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Hawk

Moderator
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Everything posted by Hawk

  1. Danielle, Don't be defensive, but, be prepared to politely stand your ground. If the family drama was initiated by this Uncle, there's no need to directly go into that, but, in standing your ground, and, standing up for your husband, you can certainly make note that the estrangement had nothing to do with your husband, and, it is quite unfair to take it out on him, and, by extension, you. Even if the issues were initiated by this Uncle, there's no need to throw that in his face. He knows who initiated it. He did. Not his brother, and not your husband. It would just seem a bit unfair to resen
  2. AmorImposible, You can certainly start here: https://www.cousincouples.com/forum/index.php/topic,2663.0.html
  3. Good, I hope we've helped. Do let us know how things turn out for you.
  4. Hawk

    Help please?

    This thread, and your reply LadyC, reminds me perfectly of this, so I'll just leave it here....
  5. If she's more open to talk about it, then talk about it. If you have a feeling she may bring it up, give her time to do so. My prediction is that she is going to bring it up by saying "So, tell me more about this dream." Good on you if you did have a dream, and brought it up, and brilliant on you if you didn't, and just thought up such a "lead-in". :grin: The "If you weren't my cousin" thing or my variation (or some version of your own that fits the conversation at the time) is as good a way as any to start. You want to have some sort of "disclaimer" to it, but you don't want to emphasize
  6. loli, It's going to be the same as any other embarrassing type of issue you will discuss with your doctor. I don't want to be crude in any way, but you have to kinda be light-hearted about it too. Like, "Doc, I got this funky itch going on." You know, you don't REALLY want to talk about it, but you really HAVE to. From your profile, and your other thread you've started, I see you're form Australia. I suppose you know, that it's perfectly legal in Australia to marry your cousin, so, having one as your BF, and being in a motherly way from said relationship isn't going to be some sort of
  7. strawberrymilk, I had quite a bit more in that post, and pared it back. I do define some of these relationships as incest, and out of my comfort zone, but, I do NOT consider cousins among them, based on the generally accepted HISTORIC precedent, and the generally accepted CURRENT genetic data. Which, considering the Old Testament as the historical part, and the current science as the modern understanding is how I come to my definition. I have no delusion of grandeur as to think my definition shall be the final word to anyone else. Part of what I pared back was on the risk of birth defects o
  8. As far as full marriage equality among consenting adults, some of it is going to be outside my comfort zone, I won't lie. But again, if there is a God, and I believe there is a God, then it's going to be quite a bit over my pay grade to be judging. If there is, I'm sure I'll have enough of my own shenanigans to answer for to be too busy worrying about anybody else. Unless it DOES get into my pay grade with some progeny I'm supporting, when the science does generally fall outside virtually everyone's comfort zone, then yeah, that I'll have a major issue with. The adult siblings is testing the e
  9. Since we've seen this, I am going to redact a couple things in my post, before the spiders find it, and we perhaps have an influx such as we've had before. I may have to modify your quote as well strawberry, if it doesn't change with my actions. I became a mod here as a sort of junkyard dog, eating spam and banhammering trolls. I'd be remiss if I let stand more work for myself..... BRB
  10. strawberrymilk, As a mod, I'll pipe in as well. Members cannot see it, but search engine spiders are crawling all over this place all the time. As I type this, there are 2 Google spiders, 2 Yahoo spiders, and 14 Baidu spiders in here. The difference in the actual facts and what will pop up on a Google search is about the same as Wikipedia and the Encyclopedia Britannica. Actually, Wikipedia is probably more accurate factually than Google, and certainly more factual than anything I've ever seen on Yahoo Answers. With the right search terms though, and all the spiders, Google does tend to lea
  11. yukon2, As Romalee noted, you didn't mention where you are, and, at your ages, it isn't QUITE as much of an issue. As a mod, I can, (and did) have a little peek. Provided the index is correct, you are in one of what we call " the yellow States". https://www.cousincouples.com/?page=states The age varies, as do the conditions that prompt "yellow" status, but, as a rule, it means first cousins can't marry UNTIL they reach a certain age, somewhere between 50 and 65. In the State you are showing as being in, ( big wave, same one as I'm in, :grin: ) the age is 50. I know this is WAY out in
  12. luckysgirl, Ok, NOW I get it. I misread the "second cousins" part, and thought you said you thought you two are second cousins. I knew by what you had given, that wasn't the relation. I see now with your chart that there is an, all be it distant, blood relation. So, your Aunt was married to her 1st cousin once removed. If you know the details, was there any family drama when that happened? With the two of you yet another generation down the line, I would hope there would not be any in your case. And, even though you didn't mention it, if they had kids, they would still be first cous
  13. luckysgirl, You haven't given us quite enough information to figure it out, M'Dear. I am confident, from what you have given us, that you are not second cousins. You could be anything from no blood relation at all, to possibly first cousins. (which I do NOT think is the case, if I'm wrapping my head around this correctly) I think you two are probably not actually any blood relation at all, and the only connection is through this marriage. You are kin by blood to your aunt, obviously. As is he to his uncle. Now, if these two had children, THEY would be both you and your bf's cousins, but, y
  14. Closetomydream, You know, once you're in and settled, and in the routine, you'll have to come here and change your user name to Livinthedream.....LOL
  15. dimpy23, They are only in the Midwest in the US. Even though there are 3 of them in Illinois, and I'm in Illinois, the closest one to me would probably be the one in Indianapolis Indiana. I've been wanting to go for some time now. I would have liked to have gone over the Christmas break, but, we just had too much going on. Maybe, if I get the job I've put in for, Spring Break could be a possibility.
  16. Maybe, I'd have to check. Are you in Indiana? If you are, then my look-up is wrong. Wouldn't be the first time, and it's usually pretty good, but, it certainly isn't showing you in Indiana. I went to my file that has more extensive content than is listed in the pop-up on the States page. As far as "skirting" the law in Indiana, no, you can't intentionally skirt the law by going to another State where it's legal, get married, then come back. The only way to legally "skirt" the law in Indiana is to full establish residency elsewhere, (I'm going to say they are going to want to see somewhere betw
  17. Marla, Well, you're probably stuck then. No more neeked shenanigans where you are either. I really don't want to see you run afoul of the law, M'Dear. He's (well, both of you are) plenty old enough to make your own decisions, but if relocating is not an option, the decision is made for you....
  18. Marla, See our replies to you in your other thread, but, it sounds like it may not come to that anyhow. I guess it depends on how old you two are. If you're both of age, in the end, it doesn't really matter what family says about it, and your major obstacle where you are is the law. And, the need for him to man up, and stand up for you. If he's of age, but still under say, 25 yrs old or so, I can KINDA understand his nervousness, especially if the two of you are still under parents roofs, and they would disagree. You need to be out on your own, and independent first. If you have to mov
  19. Hawk

