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    • KC

      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

      Be informed on better ways to stay safe on the web -- Source: Mozilla


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Everything posted by KC

  1. 4th Cousin Love

    No you do not tell others except your siblings. I'm not sure why you want to make an issue out of a non-issue. It is absolutely none of your acquaintances' business. Did they feel compelled to tell you they didn't marry a cousin? Did they ask for your advice before they married? Please. It is only an issue if you make it one. I have one friend who I have known since kindergarten. We practically spend our whole childhood together (up until we were in our 20's), like ALL of out free time together. I think it's very rare to have such a long term friendship. Trust me, this guy knew I married my cousin. Even so, it was very awkward to tell him. By this time he was already married with kids and a workaholic, so I wasn't seeing him very much at the time. When I did see him after I married, I remember stuttering and stammering a bit with the big news. Uh, there is no need for you to go through this. You are barely related! Honestly, there is nothing to tell or disclose. That is my best advice. My wife, on the other hand, was much more transparent. I think she did herself and us a disservice with that big mouth. I'm a fairly private person and that really made me livid (not embarrassed). To each their own I guess. You should be as transparent as you need to be to have a healthy relationship. You should talk to your cousin about it.
  2. 4th Cousin Love

    Welcome to cc.com! I completely understand your feelings, especially since I married not my 4th cuz, but my 1st cousin! I had to wrestle with the issues that you brought up, but I think you are indeed overreacting. Trust me, nobody is going to know that you are related unless you tell them. Genetically, 4th cousins have the same risk of having a child with a birth defect as random pairing. Frankly, I do not even consider you related. It really is a non-issue. We are all related, according to experts, no more distantly than 50th cousins. If you have found love with a 4th cousin, then you are very lucky. There is a theory out there that holds if you don't marry a cousin, you are looking for someone like your cousin (because we are looking for someone like ourselves - [i.e. positive assortative mating]). It means that you probably share similar religious beliefs, social-economic status and so on. Some even believe that cousins make the perfect mates since there is sometimes this inexplicable chemistry. Even 2nd, 3rd, 4th cousins could be even a more perfect match since there is almost no stigma attached to such marriages. So, I would say that you are very lucky; You could have found your perfect mate. You worry for nothing, now just stop it . Good luck to you!
  3. https://www.cousincouples.com/?page=states
  4. The dead south ( awesome band )

    Hey not bad! I'm not a huge fan of the banjo, but it is a nice departure from the mainstream. The arrangement could use some work, but I like anything different. Good luck to the band!
  5. Hi KC! I work with Jodi Friedman over at Sirens Media. She mentioned she contacted you regarding our upcoming television series about cousins who are romantically involved! I'm now helping her with this project and wanted your blessing to continue using the site as a resource to find couples who may be interested in participating. I was also wondering if you personally know of any couples who might be a good fit? The series aims to normalize any taboo that surrounds the idea of cousins being romantically involved. Specifically, we are looking for individuals who are in committed, stable relationships (dating or married). Any leads would be greatly appreciated! Many thanks, Pamela Vallarelli 212.564.2607 x2391 pvallarelli@sirensmedia.com
  6. Registration Email?

    I see. There is a contact us link at the bottom of the screen. That should work for everyone. To contact me personally: kc at cousincouples d_o_t com Our mail server is very slow. It's taking 2-3 mins for me to get mail out. Hmmm. I do not have a lot of control over that.
  7. Registration Email?

    If you have ever been banned from another IP Board installation, I think you are banned across every installation. That may not be the case. Some servers ban certain emails and marks them as spam; you just never get them at all. Just PM an admin your email address and we can activate it manually.
  8. Having children

