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  1. This is a post I've been meaning to write for a while, because I see so many people struggling with their feelings, and with how the world will/is responding. And I too struggled for years, and thought the idea of being with my cousin was impossible, and thought that if we were together, if by some chance he felt about me the way I felt about him, things would be impossibly hard. We've been married for about two months now. At the very least, members of our family(ies) accept us, and some of them are very happy we're together. Our friends all know and accept us. We are very lucky, and our
    10 points
  2. i drafted this years ago for others to use... edit it as you see fit. i'm stickying it so it doesn't get lost again. Dear Mom, I have something to tell you that is very important to me, but am having a difficult time knowing how to bring the subject up. I decided that writing it in a letter might make it easier. I have fallen in love with the most wonderful person. We share an incredible relationship. We know each other's every thought. We respect each other, understand each other, and give each other unconditional love and support. I have never felt so comfortable in a relati
    5 points
  3. Fourth Cousin? I don't even KNOW any of my fourth cousins!! There is NO prohibition against fourth cousins that I've ever heard of. You are being abused by a bunch of bullies. Don't let them control your lives. I'd tell them to take a long walk off a short pier and mind their own business. I recommend a book that helps you deal positively with bullies: NASTY PEOPLE: HOW TO STOP BEING HURT BY THEM WITHOUT STOOPING TO THEIR LEVEL by Dr. Jay Carter. Welcome to our group. We are here to give you support and encourage you. HUGS Nat
    3 points
  4. I was very scared when I found out I was pregnant with my first cousins baby. I was so afraid I would give birth to a baby who had defects. After discussing with my Dr. about why I was concerned about the pregnancy, he told me, I could have a normal & healthy baby like any other woman. He did the normal tests that you get done while being pregnant and everything was fine in my case. I gave birth to a very healthy 8lb 3.5 oz baby boy. To this day, we have a normal, healthy 40 year old. :-) I would suggest you talk with your Dr. first and see what he/she thinks. I am quite sure b
    2 points
  5. several months ago, the staff discussed posting the ToS on the board. it's always been a part of the registration page that everyone must sign, but who really reads the stuff they agree to anyway? besides, there was some stuff that wasn't covered in it, and at the time we discussed it, all of the staff contributed suggestions on what needed to be included. i'm posting the ammended ToS below. you might each want to familiarize yourself with it.
    2 points
  6. My advice is to immediately invite him to stay at your house! HUGS Nat
    2 points
  7. I feel Dr. Phil was very rude to this couple. I hope they are keeping strong, and anyone else Dr.phil discouraged.
    2 points
  8. An 8 year old who has a fabulous relationship with the father - the ex is going to lose!!!! There are going to be lots of people feeling very jealous of your happiness and some of them may be relatives. LOL So please keep us aware of how things are going. HUGS Nat
    2 points
  9. Hubby and I, second cousins, are very happy. Married over15 years, retired for over 4, and having a great time traveling wherever we want in our RV! Life is good!
    2 points
  10. No no no... It will only be awkward if YOU make it awkward. Guys approach/not approach while girls accept/reject. Thats our job. Lol So it is just NORMAL that you told her your feelings.. No regrets man! You just did what yiu have to do rather than have those regrets in the future. Own it like a man and chuck it to your arsenal of experience. You did the right thing. Seriously! ? Approach the next cute girl you meet man, make friends with her and interact and be social and it will do you wonders, man. ? Pooch
    2 points
  11. the thing is, he had the ability to have a genetic specialist on there, and he CHOSE instead to have someone who would give slanted and inaccurate information. that was not by accident. it was totally intentional.
    2 points
  12. What is it with you guys that just want to have sex with your cousin!!!! Do you not think enough of these young ladies to either have a REAL relationship with them and treat them as they should be treated or are you just STUPID enough to think that they think you are the BEST thing in the world to come their way??????? Honestly I may be old, but if I were either of your cousins I would kick you to the curb, and be HIGHLY insulted that you think so lowly of me! Maybe it is time to mature in your thinking, it isn't all about you.
    2 points
  13. personally, i think his behavior sounds kinda stalker-ish. if it's all just by text and social media, then i don't know what can be done. but if he bothers you in person or at your home or workplace, you might consider filing a restraining order.
    2 points
  14. How old are the two of you?? He sounds really young or maybe immature. All you can do is keep repeating that your aren't interested, don't waver or give in. You don't need to feel guilty that you don't love him. If his feelings are hurt that is for him to work through, not for you to feel guilty about.
