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Posts posted by KC

  1. September! 27th

    oh come on, what MONTH marks the anniversary?

    mark and i will have been married 15 years on new years day.... and we came to this site just a month or two later. so i'm just trying to figure out how many months old the site was when we showed up here.

    kc, congrats on both of your anniversaries!

  2. I agree Hawk 100%. I would get married tomorrow. Now if they had people gunning for them, well -- there are warmer places to live than Illinois. And we have iced tea and grits. I wouldn't live anywhere that didn't have grits. Otherwise I would have to have them imported from the grit farms.

  3. Robert, nooooo it doesn't. Now you just wasted 20 minutes of my time. I looked up all of those citations. It's the same info we have here.

    If I quoted from Wikipedia in a college essay, I would get heavily penalized and lectured. Or maybe kicked out of the class for being a moron.

    Wikipedia is not a credible source for anything! It's an encyclopedia for kids by kids. The straight deal is laid out in this thread if you care to read it. The law, as it pertains to 1/2 cousins, will remain ambiguous until ruled upon by a judge.

  4. Well you could certainly just wait. But I suspect he feels the same way about you. It often works like that. So take it slow and see where it takes you.

    A good way to approach him would be to say something like, "If you were not my cousin ..." and see how he responds.

    My cousin and I were very close for 5 years. I had no idea than I had feeling for her until one morning I woke up and realized that I was completely smitten. It was a shocker but I knew that I had to have her. Yeah, it was just bizarre. Luckily, she felt the same way. However she turned down my marriage proposal 10 times saying it wouldn't work for this reason or that. That was 18 years ago since we married!

    Would I marry a cousin again? Yeah. But I would think long and hard about it. Everyone will not accept it. So, the question is: does that matter to you?

  5. I can say that everyone isn't going to like the fact that you are cousins. Everyone isn't supposed to like you anyway. Eventually, most people will come around.

    Religion can be so needlessly divisive. Christians sometimes "eat their own." You should be well versed in the facts; read our pages on religion. The three administrators here are die-hard Christians. I lack a few semesters for my BA in religious studies.

    Even so, we don't push religion. This is a website about cousins. If you want a religious discussion, please post in the Religion forum.

    If you have questions, I just have to match up your query with the right answer. I've been married to my cousin for 18 years, so there isn't too much that surprises me anymore. I've been manning these forums for about that long and there isn't much I haven't heard about. It's like a never ending soap opera.

    Welcome aboard!

  6. Anyway check with a local family law attorney about the 1/2 cousin issue. I would get married tomorrow. The only thing that could possibly happen is, during a divorce proceeding, the marriage could be annulled or declared void.

    You could also hire an attorney and challenge the outmoded marriage prohibition. The state would have a hard time proving this is a public safety problem in light of modern genetics.

  7. FWI, here is the criminal portion. Cousins aren't included.

    (720 ILCS 5/11-11) (from Ch. 38, par. 11-11)

        Sec. 11-11. Sexual Relations Within Families.

        (a) A person commits sexual relations within families if he or she:

            (1) Commits an act of sexual penetration as defined [table][tr][td]

    [table][tr][td][table][tr][td]    [/td][td]in Section 11-0.1  of this Code; and[/td][/tr][/table][/t][/t][/t]

    [table][tr][td]        (2) The person knows that he or she is related to the [/td][/tr][tr][td][table][tr][td]

    [table][tr][td]    [/td][td]other person as follows: (i) Brother or sister, either of the whole blood or the half blood; or (ii) Father or mother, when the child, regardless of legitimacy and regardless of whether the child was of the whole blood or half-blood or was adopted, was 18 years of age or over when the act was committed; or (iii) Stepfather or stepmother, when the stepchild was 18 years of age or over when the act was committed; or  (iv) Aunt or uncle, when the niece or nephew was 18 years of age or over when the act was committed; or (v) Great-aunt or great-uncle, when the grand-niece or grand-nephew was 18 years of age or over when the act was committed; or (vi)  Grandparent or step-grandparent, when the grandchild or step-grandchild was 18 years of age or over when the act was committed.[/td][/tr][/table]

    [/td][/tr][tr][td]    (B) Sentence. Sexual relations within families is a Class 3 felony.

    (Source: P.A. 96-233, eff. 1-1-10; 96-1551, eff. 7-1-11.)[/td][/tr][/table]


  8. Elizabeth Whelan, Plaintiff-Appellant, v. Clarence Whelan, Defendant-Appellee

    Gen. No. 10584

    Appellate Court of Illinois, Second District

    346 Ill. App. 445; 105 N.E.2d 314; 1952 Ill. App. LEXIS 306

    OVERVIEW: The wife sought maintenance, and the husband counterclaimed for divorce on the grounds of the wife's intoxication. He then amended the complaint to request a dissolution on the ground that they were first cousins and that while residents of Illinois, they went to Kentucky to marry because Kentucky allowed marriage between first cousins. The husband contended that because they married in Kentucky when they were residents of Illinois, the marriage was void. The trial court granted the dissolution, and the wife sought review. The court affirmed. It found that while there was a presumption that a ceremonial marriage was valid, the husband met his burden and rebutted the presumption with facts and circumstances that established the invalidity. The court further found that because the parties were both residents of Illinois and that because they went to Kentucky for the sole purpose of evading Illinois law, their marriage was incestuous and void.


