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Showing content with the highest reputation since 08/15/2019 in all areas

  1. 3 points
    This is a post I've been meaning to write for a while, because I see so many people struggling with their feelings, and with how the world will/is responding. And I too struggled for years, and thought the idea of being with my cousin was impossible, and thought that if we were together, if by some chance he felt about me the way I felt about him, things would be impossibly hard. We've been married for about two months now. At the very least, members of our family(ies) accept us, and some of them are very happy we're together. Our friends all know and accept us. We are very lucky, and our world is not going to be what everyone gets, but I've learned that there are some advantages to cousin relationships that most relationships don't have, and I want to share that, because I think a lot of you don't know that, and are scared and confused, and I want you to know that not only are cousin relationships NOT impossible, but there are some things that make them special. So, for one thing. If/when your family accepts your relationship, here's a big plus: you are both invested in the same people. When our mutual grandmother (she just turned 87 and lives by herself) needs help, we are both right there to do everything we can. If one of us is more available than the other, that person spends the night at her house. If she's not feeding herself right, we both remind her of that, and if one of us decides to buy her nutritional supplements out of our grocery fund, the other one is happy about that. This is our family. We take care of them, and we both know why, and we both agree on that. Related, if there is a disagreement in the family, we send in the one of us who is best positioned to handle it. So, my husband/cousin's mother's husband (no relation to either of us) emailed the family saying he thought we should all come together and force our grandmother (again, no relation of his) into assisted living. And we talked about how to respond, and in that case my husband/cousin handled it beautifully. And I'm the one who calls our grandmother at least once a week, and tells her we both love her, and checks in on how she's doing, because I'm better on the phone. All of the above is about family, which is really important. But the personal is even more important. My husband/cousin and I saw each other a couple of times a year when we were kids. We didn't see each other for about ten years from adolescence to adulthood. After that, we saw each other again about twice a year, until I moved close to him and things got complicated. But at that point, I already knew him. I'd known him my whole life. We always talked freely about our relationships to each other. I watched him be a father to another woman's three girls, who weren't his, until she made it impossible for him. I knew what he would be like in a relationship before I was ever with him. I knew his strengths, and his flaws, just as he knew mine. And I knew that his strengths were exactly what I needed, and I knew that I complimented his flaws. I walked into this relationship knowing exactly what I was walking into, and loving him for who he is. To me, that's the most powerful potential about a cousin relationship. That you can know the other person, so well, on other terms, before you become romantically involved or commit to them. That's not something most people get to have. Anyone who reads this and is struck by it, or anyone who is struggling with the possibility of a cousin relationship, please feel free to respond here, or to message me directly. And for those of you who are in happy cousin relationships: anything to add?
  2. 1 point
    Okay so i have feelings for my cousin. Shes 17 (about to turn 18 after 3 months) and i just turned 19. I felt that way for a long time but my feelings got pretty intense in the last few months so i planned to finally let her know about how i feel when she turns 18. But idk what happened to me and i just picked up my phone this night at 4 am lol and told her about how i feel. But she said that she doesn't feel that way and for the worse, she even said that she doesn't think it'll ever be possible. Getting this clear-cut reply obviously ended every hope in me. But the thing is, i always had a thought that she may have that feeling for me even if only in the smallest corner of her heart. Like when you interact with someone frequently, you sometimes get the idea about how they feel about you, or whatever. What do you think would be the reason? Personally after reading that she doesn't think it'll ever happen, i think she hates me or already likes someone else and thus she put the clear idea that she doesn't even want me to think it'll ever happen, which is worse than i ever expected. The problem right now is that my family's gonna meet hers after a week and we're gonna stay at their home for at least one night. Now i have no idea how i m gonna face her. Huhh now i realize that i shouldn't have told her, considering that we meet a lot and it'll make things really awkward now. I feel soo broken and terrible now. I wish i could control it just like i had been for a long time.. wish me luck 😥
  3. 1 point
    Words of wisdom - Pooch is the man! 👍 If she rejects you, who cares? Meet other women that are worthy of your love and attention and also returns the favor. She's not the only girl in the planet.