    2 points
  15. We are heading to Arizona tomorrow, weather permitting in Amarillo!! Have a blessed and Happy New Year!! I will check in when I can.
    2 points
  16. Hey Zachary, personally, I was the exact same way. I was attracted to my second cousin from the second we first reconnected. He always acted as though he was attracted to me as well. But, when I found out we were cousins I completely shut the idea out of my head. I was scared. I was scared of what people would say. Scared of losing friends. Scared of how the family would react. It took me getting in a relationship, and getting engaged to that abusive piece of trash to finally came around. Charles gave me the courage to leave. He was always there for me. It took that expie
    2 points
  17. Well, my idea of fun is a bit "different": I have filed to be a candidate for a local election! Never, in my wildest dreams, did I ever think of doing that! LOL HUGS
    2 points
  18. We travel with our 5th wheel trailer. Visit places, family and friends on the way to where ever. Have been in Missouri for about 3 weeks. Visited the Clydesdale horse ranch, the WW1 memorial and museum in Kansas City and several other historical places in the area where we are. Heading back to Texas in a couple of days and will be at a lake for some r&r and some fishing!!
    2 points
  19. hi elie if you two have a child together, only the nearest kinship would be applicable. so he (or she) would simply be your child... and your cousin's child. the answer you're looking for would be first cousin twice removed... but like i said, that relationship is not one that would be counted or considered for any purpose other than curiosity's sake. but your child isn't going to be a freak show in a traveling circus, so that's just useless information! if you two get married, his dad will be your father-in-law. the fact that he's also your first cousin once removed is irrelevant. your
    2 points
  20. When we got married 16 years ago my wife and I decided we would try to do something we've never done, or go somewhere we've never been at least 3-4 times a year. We've taken vacations in D.C. , Idaho, an Alaskan cruise, and many other places.In February we went snowmobiling for the first time. Next weekend we're going to a Celtic festival. And whether we enjoy it or decide "Never again" the point is we are experiencing and sharing it together. There is so much to see and do in this world I'm sure you'll find something you'll both enjoy.
    2 points
  21. Hi Sir Pooch! Sorry for the late reply hehe kala ko po kasi wala ng active dito kaya di ko siya naccheck daily. Napadpad po ako dito kasi curious po ako kung may mga ibang cases katulad ng akin at syempre gusto ko din po ma inspired sa mga sucessful stories nila. Yes sir bale 5 months na po this december. For your 1st question po, nag break po kami kasi napuno na po ako nun eh bale nahuli ko po siya. Nakakita po ako ng photo na halos magkiss na sila nung bakla niyang ka work na napag-awayan na din namin dito at inaway din ako. Haha di ko alam kung ano meron sa kanila per
    2 points
  22. This is a difficult subject for me to answer without all up in arms because it gets me a little angry, to be honest. Everywhere you have the gay pride flag waving around...and gay marriage, to my knowledge, has never been legal in US history until a few years ago for everywhere. You have pedophilia that's trying to gain acceptance and there are people/groups that will actually defend pedophilia, saying Pedophiles are just like the LGBT in wanting to love who they love...*eyeroll* Then you have cousins....cousin couples were actually in the bible! Unlike Pedophilia....it's not sexually exploiti
    2 points
  23. I will most definitely keep you both in my thoughts and prayers ❤ Sounds to me your family has a lot of growing up to do
    2 points
  24. You will find nothing in the Bible against cousin relationships, God has blessed and encouraged those unions at least 6 times that I know of. If you are certain you are 4th cousins then you share about as much DNA as any unrelated couple and can as far as I know of marry anywhere you wish. You and your cousin are adults, your family gets no say in your relationship at all, did they ask you for permission when choosing their significant others? I know their judgment can be cruel but it is their problem not yours. Be with who makes you happy and if their verbal abuse continues cut them off,
    2 points
  25. Sorry Lady C I jinxed the site lol ? If you care for her even in the slightest then hit a bar and try your luck there. Cousin relationships are already stigmatized and complicated enough, you shouldn't use anyone for sex especially family!!
