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    • KC

      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

      Be informed on better ways to stay safe on the web -- Source: Mozilla

KC

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Everything posted by KC

  1. Oh boy, it does sound like your relationship is in real trouble. It makes you wonder what the heck is wrong with people, huh? Don't they not know that when the pieces break, sometimes there is just no putting them back together? Unfortunately, I know about the trust issue. It is no small detail. It is essential in any relationship. Without it, the relationship is simply over. So, there is your answer. You answered it yourself. Some people sabotage their relationships and I am not even sure they know why they are doing it. But that is not for you to figure out. You have to have some piece of mind. You are just going to have to put an end to this abuse and leave. And yes, it is abuse, the same as if he had busted you square in the mouth. Trust is something that can take 40 years to build and and be shattered in a minute. It doesn't sound like you can rebuilt this essential ingredient for your relationship to ever work again. FWI- you should have told the counselor to kiss your #$% and left immediately. I wish I had a penny for every quack counselor out there. I have given you a lot to think about, so I will stop here. I wish I had a magic bullet or at least some good news for you. Be strong. You have some hard decisions to make.
  2. I think there are two types of cheaters. One where two people end up getting too close, maybe a boss and secretary. The other kind is the serial cheater, who aren't good for anything except everlasting torment. You have to decide which one your cuz is! I can feel your pain and I'm very sorry you have to go through this. My personal opinion is that you should give the person another chance. One -- and that is it. You should make that crystal clear to him. You can get past this. A lot of marriages last so long, not because they had a perfect marriage, match made in heaven. They lasted so long because they stayed together even when things were unbearably difficult. It helps to talk it out. So feel free to talk to us. We are here for you.
  3. You are just kids. Enjoy your youth and stop worrying about such silly things.
  4. I just added a fun (I hope) board called "Questions and Answers." The answers will be rated until the best answer is found. The forum software supports this feature and I thought we would at least try it out! So please go participate!
  5. Question and Answers Forum

    The Old Timers forum is back, but nobody has enough posts to qualify! We lost a bunch of messages somewhere. If you were in the Old Timers' forum on the old board, drop me a PM! I will change your posts to meet the requirements.
  6. You should register because all guest posts must be approved by a moderator. We generally quickly scan your post and do not give you the benefit of the doubt. I (KC) delete posts almost as often as I approve them. (Anything about sex and I just assume the worst.) You have a 50/50 shot as a non-member to getting your message posted if there are links or sexual talk or any reason I can find to delete it. This is a quick guide to becoming a member here, and how to ensure your anonymity while registering here, or on any public forum. I am not trying to scare anyone or discourage anyone from becoming a member. On the contrary, I want you to register as a member here, but I would also like you to be an informed member, indeed an informed Netizen -- a citizen of the web. In general, it is a good idea to stay fairly anonymous on public forums because these forums are "crawled" by search engines. Everything you post will be captured by Google et al. (except for private messages). Thus, if you use your real name to post on a forum, anyone may search your name and come up with every post you have ever made on every website, including cousincouples.com. Google will now even capture your avatar. If you use a real picture of yourself, it may show up with a Google search as well. So, make up a "pen name" for your registration and upload an avatar that is not your real picture. Of course, we do have members here who use their real names and real pictures. That is good and fine, but this is a guide for those interested in staying anonymous. Please keep in mind that you should assume that everything you post, even on Facebook will be permanently stored somewhere. Certain government agencies probably copy and store every bit of this information before the actual website you are sending it to gets it. So, it doesn't matter if you delete a post or private message, somebody somewhere has a copy of it. This site uses SSL (HTTPS) to ensure that all of your communication to cousincouples.com is encrypted until our servers receive it. In theory, nobody can eavesdrop, even at coffee shops, hotels or any public Wi-Fi service. But that does not stop some governments from recording the encrypted data. Perhaps at a future date they will be able to decipher it. If they can do that now, they will not disclose that fact, so we do not know how secure SSL really is. I'm betting that it hasn't been broken yet. Further, many of these agencies have backdoors to Facebook, Microsoft, Skype et. al. They very well may have our private communications in unencrypted plain text/ VOIP or {shutter} web cam movies. In light of the information above, it may be prudent to not share personal identifiable information, like the name of your cousin or your grandparent's name. If you request that certain posts be deleted, please give us the actual URL of the post. We may or may not delete your posts. For additional security, I suggest the following products: Secure email (very secure email): Protonmail.com (Proton VPN is coming in the Spring!) Password manager (cheap and very good): LastPass, or StickyPassword Please note that you may be blocked (or "harassed -- prove you are not a robot ...") from this website and others (incl Google) if you are using a VPN or TOR. We request that you use only you real IP while using this forum. Security starts with very good virus and malware protection (I don't have a favorite) and OS updates. Also, there are some antivirus programs that scan your computer for outdated software which is a great idea. Also make sure any personal information is sent over an https connection. If you are at a website that wants credit card info or log-in information, and the site starts with http:// instead of https:// then leave immediately. You can also try to insert the S and see if that works on unencrypted websites. A FEW websites are fine to be unsecured, for example CNN.com. They do not offer an encrypted connection at the time of this writing. I hope this has been helpful! Now, please go sign up. It takes a lot of our time to approve guest messages. Members' messages posts automatically. This is one good reason to have a password manager -- so you can keep up with all of the passwords. If you don't have a password manager, install one today. Here is a comparison chart: http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,2817,2407168,00.asp of top password managers (just use the ones I have recommended; I have used them all). Please understand that the admins here are tech experts. We can track down anyone who is abusing children, and will go out of our way to do so. Any information obtained will be given to the appropriate law enforcement agency for prosecution. This is a family website and even the hint of child exploitation will quickly get you unwanted attention. Please read our "About This Website" page for our unwavering and vehement stance on child abuse of any kind.
  7. Let me explain the 6 main member groups: Admins: Owners / Tech People / We started the website and we run it Moderators: can delete, approve, move, ban and do all the things that make the board run smoothly. They really make this forum possible. Newbys - Less than 5 posts Members - Once you reach 25 posts, you may delete or edit your message up to 48 hours after they are posted. Then you will have to contact a mod or admin for help. Everyone else can delete, hide, or modify their post anytime. We have seen too many people ruin the boards by deleting their topis and replies just because they got an attitude. Advanced Members: When you reach 50 posts, you gain more privileges Senior Members: When you reach 150 posts, you gain more privileges Old Timers: When you reach 300+ posts, you can moderate the chat room and have the most privileges that any user has. There is even an Old Timers forum you will see become available to you.
  8. Please read "Before you become a member" in the Shoot the Breeze section. It has great information.

