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ColoradoMarried last won the day on July 23 2019

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About ColoradoMarried

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  1. That's a pretty amazing story. Because you are now married, I don't suppose I have to caution you but will anyway - be VERY careful because your cousin is still in your life and you are still tempted. Your marriage is young and the real challenges to it are just around the corner. In those moments when you are frustrated or even furious with your husband and not feeling loved at all, you may feel tempted to talk with your cousin. After all, he is also a good friend and confidant. Unfortunately, that's also a recipe for disaster. He cares for you at least in some way and any advice he giv
  2. You're going to have to be patient. I know, telling a 16-year-old to be patient is like telling a puppy to wait for a treat that you're holding six inches from its nose, but consider that picture. Right now, you're full of emotions, desires, and a desire to grab life and run with it. That's a VERY GOOD thing! However, I don't know where you are in life. In some places, 16 is old enough to get married, start a profession, and raise a family. In others (America and Europe), 16 is considered "childhood" and marriage is supposed to be set aside for after you complete your primary and seconda
  3. Welcome to the forum, Hasan! You may find good answers to your question in the "Shoot the Breeze" or "Help/Advice" forums on the page. There are some pinned posts at the top of those forums and many people have also asked this question and received some really good answers. Honestly, it's hard to say for every situation, but at 16, you're a little young to start a relationship with her, especially if she's 20. I'd say you're at least two to four years away. Also, I do not know where you are or your family or religious background, and these definitely play a major part in how you should ap
  4. Hi, Beth, and welcome to the site! I've seen a few folks from that part of the world come around here. I'm going to remove your email address and ask that interested folks DM you instead. Please see our posts in the Shoot the Breeze forum regarding media. We do have a strict policy regarding media solicitation and appreciate you reading that first. Best wishes! CM
  5. As a minister of the Gospel in the largest Protestant denomination in America, I'm curious which scripture, especially New Testament, they believe supports their notion that cousin marriage is wrong. CM
  6. ColoradoMarried


    Fourth cousin is basically same as the general population at large so "chances" of birth defects are not elevated at all. Of course, if you're concerned about anything specific that you two may share, you should ask a doctor. As for shame, honestly, I'm surprised you even know who your fourth cousin is! I'm lucky to know of my second cousins (met one once over 25 years ago). The rest are guesses on Ancestry.com. In your case, it will depend on any cultural particulars of your community and family but from the average American perspective, I'd say none. Finally, congratulations. Beco
  7. Welcome to the site be thanks for sharing your story. I wish I had a better answer but honestly it doesn't sound like it would end well for you if you did manage to get his attention again. Speaking as a man here, I think he is one of those men who is sweet as can be when he wants something and then discards whatever he uses. I believe he would only use you for seasons between other women. If he brought a girl home from a bar and let her think she is his girlfriend, he's a user of women and you should run from him. You can't fix him or make him grow up. If he just said that to some
  8. My wife (first cousin) and I have two beautiful adult daughters who are both healthy and completely "normal" (whatever that means). They are both high achieving students attending an excellent private university with scholarships. We married very young, probably younger than I would normally recommend - both of our kids are older than we were. Do what we did and have an honest talk with your doctor. Ours told us the same statistics which now appear on this site and that was before this site (or any other) existed. Your doctor can discuss with you any specific risk factors and hopefully hel
  9. KC... are you talking about the non-forum portion of the site? Let me see what we can do from our end to make it very "Google-friendly". I'll hit you up on the admin side. CM
  10. If you're really 9 and he is 12, what he is doing is wrong. You are too young and so is he. You need to tell your parents what he is doing so they can help you both understand why it is wrong and teach him what is right and what is wrong.
  11. KC explained that pretty well, especially where Jews and Muslims are concerned. Their view has the advantage of having not been influenced by the middle years of the Roman Catholic Church (which prohibited cousin marriage) and minimal influence by the Eugenics movement. Those two events had a significant impact on how Christians, and Western Christians in particular, view cousin marriage. For better or worse, culture influences how Christians interpret Scripture, as is evident in comparing American Christianity to Christianity in places like Iraq and Egypt (the oldest remaining sects that t
  12. ColoradoMarried


    Not being a Catholic, I don't know the rules regarding Church Canon. With that said, I do know that the Church takes a dim view of unmarried couples cohabiting, especially with children. They would very much prefer that you be married before trying to have a child baptized. The reason is that Christening, baptizing, and confirmation are all part of a process of training to understand and live within the doctrine and faith of the Church. If the parents are refusing to do that themselves, it means the child will be raised in a home that is divided and inconsistent. Likewise, if your cousin is C
  13. There's really no such thing as "disorganized religion". The very notion is contrary to human nature. We are social beings by nature so we naturally find someone we trust and gravitate in that direction. Alternatively, a few of us become leaders, for better or worse, and lead people in a certain direction. That can be political or religious. Can anarchy truly exist? No, not for more than about half a second. In that brief time, someone will decide to put their own spin on how anarchy should work and convince others of the same... thus ending anarchy and replacing it with some other politic
  14. Ah, so, totallynormal, you acknowledge the logic that something must have been the uncaused cause - a point of origin. The rest becomes self-evident. That uncaused cause must logically be eternal, existing outside of time. It must be transcendent, existing outside of space (which is creation), it must be powerful (enough so to cause creation to come into existence), and it must be deliberate (creation happened because this creator wanted it to be so, not because it was accidental). As human beings with self awareness, we are enabled to observe certain things to discover the nature of the
  15. Exactly. I'm all for scientific exploration, scientific method, and evaluation of scientific evidence. But that wasn't my question. The question is ultimately about a simple one: cause and effect. The earth is clearly an effect in a long chain of causes and effects. The "big bang" may or may not be that cause (the evidence supports that it is), but the big bang is itself an effect of some other cause. Every effect has a cause but not every cause necessarily has to have a preceding effect (or cause). There can, and logically must be, at least one uncaused cause and a deeper philosophical s
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