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Serendipity

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Serendipity last won the day on April 23

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About Serendipity

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  1. Serendipity

    Found each other and in love

    The drama over telling our family often gets exaggerated in our minds. When I told my family, some were OK with it, some disapproved and some turned cold towards us over time. But being of a certain age (I'm 49), I really don't care about their approval. My two kids, who are now in their early 20's have been OK. The oldest was a bit disgruntled in the beginning, but has come around to acceptance. You will just have to come out and say it: "I've been dating a wonderful, delightful person who makes my heart skip a beat and gives me respect and loyalty" Don't expect any reaction, just share the joy. And don't let any drama ensue. If someone gets ridiculously upset, kiss 'em on the cheek and bid farewell for the moment. You have been given a chance at happiness and I would let everyone know that their reactions will not impede upon the pursuit of your happiness.
  2. Serendipity

    Forced To Seperate

    I'm sorry you felt compelled to separate; but nobody can force you to give up a relationship unless you give them the power to do so.
  3. Serendipity

    Need advice

    I'm married to my first cousin! If you poke around this site you'll find my story. I'm too lazy to do it myself 😀
  4. Serendipity

    Find parallel CC

    Why?
  5. There is nothing wrong with you. If there is, there is something seriously wrong with me because I married my 1st cousin! There is some good info on this site about the myth of the genetics fear. Read up, you'll be surprised! If you're family is so religious, then they should pull out their Bibles and learn the truth about cousin marriages. The most famous Biblical couple was Jacob, and Rachel. (I guess Leah makes them a trio). The only way to know if your cousin likes you is to do what you would do in any other similar situation: ask him out for coffee, to a concert or a movie. Spend time getting to know him. I'm throwing the rest of this in for good measure because I have children near your age and I guess I feel a little motherly today: You alluded to past abuse in your life. Please don't try to over analyze your relationship with men. If you need help processing the past, then find a good counselor.
  6. Serendipity

    What the heck should I do?

    If kindness were a sign, then I would have a crush on everyone I meet.
  7. Serendipity

    What the heck should I do?

    From what you've posted I don't really see any romantic interest on her part. It sounds like you have a crush on her and I suppose you should do what you'd do with any crush: ask her out for coffee, talk to her on the phone, try to see if there's a spark of anything to build on. Definitely do not confess to anything. There's nothing for you to confess to.
  8. Serendipity

    I'm madly in love

    No one can tell you how to become her best friend; that's one of the things that just happens between people over time. All you can do now is to talk to her when you can, but don't be a pest and bother her. This just may be one of the times in your life when you have to back off and wait for something you want. You're 16 and are likely to meet a girl later on that you really like and you may forget all about your cousin. You just don't know what life has in store for you.
  9. Serendipity

    I'm madly in love

    The age difference may be an issue right now. Not that 2 years is problematic, but simply that she is getting ready to head off to university and you are still in school at home and the timing is bad for you. This is a difficult time to embark on a new relationship with her. The best advice I can give is to spend as much time as you can with her right now; become her friend. If she does have a boyfriend, you will need to refrain from romantic overtures. Once she goes off to university, her world is going to change and enlarge and you are correct that she might find a young man there that she likes. And a long distance relationship is never easy. If things are meant to be between you two, then it will happen.
  10. You're the one who said you didn't love him the same way her loved you and that your feelings for him have reduced.... My advice stands: Walk away, move on with your life and let true love come to you. What you have described is a mess and much too complicated. Walk away and be happy.
  11. Don't let someone manipulate you into staying in a relationship with them. If he cries and carries on when you break up, he will be even worse in a marriage. If you don't love him, you don't love him. If he wants a relationship more than you do, that's his problem. You need to cut off all contact with him: No social media, don't respond to emails or texts or phone calls. The complications of child birth between cousins is very small; that's no reason not to pursue a relationship with a cousin. Being unsure of your feelings and feeling guilty for his reactions when you are not together. are perfectly good reasons not to pursue this relationship. You are responsible for you. He is responsible for himself. Walk away from this mess.
  12. Serendipity

    Catholic marriage

    Oh good gracious. Is there another parish church near you? Go to another parish priest for your wedding prep and marriage rite. Or even go to a whole other diocese. This is ridiculous.
  13. Serendipity

    Catholic marriage

    Does the priest know about your cousin-ness? Ecclesiastical law (not Canon Law) will not permit first cousin marriages in the Catholic church. However, you can be granted a dispensation by your Bishop. I would contact the Worship Office of your diocese ASAP and inquire about the dispensation. And for the record, I would keep mum about the cousin factor from now on. WY has fairly stern marriage laws where cousins are concerned.
  14. Serendipity

    My Story

    Cousin factor aside, she and her kids need time to breathe after the divorce. Even if her kids think the divorce is justified and claim they are OK with it, this is still a big change in their lives. Whatever you do, please go slowly and don't let the kids know you're involved until the two of you have been seeing each other for a good long while. It's not fair to the kids to expect them to feel hunky dory with Mom dating someone else right after their family has been torn apart. They need time to heal. I was divorced for 5 years before I started dating my cousin (now husband) and up till that time neither of my two kids met any other man I had dated (there weren't many....) and they had a difficult time processing the cousin factor. After two years of marriage, they have learned to tolerate, maybe even like, my hubby. They are now in their early 20's. It sounds to me like the attraction is mutual between you two. Don't give the online dating thing a second thought; it is not obstacle. My advice is to tell her how you feel but move slowly for the sake of her children.
  15. Serendipity

    Vice magazine article

    Nice article. Congrats!
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