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Hawk

Moderator
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Everything posted by Hawk

  1. Guest Unknown, You're in the perfect position to get what was known around here as "Hawk's Broken Record Speech." Ready? Here goes. FIRST, you are young, and have your whole life ahead of you. You have no reason to rush. He's older, and will probably be in relationships of a much more serious nature than you are in any sort of position to begin at this point. Until such time as you are old enough, you need to focus on other things. Foremost being your schooling. You need to decide what you would like to do with your life, then take well planned steps to move toward those goals. Get
  2. Hellwell, You should start your own thread, but since you posted here, I'll reply, First, if she is the daughter of your Mother's sister, she is your FIRST cousin, and it depends on what country or State in the US you are in as to whether it is legal or not, If she says you are like brother and sister, then culturally, I'm going to guess you are from India, or the religion is Hindu, because in Christianity, Judaism, and Islam, there is no SCRIPTURAL prohibitions on first cousins marrying, and it is (and historically has been) preferred and even commanded. If I'm right, then yes, your bes
  3. Trying out the chat room, LOL

  4. Nat, Yeah, and I used that lemonade to wash down the elephant. You know the old saying.... "How do you eat an elephant?" "One bite at a time". A good glass of lemonade helps wash it down too, LOL
  5. Roma, Aww, I'd take the hug, and I take it as the highest compliment that you read that mess, LOL. I know how you are with walls of text......
  6. David, I've been scarce around these parts for several months, and after I have a little break, and decide to figure out where I'm going to go to work next, I'm liable to get scarce again. Whilst I'm off though, I'll jump in, and this is as good a thread as any to do so. Before we get real carried away, I'd like to clear up one small (very common) misconception you have. If she is the daughter of your 40yr old first cousin, she is actually your first cousin once removed. The viewing public, and many new arrivals don't quite grasp the concept, so, I'll try to boil it down to the kitchen t
  7. Anxietyridden, I suppose it depends on where you are. If cousin marriage is legal in the State you are in, then, no, it's all a lot of puff and bravado out of your ex and his new wife. I'm going to go only slightly out on a limb here, and say that since DHHS has met with you, and found nothing, then at least as of now, you are fine, and the children cannot be taken away from you. Let's go ahead and get the legal disclaimer out of the way here, and remind you that we are not lawyers, and do not give legal advice. However, that said, I'm reasonably confident that if you are in a State whic
  8. Azam, Sorry I didn't get to this sooner. I've been very busy. First things first. Do keep all of this on the down low, and do yourself and everyone else a favor by keeping it that way until the divorce is final. Get that fully out of the way, THEN worry about further matters of the heart. As far as a spiritual element, I'm not sure, as I'm no scholar on Eastern religions. As far as a purely spiritual aspect, with no religious overtones considered, I do think in some cases there is something going on that way. For example, I have a second cousin I am very fond of. When
  9. I'll play along too Boss. Latest status? This job is finally starting to wind down. We are within days of moving across the river into KY/TN/MS. If I was guessing, the crew I'm on will do the station work. We're in one now, and there are two others, one in TN and one in MS. The one in MS MAY be done. I've not asked my boss about it, but heard he went down there within the last couple weeks. The one in TN needs a lot of clean-up and "prettying up", but is nowhere near as big a site as the one we're doing now. When we move across the river, I'll probably be real scarce except Sundays until we get done, probably close to a month. I'm ready for this thing to be over, LOL

    1. KC

      KC

      Sounds good man! Be safe out there!

  10. Morgan, To break the ice, there is not much better than what we call the "old tried and true" method of saying "If you weren't my cousin, I'd ______ (date you, be your GF, go out with you)". Fill in the blank to fit your particular situation at the time. If he responds similarly, you can step it up with something like "Actually, it doesn't really bother me so much that we ARE cousins. I probably would anyhow." If he reacts badly, you can always use the out of saying "I did say IF, you know. IF we weren't cousins.....". It still gives him something to think about, and you should not be su
  11. Morgan, Your instinct CAN be wrong, but, it is usually a reasonable indicator......
  12. Morgan, I suppose it depends on how old the two of you are now. If you're still in your teens, my advice is going to be dramatically different than if you two are even 21/22 ish. If you are both available, and in your 30's or beyond, it will be a little more involved. It is also going to depend on where you live, so as to determine if there is the possibility of legal drama. I can have a little peek, (and did) and if our look-up is correct, where you are, it is perfectly legal. So, one potential problem out of the way. Now, do tell how old the two of you are, and we'll try to take it fro
  13. confusedANGEL, I have a little different take on it than Serendipity perhaps. I'm not so sure she had a little peek as to where you are, like I did. You do not mention where you are, so, rest assured, I shan't either. However, if the look-up is right, I'm extremely curious as to how this has went this long with the family drama. For one, I'm surprised either the marriage wasn't arranged, or you didn't face MAJOR repercussions for your actions. If you are of the culture where it shows you as being, and not of foreign decent living there, (and even if you are) I don't know how this whole t
  14. Hawk

    Texas...

