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Everything posted by KC

  1. When your wife is chatting up another guy all day on messenger, it is not anywhere near normal. I can't see it even being normal in any possible parallel universe. Bro, don't make excuses for her behavior. She should be depressed. If you do not get rid of her, you are going to be depressed to the point of insanity. If your wife brought home another guy, took him to bed and told you to sleep on the couch, would that be ok? I'm just saying that it is fine to set boundaries as rigidly or as loosely as you like, but you have to set them. And when your wife goes beyond them, you pack her stuff up and set it by the curb. Don't sell yourself short. If your wife wants her cousin, buy her a$$ a one-way ticket to the other side of the world so she can be with him.
  2. The cousin is half way around the world; there is no need to sell the farm just yet. First, I will say that your wife is being so damn immature that it is apparently making me cuss outloud (wife is asking me why I am cussing). Your wife is being very hurtful to you. I wish I could give her some frank advice. Her indifference over the fate of her marriage is stunning. I would make it clear that this is an intolerable situation and that I was leaving if she ever installed messenger again. You have to have boundaries to have a healthy relationship and for your mental health. Set them, stick to them, and let the cards fall where they may. PS putting her phone in the oven on 400F overnight might make you feel a little better.
  3. KC

    My Story

    Good for you! It's not often we hear stories like this. It is possible that your cousin really doesn't remember. A gentleman would forget about the whole thing.
  4. A Celtic Festival? Very interesting.
  5. The question is, "what the heck should I do?" Man, you have it so easy since you have so much in common with your cousin. So call her and invite her to some musical event that can't be missed. See what happens. Don't be surprised if she doesn't feel the same way, but trust me, ladies know just how to make it clear that they are interested, even to the thickest nucklehead She may just be a song you can't get out of your head. I hope it is reciprocal; you will just have to investigate. Good luck.
  6. These are excellent ideas. I'll let you know what I choose.
  7. What do you guys do to have fun or for hobbies? I used to love to fish and prospect for gold. Fishing now seems a bit boring for a nondrinker. Also, I'm realizing, after 20-some years of marriage, how self-centered I am. I would especially like suggestions of things my wife might enjoy. Wife loves Rollercoasters. I believe in self-preservation. She does not hence a small dilemma. I'm thinking of taking her to one of those zip line outfits. Anyone done this? Also does a broken neck actually hurt as bad as it sounds?
  8. That was pretty brilliant LadyC. I suppose our greatest pearls of wisdom come from the darkest of times.
  9. Why did her dad die so young? Well you have opened yourself up pretty good. I say haha! with a very smug look on my face. Maybe it will go well or perhaps the police show up at 9am with a protection order or commitment papers. Let us know how it goes. I will send $10 to your commissary fund. I hate to be behind bars without any coffee. I'm actually a tea drinker but do you know how hard it is to find Darjeeling in the big house?
  10. Good I'm so glad you took it like that! We really want to be helpful. I wish you the best.
  11. PS I did not read Romalee's post before I responded.
  12. Hi Peaches This situation could find any of us, so I will not throw stones. I am a family guy who likes to think I have such clear boundaries. But we are only human, eh? If you want to salvage your marriage, you will block all communications from your cousin and leave it alone. You are playing with fire. Listen. Your cousin is the guy who never stood up for you, not even for a second. Your husband did. Your husband has invested everything in you and he deserves to be treated much better than this. I meet so many people who only want who they cannot have. Your cousin included. Maybe it is a game to him and he will not want you once your marriage is in tatters or beyond repair. Don't be a fool, peaches. You are acting like a 10 year old the first time a boy kissed you on the lips. The excitement will fade, as you know. I'm just afraid you will end up with nothing, and where will your kids be?
  13. You are right. It is not normal at all. It sure as hell doesn't sound normal to me. I am aware that in some cultures, maternal cousins are thought of as one's brother/sister. This is a cultural thing and not a genetic thing. Even so, the sleeping arrangements are highly inappropriate.
  14. I would be more worried if this was a child custody issue or estate issue. You can always move to another state. Can you return after you are married? You should pose that question to your attorney. Best of luck. I wish I could be more helpful.
  15. You are wise to consider what others may say. I'm almost certain that your immediate family will come around after you marry her. Mine did. Will there be some hurtful things said? You can count on it. On one hand, I do not think cousin marriages are for everyone... Obviously. If you are not willing to face the fire, do not do it. On the other hand you are 1c1r. That is distant enough that nobody should have a stroke. You are 20 years old now. You are facing a tricky transision period. It's when you become your own man. It doesn't mean marrying your cousin necessarily. It does, however, mean that you have to start making your own decisions even when they are tough. This transision, within itself, will bring about conflicts. I'm sure this is no big revelation to you. I will not push you either way. Although I married at 21, I wish I had waited. If you can wait, do that. You guys seem like babies! Lol and I know that isn't the case. Getting married so young does make higher education more difficult. Please keep us informed! And if you would like some help weighing the benefits of college with your occupational goals, we can chat about that. I don't want you guys living in a van down by the river!
  16. KC

