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LadyC

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Everything posted by LadyC

  1. Things have gotten complicated

    pooch, you're really starting to creep me out. pickled, you've already LET that genie out of the bottle. you can't put it back in. you have learned a valuable but heartwrenching lesson... that your actions have consequences, and those consequences are that by getting carried away with the excitement, the taboo, the hormones, you have forever changed your relationship with your cousin. and with your boyfriend. i get that you miss your best friend, but you are never going to get that back again. not the way it was. and your relationship with your boyfriend, even if he never finds out, is going to be shadowed by the fact that you did step out on him. and the only way to minimize that damage going forward is to accept that you have lost your best friend and leave it (and him) in the past. you can't, i repeat you can NOT ever get back the casual platonic relationship that you once had with him. it will never ever be the same. it's done, it's over. so now you have a decision to make... and decisions are always easiest made when all those shades of grey are removed and the picture becomes black and white. i hope i've helped you to eliminate the grey... because your choice is now very simple. is chasing a friendship that you can never recapture the innocence of worth taking a machete to the amazing relationship with a boyfriend that you may still have a future with? are you willing to sacrifice your relationship with your amazing boyfriend for the uncertainty of whatever this anti-climactic hormonal rush you have with your cousin? or are you willing to sacrifice whatever that was for the sake of an amazing boyfriend that you might be able to see yourself growing old with?
  2. WTforecast...

    i wish someone would clone the WTForecast app and make the humor more postive and upbeat. even with the profanity filter limited, everything is bitchy and whiny. if i turn off the filter entirely then i have my favorite weather app. but i enjoy sometimes seeing funny stuff.
  3. Things have gotten complicated

    wow pooch LOL, that's the most unusual response i've ever seen you post! besides... tom cruise? really? you're thinking OUR age, not hers! if she's in college she's probably thinking cruise is kinda cute for an old fart LOL. pickledpie, i think what you're experiencing is a rush of hormones mixed with the excitement of a taboo. honestly, the fact that he suggested cooling things off AFTER you had sex with him sends up major, major red flags. he told you from the start that he wanted to fulfill his fantasy about sleeping with you (or something to that effect) and now he has. you may no longer be useful to him other than as a bed warmer until someone "safe" comes along. but i guess there is no putting the genie back in the bottle, and you'll probably pursue this right to the bottom of heartbreak ridge. i hope i'm wrong.
  4. Important pt II

    this would be a good time to become more media friendly... but who is willing to be the spokesperson? i've done my time on that end LOL. i'm too old, fat and ugly to fit the demographic they look for anymore. what the media wants is someone who: is in a romantic relationship or a marriage with their cousin is under 40 slim and attractive willing to appear on national television sometimes the media is willing to bend a little on those, but those are the basic guidelines for what they look for. as for membership, there could be an annual option too, with maybe a price break. but what we need to know first is a ballpark figure of how much it costs per month to keep the site running... so if you can tally up the annual fees and divide it by 12 and add a couple extra dollars in there for your TIME, it will give us a starting point.
  5. Legal question for the state of Texas

    depends on the size of the ancestral family! i've got some first cousins twice removed that are pretty close to my age! but my mom was the youngest of 12 kids... wait, now that i'm trying to pinpoint a few of them, i'm re-thinking that. most of my contemporaries are first cousins once removed. but all the twice removed are adults with kids of their own now so it just doesn't seem like that big of an age difference i guess.
  6. I like my cousin and don't know what to do

    or maybe it was a private message, i'm not sure. i just remember the same filters peppering his story.
  7. I like my cousin and don't know what to do

    he's just trying his hand at writing erotica and got caught in a web of naughty word censors. he sent the same thing recently as a message through the email to the staff. i think he just copied and pasted here because nobody responded to his juvenile email.
  8. can you forward the pm to me or KC?
  9. there have been two producers from the same show recently violate the terms of service for media people here lately. one posted a request on this site without contacting the admins first, the second sent me a pm but wouldn't wait for an answer before sending private messages to at least one member here. these people are not to be trusted. it is in your best interest not to deal with them at all. i have told them not to contact anyone here again. if they send you a message, please report and forward it to the admins here immediately.
  10. My cousin matt

    you don't. he either feels the same or he doesn't. you don't say if he is also gay or not. but i have to tell ya, fast heartbeat and sweaty does not mean "love". it means lust. there is a huge difference between the two.
  11. Legal question for the state of Texas

    here's a link for the definitive answer: http://www.statutes.legis.state.tx.us/Docs/FA/htm/FA.2.htm (A) an ancestor or descendant, by blood or adoption; (B) a brother or sister, of the whole or half blood or by adoption; (C) a parent's brother or sister, of the whole or half blood or by adoption; (D) a son or daughter of a brother or sister, of the whole or half blood or by adoption; (E) a current or former stepchild or stepparent; or (F) a son or daughter of a parent's brother or sister, of the whole or half blood or by adoption.";
  12. Legal question for the state of Texas

    first cousin marriage has been illegal in the state of texas since 2005. however, the laws do not extend to first cousins once (or twice) removed. you'll be fine
  13. Second cousins, 30s and 40s

    well since you are still getting to know each other that does put a different spin on it! he may just be freaked out about going public. and at this stage, you're right, it would be too soon. however, if you want something long-term and he just simply is not interested in such a commitment, then i'd definitely not ever let things get physical. that's just a heartache waiting for a place to happen (to quote an old janie frickie song).
  14. Second cousins, 30s and 40s