    2 points
  26. I will get back to you on this one very soon. Right now I am elbows deep and preparing a brisket for the smoker. I'm sure others will weigh in if they're available today also
    2 points
  27. spare her the misery if you just want to get physical. at this age, i can promise you that there is more of a chance of a snowball fight in hell than of her wanting casual sex. if you think she may be wanting some type of relationship, then trust your instincts... the key word there is relationship. if that's not something that is first and foremost in your mind as well, then pass on by.
    2 points
  28. Hi Roze, Unang-una sa lahat, welcome sa forum. Bibihira lang ang mga Pinoy dito kaya natutuwa naman ako na may isa pang naririto. Paano mo nalaman yung forum? Anyhow, to respond: 21 years old ka and siya naman ay 22. Anong ibig mong sabihin sa nagpahinga? Please be honest with us. After all, anonymous naman dito. Walang may kilala sa iyo. Pero isang bagay ang maipapayo ko sa iyo: Wag kang padalos-dalos, Roze. Mag-antay ka. Don't do anything kasi mas lulubha pa yang sitwasyon mo once na may gawin ka pang mali. Lahat ng tao nakatingin sa iyo at lahat ng mga mata nakatingin sa
    2 points
  29. Nagkausap na po kame, all we have to do now is earn. Thanks mga ka CC, and all couples out there, we can do this! FIght!
    2 points
  30. have you spent time personally studying scripture on the subject and getting real with God in prayer over this to seek His will? because if you have, and you have peace about this, then that's the only "opinion" that counts. and if those you go to church with know you to be sincere in your walk with God, then that should be enough for them. once upon a time we had a cafe press store for this site. we had a couple of cute little items that said "if God is our judge, the get out of His seat!"
    2 points
  31. here's the thing, too. and i don't know if your mom is a woman who lives her faith or just gives it lip service, so i'm not criticizing her specifically. but in general, people who don't stand up for God's law when it comes to other issues don't have the right to use the Bible to point fingers. especially since their fingers don't know what the Bible says to begin with.
    2 points
  32. LOL those next verses aren't examples. they are the definitive list defining close kin. but unfortunately getting people to change their minds and believe that is easier said than done.
    2 points
  33. You don't say a word to him. You're 14 and he's 20. And he's about to be married. And BTW, it was most inappropriate for him to give even a hint of attraction toward you. Wait 4 years and if you still have feelings for him and he is not married, come back here and we will steer you in the right direction.
    2 points
  34. Tell her, "If we were not cousins ..." and see how she responds!
    2 points
  35. Hi, share lang ako background, married kami first cousin ilang buwan na, may baby na kami 1month old. Ganyan din ginawa namin inabot, kami ng 4 years hanggang naging ganito. Ako yung guy, tapos sya parati nakikipagbreak pero hindi rin ako matiis, haha. Advise ko alamin mo kung ano talagang rason nya kasi kung ang rason talaga nya na maghiwalay ay dahil magpinsan kayo, magagawan pa yan ng paraan kelangan lang may mag take ng lead. Pagmay love parati yan may paraan. Sayang 5 years of memories kung maghiwalay pero massayang pagdagdagan mo pa ng years tapos mali din reason nya kung bakit kayo magB
    2 points
  36. According to Forbidden Relatives (in our store), miscarriages among cousins were lower then the general population. They assume it's because the parent't blood chemistry is more similar. Not too little or to much. Here is what I would do. Forget the doctors. Go see someone from the National Society of Genetic Counselors. They will look a little bit into your background and order the appropriate genetic tests. If I had the money I would do that. In the end they can only give you a percentage. What threshold would change your mind about having kids? What about a 10 percent chance of
    1 point
  37. They are bluffing. There is no grounds for "throwing you into a mental institute". As for the shunning - maybe they will. But you can't control their behavior. You are in a a pickle as far as financial aid goes. You can declare yourself independent from your family - if you want/can to go down that road. This is how I see things: You are willing to draw the line in the sand for a young man who is joining the military and whom you won't get to see very much over the next 4 years; you will have school obligations and he will have military obligations. If you were one of my da
    1 point
  38. We are second cousins, married 15 years. No problems with family, except for a few comments in fun. We just don't announce it to the world. It isn't any of business of others unless we want them to know. I'm not sure what you are struggling with, but if you have been married that long, something must be working. Did your families have any problem with your relationship? Personally speaking, you may be borrowing trouble where there is none. Because the Utah couple chose to be so public, doesn't mean you have too. Of course many of those cruel/mean comments tha