    Mod approval

    Please do share your gofundme page. I'm sorry to hear of about your boyfriend's children. We are here to help each other. Sorry it took so long to respond. I've been without electricity for 3 days due to some tornados.
  17. Long distant relationships are especially tough. What do you want out of it exactly? Long distance inherently set limits to your relationship. You can't even enjoy a movie together. It's likely that one or both of you want more than a long distance relationship can offer. How far do you live from each other? Maybe you can both enroll at the same college and see what happens. Otherwise, you will have to resign yourself to a penpal like relationship, which will not last as you have already found out. To make it work, you would have to throw all caution to the wind and move closer to him in order to get to know him better.
  18. KC

    I need adivce

    Perhaps the most detrimental thing you can do for your baby is to worry yourself sick... and over nothing. Eat well, sleep well, and think well. Everything will be fine. The baby girl will be perfectly fine, you will see.
  19. Sorry to hear that Becca. These people really are that nasty; it has little to do with the fact that you are marrying your cousin. My motto is "forgive but never forget." Don't ever forget how they have treated you! As a "churchy" person myself, I know that religious people can sometimes be the most vicious, ignorant and hateful people on the planet. Jesus called some religious circles in His day "vipers." Watch where you step. Unfortunately, I have found that it does little good to argue with them. Distance works pretty well. Hold your head up high. Cousins have a lower chance of miscarriage than nonrelated couples, possibly because of having more similar chemistry (per Martin Ottenheimer). Finally, do not let anyone speak for God. He speaks for Himself, very clearly, in the Bible. He reveals Himself. Don't let the religious yahoos get you down, but pray for them.
  20. It sounds like the stars are aligned for you two. I would just point out that moving too slow can be worse than moving too fast. I'm not saying you should jump in bed with her tomorrow. I'm only saying that moving too slow may cause her to think you are not interested. And the kiss! The kiss should never be planned. It will come 100 percent natural and at the perfect time. I predict that it happens much sooner than you expect. When you are in love, you can only stay cool and keep it under wraps for so long. Being cool is so overrated
  21. Two couples, including wife and I were interviewed for this article. The other couple, unfortunately, decided to drop out and asked that their story not be included. The article still came together well. Let me know what you think! https://www.vice.com/en_au/article/zmg3aj/cousin-couples-talk-about-keeping-it-in-the-family
  22. KC

    Starting Over

    I have found out that us men can be happy alone! So, don't panic. Sometimes we need a break from a significant other. A break can bring clarity and even reset a relationship if you decide to get back together. So take some time man.
  23. Thanks for pointing this out. Pretty interesting from the perspective of a genealogist.
  24. It does sound like she has a thing for you. The question should be : what are you going to do about it? Or do you want to do anything at all. Life is not a rehearsal. You get one shot at this.
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