    ? 750 ILCS 50/8.  Consents to adoption and surrenders for purposes of adoption

      Sec. 8. Consents to adoption and surrenders for purposes of adoption. (a) Except as hereinafter provided in this Section consents or surrenders shall be required in all cases, unless the person whose consent or surrender would otherwise be required shall be found by the court:(1) to be an unfit person as defined in Section 1 of this Act [750 ILCS 50/1], by clear and convincing evidence; or

    (2) not to be the biological or adoptive father of the child; or

    (3) to have waived his parental rights to the child under Section 12a or 12.1 or subsection S of Section 10 of this Act [750 ILCS 50/12a or 750 ILCS 50/12.1 or 750 ILCS 50/10]; or

    (4) to be the parent of an adult sought to be adopted; or

    (5) to be the father of the child as a result of criminal sexual abuse or assault as defined under Article 11 of the Criminal Code of 2012 [720 ILCS 5/11-0.1 et seq.]; or

    (6) to be the father of a child who:

      (i) is a family member of the mother of the child, and the mother is under the age of 18 at the time of the child's conception; for purposes of this subsection, a "family member" is a parent, step-parent, grandparent, step-grandparent, sibling, or cousin of the first degree, whether by whole blood, half-blood, or adoption, as well as a person age 18 or over at the time of the child's conception who has resided in the household with the mother continuously for at least one year; or


    Here are some info I found in the database. In the adoption section, we can clearly see that the law makes a distinction between half and whole blooded first cousins. The marriage laws make no such distinction, but appears to exclude 1/2 cousins.


    The law means exactly whatever a judge says it means. I can find no case law on the issue, nor a statutory definition of what a cousin of the first degree is or isn't.

    One solution would be to RESIDE in another state for some time before moving back to Ill. When you return, they would have to honor the marriage from another state since you were not purposely evading state laws. It appears that problems only arise when the parties seek divorce / alimony / child support. But I haven't even considered criminal laws, which is really the only thing I would worry about.

  9. John, thanks for your replies. I will get to the bottom of this next week and post my findings. It is possible that Ill defines cousins of the 1st degree somewhere in the statutes, or perhaps there is some case law or AG position. I think I have access to case laws; my college has a law school, but I'm not sure if I have access to those case law databases.

  10. I seriously doubt that 1st degree cousins include 1/2 1st cousins.  Where do you get your information?

    Wikipedia is not a credible reference site. You may as well get your information from theonion.com.

    I can find no American legal chart that explains what a 1st degree cousin is! It is different in Cannon law, genealogy and various legal systems around the world.

    I emailed an attorney in Ill who wrote an article, "Can you marry a cousin in Ill?" Maybe he will give me a straight answer.

    If you can find the original wiki article and find the reference citation for these facts, that could be helpful. Much of the stuff on there is not cited and can't be trusted. Any Tom, Dick, or Harry can edit those pages.

    The links given in the reply do not say that half first cousins can marry in Illinois. Cousins of the first degree includes half-cousins. They can't marry unless they're unable to have children. Wikipedia says that first cousins, including half, can't marry in Illinois unless sterile and that out-of-state first cousin marriages are not recognised by Illinois.

  11. http://www.cousincouples.com/info/statelaws.htm#IL

    I've spent well over 100 hours working on the state law page, http://www.cousincouples.com/?page=states, and I know how confusing the laws can be. It appears that your state makes a distinction between "half and full blood;" read the statue at the very top of this message. A word of caution, it could have changed. This was copied more than 10 years ago. You should be able to find the current law at your state's legislative website.

    It doesn't appear to prohibit 1/2 cousins from marrying. The "clerk" you spoke to isn't an attorney or a paralegal. You could ask a local family law attorney just to be sure, or possibly even ask the judge if you must. Personally, I would just get married and be done with it. If they insist that you can't marry, you could marry in Tennessee.

    Anyone would have a heck of a time proving the law includes half cousins who married out of state. Just go for it. It appears legal to marry in your state or Tenn., but I am not an attorney either.

    Let me know if you find out anything different.

  12. Good advice Lori.

    First, you are not double cousins. I am not convinced that there is an increased risk in this case. In some countries, 80 percent of the population STILL marry cousins. And their children marry cousins. I have no idea how this relates to increased birth defects, but I think it is minimal or perhaps nonexistent. I have been wondering about this for some time. If someone has seen stats on the effect of generations of cousin marriages, I would like to see it.

    If you are concerned, please see this website: http://www.nsgc.org/

  13. Hey I'm not going to ban your IP. Uh, I just do not want newcomers to think we are a website dealing with anything but cousin relationships. That's all I ask. So please -- no tag lines about sister relationships.

    I think that is a fair request. Ok?

  14. Correct. Siblings are not only taboo but illegal with heavy criminal penalties everywhere that I am aware of. I don't know of any websites that deal with that subject matter. Initially, I thought you were a troll.

    Your relationship is really really far out there. Nothing good can come of it. In fact, it is so far out that I am speechless. Are you sure that you want to pursue this? I can think of nothing else that would ostracize one faster or more completely. This is not a healthy avenue for either of you.

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