    1 point
  39. I see... Then its time for a stronger dosage. A harder "No stop it" that will repel him must be done. Otherwise he just wont stop because he couldn't stop. If we like a girl so much, I believe, we need those stronger dosage of rejection --- you know? Make it along the lines of "Hey, what the f---. I am sorry. Please stop. I already said "No" and that's my decision. Stop talking to me". A firm response like that will not drive him away though. But it will make him stop and will be repelled because you are stern this time. He will be afraid of losing you if he continues making
    1 point
  40. I think you fellas might be being a bit harsh here. Obviously there is additional risk in this kind of relationship at the onset that makes people unsure so all you need to add to that is a fairly moderate level of female insecurity and it gets hard to see the forest for the trees for most men. It’s not easy to put yourself out there like that and without being able to see a persons response it’s even harder. I’m imagining you are getting these declarations in emails and in a different time zone so by the time you read it, work through your own stuff and are ready to respond she’s panicked and
    1 point
  41. Honestly, just tell her how you feel. You will regret it if you don't act on your feelings. Most teenagers or even some people in their twenties get into relationships to explore their sexuality or even for appearances. Cousin love is one of the most intense feelings you can have. If you believe in Christianity, The Bible is also against incest relationships but it does not list cousins. I'm posting in this thread passionately because I feel like I can relate to your story pretty well. I told my second cousin I loved her when I was 17 and she was 18. Unfortunately she said I was
    1 point
  42. @ladyc, they are trying to see if they can post spam. Hey bums, you can't!
    1 point
  43. For those of you who are or have been openly in relationships with cousins: what reactions do people outside your family have when you tell them about your relationship? For us, it isn't something we announce to everyone, but eventually the "so how did you two meet?" question usually comes up with friends, and we're honest. I reply with something like "well, actually, we've known each other all of our lives. We're cousins." The reaction from that point on has been so similar with every exchange that I am curious about what others have experienced. This is my experience, basically word for
    1 point
  44. Hi ate kulasa, pooch and 9/9/2004 ok naman ako. Trying to keep busy. Rebuild my little life. Sinubukan naman niya bumawi. Pero this week wala ulit. Mahirap talaga pag andito parents nya. Ang hirap na pati pag punta ko ng malls kelangan ko magingat. Nanganak pala partner ng kapatid ko ngayon kaya mejo mixed feelings. Masaya kasi may pamangkin na ko. Malungkot kasi naiisip ko baka di ko na maexperience yung having a baby
    1 point
  45. She mentions that she wants to see you twice in a short conversation, she doesn't want you to buy her anything specifically (i.e., clearly not just interested in what you can do for her), and she says "I love you" first. Those are all good signs; she is clearly very fond of you. Definitely don't delay going to see her once you are feeling better! It sounds like she's in a tough situation, and that she wants you close. Whether or not she ever loves you the way you want, if you love her, you should absolutely be there for her. Keep us updated!
    1 point
  46. ahhh, i knew people would weigh in with some encouraging words! they're right. there is nothing in the bible that discourages or prohibits even first cousins from marrying. plenty that does indicate it's ok though. isaac and rebecca were first cousins once removed. jacob was first cousin to leah and rachel. God instructed moses to tell zelophehad's five orphan daughters to marry their first cousins. realistically, by the time you are further distant than second cousins, you might share a family tree, but you don't share any common DNA beyond what any random, unrelated couple would share.
    1 point
  47. 1 point
  48. Gud day CC Philippines, Mr retainer at lucksgjrl... Ako po c esmeralda almost 13 years n kami ng first cousin ko. Magkapatid ang nanay namin sk hindi kami magkaapelyido.. Ang ginawa namin kasi noong 2003 hindi p pwede sundin ng apelyido ng lalaki kapag nanganak ka n hindi pa kau kasal kaya ang nangyari sa bcert ng panganay namin prng blanko kang..ang ginawa namin nagpakasal kami sa manila city hall with out knowing ng judge na magpinsan kami. Araw ng kasal namin mdyo nakahalata ang judge kasi dw.magkatunog ang name ng nanay namin so nagtanong cya kong magpinsan kami alangan nman n oo sagot
    1 point
  49. Everything was exactly the way I had dreamed it would be. All of the dresses, the arrangements, the banquet hall where we had the reception, everything. The moment we kissed, I felt like I was lighter than air. We spent the night last night at home, but we're leaving for our honeymoon this evening. I'll try to get some photos up soon.
    1 point
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