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ebbe

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About ebbe

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  1. ebbe

    Together At Last

    Wow, thanks for the replies. D: Im glad you liked my previous post. I know that it cant be easy for her, she must have many conflicting emotions as a girl of her age must have. I try not to be pushy and try to talk to her casually and such. Once in a while i try and text her, but she takes hours or even days to write back, and then it is short and neutral answers. I wrote her a handwritten letter for her 18th birthday last summer, it went something like; "You are a sweet and wonderfull girl, i allways appreciated our time together" and so on, very platonic. And then i mentioned this tension between us and rounded of with that i loved her, but not exactly in what way. The idea was to not scare her away and see how she would react. I only saw her twice since then and both times she was more chatty than usual, but abit more distant. One thing i have noticed is that after people start moving around at gettogethers, she allways finds her way to sit next to me. Also when im conversating with someone, i can see her staring at me intensely. For now it feels like we are stuck and that it will take time. Even though every second feels like a year, i will wait a thousand lifetimes if i have to. I am just afraid she might settle with someone else, and i would be crushed if she ever brought a boyfriend around even though i realize it might be good if she tried dating other guys so she might realize im the one for her. Oh man when i start writing i just keep going, sorry for the long post
  2. ebbe

    Cousins hiding feelings from you?

    Thank you Nessa, may you also find what you seek if only it was that easy samapartofamy, if only ..
  3. ebbe

    Together At Last

    I could barely read through that, because after the first part i was already crying like a waterfall! Through my tear filled eyes i read onwards and i started sobbing uncontrollably. When i reached the end of your story, i was filled with hope and a most beautifull sadness. Thank you for sharing your story, and may you live in peace and happiness for a very long time. Ebbe
  4. ebbe

    Cousins hiding feelings from you?

    Hello there, guy from denmark here in love with my cousin (we are not together) After having repressed my feelings for her for a long time without realising it, i had a moment of absolute clarity almost like an epiphany. And all the feelings i had burried deep poured out into my conciousness. I then realised that the way she had been acting "wierd" around me for years, just staring at me with an intense and admiring gaze, and being akward around me. Was so obviously signs of her feelings towards me. She is quite abit younger than me and was about 14 when she started acting this way. I have always loved her more than any other person in my life, and was starting to have romantic feelings towards her which confused me greatly and therefore i suppresed them. I didnt see her much for the next couple of years as i was in the navy and also avoided seeing her i guess... We met a few times a year, and each time we didnt talk much like we used to when she was younger, and we just stared into each others eyes and forgot everything else around us. We have allways spent christmas eve together, however i missed a few during those years, but christmas 2012 it hit me like a hurricane... She was now 17 and absolutely gorgeous! long shiny blond hair, big blue eyes and a smile that would melt the heart of any man. As the day progressed we akwardly made conversation as we were the only 2 people under 50 The unbelievable tension that built between us was so powerfull.. i have never before felt something so amazing! We locked eyes and would stare into each others soul, it felt like we just sat there melting our souls together for what felt like hours. I felt higher than i ever have and it felt like my blood was on fire (in a good way) like a blood rush in the brain. Just typing this now and i almost feel like that again I felt so high, but also completely flabbergasted for weeks after. I couldnt think straight and walked around like a zombie just trying to process what had happened. I know she must have felt the same as me i could just sense it, but she hasnt let it show much since. Shes probably trying to process it as i am, the difference being that i am older than her (28) she is 18 now, and so naturally i am much more emotionally mature. We are talking better now, much less akward but still in a formal way. I try and initiate more physical contact (hugs and so on) but it is a slow process. But when i see her, she sometimes lets down her guard and gives me that special look, a look like i am the only other person in the world. I can feel her complete adoration for me and its almost like a telepathic bond, an electric energi that makes my heart go crazy. I understand that it must be very difficult for her, being so young and having these feelings for her 1st cousin, who is also much older than her. And so i try to give her space and not bother her to much, but it is hard. I have never felt this way for anyone else and doubt i ever will, in a way she has allways had my heart and will have it forever. I have all my life had an empty feeling inside of me, like a piece of me is missing. I have without thinking about it tried to fill the void with videogames, and later cannabis. I am recovering from porn addiction which made the emptiness go away for just a little while. The only times in my life when i can remember not feeling like that, have been in her company. When i am with her i feel no hunger, no thirst, sadness, anger, frustration. I feel tranquility and bliss, i am complete. (writing this made me very emotional, and i am crying my eyes out right now but it is a beautiful sadness, because it comes from the love i have for her. I know this became a bit of a novel about me and im sorry about that, but i hope you can relate to some of it atleast. I think about her every day, and see her out of the corner of my eye often, but it is not her ofcourse just someone who looks like her. Every time my phone makes a bip i get an adrenaline rush, but it is never her. Even though i am sad and miss her dearly, i have come to accept that we may never be and i find comfort just knowing that i love her. I think i will listen to some cheesy love songs now to cheer myself up Many greetings, ebbe.
  5. ebbe