  4. 1 point
    An 8 year old who has a fabulous relationship with the father - the ex is going to lose!!!! There are going to be lots of people feeling very jealous of your happiness and some of them may be relatives. LOL So please keep us aware of how things are going. HUGS Nat
  5. 1 point
    First of all - take several very deep breaths and RELAX! This is a new relationship and you need to take time to figure it all out. You aren't teens so you can make your own decisions. If the families have problems they are their problems - not yours. The one thing that is most important, in my opinion, is his small child. How old is the child? That problem can be handled as well. Don't give in to fear and risk losing happiness. We are here to support and encourage you. HUGS Nat
  6. 1 point
    Hubby and I, second cousins, are very happy. Married over15 years, retired for over 4, and having a great time traveling wherever we want in our RV! Life is good!
  7. 1 point
    mark and i are first cousins once removed. we will be celebrating our 21st wedding anniversary on new year's day. yes, we're still happy... it's kinda like fine wine i guess, the more we age, the better we get
  8. 1 point
    Read information on this website about how to deal with relatives about your cousin-marriage, and see if that helps. There are items posted at the top of some of the forums that you might find useful, as well as other places on the website. Good luck.
  9. 1 point
    Learn the cousin-marriage facts as on this website, and show them to him. Tell him that God is okay with cousin-marriage, as noted in the Book of Leviticus. Huggsss to you, I know it's hard. Hang in there. Ambra
  10. 1 point
    Wow that is uncomfortable. Shouldn't your sister have warned you before inviting someone like that over for 2 weeks? Ok, take a deep breath. Just don't make a fool of yourself. Don't get too friendly with the cuz. The ball is clearly in her court. Don't overthink anything; you will wear yourself out. Don't talk yourself into doing anything stupid. I doubt she feels any differently toward you now. I'm not certain that you can "heal" a chemistry that is simply not there as far as she is concerned. Grab a fishing pole, a shotgun and go camping/hunting next week.
  11. 1 point
    In the beginning, Google Chrome raised the bar on web browsers. They were the first one to come out with svg support and multi-threaded Javascript. I was on board with Chrome for a few years. However, given the nature of Google's business model (much like facebook's), they are the envy of intelligence agencies around the world. Read this. I have personally been moving away from all things Google for the past few years and I have found an excellent browser, Brave, (built by the guy who invented Javascript) which is excellent. It give the user precise control over intrusive ads, trackers and fingerprinting. You can also turn off scripts, but don't. If you need to turn off scripts, you are at the wrong website! It is also compatible with Google Chrome plugins (extensions) and it imports your bookmarks easily. It's Chrome without the spyware; in fact, it has the best security features built-in of any browser. The Brave Browser is based upon the same framework as Google Chrome or as I like to call it, Gugl Khrom. You can also get paid for browsing the web and even tip some of the websites that you visit often. It allows a few ads to slip through and actually pays you for your time. This is a much better business model than the free software like Google. If the software is free, then you are the product. Please give Brave a try. I've been using it for 3 months and I love it. Can you tell that I love this browser? Try it for a week. Be Brave.
  12. 1 point
    It is important to find out whether he has a girlfriend or not. That's the first step. After you find that out, come back here to update us and let us know. Pooch
  13. 1 point
    No no no... It will only be awkward if YOU make it awkward. Guys approach/not approach while girls accept/reject. Thats our job. Lol So it is just NORMAL that you told her your feelings.. No regrets man! You just did what yiu have to do rather than have those regrets in the future. Own it like a man and chuck it to your arsenal of experience. You did the right thing. Seriously! 😊 Approach the next cute girl you meet man, make friends with her and interact and be social and it will do you wonders, man. 😊 Pooch
  14. 1 point
    You wrote: "At a recent family reunion, I asked about the first wife and the coincidence in her having the same name as I do. This sent him off the rails , in a spitting nails fit of cruelty and rage, directed at me." I would be concerned about his reaction. I've known people who go nuts over a simple question. He may be a very abusive person, who does not communicate effectively. That should be your main concern. The rest of what you've written, just sounds like this is all your perspective, and none of it his perspective towards you. Going by what you've written, I would NOT pursue a relationship with him.
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