    Abrad, listen.... he doesn't want a long term relationship. he wants something with an expiration date, which means no matter how much he likes you, he does NOT see you as a potential mate. he sees you as a disposable playmate. i know that's a difficult pill to swallow, but you're 35 years old, you don't need to waste time in a relationship that has no future. so give him the expiration date he's asking for... an expiration date of yesterday, and move on. find someone who is looking for the same thing out of life as you. similar interests aren't going to change his short term focus. i know you've stopped initiating contact, but it is time for you to cease to respond when he makes contact. it's not going to be easy, but you deserve better.
  15. its been a long time comming

    in case you failed to read my signature line, let me quote it here. let those words sink in. i'm blunt. i don't give pats on the back. i come across sounding harsh BECAUSE you're in a dark place and you need a reality check so you can see that there IS light out there... but it's not going to be found in the arms of a married woman. (nor would it be found in the arms of any single woman, because you have a wife.) yes, as pooch said, the essence of my advice is that you need to cut all ties and communication with your cousin until you (and she) have dissolved your respective marriages. because having an affair, whether physical or emotional, is not fair to either of you. not one little bit. UNDERSTAND THIS... as long as you "belong" to another woman (because you are married, and yes, you took vows even in a courthouse wedding ceremony because that's what the marriage license is... a vow. a contract. a promise.) sorry, let me repeat that, as long as you belong to another woman in marriage, your cousin is getting the short end of the stick. likewise, as long as she belongs to another man in marriage, you're getting the short end of the stick. it's simply unfair. it's unfair to your respective spouses, and it's unfair to each other. and love is not about being unfair. it's about protecting someone. this affair you are having does not protect anyone. and yes, it's an affair even if it hasn't been physical yet. you have a lot of excuses for what you're doing, but you're not seeing the reality of your choices... and that is that in the long run this will end badly unless you stop it in its tracks until you are both free to pursue a relationship. i'm blunt because i give a darn. nobody in your shoes has ever been helped by someone coddling them. you want advice, that's what i give. if you can't accept honest advice meant to actually help you, then you're in the wrong place.
  16. its been a long time comming

    so because you're closely related, you think maybe that trumps 'married'? well if you love her, you want to protect her. what do you think her husband will do to her if he finds out she's screwing you? an abusive man isn't going to turn a blind eye to that. did you ever mean your wedding vows when you promised to love your wife? what a betrayal of her trust. even if you don't have sex with her, you've already broken your marriage vow by having intimate conversation with another woman. you need to tell your wife you're in love with another woman and don't want to remain in your marriage. and then you need to be fair, even generous, in your divorce settlement. but even then, you need to stay away (FAR away) from your cousin until she is also divorced. honestly, the two of you need to break all communication off completely until you both are free and clear. affairs, even if they are not yet physical, will always muddy the waters in a marriage or in a divorce. neither of you needs to be the reason (or even A reason) for the other getting a divorce. anything else is pure selfishness, and it doesn't help anybody.
  17. Torn

    you could start by understanding that this is a family friendly website and that you really gave way too much detail. i'm going to ask you to edit it. by the way, there is nothing 'normal' about this dogpiling thing to me at all LOL. what the heck? sounds like nothing more than a clothed version of a menage a trois.
  18. Advice please!

    then if you want to go see him, go. you don't have to submit to your parents "terms of visitation". however, they may ask you to move out if you're not going to do their bidding. now listen carefully here, that's not such a bad thing... on the one hand, your parents have a right to lay down "house rules", pertaining to anything that occurs in their home... but that shouldn't include telling you who you're allowed to see outside the house. on the other hand, you're 20 years old and doing financially well for someone your age. to ME that means that you are financially sound enough that you should no longer be living with your parents and letting them support you. i don't understand this new generation's choice to let their parents support them after the age of 18 or so, unless they are helping you out while you go to college. you're an adult now. get your own place or share expenses with a roommate and set your OWN rules. we were never meant to be beholden to our moms and dads during our adult years.
  19. Advice please!

    i've seen much longer stories, trust me! you do realize that at 20 years old, your parents don't get to dictate who you see and who you don't, right?
  20. your auto correct needs to add some punctuation. i don't like reading run-on sentences, but flat out refuse to read a run-on- paragraph. please go back and edit.
  21. Help

    you're THIRD cousins? he's making excuses. he just doesn't want to commit. quit getting physical with him. that's a gift that should never be given to someone who doesn't cherish you with a lifetime kind of love.
  22. wow. that's awful! i'm so sorry the courts sided with an abusive ex
  23. LOL no worries on the typo's... i do voice-to-text a lot and my friends have quite a laugh over some of the things my phone says to them! i am going to be cheering from the sidelines that you gather the courage to stand up to her and go with your grandparents.
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