    Getting it off my chest

    Hello sir. I would like to say that i agree with the replies so far, you are a true gentleman. However i feel like i should play the devils advocate a bit here, to give som contrast. I can relate very much to your statement that you have never felt love like this before, it is exactly how i would describe my own feelings (also for a younger cousin, 10 year difference) I thought as you did for a long time, ignoring my feelings and suppresing them so strongly, that i didnt even realize what they were. After having been building for years, it all came out last christmas, we spent together. We spent the whole day just staring at each other, connecting in an almost telepathic way. It was so intense that the sorrounding world became a blur and i lost all sense of time and space. having had now 9 months(and seeing her several times since) to analyze this, i have arrived at clarity. Not only am i in love with her, after having allways loved her dearly. but she must feel as i do. If i try to put myself in her place; what would she want ? I think that she would like to act on her feelings just as much as i do, but because of her young age, and the social stigmas and norms, and that the man should be the initiator, she is holding back. I dont know your situation, but it seems similar to mine, and many other stories i have seen at this site. The hesetation. I could not possibly know what its like to be married and then develop these feelings, but i feel like i must say this; Not following ones emotions and desires only leads to an unhappy life. Your honour and morals are admirable, but ultimately incompatible with your true feelings. I would therefore say, dont let the feelings eat you up inside. If nothing else, tell her how you feel. Getting it out will lessen your burden and expressing it may shed some new light on it. Having had several near death experiences in my life, i have realized that life is to short to deny oneself happiness. I better stop rambling now. When i get started, its hard for me to stop again :smiley: I know what im saying is very drastic, but we could all drop dead tomorrow. And for me atleast, that makes it all seem that much more urgent. Best regards, ebbe the red haired scandinavian viking :wink:
  6. I agree, the time to act is now ! Even though its scary, you should go for it. When you meet her again and the next "but her face was kinda like she was waiting for something special.." moment arrises, dont say anything, just look her deep in the eyes, and slowly go in for the kiss. When fear holds you back, think about how much you have to gain, and how little you have to lose! Telling her how you feel would also be a good move, but it might not come out the way you imagine and you might not get a straight answer. The other way will tell you right away how things are. It seems like the only thing holding her back is the whole social stigma thing, which is silly but very hardcoded in many of us. And by taking the lead, you will give her the chance to go beyond it. I would give you atleast a 90% chance of succes and in the unlikelyhood that she pulls away or says something, you can tell her how you feel and that there is nothing wrong with those kinds of feelings, etc. As i see it, you are a very lucky man to be in a situation, that many wish they could be. Meaning that the signals she is sending are very clear. When fear holds you back, just imagine the courage people have shown in 2 world wars, and travelling in giant rockets to the moon. Having no fear is easy, doing something in the face of fear is the greatest thing any of us can do. Use it to give you strength, instead of letting it stop you. I believe in you, you can do this ! and remember: Do not apologize for the way you feel, be and look confident and sweep her of her feet Good luck. Ebbe. (I will be cheering for you, and would love an update whatever may happen)
  7. Hall?j landsmand. F?rst vil jeg rose dig for et velskrevet indl?g. Jeg kunne virkelig leve mig ind i din historie, og jeg er overbevist om at din kusine geng?lder dine f?lelser. Jeg selv er ogs? plaget af tvivl og t?ven, men i mods?tning til min egen situation, er det nogle ret st?rke signaler din kusine lader til at sende. Hvis jeg var i din situation ville jeg nok flirte noget mere, is?r fysisk kontakt er enormt vigtigt. Det nedbryder gr?nser og f?rer til mere fysisk kontakt. Start med at l?gge en h?nd p? hendes arm n?r du vil ha hendes opm?rksomhed, f?r hende gennem en d?r ved at s?tte din h?nd p? hendes ryg osv. Den slags ber?ring skaber n?rhed, og virker ikke alt for ?benlys. Sp?rg hende om hun vil se en film, en gyser eller skr?mmende film er godt, da hun rykker t?ttere p? dig hvis hun bliver lidt skr?mt. Eller ogs? en uskyldig film der tilf?ldigvis indeholder nogen uartige scener, som m?ske vil afsl?re hende lidt. Skru ned for varmen og s?rg for der kun er 1 t?ppe i rummet, s? i bliver n?d til at sidde t?t. L?g din arm om hende osv. Denne kontakt vil f?r eller siden lede til et ?jeblik, Hvis du er opm?rksom, som du selv kan regne ud hvad f?rer til. Kvinder flirter for at vise interesse, og det er s? op til manden at tage f?ringen, s?dan er det n?sten altid. Bolden er derfor i din banehalvdel s? at sige. Efter at have l?st mange historier p? denne side, lader det til at det som stopper mange er tabuet. Jeg selv undertrykte mine f?lelser s? meget i s? lang tid at jeg n?sten ikke vidste hvad jeg f?lte l?ngere. Men jeg er nu kommet over det "forkerte" aspekt i det hele, og har indr?mmet overfor mig selv hvordan jeg har det. Og pr?ver nu at v?kke samme ?benbaring i min kusine. I f?lge hvad du siger, lader det ikke til at tabuet generer hende, og det er nok kun digselv der d?jer med det. Dine f?lelser er smukke og reelle, og er helt naturlige og absolut intet at skamme sig over. I Danmark er vi efterh?nden s? ?bne, at det n?ppe kan genere nogen hvis i er sammen. Nu er vi jo allesammen forskellige, men jeg troede ogs? at mine f?lelser m?ske ville forsvinde, men de bliver st?rkere for hver gang jeg ser hende, og hun bliver kun smukkere og dejligere for hver dag der g?r. B?ndet mellem f?tre/kusiner er meget st?rkt, og k?rlighed mellem dem virker til at v?re meget st?rkere og mere holdbart end for fremmede. Og jeg vil derfor anbefale at du giver det et fors?g. Ligemeget hvad der sker er der INTET v?rre end at fortryde noget man ikke gjorde. Jeg ved ikke om mit vr?vl hj?lper noget, men du skal ihvertfald vide at der er andre derude som har det ligesom dig, og at det er helt normalt at have disse f?lelser. Hvis der er mere du vil snakke om s? skriv endelig. Vh Ebbe (p.s. jeg er 28 hun er 18)
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