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恋しいのうめ

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恋しいのうめ last won the day on October 3 2016

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About 恋しいのうめ

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  1. 恋しいのうめ

    WARNING about tv media using gmail addresses

    I got the same thing. I also got one a few hours ago from a user named Rob.
  2. 恋しいのうめ

    can parallel cousin Couples have a Healthy child

    My husband and I are first cousins and related through our mothers. We have a healthy child together. That is proof right there!
  3. 恋しいのうめ

    Finally Living as a Couple ?

    That's great you guys! Congrats!
  4. My husband/cousin says your cousin is a shriveled appendage. Dump him and move on asap. You deserve better than this guy.
  5. Western media potrays cousin relationships as a sick joke and they are hardly shown at all. The public focuses too much on the ick factor and the potential genetic defects within offspring produced by cousin couples. Even my medical record shows my marriage to my cousin as an ongoing health issue. I don't think the Western world is becoming more accepting of cousin couples. It would be legal in more states if it was!
  6. 恋しいのうめ

    My Cousin Life In A Big Nutshell... Sorry...

    Meadows, I can't say exactly what your relatives intentions are when they say those comments about you. I do think you are reading too much into it, just let it go for now. As for your cousin and your feelings for her, there really isn't much to do in terms of trying to conceal your feelings while confronting her about hers. You can try asking hypothetical questions to test the waters; ask her how she feels about cousins getting together. If she doesn't like the idea don't press the issue further and leave it at that. If you get the feeling she is ok with the idea go into more specifics, like asking her how she feels about you. Keep going from there until you get to admitting your feelings. If she rejects you don't worry. You are still very young and you have your whole life ahead of you. As for your dreams about your hypothetical daughter, dreams have a weird way of telling us what's on our minds and this issue definitely is weighing heavily in yours. Telling your cousin how you feel may help you "control "them somewhat.
  7. 恋しいのうめ

    three years later, a story to help cousins

    I'm glad everything worked out between you and your cousin and at least some of your family supports you. I hope you and your cousin continue to be happy and have financial stability soon. I recently had a healthy son with my husband/cousin as well. I'm glad there are others that have had healthy children. Although it sucks that consanguineous marriage will continue to be labeled as an ongoing health problem on my medical record at least it's not a huge factor in determining my future children's health.
  8. 恋しいのうめ

    Need advice...

    The only thing you can do to live happily with your cousin with the least amount of damage is to move off to another country without explaining your true intentions. If you don't tell them they would never have to worry about it. Ignorance is bliss in this case. However, if you really want to let them know there is nothing you can do to minimize the damage. How they decide to take the news is up to them. The best thing you can do is to research both sides of the argument and arm yourself with facts so you will both be informed when you try to explain this to them. You will be able to argue against any opposing evidence they might throw at you. I will tell you now that if they are as against this as most conservative parents are, they will do and say anything to get you guys to split up. Their "best" tactic is to try to get you with guilt, do not give in to it. The worst thing they can do is physical violence. Just steel yourselves to take any tactic they decide to use. It's going to be a tough fight and a long, ruinous road ahead if you decide to choose this route. If the two of you stay strong and keep your cause in mind then the battle will be worth it.
  9. 恋しいのうめ

    Need advice...

    Yan x Yan, Welcome to the forum! There are quite a few members from the Philippines on here, some that were actually married successfully (though probably not legally) so your goal is not totally impossible. However, it would definitely be a lot easier if the two of you immigrate to a country that accepts cousin marriage. As a Filipino living in the US I can relate when it comes to conservative families. My husband/cousin just told his mother about us and our son a week ago (thread on the issue can be found below) and she did not take it well at all. At worst case scenario, your cousin may need to choose between you or her family if she cannot convince them to accept with facts. It will be very difficult but as long as you remain strong and stay positive about your future together the two of you will be fine. Again, taking refuge within each other may be easier if you went to a different country and never turned back. If your cousin is worried about having children there are plenty of couples here who have had healthy children. My husband and I have a normal, healthy son together and we plan. on having more. For extra peace of mind consider going to a genetic counselor. Just be sure you have extensive knowledge of diseases that run in your families. My husband and I did this while I was pregnant with my son but I suggest doing this before trying to conceive. We are going to try to do more thorough testing before conceiving our second child. A good result may also help in your argument against your parents.
  10. 恋しいのうめ

    Cousin Couples Success Stories

    My story here: We are happily married and have one healthy son but we plan on having more children. We may not have familial bonds by blood but we have wonderful, supportive friends that love our son.
  11. 恋しいのうめ