    lilianaa22, We aren't lawyers, and don't give legal advice. That said...... Leave Texas, and stay gone. You are dancing on very thin ice. You will be breaking the law by having intimate relations, you cannot marry there, and you cannot marry elsewhere and return there. The statutes could very likely be overturned, but unless you have extremely deep pockets and hard heads, why test it? California and Florida are excellent options, as is Georgia. In fact, economic conditions being what they are, unless you have options in California, I would look very hard for jobs whilst in Florida.
  15. Sab, Though this site is directed toward cousins who are attracted to each other, or already to the point of being in love, and you didn't mention that this young man is kin/cousin to you, the rules are still pretty much the same. You get the "broken record speech to young members" I've become infamous for, just without the "cousin" parts that tend to complicate matters at times. Ready? Here goes..... First. Keep your nose in the books. Don't let these hairy legs distract you from your studies. I'm sure it's all quite flattering to have these older boys falling all over you, but, I
  16. NurseCousin, Welcome. I'm glad he shared this site with you, and you decided to take the time to investigate the facts further. Don't worry if he was a little too forthcoming. You are anonymous here. We mods and admins have the ability to have a little peek at where you are, but, our look-up is nowhere near so accurate as to give your actual street address, and if it does, we consider it suspect. It shows me as being in the town 6 miles west of where I actually am. For our purposes, which particular State one is in will suffice. We'll not be sending out Christmas cards or anything such a
  17. I cleaned out my inbox, so, I think I should be able to get PM's again...
  18. Rosy, So long as it is legal where you are, you two are certainly old enough to make your own decisions as to what you want to do, and what makes you happy. You didn't mention where you are, so, I shan't either. But, as a mod, I do have the ability to have a little peek. I'm not totally familiar with the laws there, but, IIRC, first cousins cannot marry there. From that starting point, you have to determine if first cousins once removed are allowed to marry. If so, you would be free to have whatever relationship, up to, and including marriage, that you so choose. You will want to have a g
  19. I'll ALSO agree with the others. I'm probably a little more devious though. Let this asshat hire a PI, "THE BEST" lawyer, and let him pee away his not so hard earned $$$. It would make for a large dose of reality check. I personally love to see an arrogant arse get a good smack-down. Judges have a tendency to enjoy giving them out too, in my experience. Second cousins you are indeed, and second cousins are perfectly legal in ALL 50 States, as noted. As far as the rest of the family is concerned, who cares? I'd be willing to bet that if her mother is still in a good enough mental state,
  20. Let's get the standard disclaimer out in the open again, that we do not give legal advice. However, if I'm looking at the lists of States and what is allowed further down on the State Laws page, Illinois does allow 1C1R's to marry. Again, I would want to have a close look at the actual statute, but, IIRC, it does only say first cousins, then followed by the age and sterility exceptions for first cousins. It, unlike WI and a few others, does not say "nearer than second cousins".
  21. Violet, LadyC is probably correct in that you could challenge the law and prevail. I have a sneaking suspicion the reason WI dropped the aforementioned case was, they had a pretty good indication said member had excellent representation, and would most likely have the law overturned. I'm reasonable sure that played at the very least a considerable part of why they dropped it. There were other issues involved as well, which led to the charges in the first place. Some of those issues were mute by the time this all started making it's way through the system, so there was that as well.
  22. Violet, It's been a while since I've looked at the exact verbiage of the statute in WI, BUT I do know for full first cousins, it's probably about as bad as any of the States get. Full first cousins are considered criminal incest, and in at least one instance we know of, the State went after a member here. It was eventually dropped, but not before considerable gnashing of teeth and digging into case law. Being in IL, I can tell you it is much friendlier. I'm not exactly sure whether 1C1R's can marry here, but, I do know full first cousins can't. (Well, actually, there are exception
  23. Cutecousins, The relationship would be the nearest, which would be, half siblings. That they would also be cousins is irrelevant as the half sibling relationship would be the primary relationship in their case. Kids are going to make fun of each other over every little thing, no matter what. The best way to deal with it when it starts is for the child to say "Uh, yeah, so what? What's the big deal?" and let it roll off like water off a ducks back. Hard to do, I know, believe me, but really about the most effective way to deal with it. If the other kids know they can't get a rise out
  24. I don't know if she knows it yet. Let's see what she thinks when she logs on and sees the things she's never seen before, LOL. I remember just before I became a mod, for some reason, for several hours, every member I suppose was a mod. We couldn't see the admin section, and I don't recall how I figured out the privileges were somewhat open, but I think it was when I was checking spam member profiles, and I saw an option of "delete this account." I was like "YEE HAWW, I got you spammers now." I took the liberty of swinging the banhammer mercilessly. I deleted well over 100 of the old spam
  25. I've never mentioned this publicly, but I may as well now. Some weeks ago, I made this same suggestion, and passed it up the food chain. I suggested it because I knew my time here would be limited with all of the changes in my life, and if/when I went back to work. I had no idea this job was going to take up pretty much ALL my time. I will second this nomination, if you would like to proceed LadyC, and if you would be willing to moderate, Serendipity.....
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