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LadyC

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LadyC last won the day on December 13

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About LadyC

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    Politically Incorrect Old Bat

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    Female
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    Texas

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  1. First Cousins Marrying in Catholic Church

    the catholic church requires dispensation for a small monetary fee in order for first cousins to marry in the church, and then ONLY if it is legal in the state you're marrying in. you may be waiting a long, long while sabrina. have you considered marrying in another state?
  2. Ibotta coupon app

    i'm also an ibotta user. so is romalee! so we should all be on the team together. i also am a huge fan of topcashback... everybody has heard of ebates, but they spend most of their revenue on advertising. topcashback doesn't spend ANYthing on advertising and passes on 100% of their commissions to the members. so as much as i like ibotta, i use it only for in-store purchases. when it comes to amazon or groupon and similar websites, i get a lot more through topcashback then ibotta offers.
  3. 2nd or 3rd cousins?

    i believe that would be double second cousins and if i'm not mistaken, that means that you share 6.125% of your DNA (the same as first cousins once removed share). that's about double the amount of DNA that two totally unrelated people share.
  4. how old are your children? i caution you against waiting until they are older to tell them.... at this point i wouldn't, but if things get serious enough for the two of you to forge a life together, then you should tell them then. the reason is because the younger they are, the less set in stone their prejudices and biases. many adult children of cousin couples have come here before madder than hell because their parents didn't tell them, and their anger compounded their prejudice BECAUSE they inherited the "shame" of their parents... and whether the parents are truly ashamed or not, the grown children perceived it as shame. and while this site doesn't have enough info for scientific data, in the 18 years we've been here, i can say i honestly don't ever remember a single incident where children who grew up with the knowledge of their parents' biological connection have had anything other than a healthy, positive attitude towards cousin marriage... my own children included. they were 11 and 12 when we married, and it was at a time when some neighborhood kids were being ridiculed for their learning disabilities for their parents being cousins (which ironically, the parents were NOT related at all.) kids can be cruel. so when mark and i decided to marry we sat the girls down and answered their questions and gave them the facts. after that they were confident enough that they stood up for those neighbors, and educated other kids in the neighborhood. as a result, they discovered there were a few of their friends whose parents were cousins of some degree!
  5. !!!!UPDATE!!

    glad you put an end to the thing with your boyfriend... but as you are still under-age and financially dependent on your family, you really still have no choice but to follow their rules. take things slow! wait til you're finished with high school before getting more involved. you can handle waiting a year, even if you don't think you can. if i recall, you're soon to turn 17. once you're 18 you can move out and make your own rules. as for him, he's 20 already... time for him to learn to support himself... that way when the time comes, if you two are still a thing, he can support you as well.
  6. so you're so distantly removed that there should be no obstacles anywhere, nor any objections from anyone with a lick of sense. anyone who raises a stink about it would probably be using the kinship as some sort of excuse, and would likely use anything they could think of to complain. but leaving your kids and grandmother behind, i can understand how difficult that decision might be!
  7. that's a neat story! now ya just gotta figure out which one of you needs to move to another country so just out of curiousity, how distantly related are you? it sounds like you have the beginning of a beautiful love story happening. don't worry too much about flying, just focus on the destination and being together again. and keep us updated!!
  8. Merry Christmas happy holidays

    i hope you and LC are having a wonderful holiday season! may you have the merriest christmas ever!
  9. I am in love with him and completely lost

    these idiots? listen up buttercup, this site is not about patting people on the back for their own stupidity and selfishness. and cheating on one's spouse is both of those things. romalee is one of our most trusted members here, because she has wisdom in spades. i highly recommend you reconsider how you, a newbie, speaks to those who have been around here for years. and just in case you want to get mouthy with me, let me just say that would be your quickest ticket out of here. she should have thought about that before she married him. but i'm glad in your case you chose to not start out with cheating!
  10. well it would have been easier if you were second cousins. legally, since 2005, first cousins are considered incestuous in the state of texas. however, since you are first HALF cousins, you share the same amount of DNA as first cousins once removed, which are NOT considered incestuous. so even if it ever did come up in court, i think you'd have plenty of grounds to have a case dismissed. that being said, there is no government agency that checks the biological relationship of every parent listed on every birth certificate. and even if they did, since you aren't (at this time) considering marriage, who could prove that the two of you had sex here in texas? you could have conceived while you were in oklahoma... or in any other state or country where your relationship was legal. now you can see a lawyer and get advice that is worth more than my opinions, and if you can, i encourage you to do so. but i think your boyfriend is right. there are bigger fish to fry than to try to convict one or both of you of having illegal sex. and nobody is going to take your baby away for having had sex that can't be proven as illegal (since you could have been elsewhere.) and not so long ago, the sodomy law was repealed in texas (this being before gay marriage became legal) because you can't prove what does or does not happen in the privacy of your bedroom. so unless the two of you have a video floating around somewhere of the two of you engaged in the act, or unless you have some really evil person that is hellbent on revenge over something, i'd go with your boyfriend's gut feelings on this one.
  11. Needs advice

