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Everything posted by KC

  1. Maiden name issue

    I would guess that when coworkers start asking about your wife's maiden name, it's a huge red flag. They probably already suspect something. They may know a lot more than you think! I've had people I didn't know ask me if I had married my cousin. Without any hesitation, I "proudly" confirmed. I think that is the best way to deal with it. Her mother's maiden name may be fine if you word it correctly... "she is from the xxx clan" whatever. That way you aren't lying and you are not oversharing.
  2. Hello folks! It's time to upgrade the forum software. SMF has served us well, but it is time to upgrade to a more robust system. I have been waiting forever for SMF to offer an updated version, but it doesn't look like it is going to happen. I am going to move to IP Board . It is more robust and I think everyone will be happy with it. The cost of the new forum software is $185. Since this website is not served with ads, and we do not have paid subscriptions, it is only fair to ask for donation from time to time. I have set up a GoFundMe account for this purpose. I will give it 4 weeks and I will pay the difference myself. If we reach our goal of $200, I will go ahead and install the software asap. GoFundMe takes 5 percent plus credit card fees, so I set it at $200 instead of $185. Should be close enough. So if you would like to help, please click on the link below and donate any amount. Thanks for supporting this website! PS - yes, we will be able to import all of our messages, images, and members to the new forum software. I'm excited! So hurry up and donate please gofundme.com/zfu4p9gk
  3. Trying to find out how he feels

    Thanks for sharing your story! Wow, you are long-winded It helps to get it out in the open, huh? Please let me say this upfront: I am not trying to be gruff or hateful. I am simply a bit more concise. It sounds like you have a wonderful husband. In case you do not know, or haven't been on the market in awhile, good husbands are hard to find. They don't grow on trees. I say this because even the best of marriages take work. Hard work. Given, I don't have a lot to go on but indulge me please. I do not see you doing your part at all. In fact, some would say that you are bent on sabotaging your marriage. So what if you have a cute, single cousin. He didn't want you back in the day. Did he ask you out? Did he try to get the ball rolling? Look, he is your cousin. You do not need another "friend." Not this kind of friend. This is the kind of friend that can ruin your marriage. Your cousin is recently divorced and perhaps a bit lonely and you think it is a good idea to open this door? I fear for you if you do. I fear that everything you have worked so hard for will go up in smoke. It takes a lifetime to build trust within a relationship. It takes three minutes to burn it all to the ground. Often, that trust can never be rebuilt. You are playing with fire. So, I'm tell you what I tell a lot of people here. Think about what you are doing. Take care of yourself, and your man and your children. Lay off the romance novels. Give your man 110 percent of your attention. This is real life we are talking about, and it's your life we are talking about. Don't throw it all away.
  4. Bad cousin

    I think you should use the telephone to call him and not try to read his mind. Seriously, you are only adding to the confusion.
  5. I was the only girl...

    Wow 20 years up the river is a long time. That's hard time. I imagine that your letters make it all bearable. I've spend a few months in jail and a few in prison (same offence). A man might as well be on Mars because nobody comes to visit after a short while. I would say that few relationship outlast six months in prison. You find out who your friends are. What is he in there for? You have to keep in mind that people don't change... or don't change easily. If he is in there for child abuse or for banging up the wife, you should wise up. But that is between you and him. Other than that, I am fairly liberal. We have wayyy too many people in jails and prisons for non violent offences. He and his wife does have a chance when he gets out of the joint. I think they deserve a chance to see if there is any chemistry left. You should give them that space, especially if there are kids involved and providing he can forgive her absence. You know, that works both ways. There will be a whole lot of pain on both sides to work through. So my best advice is to insist he get a divorce before embarking on a long journey with this fellow. He will need some time to get it together once he gets out, so take it slow. Look after yourself girl. Nobody else is going to. The worst thing you can do here is to rush into any long-term commitments with him. Honestly, they don't send you to prison for 20 years for being a choir boy. You have a lot to think about. Thanks for sharing your story. I hope I have said something useful.
  6. It plainly says in the Missouri criminal code that if you return to the state after marrying a prohibited person (spelled out in the civil marriage laws), they you can be charged with a crime. So, the trick is to marry in a state where it is legal and not return to live. I suppose if you moved to another states, took up residency there, then married and eventually returned to MO, the criminal case would seem to fall apart or at least enter a grey area. In this case, you didn't move to evade state laws. You could contact the aclu and see if they will take on the case. I am betting it is unconstitutional.
  7. My nephew

    post it. you dont have to ask.
  8. She is floundering can someone give me advice?