    Remind your husband that over 80% of marriages historically have been between cousins (1st or 1c1r). In many places still today it is a preference to marry a cousin, after all, why would one want to marry a stranger (as their way of thinking goes). For 1st cousins, the risk of birth defects are equal to a prego woman in her 30's? Or is it 40? The INCREASED risk is 1.7 to 2.3 percent. You can double check on the info pages. Since you personally did not marry a cousin, your increased risk is almost nothing. The truth is that you could have a greater chance of birth defects by random pairing / marrying someone else. It is indeed a numbers game. Like a shuffled deck of cards or watching the lotto balls roll down the slot. In other words, nobody can give your a precise answer, only stats. Since you are already pregnant, it is a little late to even worry yourself for one second. Stress can only be a negative factor in your baby's development. I predict that there is nothing at all wrong with your baby. He will be above average and bring great joy to your family. You husband is being an ignorant little man for the time being. It will all pass.
  9. My story

    She could certainly like the attention, but still have no intention of getting into a relationship with a cousin. I would not take any of this as a sign that she is into me. You will have to bite the bullet, ask her out and confess your feelings for her. Flirting hasn't gotten you too far with her. Therefore, I would try the gentleman approach. So get cleaned up, turn on the charm, and make her say, "Where in the hell has he been all of my life!" Good luck with all of that We both may be in a fantasy world!
  10. Lust for cousin

    Tell her, "If we were not cousins ..." and see how she responds!
  11. You should treat your second cousin like any other potential mate. You are about as related as random pairing, so consanguinity is not a problem. I should say that genetics and outrage from others should not be a factor. The next question you have to ask yourself is, are you simply taking advantage of a cousin who has been nice to you? Where do you see this relationship going? How would things be different if you were not related?
  12. California Residency

    You may talk to a lawyer from CA. Off the top of my head, it seems that if you marry your cousin in Mexico, it should be easier to get her to the States. I would contact an immigration lawyer.
  13. Just a heads up: our TOS has been slightly modified. I will post the important changes below. It may be slightly offensive, but it is necessary, I'm afraid. [ Note from KC/Owner: I would like to make one point crystal clear: if you are a pedophile, you are at the wrong website. The moderators here have over 100 years of combined experience with computers and computer security. Some are experts. I can and will hunt you down and turn over all incriminating evidence to the police, any local gangs, post your information on public perv websites or worse. If you abuse children, I am your worst nightmare. That's my word. ]
  14. California Residency

    You would have to search their laws, but I'm guessing 6 months. If you move there and rent/own a home, you are golden. I wouldn't worry too much about it. You do not need to be a resident to marry your cousin there.
  15. Out of state marriage

    No, not unless you stay in Mexico. If you come back, then it is technically a felony. Everyone of you who live in Tx needs to be raising cain with your state representative until they change the law. The lawmakers had no clue that a particular child abuse bill would change the marriage laws. It was enacted and you guys have to do something about it. Be aware that if you write your rep, the letter may be public record and available to journalists. But do not be sissies. Write them anyway and write them often. Another great option is to write to some prominent political writers and tell them your story. If you can get the media behind you and to tell your story, this gets the lawmaker's attention quicker than anything else.
  16. Thanks for your question. On this website, and most forums, your password is encrypted in a way that it can't be decrypted. I can't read it. The login procedure can only compare the stored password with the newly encrypted copy of the one you provide. If they match, you are golden. In theory this is great. However, these days hackers have a database/dictionary that can decrypt many these encrypted passwords (they just match them up). Sites like Paypal and Bitcoin websites have 2 Factor Authentication (2FA). You enter you username/password and then enter a number from your cell phone. I think this is the direction we are heading with all websites of import... any banking website. My best advice is to use a password manager like LastPass, or StickyPassword. They can generate a unique password up to 30 some characters long. Hackers can't break this. If the website allows 2FA, you might turn it on. Be advised that it is a pain, esp if you loose your phone or change your number (or can't pay the bill!). This forum does not offer this feature at this time. I'm sure there is an addon if I looked. Make sure your password is not recycled (used somewhere else) --- just let the password manager create the password and you will be safe here. This forum will lock your account after so many failed password tries. The ten mill per second password trick will not work unless they can download the whole forum database. Even then it will not work with a good unique password. Again, they can only download your encrypted password. The answer is a password manager.
  17. I make $240 last night in 45 mins! I'm so happy that I could kiss the sky!

