be seeing, I'll grant this: relationships of our youth tend to be very rocky and short-lived. They feel like blessed eternity while we're going through them but then end rather suddenly. Its just the reality of "teen romance", or what my grandmother called "puppy love". With that in mind and fully understanding that relationships tend to go sexual a lot faster now than, say, 30 years ago, understand that such a relationship going south with a cousin in your teens can forever change your family dynamic. Even if everything is kittens and roses, at 15 (and 16 and 17) your parents and her parents get a veto vote on everything you do, including dating. If any find out and disagree (and at least one is bound to), all hell can break loose in the family, creating drama that lasts years and spreads into places where uncles and aunts and cousins you didn't even know exist will come out from under the woodwork just to tell you (and her) how wrong you are and often using most colorful language to do so. Just a heads up that you may want to prepare for.
  44. 2 points
    hawk is a very wise person. 12 is also too young! ahhh, those nasty hormones. they always interfere with common sense! and haha, of COURSE we know how a 15 year old works! LOL what cracks me up is how 15 year olds (and 25 year olds) always think that us old fogies don't know a darn thing about ______ (fill in the blank with nearly any topic you can think of). dude! we know! we know because we've survived it! and our children have survived it! and in some cases our grandchildren have survived it... although my grandchildren haven't started through that quite yet. one of them will in a year or two though! we also know that kids don't listen to us old farts. it's some crazy human nature that makes us all think that our own generation is the one to invent (or re-invent) the wheel. or to be more on target, to invent sex. LOL yeah, crazy, huh? that's ok, we thought the same thing about our parents generation. when i was your age, my parents were stupid and couldn't possibly understand diddly squat. here's a funny for ya. just because i'm in that kind of mood tonight. my oldest daughter was sneaking out her window and having sex at the age of 13. she eventually grew up and married him (it lasted almost a year before she divorced him). recently i ran into him. he has a 14 year old daughter who is becoming a little boy crazy. this guy was telling me how he wants to stand guard with a shotgun, because she's way too young for that. and my response was.... "SAYS THE GUY...." and then he got embarrassed and ducked his head and said oh yeah. i was that guy, wasn't i? YUP. moral of the story is that we all grow up and suddenly realize just how stupid we were when we were our kids age... and how right our parents were. i don't really have any advice tonight. it's late. my husband (who is my first cousin once removed) has already gone to sleep. i should go lay down next to him and play with games on my cell phone. why did i stay up again? oh yeah, because he's the old fart that has to get up before dawn to go to work, and i'm the old fart that gets to sleep in until my grandsons wake up and start bouncing off the walls. everybody's working for the weekend.... (look it up on youtube. good song.)
  45. 2 points
    I on the other hand have to disagree with Sophia. No hard feelings intended. My take on the situation is that you make yourself available as a friend. An ear to listen if she needs it . Since she has just experienced a broken engagement, regardless of who broke it, she may need time to get over it. And usually "rebound" relationships rarely end up being something long lasting, I feel you may gain more by the friendship route at this time. No need to profess your long love for her yet. Give her the time she needs and who knows what might happen. Best wishes on your journey.
  46. 2 points
    maybe you could start with something like 'if we weren't cousins, i think i'd kiss you' or 'like "hey, weird thing, i read that the catholic encyclopedia says that joseph and mary were cousins!' (or that benjamin bunny and flopsy were cousins... it says so on the first page of the beloved children's classic by beatrix potter) and see where the conversation leads ya. or rent a movie like mansfield park, a classic and fun romance between cousins by jane austen. or something a little more tragic, like how i live now. it's a beautiful but very sad wwII era love story between first cousins. keep in mind that 2nd cousins are not prohibited from even marrying, anywhere in the world. there is no reason to fear anything other than fear itself.
  47. 2 points
    Guest 1st Cousins: Some advice is more appropriate for young people than for adults. Your poor use of punctuation and your reference to a "tongue kiss" makes us believe that you are a teenager or younger. If English is not your 1st language, fine, we can accomodate. But when another member tries to gain more information for you in order to give you the most beneficial advice, your response should be gratitude and not defensiveness. If you want the best advice, give more information about yourself. Age, cultural differences and religious beliefs are sometimes important factors. If you don't want the best advice, then go elsewhere. But I guarantee you will not find more caring, compassionate and even wise members anywhere else. And stop changing your User Name.
  48. 2 points
    your fears are so normal! and so are his! please don't give any more thought to aborting your child. whether your cousin sticks around or not, that little thing growing inside you is your BABY! i remember years ago... my youngest daughter was barely 17 and pregnant. she'd never in her life considered abortion until she thought about how i would react to her getting knocked up. and until she thought about what her boyfriend's parents would say. and about having to finish high school pregnant. and about trading in her dream of college for one of being a stay at home mom. for the record, i didn't want her to compound her mistake by marrying the guy. seriously, i hated that disrespectful, foul mouthed selfish punk. he wasn't even allowed in our home. (which is why my daughter left and moved in with her dad nearly a year earlier.) it was her sister who called me and told me, so that i would call and talk her out of the abortion. that baby, my oldest grandson, will be eleven years old next month. he has a brother who will be turning 8 in a couple of weeks, and a sister that just turned two. and that guy i didn't want her to marry? he grew up and became pretty great husband and dad. love your baby more than you fear their reaction. THEY will come around.
  49. 2 points
    Hi, share lang ako background, married kami first cousin ilang buwan na, may baby na kami 1month old. Ganyan din ginawa namin inabot, kami ng 4 years hanggang naging ganito. Ako yung guy, tapos sya parati nakikipagbreak pero hindi rin ako matiis, haha. Advise ko alamin mo kung ano talagang rason nya kasi kung ang rason talaga nya na maghiwalay ay dahil magpinsan kayo, magagawan pa yan ng paraan kelangan lang may mag take ng lead. Pagmay love parati yan may paraan. Sayang 5 years of memories kung maghiwalay pero massayang pagdagdagan mo pa ng years tapos mali din reason nya kung bakit kayo magBF/GF. Emphasize ko ha, alamin ang totoong rason, pagmali immediately layuan mo, masasayang oras mo when you could be really happy.
  50. 2 points
    several months ago, the staff discussed posting the ToS on the board. it's always been a part of the registration page that everyone must sign, but who really reads the stuff they agree to anyway? besides, there was some stuff that wasn't covered in it, and at the time we discussed it, all of the staff contributed suggestions on what needed to be included. i'm posting the ammended ToS below. you might each want to familiarize yourself with it.
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