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LadyC last won the day on March 15

LadyC had the most liked content!

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About LadyC

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    Politically Incorrect Old Bat

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  1. Long Distance relationship with my cousin.. help!

    he's right, ya know. if you do want to repair your relationship with your child's father, you absolutely can. it will take work, but it can be done. that's the other part of my story that i didn't share... mine and mark's marriage was definitely on the verge of collapse at one point. in fact, it was on the verge for several years. but we overcame it, and for the last six years, i've had the marriage of my dreams, with the man i made a commitment to 19 years ago. there's another book that i would recommend along with what CM suggested... the love dare. you can get the audio book free here: http://bit.ly/lovedareaudio (it's free with a 30 day trial to their audio service, but you can cancel and keep the book.)
  2. Advice please!

    i imagine your dad does have some fear left over from having lost contact with his daughter. but she was a child when her mother took off, and she probably has very little (good) memories of him left. it's pretty likely that she has been poisoned against him for her entire life by her mother. remind your dad that it's a whole different scenario now. you have grown up your entire life loving him, and no matter how far away you might ever travel (short or long term) you'll never stop being his little girl. hope things work out for you!!
  3. Newspaper article

    it's a good article, thanks for linking us to it!
  4. Long Distance relationship with my cousin.. help!

    oh, and because i know what the next questions are probably going to be... my ex husband lived in the same state as i. he never gave us any hassle about the fact that the guy i was about to marry was my cousin (once removed). he never even talked negatively to our daughters about it... that's probably the ONLY thing he's never found a way to use as a weapon where the girls are concerned, as a matter of fact. and our family was all surprisingly supportive on both sides. there did come a time when we moved out of state, and spent a decade living in nevada while the girls were still young, but my divorce had given me sole right to determine residency, which meant that my ex couldn't do a thing about it even if he'd wanted to. he wasn't really much of a father to them though, so i don't think it bothered him too much... although when we first moved away, i let my youngest stay with him for a month before joining us, and i showed up early and unexpectedly to take her back with me because she'd told me on the phone that her dad was getting her a passport so they could go live in mexico or something. i don't know if he really would have. he denies it to this day. but i wasn't taking that chance.
  5. Long Distance relationship with my cousin.. help!

    jolina, there's the kicker... you're having an emotional relationship. you're just a half-step away from acknowledging it for what it actually is... you're having an emotional affair... which is being unfaithful to your boyfriend. now, you're not married, so it's not adultery, but it is unfair to the boyfriend. i get that it's tough to make a break from someone you share a child with, but maybe it's time to consider co-parenting without co-habitating? (assuming you're living together) it's such a long story!! Mark and i had grown up together more or less. we weren't ever close, but we lived in the same school district, we were in the same high school band (for one year, anyway, before he graduated), all my friends thought he was dreamy back in high school. i didn't think of him in those terms at all. then he graduated and moved and married and divorced and remarried and all that jazz... and then i grew up and graduated and married and moved and had 2 daughters and divorced and all THAT jazz... and then we reconnected (at the stereotypical family reunion) when i was 34-ish... plus or minus a few months. it was instant attraction. we spent the whole reunion sitting under a tree talking. it was an attraction that was more than just skin deep, it was this feeling like i'd finally arrived home. now, backing up, here's a little irony. i don't know if you believe in God or not, but i do. and back in november of the previous year i had a long conversation (i.e. prayer) with God and basically said i was tired of trying to find someone to meet my expectations. i was ready to have a man in my life... someone to help me raise my girls and someone to grow old with. spring would be nice. may, maybe. could God bring him to me by may? well, that family reunion was on the last day of may. meanwhile, also in november of the previous year, Mark had filed for divorce from his second wife. no children involved, no hatred or anger, just issues that the two of them couldn't overcome. and in may, he decided that he would attend the family reunion for the first time in many, many years. his reason was so he could see his grandmother. but he always told me, even on that day, that he'd found himself hoping that i would be there. he didn't have a clue why i had even entered his mind, but he'd hoped to see me. anyway, i totally believe it was a God thing... He brought me His very best for my life... and even did it within the time frame that i'd requested, LOL... barely! and he definitely didn't fit any of my own personal prerequisites for a soulmate. he still carried baggage from his first two marriages/divorces, he had a history with substance abuse, he was not (at the time) likely to be any sort of "spiritual head of the household" because he really wasn't giving much thought to God back then. he wasn't likely to be serenading me by candlelight, strumming his guitar and singing pretty love songs like i was hoping for. but i hadn't asked for God to fulfill my wish list, i'd asked Him to bring me His best for my life. and i sincerely believe that was the prayer God answered. so we became instant best friends. we talked daily, we saw each other on weekends, we went places and did things together like best friends, but there was always that interest in pushing it further. and then finally it became vocalized. "if you weren't my cousin, i'd marry you in an instant". well what the heck? could you do that? and then i started doing my homework and found out that we could... legally, and morally from a biblical standpoint. and so we married on january 1 of 1999. and that's it in a nutshell! funny thing though. you asked how i knew he was the one. i remember one time my mom said something to me... she said she knew that this was really the one for me, because i was so calm about it. i didn't really understand what she meant so i pushed a little bit and she explained (i can't remember what words she used though) that i wasn't on some emotional high of infatuation, but that it was just a deep, steady abiding kind of love that seemed to keep me grounded.
  6. Long Distance relationship with my cousin.. help!

