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Hawk

Moderator
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Everything posted by Hawk

  1. Romalee, Well then don't show him this, but I needed a new one, and got, A NEW CHAINSAW... (He says in his best "Price is Right" voice) LOL
  2. Dhannu singh, I approved your post so I may educate you perhaps. We do realize that in India, according to customs, cousins are like siblings. However, scientifically, THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS COUSIN SISTER OR COUSIN BROTHER. PERIOD. This notion of yours is the major part of why there is so much wailing and gnashing of teeth among hysterical family members, when cousins happen to fall in love in India. For the life of me, I will never understand how a population that is generally accepted as being among the best scientifically educated in the world does not seem to be able to grasp th
  3. ^^^ Yup, what LadyC said, and that they would do that isn't surprising, at least to me. The young lady mentioned does that with me, and, I'm relatively sure the son does it with my brothers, who he's spent considerably more time with than I. I do see the lad on occasion, but he's such a shy youngster, he's pretty quiet around me. I'm trying to remember if he calls me "Uncle" too, and have a feeling I may have heard him refer to me as such. He lives with his mother, but fairly close to his Dad, and spends considerable time with his Dad. But, his Dad only brings him to our private club on the ra
  4. leafoflove, Funny you should say that actually. "Uncle" ______ ___'s son, who calls Mom and Cuz's Mom "Aunt", has a daughter and son. I've not spent so much time around the son, but the daughter, when she was young, was flower girl in my last wedding. She's grown into a charming young woman, and, having the history, calls ME "Uncle"_____. So yeah, don't feel too bad about it, take it as a compliment, and the term of endearment that it is....
  5. leafoflove, And, your Grandma's Sister's Daughter, whom you have listed as "Aunt" is actually your Mother's first cousin, making her your 1st cousin once removed, not Aunt. Meaning, as LadyC said, the primary relationship horizontally on the family tree is first cousins, between her Mom and your Mom. You are "one generation removed" from that level, hence, 1st cousins once removed, or as abbreviated around here, 1C1R. Don't feel too bad about it though. Me and mine are second cousins. Our Grandfathers were brothers. Our Mom's have a male first cousin by our Grandfathers' youngest brot
  6. Tom182, You're smart in not sending it, I'm telling you. It may be more daunting, and you will have to man up, but face to face when the time is right is, IMHO, the ONLY way to do it. You may be being selfish, but yes, we are all only human, and we get impatient. Believe me when I tell you you DO need a distraction. Until such time as there would be the possibility of a relationship, it's none of your parent's business. Even if they wouldn't care, why have them laugh you off over it??? Bide your time. I don't recall how old you are, but I'm going to go back and look. My intention is to mak
  7. WM126, Well, first off, do a little reading around here, and see if you can find what we call my "broken record speech" to young members. If you can't, get back with me, and I'll pm you a rather windy version I need to polish up a bit, and see if we can make a sticky out of it. I (hopefully) am laid off for at least a few more weeks, and will try to find the time to do so. Next, you are wrong. Just because you are in your mid-teens does not mean nobody cares. I'm an old fart, in my 50's now, but I've not killed so many brain cells that I don't remember 15. I got in here to advise a youn
  8. Akshay, Nice. That always helps, having a partner on the same page.... :wink:
  9. loli, I'm not sure of any currently active members who have children together. I know there have been several couples here who have posted about their children. The old picture thread even had several pictures. One of our former admins and his cousin had a son, a fine young man who graduated with honors. Several others posted either pics and/or stories of how their children were fine. I only know of one member who's children had the issues noted as being a possibility. And I don't want to make light of it in any way either. The children did have a quite serious condition. But, they were get
  10. Akshay, Once again, you need to double check and be absolutely sure about the legalities of it, BUT, if the breakdown looks like what I posted, so far as we know, being here in the US and having a hard enough time deciphering OUR laws, it should be legal. I'm also curious as to if she shares your feelings, and is willing to withstand the drama. Many times the woman faces much more crap than the man. She'll have to be willing to put her foot down too, and stand by you.
  11. MrClassified007, I'm going to link you over to the thread and my reply to Tom182, who is in a quite similar situation..... https://www.cousincouples.com/forum/index.php/topic,8246.0.html
  12. Tom182, Feel free to make the changes LadyC has recommended, save them to that file, then save the file, and for the time being DON'T send it. If she's with someone else, you stay aware of her relationship status FROM A DISTANCE. If she gets out of the relationship, get in contact, and if things go well enough, THEN send it. I know it's eating you up holding it inside. But, if she's happily with someone, you're risking coming off as creeping on her, and her having a major freak-out on you. Even if she's NOT in the happiest of relationships, all of this needs to be done face to face. It
  13. Just someone also inlove, If you would, go back up and read my advice to the OP in this thread. It's going to be a little different in your case, because you've already had the old "if you weren't my cousin" talk. You are also borderline old enough to have what we here loosely call "The Talk", where you openly discuss your feelings with each other in a sober and adult manner. You mentioned your country being a possible problem, as well as family. You (wisely, IMHO) didn't mention what country, so, I won't either. But, kinda another one of those "good news/bad news" deals for you. As a