  9. Burned out and tired! Last week of semester! Cram time.

  10. Married cousins

    One lady from this forum asked her priest (in Canada) if it was OK to marry her cousin. He responded with, "Yes I hope so; I married my cousin too!"
  11. Please register Aiden. I have to approve all of these guest posts.
  12. Marriage License

    Absolutely. Moving to any state, regardless of their civil marriage laws, would not invalidate your marriage. There is only a potential problem if you leave certain states to circumvent their laws, get married, and move back to that state that could cause problems. See our state law page for more info on that. If you move to Texas, the statutes technically would define your relationship as incestious and a felony I believe. Look, only a judge could confirm this. This law appears unconstitutional. Hopefully one day it will be challenged, but I don't think it could be until someone is actually charged under this law. But now I am just musing....
  13. Yeah! Spell it out to us like we are 5 years old: how exactly are you related?
  14. You can hold hands, say "I love you", and all of the PDA that you want. Why couldn't you? How old are you two?
  15. The Middle East is generally more accepting to cousin marriages. Many cultures there have a first cousin marriage preference! I do not recommend moving to Pakistan, for example, although they wouldn't bat an eye if you told them you had married your cousin. You would find a whole different set of problems there. My best advice is not to advertise it to every tom, shriveled appendage, and harry. It's none of their business.
  16. "She's My Sister!"

    Hmmm. You didn't say how old you were but if he is 2 years older than you, that could be a lot. The maturity level of teens just a few years apart can be vast. Maybe you shouldn't hang with these guys at all. If you hang out with them, you will have to demand some respect. Sure their attention may be flattering but you can't let them disrespect you at all. Are you sure there isn't something that you are not telling us? How old are you anyway? The question is why these guys think you are somebody that you aren't? Don't play games with them. Don't lead them on. Take care of yourself girl. Wise up before these guys start rumors, true or untrue, that stick with you like a bad tattoo. Peace out!
  17. Confused

    Few around here will say that it is gross. I don't have a lot of time tonight. I can only tell you to figure out what YOU want and go after it. After you do some soul searching, you can find out what your cousin wants and how she feels. You are only 19. I guess it's time to begin thinking about marriage, but don't rush it. You are not rushing against a clock; somehow, I felt like that I was when I was your age. I wish I had slowed down and asked for some advice. I never asked for any advice and wouldn't accept it if it were given. I knew I wanted to marry my cousin. We did marry. Some can now say "I told you so" but more power to 'em! The miserable bastards! (can I say that word??) We have a whole two sections on religion. Please check it out under "info pages." I wonder if some of your newbys know that we have info pages, and not solely a message board. I usually tell guys and gals to wait wait wait. Finish school or find a career first. But if you are already "OK" with her being so bossy, maybe you are indeed ready for marriage at your young age
  18. Reputation?

    Ok, it's "High Fives" now! At least when using the English language file. Hey we need a British language file with words like "wot" and "innit." That would be a hoot. I could even do one for the southern USA. If I were still drinking.... lol It would be neat to do an offensive one with words like "Trailer trash" and "damned yankee!"
  19. Reputation?

    Look who is the new moderator... Serendipity
  20. Reputation?

    Ok, I will get to it Monday if not before....
  21. Reputation?

    I like "Community Trust Rating" or "High 5's". I'm still thinking...
  22. Reputation?

    I can do that in the language file Ladyc. If you can tell me something to change it to...
  23. I just watched Hyde Park on Hudson on Netflix. It looks like Pres. Roosevelt had a thing for more than one cousin. Check it out. From this movie, it appeared that his first wife lived in a separate house. Roosevelt had so many women that I couldn't keep up with, but in the end they apparently all lived together as one happy family. I see other movies on Amazon Prime that I will be watching, incl The Eleanor Roosevelt Story. Amazon also has a Ken Burns series on the subject. The first season is called. " From PBS and Ken Burns -Examine the early lives of Theodore Roosevelt and his younger cousin." Can't wait to see that.
  24. Yeah it's a word. I saw his series on the Civil War. It was very good.
  25. Is cousin marriage corrupting?

    Interesting. Nepotism is alive and well in the USA. Guess the number one factor that determines if one become wealthy.... drum roll... if their parents are wealthy, they are wayyy more likely to become wealthy. It's almost a prerequisite. It is no surprise that there is more corruption in developing countries than in the Western world. There are a boat-load of factors, not just clans and cousin marriages. Their findings are dubious. Did they consider countries like Venezuela or Columbia? N. Korea? Trust me, all governments are corrupt. Some are just more successful at it than others. If they wanted much better data, they would not compare Middle Eastern Countries with Canada. That's like comparing Mars and Venus. The researchers should compare apples to apples; the population should all be within the same culture. What were they trying to find? Doing crazy comparisons between cultures allows one to come to any conclusion under the sun.
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