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Romalee

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Everything posted by Romalee

  1. Romalee

    Cousin Love?

    I disagree with Sergio's advice to leave the current relationship. Why? Because you have no real proof or indication that your cousin is interested in you as far as a real relationship goes. In fact you said he "is not showing he cares". I think you have your answer on that. He knows how you feel and now it is time to just let it be. If he has any interest, at some point in time you will know. Don't pressure him, don't contact him. He has your information. He is still young and though an adult, the age difference is quite large at this time. He is still learning who he is. And most 20 year olds I know are NOT interested in long term relationships yet. Also you did say you just met him, kind of soon to be declaring that you are in love with him. If you aren't happy in the current relationship, then you owe it to yourself and your partner to end it. However if the only reason you would entertain leaving it is for your cousin, I think you would be very sorry in the end.
  2. Man of few words??? A little more information may get you more advice. Possibly ages and general location are good starting places.
  3. Right now I think you may be overthinking this. Just because she has boyfriend now, unless they are engaged and even if it has gotten to that, she may not have one over a year from now. You are getting worked up over something that may not happen and making a wreck of yourself. And already planning to drown your sorrows in alcohol is not much of a plan anyway. Why not just put this on the back burner until and unless your "fears" become reality. No need to punish yourself needlessly for that period of time.
  4. If you both feel that "something is missing" then maybe you need to look harder within your own marriages for what it might be. I agree with Serendipity on her advice. To continue to keep this as a secret will only lead to add fuel to the fire so to speak. Break the contact now and figure out what is not good in your marriage and attempt to repair it. If it is not repairable then you owe it to your husband to tell him what is going on and let him be the one to decide if he is interested in continuing the marriage. I see the potential for a huge train wreck here. I think you are putting too much time thinking about what your children may face and what your family will think. There are more considerations to worry about at this time.
  5. Romalee

    Advice?

    I don't have much time right now to give a very long answer, BUT instead of telling her your feeling out right try using the tried and true "if you weren't my cousin" line. Like if you weren't my cousin I would love to date, go out with, etc. whatever fits in the blank. If she gives you the EWWW! answer then you have the out of saying I said IF! Now if she doesn't cut you off immediately, (and even if she does) you have planted the seed and she has an idea of what you are thinking. Give her time. She may come back and stay " you know I've been thinking about what you said". Whatever you do don't bring it up again, no pressure, let her be the one to either let you know it is totally out to the ball park or that she might be interested in exploring the idea more. But you must be prepared for getting the answer you don't want. Are you ready to handle that? With either answer you will be able to start getting on with your life. Best wishes and keep us posted.
  6. Seek out and read Hawk's excellent posts on this matter on the forums. He really has some GREAT advice to help our younger members Just for information, second cousins are legal anywhere in the world we know of. Do understand that young ladies of your age and young men of his will undoubtedly have many crushes, girlfriends/boyfriends and relationships before they are actually ready to be serious for a lifetime commitment. It is all a part of growing up and learning how to function in society. Learn to be friends, build on that friendship, who know what may happen in the future. My hubby and I are second cousins. We actually met when I was 13 and he 15. However it took us 38 years, other marriages and families to finally be together. I know that sounds like forever to you, But realize that nothing is impossible and if it is meant to be it will, Whether it happens sooner or later. Be patient.
  7. We don't give legal advice here but are not lack in advising someone to seek same. Without much information to go on, I would either she or both of you consult with an attorney. If you aren't satisfied with the answers from one, search for one that will be straight forward with you. I would imagine a lot of it would depend on the cousin marriage laws in the state and how " crazy" the family is about keeping the two of you apart. I am sure your ages and the children's ages might play a part in it.
  8. Country or State if in US. No need to be specific. At this point in your quest, ages are more important.
  9. More information will garner you more advice. Such as your ages and a general idea of where you are from.
  10. I think you need to come clean with him. Tell him there is no one else! Tell him you have decided to respect and love yourself and the idea of an open relationship is no longer a good one for you and you refuse to be part of it, You don't necessarily need to give him the ultimatum of " me or them" if you don't want too. BUT I think the message will be clear. Now either you want him exclusively or you don't for a long term relationship, but that is something you have to work out for you. As LadyC and Serendipity have said. RESPECT and LOVE you and do what is best for you. He is old enough to take care of himself. Don't let him manipulate you or your emotions to get what HE wants. Best wishes as you figure out your path.
  11. Nobody! Not sure if it was that we are second cousins or that we are old enough to make our own decisions. The question of children was moot as we both are too old for that and our kids were all grown and had families of their own.
  12. NO definitely not. You are married and that is reason enough!
  13. Romalee

    Cousin Couple

    Guest April if you will re-read LadyC's answer to the OP you will find where to look for the information you are asking about.
  14. and if she is , tell her to cut out the shenanigans and then move on. .
  15. Actually LadyC, not all officers went from military school to "being high up on the food chain without ever serving a day of doing the real work". My ex went to OCS ( officer candidate school in the Navy after having served 4 years in the Air Force and over 18 months in the Navy as enlisted. And he became a commissioned officer. I will tell you that the best officers I ever ran into were ones that went up that way, first enlisted and then to OCS or officer training in another branch. Hopefully I haven't stepped on any toes as that is not my intention. I support all our troops.
  16. Welcome! Serendipity is correct in that makes you practically strangers. But you are second cousins, no "removeds" here. This is the same relationship my hubby and I are, his dad and my mom are first cousins. I totally agree with her, you are old enough to make your own decisions. Ex-hubby probably doesn't stand a chance of anything legal and other than making a lot of noise he can't do anything about it. Thank you for your service! Enlisted or officer doesn't make any difference. And there is no shame. Best wishes and keep us posted!
  17. Serendipity the pay is out of this world too!!!!! Regular raises and benefits!!
  18. That has a nice ring to it!! I like it.
  19. Hey I will go with the flow and the majority. Sometimes posts have nothing to do with advice, wisdom or reliability but it could work. Go for what works best for the most.
  20. I think "like" works for me. If I agree with or like the post I have read, it fits better. Not sure the terms you suggested work for me. Sometimes there isn't and "wisdom" involved!! lol But I am only one here. I do agree with not having a "dislike" button. I was joking. And I think it would be nice for staff to have the option also.
  21. I really don't like the "reputation" term. I agree we need a like button. And a dislike one to go along with it! hehe
  22. Then stop with the games and start a real relationship with her. Treat her and talk to her like she is the valuable person she is. Tell her to stop "randomly" showing you her body. Tell her it sends the wrong message to you. You aren't interested in just that. Bring her to the site and show her the facts. Check the fact pages. Find out what the law says for where you are. If it isn't on our pages we will try to direct you to find them. Also look up some of the posts by Hawk. He has some EXCELLENT advice for our younger members. We are here to help you understand. Best wishes and keep us posted.
  23. I just realized almost all my last post was underlined! Not done on purpose and don't know how that happened. LadyC I like Colorado bullcogs, They have vodka, khalua, coke and milk. Can't remember the exact measurements. Been a long time since I made them myself. You can probably google it and find out. Tastes like chocolate milk and goes down really smooth. But watch out it will kick you when you least expect it!!! LOL
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