  14. Akshay, I'm going to try to follow this, tell me if I've got it right. Woman Sister (siblings) Your grandpa Her Mom (1st cousins) Your Mom Her (2nd cousins) You If this is how it looks, then you two are second cousins (primary relationship of her and your Mom) "once" (one generation in the family tree) removed. That is second cousins once removed. If I'm reading it as your Great-grandmother's sister's grand-daughter, this is how you are related. So far as we know, from second cousins on out, it is legal to marry everywhere we k
  15. cross514, I'll agree with LadyC, and perhaps give you a little further food for thought. One, there are no known MILD disorders directly related to offspring of cousins that I'm aware of. There may be varying degrees of severity, but the conditions we're talking about here are quite serious indeed. If you had one of them, you'd know it. By the same token, they are extremely rare, even among communities where arranged cousin marriages are the norm. Only in select communities are the exaggerated numbers noted. And those are presumed to be related to a phenomenon called "Founders Effect"
  16. sam675, My advice still stands, and, I'll add that she has to know that culturally, even though her parents aren't cousins like yours, it isn't something to totally rule out of hand. She genuinely may not see you in the same light as you see her, and you may have to face that, hard as that my be. But, I'm telling you, she's thinking. Right now, she's got you in the "friendzone". Good for her, but sux being you, feeling the way you do. While it's hard to get out of the friendzone, it's not impossible. It usually takes her getting crapped on by some asshat, to realize she need not put u
  17. arjun55, Roma is right. We HIGHLY discourage these fake wedding deals. Eventually, they WILL be found out, and you will have 4 times the drama. Your best option is for you to move to the UK where it IS legal, and, if she's so inclined as you, get married. Find your own roof, and your own way. I'm not real sure as to how you would have a harder life in the UK than you would pretty much anywhere in Asia. Since this sort of scheme seems to be the best idea you've seen, I'll assume you are Hindu Indian. That is where the vast majority of these schemes get concocted. Unless you are at the upper
  18. rtorres07, Well, if he's backing up, it's probably because of BS drama out of his Mom or someone in the family. He's old enough to not put up with it. He needs to step up and nip it now, before he finds himself without you, choking on her apron strings. You need to let him know that there is no legitimate reason the two of you can't be together. All he has to do is put his foot down and not accept any grief or drama over it. If he still won't grow a set and stand up to them, then, as hard as it is, you may have to move on. If YOU have no stomach for their BS, that may as well include YO
  19. Kylie123, You're close, but not exactly how I would handle it. sam675, Kylie123 is right in that you don't want to shut her out and get upset about it. BUT, for now, the topic is dropped. Leave it dropped. She's admitted in the back of her mind occasionally she DOES entertain the thought. LET HER, without bringing it to the fore. Sooner or later, if she thinks about it enough to warm to the idea, she'll find the opportunity to bring it up again. The conversation will probably start out along the lines of " Now I don't want to upset you, but...." When it does, you DON'T let it upset yo
  20. influx4567, YUP That ^^^ right thar. Unlucky has said virtually the exact things I was thinking when I read your post. Nice work UIL.... :kiss:
  21. rtorres07, Your biggest issue at hand is his current relationship with the mother of his children. If it isn't completely over and settled, you need to back off until it is. You don't mention where you are, and I won't either. We stay anonymous here, and I do my best as a mod to see to it. (* see p.s.) Anyhow, where you are, (provided my look-up is correct, and it's pretty good) it's perfectly legal for you two to have whatever relationship you choose, up to and including marriage. So, that takes away the "cousin" issue as far as custody/visitation of his kids is concerned. BUT, that needs
  22. Ilr, You shut him down, tell him he's a little too long in the tooth for you, and really should focus on his marriage....
  23. andolin, I agree with LadyC, and I'll add my two cents if you don't mind. I agree that this probably won't come as any shock to your Mom. Or anyone else in the family for that matter. You now understand why we tell our young members to keep it on the down low until you are of age, ( I personally recommend to wait until right about the age you presently are) and THEN go for it. I'll also remind you to NOT let this interfere with your studies. You are also most likely a case study for why I always say that initially, the keeping it under wraps/sneaking around is exhilarating, but eventual
  24. Kylie123, We remind our members every so often that cousins are people too, with all the good qualities AND flaws we all share. It's probably been a while since one of us have reminded our members and guests of this, so, it's my turn to do so again. Folks come here with stars in their eyes and a spring in their step, and sooner or later, the reality of this fact comes into play, and the bloom comes off the rose, as it were. I'm not saying you in particular, seeing as how you did have at least some idea this could be the outcome. And, your case is one of the more extreme examples, though pro
  25. Hawk

    I need help

    kc123, I really wish you'd found your way here sooner, but, you're here now, so, here goes. You're going to get the broken record speech. Some of it you probably aren't going to like, but, if you'll pay close attention, I'll assure you, eventually, you'll be glad you did. Before we get too far into it, let's have a little peek and get a general idea where you are. You (wisely) didn't get overly specific, so trust me, I won't either. But, being a mod has it's privileges, and I avail myself of them discretely often, only for the best interest of our members. Ok, I'm back. As I said, I'll
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