  18. Oh cool. I was afraid that I had the settings out of wack.

  19. Wazzz up peeps? Am I the only one who can use the update box?

  20. Getting Divorced

    Thank you for not taking offense! It's just that I feel my pending divorce ruined my life. I refer to my marriage as "my old life." Things are certainly different now. This is a new kind of normal. It's taken me a good year to get my bearings straight. I'm actually kinda liking the single life for now. So -- it really pains me to hear of someone divorcing for a frivolous reason. I mean if you were not a good cook or didn't know how to make grits, I could understand divorcing you in a New York minute. But to satisfy a mother-in-law? Are you kidding me? That woman has mental problems and you should not let her control your life. Do not give her one inch, and if the sister wants to write you guys off as well, so be it. I'm afraid that you two will never be happy until you rid yourselves of these vipers! Once they realize that they can no longer control your lives, they will come around and cease the nonsense. This holds true most of the time. I wish you luck, but please do not divorce to please anyone. You are kidding yourself if you think a divorce is just a little bump in the road. Your family unit is important and precious. You do not throw that away for anybody in the world. Good luck. I am praying for your family.
  21. Personality disordered cousin

    I hope you don't say in 10 years, "man, I wish I had listened to KC!" I hope it works out for you. The last I heard was my wife was living in a tent -- homeless. She chose that lifestyle and she is no longer my responsibility. I would be lying if I said I don't worry about her a bit. It is dangerous out there. But it is just too bad. I can't live the way she wants to live. I refuse. You need to set boundaries for HER and if she crosses them, get rid of her. Life is short bro. We don't have to put up with this crap. I understand the falling in love with the one girl thing, but it is all a mirage. There is no such thing as a soul mate IMHO. Good luck and I truly hope everything works out.
  22. Personality disordered cousin

    I'm sorry that I do not understand the black and white thing you were talking about; it went over my head. But yea, I do know about personality disorders and frankly, insanity. LOL. It runs on my cousin's side of the family, not mine. Her dad spent ten years in prison for burning houses down and attempted murder. He is a classic psychopath. I could go on. He once drug his own momma around the yard by the hair of her head. You decide if he is insane. I am certain these "disorders" are genetic. Fast forward --- I married his daughter. All I can tell you bro is that we have had trouble from day one. However, about 5 years ago, she started doing and saying very bizarre things. I would accuse her of being on the "pipe." She acted hopped up on something. Bizarre things led to even more bizarre things (and unforgivable things) until it was a living hell trying to stay with her. I'm a fairly private person, so I will shut up now. But not before I dispense some advice. My advice is sometime terse, concise and shocking so brace yourself. It is mitigated by my great wisdom, so here goes: Get the H-E-Double-L away from that woman! Pray that she goes back with her husband where she belongs. It will not be without lots of pain and agony, but you must put your own sanity first. We have 6 billion people on the planet, 3B females. You can do better my friend and I am afraid that you must.
  23. Getting Divorced

    If I may chime in, I would like to point out a few things. Don't take offense at anything please. I'm a straight shooter, and generally concise. First, if you are a Christian, your mother-in-law's disapproval is not a valid reason to divorce. If you are not a Christian, then I would say that it is just a dumb idea to divorce in order to "walk out of someone's life." Hold your head up high and just walk out. That woman is poison and neither you nor your husband need her in your lives. You have already married your cousin which tells me that you have ALREADY MADE THE DECISION. So stick with it. You will never be able to satisfy her, no matter what you do. Now you have your own family, incl children. It is time to be a family and do whatever it takes to preserve a healthy marriage. Your husband needs to grow some and be a man. He is acting like the biggest sissie I have ever hear of. It's his job to fight for his family and he is being a complete failure. He is a failure to you, your kids, and a failure to men everywhere. I had a lot of trouble with family when I married my cousin too, but I had to tell people, in so many words, to go %$#$ off. It's time to stand up for yourselves and quit playing this sick game.
  24. I'm just wondering

    Do us all a favor and don't have any kids. There is no rule that says you must!