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Serendipity

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Everything posted by Serendipity

  1. It's not unusual to still miss an old flame after an extended time. But your cousin has already given you an answer to how he feels by letting you go and not responding to your texts. My best advice? Break up with your current BF; you're being unfair to him. Then go about living your life. Find some girls you can hang out with, take an art class, develop your professional skills, volunteer, make yourself valuable to the Canadian economy; in other words, get outside of your regular routine and shake up your life a little bit. Eventually you will find someone you thinks you are the bees knees and your cousin will be a distant memory.
  2. Random Girl, I join CM in his advice. I don't think you are misunderstanding anything. He is testing you to see how far you will let him go. If he is significantly older than you, run away! Knowing your ages would be beneficial to better advice giving.
  3. Serendipity

    Wristband

    To borrow from the gay marriage movement: Love is Love.
  4. Awww, thanks for the warm reception! It's good to be back.
  5. Serendipity

    Love in bars

    I think there's an Indian thread on this site that you might find helpful. You may have to search a bit to find it. Good luck!
  6. I don't see the problem. You've already had a child together. I believe 2nd cousins are legal to marry anywhere in the U.S. Tell her that. Why would actual biology make a difference? Many (if not most) states place a caveat that the 1st cousin relationship is criminalized if the relationship is biological or through adoption. Methinks you are overthinking. Enjoy your life with her. The surest way to get dishonest answers or to get negative comments is post something like the above. Either come here seeking sincere advice, even if it's not what you want to hear, or go elsewhere.
  7. Oh ma Gerd. Stop creating new user names and make one post.
  8. The last 6 months have been a whirlwind for me. I started a new job, which means that I could let go of 3 others! I'm full-time Director of Music for a church and still have a handful of piano students, but I must say that I've been enjoying my new found free time. For 10 years I worked 3 or 4 jobs and almost killed myself doing so (literally). It's great to have some time to relax and check out what's happening here. I've missed y'all!
  9. Loved this movie! The book is great too!
  10. Sexting is non-committal. She is playing around with you. You made a promise to not hurt her, but she did not make the same promise to you. She is thrilled by the taboo of being cousins and that ignites the sexting, but she has no interest whatsoever in being in a relationship with you. It's time to move on and look elsewhere my friend.
  11. Gender bias? Okay.... I never said poems are childish. But writing poems to a girl who has made it clear that she has no romantic interest in you borders on the inappropriate. You're the one who mentioned googly eyes, poems, her leaving the area and brothers running interference between the two of you. While I'm no mind reader I am good at picking up on signals. You don't really need to be a good signal reader to understand what's happening here. I gave you help: Move on with your life and make yourself open to the possibility of a relationship. Once you take the first step, it gets easier. But if you want us to tell you how to make her like you, you've come to the wrong place. No one can do that for you. And she doesn't like you; that's quite evident. If you don't move on things are going to get very difficult between the two of you and it won't be her fault.
  12. Whoa! Seriously?! Some people need something meaningful to occupy themselves with instead of worrying about what's what between cousins.
  13. Dude. You like her. She doesn't like you. My comments still stand. You are young and think you're in love. If you don't want advice, then stop clogging up the threads. Actually, you are the one who needs to grow up. Writing her poems? No wonder she's creeped out. She doesn't want to share her feelings with you because she doesn't like you in a romantic way. The truth is, she may not like you in any way. I don't know. But she's giving you plenty of signs that she wants you to leave her alone. And she can't possibly be taking advantage of you; she doesn't want anything from you. Leave her alone! Go out and live life. You never know who might be around the corner.
  14. Prowl around this site for info about birth defects. Do a Google search. Read a science journal. You'll get the same answer. The risk of genetic defects to children of cousins is only slightly higher than anyone else. It's about the same as a woman in her 40's having a child. Lots of races marry knowing that there's a genetic risk to their children: African Americans (Sickle Cell), Askenazi Jews (Cystic Fibrosis and Tay-Sachs). If you are concerned about genetic factors, you can get tested.
  15. There's no need to tell others about your cousin-ness unless you want them to know. And if folks reject you because of this, then they are not true friends. When people ask how my cousin husband and I met I tell them that we have known each other since childhood and reconnected as adults: the truth without too many details always works. Don't let fear rule your life!
  16. Dude. You like her. She doesn't like you. You think you're in love. You're not. Could be that she views you as being a bit creepy (for a lack of a better term). Following her around and giving her "looks" will just make her think you're creepier. She has apparently picked up on your crush and has told others. She is not amused. Move on with your life and be open to the possibility of someone special walking into your life. You may be missing out by pining for your cousin.
  17. Ambra_Flows: It is true that some states make it illegal to have sex with your 1st cousin, It depends upon how incest is defined in that state.
  18. We are not lawyers and cannot give out legal advice. You need to talk to an immigration lawyer/specialist. I'm sure there's also info on the US Immigration web page.
  19. My cousin DID marry someone else. So did I. I went to his wedding (after my divorce) and tried to talk him out of it. I bit my tongue, went on with my life and some years later when he had divorced, we got together. Finally!
  20. becca I'm not surprised that you received the dispensation at all. Marriages between a Catholic and a non-Catholic Christian are almost always declared valid in the eyes of the Church. And civil marriages between two Catholics is almost always recognized. As the Director of Music for the Catholic church, I've seen many marriages between two Catholics that did not include a Mass; this is often done when few, if any, of the family and friends are Catholic and it helps to relieve the awkwardness of the bride and groom being the only ones to receive communion. My concern, Like CM stated, is that the priest would not knowingly bless a marriage that he knew to be illegal in the state and thus his hands were tied. Marrying outside of your diocese is done all the time in the Catholic church. A valid Catholic marriage results from four elements: (1) the spouses are free to marry; (2) they freely exchange their consent; (3) in consenting to marry, they have the intention to marry for life, to be faithful to one another and be open to children; and (4) their consent is given in the presence of two witnesses and before a properly authorized Church minister. Exceptions to the last requirement must be approved by church authority. And obviously, older couples beyond child bearing age are not restricted from a valid Catholic marriage.
  21. A wedding is a time for celebration. If someone isn't supportive of your relationship, don't invite them to the wedding! I married my 1st cousin two years ago. It was a very simple ceremony with only approving family members and friends there. Actually, the friends didn't know about our cousin factor because I didn't feel it was important to divulge that information. If you're worried about what others will think then you're not ready to be married. I was proud and giddy to marry the love of my life.
  22. The drama over telling our family often gets exaggerated in our minds. When I told my family, some were OK with it, some disapproved and some turned cold towards us over time. But being of a certain age (I'm 49), I really don't care about their approval. My two kids, who are now in their early 20's have been OK. The oldest was a bit disgruntled in the beginning, but has come around to acceptance. You will just have to come out and say it: "I've been dating a wonderful, delightful person who makes my heart skip a beat and gives me respect and loyalty" Don't expect any reaction, just share the joy. And don't let any drama ensue. If someone gets ridiculously upset, kiss 'em on the cheek and bid farewell for the moment. You have been given a chance at happiness and I would let everyone know that their reactions will not impede upon the pursuit of your happiness.
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