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LadyC

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LadyC last won the day on September 14

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About LadyC

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    Politically Incorrect Old Bat

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    Female
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    Texas

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  1. i just finished watching the movie. anyone seen it yet? it was pretty good, although it crammed too much into 90 minutes. they should have made it longer. if you don't know who she was (i didn't either), she was a woman who died back in the 50s from cervical cancer. the doctors at johns hopkins biopsied some of her cells, and it was the first time they'd ever gotten a line of cells to reproduce outside of a living human body. her cells have been used in medical science ever since. so anyway, i looked up more info on her after the movie ended. i know it's irrelevant really, and not really a part of the movie itself, but she had married her cousin and had five children with him. just thought i'd share. i only gave the movie 3.5 stars. it was good, but like i said, it was too much info for too little screentime. if they'd extended it another half hour with a little more character development i think i could have rated it higher.
  2. Problems I'm having marrying my first cousin

    good grief, are you really 30? what if your uncle or auntie slap you and call you a dirty word? seriously? and why do you think it's so necessary to go telling all your friends that the love of your life happens to be a cousin? i never said cousin marriage was COMMON there. it's not here either. but it happens more than you think, and it is still far more acceptable in your country than ours. i'm not going to sit here and argue the semantics with you. bottom line is that there are NO laws anywhere in your country against cousin marriage, and here half of the country prohibits it and a percentage of those that do also classify it as a felony offense that you can go to jail over. i don't keep up with your pop culture enough to know the names and marital relationships of people over there. i do know it was common throughout the history of the royal family, and if it's good enough for them, it's good enough for you. if you want to do the research into who is married to a cousin, feel free to share your results with us. but rest assured you're not the only person in the UK who loves a first cousin. in fact, you're not even the first one to find our website. now excuse me but i have a funeral to attend and have no more patience for your dramatics. grow up and get over it.
  3. Problems I'm having marrying my first cousin

    the UK is no different towards cousin marriage than america. actually yes it is different. it's BETTER for you. because NOWHERE in the UK prohibits first cousins from marrying and puts no restrictions on cousins who wish to marry. that's not true in america where half the states forbid it and in some cases you can be jailed for it. and also, cousin marriage is part of the UK's history throughout the monarchy. i know this is hard for you. i know it's frustrating when family doesn't accept it. i GET that. but you're being a bit of a drama king. stand up for yourself, and for her. because if you won't, then you don't deserve her.
  4. Problems I'm having marrying my first cousin

    (there is a reason my title is 'politically incorrect old bat)
  5. Problems I'm having marrying my first cousin

    yes, you can marry her. you're not the first person in the world to love a cousin in spite of family objections. and you won't be the first person to MARRY a cousin in spite of those objections. once you grow a pair and stand up to them and marry her, the majority of them will quit using your emotional frailty to blackmail you with. make no mistake, the choice to marry and be happy is yours and hers. nobody else's. you are either willing to let your family walk away or you're not. but if you're not, then quit whining about it and break up. dragging it out with all this drama isn't fair to anybody. yeah, i know that's harsh and mean sounding. i've already been "reported" today for being so cold. but you're playing games. you may not be doing it intentionally, but you are doing it, nonetheless. and sometimes the only way to get someone to stand on their own two feet is to give them a reality check like me and yankee are giving you. it's kinda like the guy who tries to save a drowning victim, and the only way to save him is to knock him out cold so he'll stop fighting... because in fighting for his own life, he's going to drown the person trying to save him. you're that guy. stop fighting.
  6. Problems I'm having marrying my first cousin

    listen, i know your emotions are all over the map because of this, but i have to say this. you're 30 years old. you're a grown man. your family and your friends don't get a say in who you marry. and unless you're using an IP spoofer or whatever those things are called, then it's legal to marry where you live. so you've got to get a grip on your emotions. as long as you let this be a drama-fest, the family and friends are going to continue to feed on it, and the more strung out your emotions are going to get. you don't have to live your life alone with a cat or two.... although cats are great, i have four of them. AND a husband. so tell your family and friends that you are sorry that you upset them by asking their opinions, but that from here on out your love life is NOT up for discussion. if they want to shun you, then they aren't worth the time and effort. you're not 15 anymore. you're a big boy now. be the man your cousin needs you to be and plant your feet firmly on the ground on this issue.
  7. Problems I'm having marrying my first cousin