    you do seem a little hung up lately on hearing others describe physical appearance and sometimes other things, pooch...
  7. Long Distance relationship with my cousin.. help!

    for the record, i see no reason why you could never be with him publicly. i've been married to my first cousin once removed for 19 years. and in your circumstances, apparently at least one family member that noticed the connection between you two has no problem with it.
  8. Long Distance relationship with my cousin.. help!

    ditto EVERYthing romalee just said. only i'll stress it a little more, that if you want to pursue something (even short term) with your cousin, you owe it to your boyfriend to end things first. in fact, you really shouldn't be playing with fire like this via text messages and such while you still have a boyfriend. it's unfair to everybody involved.
  9. Is my cousin attracted to me?

    biological cousin or not, you need to be really careful. i'm with pooch on this one. if you were geographically closer to her, whether you moved in with her or not, chances are that an emotionally confusing maelstrom would would ensue. you might think you were getting exactly what you want, but rebounds never last. so definitely keep her in the friend zone! maybe after she's been single for a year or so and is completely over her ex, you might consider broaching the subject of how you feel about her. but to do so now would inevitably end in disaster.
  10. Cousin Couples Success Stories

    welcome to our site! i hope you'll stick around and share your wisdom and insight with others. and happy almost anniversary. my husband (first cousin once removed) and i just celebrated our 19th anniversary in january!
  11. this is a question for a genetic counselor (i'll call it GC from here on out.) a GC can determine whether the blindness was caused by a recessive gene and whether you and/or your girl carry the same gene. if the blindness is a recessive genetic condition, then you and your cousin would both have to have the defective gene for your children to also have it. the blindness may also be hereditary only on the maternal line, which means her children would be at risk to become blind regardless of who she married, even if it wasn't you. and the blindness may be an anomaly that is not hereditary at all. i really, really encourage you ask your doctor for a referral to a GC. i don't know how it works in India, but here in america almost all insurance plans cover genetic counseling.
  12. you're welcome. i wish you well!
  13. I don't know what to do

    you haven't gone to school since you were 15 years old? may i ask why?
  14. we women all share one common thing, it seems... that common thread being that when a guy wants a casual relationship and we don't, we'll play with fire hoping that he'll change his mind. he usually won't. listen, all that confusing stuff, the part where he would miss talking to you, and he'd want to share his day with you... that's the FRIENDS part of FWB. that's what friends do. this should not be misconstrued as romantic inclination. he's made it pretty clear that he is never going to feel the same as you, so you need to move on and find someone who is on the same page as you.