    I hope I may be blunt but It sounds like she has done you a favor. Your "late relatives"? Are you kidding me? Don't ever look back my friend.
  9. How I Live Now is out on Netflix now.
  10. Neither was I disappointed with Kissing Cousins. It was charming despite my prejudices going into it (ie Bollywood low budget, thick accents and on and on.) None of these proved to be true at all. I haven't heard of "How I Live Now." I'm going to check it out now.
  11. Final family Member Told About Wedding

    Well if you like, "Brother KC" will give your dad a call. The "icky" part is just a social construct. Couples in other counties feel the same way about strangers -- "Why marry a stranger? Ick!" I am fairly well-versed in the Bible myself. I think I could off a chat without making him furious. I can be cool and collective when I want to be.
  12. Baby in my womb's father is my secod cousin

    I'm not sure who you have been talking to, but they do not know anything about nothing. Doesn't anybody read our facts pages anymore? Are you aware that we have information about 2nd cousins accessible from the home page? Check it out please and stop worrying.
  13. Final family Member Told About Wedding

    PM his mailing address to me and I will print out the page in Christianity and mail -- anonymously.
  14. Rant...

    You didn't say how old you are. I remember being 17-18 and having lots of friends. Funny thing, as soon as each one got married, they disappeared! And the nerve! They never asked me my opinion if they should be with whomever or if they should get married. They didn't ask me anything. Can you believe that!? They married without even asking me! And poof! Like a puff of smoke, they moved away or joined the rat race. If you do any less (marry the one you want!) you are a fool. Who cares what people might say? You are right, they are just ignorant. Are you gonna let these Neanderthals tell you what to do with your life? I had rather jump over the ledge. Life isn't a rehearsal. You got one shot at this.
  15. Hawk, did you find some information on this before? I think you found the updated criminal code.
  16. Who can I confide in

    Uncle KC will listen. Here: head on my shoulder. Let's start from the beginning.
  17. "Oh, we have known one another for a long time." :laugh:
  18. In love with MUCH younger cousin.

    I'm afraid that "much younger" is code word for underage. I may be wrong, but after 20 years I am getting pretty good at this. FWI- Anyone who doesn't know "what to do" with their cousin is well too young for any kind of meaningful relationship. I'm not sure that came out precisely how I wanted. You kids shouldn't be doing anything at all with your cousins. I'm calling your momma right now...
  19. My Alaskan Princess

    If I was checking out a classic Mopar and a hot momma walked by me, I might fall in love too. If she wasn't hot, I'd tell her to her the heck outta da way! Anyway good luck to you two. Get married and don't worry about what anyone else thinks.
  20. In love with MUCH younger cousin.

    Judging from your post, I would say that you do not have the emotional maturity to deal with a cousin of any age. What about your much younger cousin? Let her grow up! Enjoy your freedom for as long as you possibly can. Marriages aren't going out of style any time soon. If she is underage, you had better run from the situation and seek counseling please.
  21. Just tell them...

    I'm a cousin of the bride! I have added new pictures to all of the main page - info pages. I had this one left over for some reason.
  22. I've also heard, "Isn't it illegal?" Or "Wont you have a baby with three heads?" Or, "That's against the Bible." Taboos die slowly or not at all. The best thing you can do is live your life and be happy. Don't try to seek approval from every Tom, Dick and Harry.
  23. Could use some help

    Our google rankings have gone way down. I thought with the new responsive templates, we would be in business. Anyway google has a new thing going, where you need to label the data on each page so it can better index it. I would like to do the main pages. What I am missing are images (required by google). They have to be jpg, png or gif and at least 160x90 pixels and at most 1920x1080 pixels. I don't have a lot of time to work on this project this week, but if someone can find us some images (I don't care exactly what kind as long as they are fairly uniform and look professional). You could even just redo the title box for all I care (they would need to be bigger). I'm sure some of you have access to some great clipart. If you want to help, holler at me. Take your time. It is also possible to program it to answer questions on the google devices (ie Google, how far away is the moon?) We could program it to answer a cousin question, if asked! I hope I am making sense. I have 10 things going on. It's finals for me. Class ends Friday and they are killing me with work! It's enough to drive a man to drink if it weren't seminary I'm attending I've given it all up! But I've never really been fond of sobriety. It's overrated. It just is.
  24. Could use some help

    Hi Rom! Just open up the alerts and click on settings. https://www.cousincouples.com/forum/index.php?action=profile;area=notification;sa=alerts Then uncheck everything. That should get rid of them
  25. Could use some help

    Everyone, I have made quite a few changes. I am forcing the website to use https://www. format. This is new. I also added an exit forum button. I removed the survey that was accessible on the main page. It is buggy and poses a risk to the rest of the website. I also tweaked the google search on the home page. It seems to search the forum better than the built-in search. Let me know if you see any problems.