    Marriage

    Marla, You didn't mention where you are, (and DON'T) but, as a mod I can have a little peek. So, where my look-up is showing you, if it is correct, then, no, you can't. You would have to locate to a State where it is legal. If you are first cousins, and where I'm showing you as being, you do not want to have a physical relationship either. It's considered a felony. You're not in what I consider the worst State, but, probably #2 on the list. If you have extremely deep pockets, and would spoil for the fight, you could probably get the law overturned. It is the most recent one to have been en
  20. Actually, I don't think I can do that, so, I'll quote you, right before I smack you, so others of your ilk can see you were here, but weren't able to stay. c'est la vie
  21. Yes you are johnstone, and now you get the banhammer, right after I take your BS spam link out of your post. BAM. HAHAHA
  22. dimpy23, You'll be looking for something like this... http://www.sybaris.com/
  23. AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH Too late. I don't type fast enough, LOL
  24. Probably because it is a topic which is on the mind of a good percentage of the folks who find their way here. Which goes to your point as well, Roma. It may be old, but, at almost 171 thousand views, as best as I can tell without searching back through all the threads, it is the most viewed thread here by far. The next most viewed thread, with just a cursory check, it the "first time you kissed your cousin" thread. It has a little less than half as many, at 80 some odd thousand views. I know the spiders have ran that total up considerably. I see spiders on those threads regularly. Which means
  25. Ek Jigyasu, I've removed your FB profile just as I would have if you had posted your e-mail. Whether you realize it or not, you are asking for trouble, such as blackmail and spam. We don't allow open posting of e-mail addresses, and, as a Mod, I'm going to take it upon myself to now add FB profiles to that. I have no doubt the other Mods and Admins will concur. I'm going to link you to another thread I locked. When I do, you'll see why I locked it, and why I'm linking this thread to it. Please follow my advice as spelled out in that thread. https://www.cousincouples.com/forum/
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