Having similar questions as we are to be married in my home state of CA and living in his home state of WA. In order to obtain a confidential marriage license, I obtained my WA state ID to show we were living together (a stipulation for such a license). So it would appear we fled WA to make our marriage legal. I've been told to look into a domestic partnership in WA to cover our bases. Kind of thinking this would out us, and maybe we should just stick to the 'lay low' strategy.