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Posts posted by FnE

  1. jonnn,

    I can not wait until I can say I have been with my cousin for 16 years. Its beautiful to always hear about long relationships especially in this day and age. I know, it bothers me so much and sometimes I just cry because its my own family. I can't cut them off because my mother and my grandmother make it such a big deal that its my fault this is going on. As you, I can not let him go. I've been through a lot to finally be with him and I'm happy. My sister is fine with it but that's where it ends. Even his younger sister who was so close to me back then is against me. I don't know what happened but she has completely changed and tells all his exes who I am on fb to send me messages. I'm glad your family is fine with it. Especially since they are old fashion! You are blessed. Had I had my entire side of my family on my side, I would be more braver.


  2. shantanu22,

    The only person in my family who supports this is my sister. To me that's enough but I know its gets to him at times. Its not so much believing his family its how he gets alienated from his family because he refuses to.

    After this amount of years there is no reasoning with them. I was trying to reason with his sister so that we can talk like two grown women who are family. My best friend stood there watching as his sister humiliated me and started to blame me for things that I wasn't doing. My best friend pulled me away as she couldn't bear to see the situation and in angry tears told me there was no reasoning with that family.

    Even my oldest cousin who has seen the situation is finally exhausted. He tells me the solution is either to learn how to deal with the gossip or cut my veins to take their blood out because like it or not that this is what I get for getting with his brother. I have to deal with my family and its best to find someone else.

    Keeping calm and cool is all I can do. Thank you for your advice.


  3. Hello everyone!

    I'm happy to tell everyone that after five years of being separate and two years of not talking to each other, my cousin and I finally decided that we wanted to be happy and have been together for 5 months. I am the happiest I have been and the wait was worth it. Long story short, I have loved my cousin since I was 9 and became a couple at 19. It ended up being a long distance relationship and when our families found out it they were extremely angry. The pressure and the distance got to him and we broke up leaving me devastated. I almost got married with someone else hoping it would make me forget him but my sister knocked some common sense into me and showed me this website. I broke off the engagement, was able to have closure and we didn't speak for 2 years seeing if it was meant to be or if we can move on.

    He finally came to the US and he found sneaky ways to always be close to me. After a year when no one was around he stole a kiss. I felt my heart jump and I hugged him tightly. Since then we decided to give ourselves a second chance.

    However when his family found out they were quick to fill his head with ideas. My uncle and aunt have been telling him how its wrong, how I'm not the woman for him, how I'm going to leave him heartbroken like my ex-fiance, how I think I'm this princess because I went to college (and going to make him starve) and other nonsense.Then last week they all went to a concert that my bf thought would be a sibling thing but when he saw all his siblings with their g/f or b/fs, he realized I just wasn't invited. 

    The biggest culprits are his sister, his brother and his girlfriend. They guilt trip him, they always have rumors to say (like that I'm sleeping around) and humiliate me whenever I'm around then make it seem like I'm the bad person when I complain. Worst as my mom's niece and nephews, they are good at turning my mom against me as well over this relationship.

    It was this pressure and this bad mouthing that led to our first breakup. I'm so scared to lose him again over his family. It hurts more because they are my family too but everyone even my mother are always going on how I'm a slut (because to all of them they want me to get back with my ex fianc?), how I have no shame, and how I'm going to sleep with all my cousins now, and how I think I'm better than everyone because I'm graduating soon and have a job in my field.

    The worst problem of all is that I feel I can't handle the pressure either but I don't want to leave him. Not after all these years that I always wanted to be with him. He wants everything with me, he wants to marry me, have a life with me and he distances himself from his family. He doesn't believe the rumors but he feels bad. I'd hate having him choose. I don't know what to do... I feel my happy ending is being taken away... :cry:

  4. Hello oldnorse,

    I know what it means to have a love for a cousin on and off for 10+ years. I have felt something special since I was 9 for my cousin and I'm 24 now! I know what you mean by seeing the pictures! You feel your heart race so much your chest almost hurts.

    Although I don't know the solution, since I'm in your position minus a family, it helps to live day by day. If you can type stories or poems as form of outlet. Focus on your child and give your time through, prayer, meditation or a good conversation with a close friend to make a decision. Its good to see why you hold on to these feelings so strongly even after finding a man you love who you have a home with. If you decide its best to remain with your partner (you mention that you love him but he's not your soul mate, can you describe what is missing?) then consider going to couple's therapy. You might find things out that weren't obvious.


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