    oh my gosh. i knew i had written a response to this days ago. apparently i had just forgotten to hit the submit button, and now over a week later when i clicked the option to reply, everything i'd written to you last week is still here ready to send! pretty amazing since i know this browser has been closed... and i think the computer has even been turned off a couple of times. anyway, here's what i wrote. sorry it took so long. disregard the part about punctuation, it looks like you edited that without my suggestion! before i get into responding to what you said, i gotta ask you to go in and add some more punctuation. seriously, those sentences are major run-ons. it's difficult to make heads or tails of what you wrote. now, as for your parents. if they sense the two of you are close and keep making comments about marriage, they may not be as shocked as you think they'll be. a lot of times parents will make comments to that effect just trying to give their adult children an opportunity to say "hey, yeah, we're kinda a thing". we've been running this site for nearly two decades and i can't even begin to count the times that has been the case. on to your friends... those aren't friends. those are people who don't know how to think (or research) anything for themselves. they're sheep that just spew the current politically correct sentiments. you will not burn in hell if you marry your cousin. God was ordaining (and sometimes commanding) cousin marriages as far back as genesis. and He didn't change His mind about it during the new testament or He would have said so. and your children will not be deformed. cousin couples have about a 2% greater risk than unrelated couples of having a child with birth defects. and the only category of birth defects that can be a result of cousin marriage is called autosomal recessive, which just happens to be the least common category of all birth defects. if you have any concerns you can see a genetic counselor (covered by insurance) to determine if you and your cousin are at specific risk. so if you want to marry, and live where it is legal, then do it. don't let the ignorance of people in your life stop you. go forward with your dream and educate them about the truth of cousin couples. and once you're married, burn those condoms. you don't need them.
  8. yes, you did nothing wrong. i think you're probably correct that the waves will slow to ripples and that she will probably let you back in as a friend, and quite possibly it might turn into something more. i would like to think her explosive reaction was partly because she would like to persue it but is afraid to. but i really have no idea. cap, if she doesn't come around, you need to let go of your concern about her trajectory. you can't fix her. and you need to also be aware that if she DOES come back around, and if it DOES turn into a thing between you, it could be a rocky road. people who have difficulty connecting emotionally are not easy people to live with, and forever is a long, long time.
  9. Ex going for custody

    exactly. in fact, one of our members, jessie woodard, was in a similar situation in his state years ago. the incest accusation was brought up in court during a custody battle. but because the LAW of that state did not define it as incest, the charge was dismissed, and jessie and his new bride won custody. unless laws have changed in georgia since we last updated our information, first cousins can legally marry where you live. therefore any attempts by an ex to use your relationship with your cousin against you will be thrown out of court. don't be afraid to go see a family law attorney to take up your defense! and shop around. remember that attorneys are just people too, and some of them bring their own prejudices into their practice. find one that will set their personal opinions aside and defend you on the merit of the law.
  10. New here

    over the years we've had a few people in similar situations stop in to visit. i think that the genetic risks are about the same for you as they would be for first cousins, although i'm not positive. it would be very close. but legally, you're out of luck i'm afraid. and the judgment from society for you will likely be much greater even than it is for us, and we face a LOT of stigma and prejudice. you don't have any biblical support on your side either, which will make it more difficult. but you are definitely not alone. maybe you should create a support network for people in your circumstances. that's what KC did here nearly 20 years ago... he never expected to find others out there who had fallen in love with and/or married a cousin, but within only a few months it had gotten pretty busy! i think i found this site when it was still in its first year, and there were a whole bunch of regulars coming here. even more so than there are now! the internet was still pretty new at the time too, so message boards and chatrooms were quite popular. now days it's slower because so many other means of communication exist... cell phones and text messaging, so our chatroom doesn't get much traffic anymore.
  11. Planning a baby

    your baby will most likely be perfect! please read our genetics info! you can access it from the menu under "info pages". i think that will ease a lot of your concerns, and then we can better address any specific questions that you may still have. also, most insurance companies will cover genetic counseling, so that would be a wise thing to do... even couples who aren't cousins can benefit from genetic counseling, because MOST genetic problems are not a result from kinship between the parents. what a genetic counselor does is take a thorough look at your family's medical history on both sides, and then if there are any red flags, will run tests to see if the two of you are carriers of the defective gene. the shortest answer to the question though is this... the average non-related couple has a 97% chance of having a perfectly normal, healthy bouncing baby. you and your husband (assuming you are first cousins) have a 95% chance of having a perfectly normal, healthy, bouncing baby.
  12. been a while....

    hey jess, how ya holding up with irma knocking at your door?
  13. been a while....

    jessie it's great to see you again! mark and i are doing fine. better than ever, actually! i think you knew we had moved back to texas. we now have five grandchildren! my mom had lived with us for several years, but she passed away this past december. i still miss her, but i just praise God that she didn't suffer. God is gracious, even in the rough moments.
  14. Hello.

    and no, she's not off limits except in a handful of states!
  15. Hello.

    first cousins once removed.
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