    In Desperate Need of Advice/Support/Answers/Guidance

    Welcome to the board! Serendipity is quite right, your cousin is old enough to make his own decisions. It takes a really strong couple to make a relationship between two cousins work. If disapproval from his parents are what is stopping him from a potentially long and happy relationship, then that is his choice. If you love something let it go and if it comes back then you know it's meant to be. Give him some time to think about it on his own. Support him through this tough experience, let him know you'll still be there for him when he needs it. If he loves you, he will come back. I am glad you are willing to accept the consequences if he doesn't come back, but what if he does? Are you willing to put up with all the potential dirty looks and snide comments because of your relationship? Do you accept that people will probably get hurt from this?
  12. 恋しいのうめ

    me and my Cousin are falling in love

    purplexy54, Hawk has given you excellent advice, as always. You are not going to burn in hell because of your feelings for your cousin. God gave you these feelings for him for a reason, but he also gave you the free will to do as you want with those feelings. I don't think God will hate you if you decide to act upon them one day. I'm glad you have a good plan and you are sticking to it. You know you always have support here on those days where you feel like crying. :hug:
  13. 恋しいのうめ

    me and my Cousin are falling in love

    purpleplexy54, Welcome to the forums, first of all! :biggrin: Before you decide to do anything, the first thing would be to sit down and do a bit of thinking/talking with your cousin about your current situation, starting with how you both feel about cousin relationships. Do either of you feel the your feelings for each other are wrong at all? If so, I would suggest stopping right now while you are ahead. Any bit of doubt between the two of you would only make your relationship that much more difficult to handle. Cousin relationships are definitely not for the weak, it usually comes with a lot of drama (depending on your family background and both you and your cousin's living situations). If you decide that the both of you don't want this, then I suggest cutting ties off with your cousin for a while so that the two of you could move on in peace. If the two of you are indifferent, then the next thing would be to ask whether the two of you are able to handle a long distance relationship. As if being in a cousin relationship isn't already difficult enough, being in a long distance relationship makes things even more difficult. You are more prone to become lonely and yearn for the company of the other person a lot more, causing a lot of heartache and stress if you aren't emotionally strong enough to handle a relationship like this. If you both are willing and ready, then Skype (or other video chatting services) and your phones would be your best friends. Also, depending on your living situations, making efforts to see each other would also be a good idea. If the two of you are still living with family, it might also be a good idea to get your lives settled before pursuing the relationship seriously. Just take your relationship slowly and get to know each other, as daughterofeve said. Make sure the two of you are both emotionally mature enough to handle a steady relationship and be prepared for a long emotional battle with the family, if necessary (depending on your cultural background). Also, be sure you both are seriously committed to each other before telling the family anything. As for your situation with Nicholas, it is up to you whether or not you would like to keep him around. It really depends on which option you pick. If you choose the first option, do you think you could learn to love Nicholas the way he loves you if you choose to pursue a relationship with him? I don't think it would be quite fair to him if you used him as a means to get over your cousin, even if your intentions in the end will grow to be good. If you would like to pursue a relationship with Nicholas in the event that your cousin rejects, I would suggest waiting until you are fully over your feelings for your cousin first. It wouldn't be fair to him if he was just the rebound. You could also choose to keep Nicholas around as a valuable friend in the event that you feel you are not ready for a relationship in general. Just don't instill any false hopes of a relationship within him or else things will get awkward. In the event that you and your cousin decide to pursue relationship with each other, I don't think it would be fair to Nicholas if you kept him as a "back up" in case things don't work out between you and your cousin. I would suggest either keeping him strictly as a friend (if he can handle seeing you happy with someone else) or cutting ties with him if you can. You can tell Nicholas as nicely as you can that you actually are in love with someone else and would like to be friends instead. Just do it quickly, smoothly, and without instilling any false hope of a relationship in the event that you and your cousin decide to break things off. In conclusion, just tell Nicholas the truth. If he really loves you like he says he does, he would understand. I hope this long essay helps. Good luck and give us frequent updates! :ok:
  14. The first time I kissed my cousin was quick but gentle. It was when he went to visit me at my house after school and before he had to go to work. I think we were mulling over how "morally and socially wrong" it was in his mind despite how magical it felt so that's why it wasn't as long as we both would have liked. Overall, it was a very nice kiss. Too bad it had to end so soon... At least now that we're together we'll be able to have lots of kisses without having to think about it. =)
  15. 恋しいのうめ

    Cousin in the philippines,my story so far

    Awww he's so cute!!! Congratulations to the both of you, he's such a beautiful boy.
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