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LadyC

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LadyC last won the day on March 13

LadyC had the most liked content!

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About LadyC

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    Politically Incorrect Old Bat

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    Female
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    Texas

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  1. Wow, that day slipped right by me this year!
  2. ditto what serendipity said. you love each other, you have a beautiful bouncing baby boy together, now give that baby a proper family! and the rest of the kids, too! my goodness, that will be a houseful. if you can handle that many children, then overcoming the stigma of marrying a distant cousin should be a piece of cake! you're not going to find people here criticizing you for loving your second cousin, by the way. but there are people who come here and demand "no negative comments' who get angry when they don't get the affirmation they need. those are usually people who are cheating on a current spouse, or who are pursuing someone who is in a prison romance with a serial killer, or who thinks he's in love with a "mature for her age" 12 year old. yep, we get people like that. you don't sound like you fall in any of those categories.
  3. glad ya'll had such a great visit!!
  4. welcome, pooch. i trust you will consider your replies to people carefully and not be stalker-ish.
  5. in the past, the ACLU as a whole has had no interest in helping us. however, a few years have passed and the whole idea of what's acceptable and what's not has shifted. so it will be interesting to see if the ACLU would be willing to take this on now!
  6. nothing about what you've told me sounds like your parents are 'traditionalist'. and i hate to hear you say you think they are not good people! they're just BROKEN people. they clearly are having some very real struggles in their lives. everything you've said makes me think that they feel like their lives are spinning out of control... a rocky marriage, drug use that may be an addiction but is definitely a way of escaping something... and if only one of them is using drugs, then the other is probably trying to micro-manage the one using. the idea of you making decisions about your own life must be a very scary thing, especially for your mother. so try not to be too angry with them.
  7. LadyC

    All right!

    hey, i only saw this this morning! i haven't been online much lately. i think it's totally natural to have dreams about people (and even places) that have been an important part of your life, and you'll never stop having them. i still occasionally have a random dream or two about people i once fancied myself in love with long before mark came into the picture. hmmm.... i don't think any of those dreams ever include my ex-husband though. i'm sure some psychiatrist could unravel some deep mystery as to why. but heck, i even have fairly regularly occurring dreams of the pool hall i worked at when i was in my 20s! i quit working there nearly a quarter-century ago. the important thing is when you wake up from those dreams, you wake up looking forward and not back. you've got this KC!
  8. you're fourth cousins? you're sure of this? tell all those nosey-bodies to stay out of your business. there are no social, legal, genetic, or moral impediments to fourth cousin marriages, ANYwhere in the entire world (not that you're ready for marriage yet, but just sayin'...) the ONLY impediment to your relationship is what you allow your family to impose on you. at 18 years old, you are adults. so behave as adults and make your own decisions. just be aware that those decisions may have consequences, and if you are still financially dependant upon your parents, they may cut off the supply. that means you may have to move out of their house. you may have to apply for your own student loans and work your way through college the old fashioned way. but really, living at home under your parents' authority beyond the age of 18 is unhealthy anyway, for them and for you. once you stand up for yourselves and take responsibility for your lives (emotionally AND financially) they will likely come around. it's a parent's job to try to "protect" our children from making what WE think might be mistakes, and our primary means of doing that is by control. it's a difficult thing for a parent to let go of that control, but it's a natural progression, and an important one that brings relief once the lines are drawn in the sand (by you.)
  9. This seems to be an epidemic lately. I think you're the third person in the last month to express concerns years after they married. Listen, YOU have no control over whether people give your child a hard time about it. you DO, however, have the ability (and responsibility) to teach your child how to react in a way that will cause no harm. Does your child even know that your husband is your cousin? It's always best for parents to raise their child knowing this information so that they don't feel shame about it. but even if your child is a teenager, you need to sit down and tell him (her?) the facts. And when I say facts, I mean present the info with NO shame, NO guilt, and LOTS of love. You need to express confidence and pride in who you married and the family ya'll created together. You need to arm your child with all the information he or she needs to know so that when people make comments, he can 'educate' them on the facts. If your child feels no shame about his heritage, then he won't be any fun for people to pick on. True story here. Mark and I grew up in the same small town together. We went to the same school, played in the same band, had the same teachers (although we were a few years apart in age.) When we got married, my daughters were 12 and 13 years old. They went to the same school we'd gone to. They were friends with the children of people we'd grown up with. Heck, they even had some of the same teachers that we'd had when we were kids. These are tough ages for kids, as you well know. But we answered all their questions, gave them all the facts, and very few people gave them problems because of how they responded. After a week or so, the bullies moved on to someone new. I became quite an outspoken advocate for cousin marriage, and regularly made tv and radio appearances. Sometimes my husband joined me, and once, when my oldest was 14, even she appeared on TV with me. So let go of your anxiety. It will just give you an ulcer, and will drive a wedge between you and your family. Instead of worrying, do something about it. Besides, after 15 years, what makes you think people will suddenly find out?
  10. LadyC

    Test project

    what exactly are we testing here? i'm confused.
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