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Everything posted by Serendipity

  1. Did you just call me a MF? Being rude is replying in the exact same childish manner as your first post. If you want advice about a grown up problem, then be an adult, learn to present your written thoughts in a mature fashion, don't call a others names, and don't threaten me with "You're lucky I'm in a good mood". What the hell is that suppose to me anyway? You are the lucky one that I am not banning your sorry little arse from this board
  2. Ha - I didn't look at the date of the posting either; if it's at the top of my feed I assume it's something new. Guess my dad was right about assuming....
  3. Surely at the age of 34 you have learned how to use punctuation. I won't read this until you go back and instead some periods, commas, upper case letters, etc
  4. Seriously folks, what the heck is going on here? I'm banning you Ragasskiss/Anonymous if you don't stop talking about your private, personal fantasies and actions. This is a site for serious relationships; not for those who wish to rouse our ire.
  5. Ummmmm, what should you do? Go away. Far, far away
  6. This is no riddle. She is married so you should NOT make a move on her.
  7. Distant relationships are not easy, especially for new ones. You need to weigh lots of pros and cons to even consider going down that road. You are never going to know how he feels unless you bring it up. You can do it in a lighthearted manner so that you have an escape route if the conversation goes awry.
  8. You should leave her alone. She has a boyfriend. There is no way for us to know if you are discerning too much into these little things. If you want to test the waters you could reminiscence about the past and ask her, "Would you ever really date me if we weren't cousins?" and then see where the conversation leads
  9. They are bluffing. There is no grounds for "throwing you into a mental institute". As for the shunning - maybe they will. But you can't control their behavior. You are in a a pickle as far as financial aid goes. You can declare yourself independent from your family - if you want/can to go down that road. This is how I see things: You are willing to draw the line in the sand for a young man who is joining the military and whom you won't get to see very much over the next 4 years; you will have school obligations and he will have military obligations. If you were one of my daughter (my daughters are college age), I would advise you to stay open to dating during the college years. You are young and you have no idea what the next 4 years may bring. If this romance with your distant cousin is meant to be, it will weather the separation. But you do realize that the odds are against the two of you? I don't say that to be pessimistic - only realistic. Keeping a relationship secret is not easy and not fun. If you can avoid it, I would encourage you to do so.
  10. I know you didn't ask for this kind of advice, but I'm gonna say it anyway. Do you really want to live a life of secrecy? It will get old real quick - real quick. Are you so concerned about what others might think that you're willing to live like that? I mean think this through - holidays will be spent with family who don't love you enough to wish for your happiness. You will be giving up so very, very much for people who presumably don't want you to find love. I would think this through carefully. You won't be able to hide it for long; do you really want to?
  11. He's interested in one thing. Sex. If that's what you want, fine, but don't expect more from him. If you don't want the explicit text messages, you must tell him in very direct terms to stop. If he doesn't stop, then you know where his respect meter for you lies. Seriously, what kind of advice do you want?
  12. I'm sorry you're going through this. However, the waters have been muddied because you got involved with a married man. Separated or not, going through a divorce or not, he is still married and adult children are much more aware of this dynamic than even teenage children, You need to back way away from this man right now. Let him take care of business with his wife (even if she behaving horribly). Once the divorce is final AND things have calmed down with his children, then maybe the two of you can start again.
  13. We really don't care about your smoking habits. I'm tempted to delete those parts of this post because we have minors peruse this site and we in no way do we want to be seen as condoning that kind of behavior. You like her. She likes you. I don't see the problem. Proceed slowly and you should find out soon enough if the two of you are a good match.
  14. KC: Your response is exactly why I responded the way I did. I really think she is just trying to get under our skin
  15. Does anybody else get confused with people asking stupid questions like this?
  16. Hmmm. I don't know. Maybe she does, maybe she doesn't. I can't tell. She was quick to jump to the family tie. She turned down your offer to wait for her. I'm thinking, no. She has kids and that is her priority. Coming out of my divorce, even though I went out on dates my first year following, I didn't want a serious relationship and she may be in that exact situation following her breakup. I presume she broke up with her long term boyfriend? The father of her children?
  17. In the future Chanel, only post your question in one thread. There's no reason to post it multiple times. Sometimes it takes a day or two for folks around here to respond. And look through the information pages. Sometimes your question can be answered just by doing a little digging around here.
  18. Me likey. It looks very professional.
  19. Sorry it's been a while for this response; I've had technical difficulties with this site. I don't think you want advice, I think you want to vent.You state that you only want to be friends and at the same time say you "can't turn off an attraction". Which is it? Of course you can turn off an attraction; you stop communicating, stop talking, stop texting, and you move on. It takes time, but eventually you move on.
  20. So sorry you're going through all this. You haven't given us enough information to give you any advice. Surely there is more substantive information that you could tell us. I don't want to sound snarky, but what you've posted is something to gripe to your best friend about.
  21. But these patterns of communication are not unique to anyone. Everyone who has ever been in the dating scene has had interactions like this. EVERYONE has experienced similar confusion We deal with the patterns by completely walking away and moving on with life. You are allowing yourself to be confused by thinking that his patterns of behavior are unique to him and your situation. And you're allowing yourself to stay embroiled in what you perceive to be circumstances beyond your control. I guess I'm not really sure what kind of advice your looking for. What you are describing is typical jerk behavior. He knows you want more and so he'll go long periods without communication and then reach out to you; for what purpose? You will never be able to have open and free communication with him. I'm not sure why you would want to.
  22. I can sense that you are hurting terribly and I don't want you to feel like I am adding coals to the fire; but I am going to speak very bluntly to you. He gave you a ring? Big deal. Men have been known to do that just to keep a woman hanging around. If he really loved you he would've moved out of the shadows and into the light of your love. You deserve so much better than what you have settled for. When you are able to think more clearly, really look at your relationship objectively. He cheated on you with several women (some that you know of) - that's why he was so paranoid about his phone. And yet you forgave him time after time. You didn't ask for much in the relationship and that is exactly what you got. He found a woman who would cook and clean for him and spend the night in his bed and that suited him just fine and dandy. But since you didn't demand commitment from him, he didn't give it to you. The hurt and pain will ease. I promise. But when that happens, what kind of woman do you want to be? Do you want to be a woman whose happiness is dependent upon the attention of a man? Or do you want to be a woman who can complement a relationship with a man? A woman who brings strength and decisiveness and a quick sting of a reply when your man is being a pain in the a$$? Don't allow yourself to be anything except the beautiful, genuine spirit that God created, Find someone to talk to about all of this. A friend, a pastor, a rabbi, a professional; someone who will speak the truth in love to you, as I hope you understand I've done just now.
  23. I'm sorry this happened to you. The truth is that a man who will hang on year after year without a commitment is never going to commit. You've been used terribly and I hate that. This will take a while to get over. In the meantime, may I humbly suggest that you do some serious soul-searching and understand why you let a man use you like this? That way when Mr. Right does come along you will be ready to embrace it fully.
  24. If you condense this post into the pertinent details, I may have some advice to offer. I refuse to schlep through unimportant information such as hobbies and innocuous flirtations.
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