    i can't answer those questions, luna. i'm only taking shots in the dark based on what little information i have... he may have missed you, and maybe he does love you. but it doesn't sound as though the two of you have the same concept of love if he's already trying to brace you for the inevitable end. i could be wrong, though. and the only way for you to find out is to ask him point blank if he WANTS a future with you. maybe he just thinks it will end because he is scared. if that's the case, then maybe coming here would ease his concerns and pave the way for you two. but if it's set in stone in his mind that the two of you will come to an end, then he's not committed and probably won't become that way. sit him down. ask him to define his love for you. does he "love" you? or is he IN love with you and want to grow old with you? "love" to a man can mean many different things. i would definitely recommend you continue keeping sex out of the picture, but seriously.... sexting is just as much of an emotional minefield for a woman as 'coitus'.
  12. Needs advice

    you're not stupid for falling for him, but chances are he's being honest about his feelings when he says it will eventually end. it's natural for a woman to fall in love with someone she's intimate with. (and it's normal... not necessarily natural but definitely normal) for a woman to agree in the beginning that the relationship will just be casual sex. the problem is, a woman can't keep that part of her life separate from her emotional part the way a man can. so yes, your feelings have changed. you have become attached. it doesn't sound as though he has become attached to you, tho. to him, the forbidden fruit syndrome is probably keeping the sex exciting, but it sounds as though he recognizes that it's purely physiological from his point of view. and when things end, it's very likely that you are going to feel used... and he will feel like you tried to trap him. of course, neither of those two things will be true. you didn't set out to snare him anymore than he intended to use you. it's just that he took you at your word (that you wanted a casual relationship.
  13. Can you develop feelings if....

    of course you can. especially us women, because our brains are wired to associate intimacy with love, romance, and security. like it or not though, men are not wired the same. men can fall in love with someone they've been intimate with, but it is far more common for women to read things into their intimate relationships than the men have in mind. no, this isn't me just being cynical, either. you can call it biology or you can call it divine design, but men are hardwired to propogate the species, and therefore they can (and by nature, DO,) compartmentalize and keep sex and love totally separate. women, on the other hand, are hardwired to be nurturers, and in most cases have extreme difficulty compartmentalizing like that. sex is an expression of love, and love is fulfilled through sex.
  14. wow. ok, first let me ask that (for the sake of those trying to read your post) you go in and add a few more periods here and there. it's not terribly difficult to read, but some of us wise old owls stumble a bit with run-on sentences i'm glad you and your boyfriend haven't had sex. think about this for a sec... in the beginning you probably felt that he was the love of your life. but less than a year later, the two of you are drifting apart. (not to mention that he's a 'bad boy', which probably was part of what drew you to him in the first place... no, i'm not criticizing... it's totally normal! i don't know why but it seems to be natural instinct for us women to be attracted to the bad-boy-persona.) he cheated on you multiple times, he's got some sort of criminal background since he's on probation, you don't get to see him much, and now you're falling for someone new. aren't you glad you didn't give such a precious part of yourself away to someone who was just temporary in your life? now, what to do about him. girl, i know it's hard, but you need to let him know that you don't want to be with him anymore. it won't be the end of his world. in less than a year, you know of three times he's cheated. he's probably STILL cheating, especially since you don't see him often these days. out of sight, out of mind. but you do need to be fair and let him know that you are moving on. as for your cousin, please take things slow. you have a lifetime ahead of you. if you two are right for each other, then taking it slow will make the relationship much stronger than if you jump in too soon. plus, you're still living at home... and taking it slow will also be to your benefit when you (someday) tell your mother. the longer you two have been together the far more likely she'll take it seriously and not freak out.
  15. first cousins can't marry in michigan. the closest thing i can find to just 'being in a relationship' dates back to 2008 and appears to be only felony offenses if the 'relationship' is with a minor in your own home. but here's the chart... scroll down to michigan and read for yourself. if i'm understanding it correctly, assuming you are both consenting adults, you'd be considered (worst case scenario) a 4th degree misdemeanor. but even that is when one person was coerced into the relationship. http://www.ndaa.org/pdf/criminal_incest chart _2010.pdf
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