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raf

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About raf

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  1. Thank you LadyC, Nat and GirlSaysWhat! @LadyC. My partner and I share the same opinion on marriage. We are convinced that a piece of paper cannot make someone stay with you or treat you better, or make things between you work. I was married once, very young and very excited to be someone's wife, have a diamond ring and etc..It did not end well. I was working very hard, studying at uni, paying all the bills, taking care of the house and etc. and receiving nothing in return. He was simply taking all I did for granted. Luckily, was smart enough to not have a child with that person, otherwise I would have stayed with him and be unhappy and depressed. With my cousin things are way different, he is simply the other half of me. We understand and see things the same way. We can't afford to lose each other, as we have been through so much and paid such a high price to get together. Before making the decision we had a long period to consider all the risks and consequences to come along with. A child is a huge commitment and we are both ready to have one. It is just on the back of my head that there is a risk, slightly higher than in the normal couples. And I tend to worry a bit more than most people...and think a bit too much..and for too long :/ He says everything will be fine and etc. but I know him, and I know that he is worried too. Thats why I really need other second cousins to share their real stories and tell if they were worried too. Would help us a lot, as 2015 is the year we chose to start trying @GirlSaysWhat! thank you thank you thank you!
  2. Hi everyone, After 5 years of suffering, troubles, facing other people's negative comments and own obstacles(each of us has a bit of a temper )we are getting together :laugh: I am leaving my job and relocating to live with him. No plans to get married or engaged or something of the kind, all we need is to be together Well, I kind of daydream being his wife sometimes, however we shall see how it goes. Both are very happy and euphoric. We are also planning to have a child and my question is did any of you had to face an additional portion of 'you shouldnt have done that' by a OB, doctor, nurse and etc. We have read so many articles and statistics on the subject, however we are still a bit hesitating whether we should try for a baby...and I want it so much, I can tell he wants it too. The thing is that we are worried that there might be something because of us being 2nd cousins. We are both very healthy and fit, active lifestyles, non-smokers, none of us drinks or uses drugs or have done so in the past. Did you tell your doctor you are expecting from a cousin? How did they react? Was everything alright with the pregnancy? Sorry to ask such a question, however was everything alright with the baby? If not, at some point did you blame the same genes you are sharing. I am trying to collect as many opinions as possible and relax a bit about it. Would appreciate any info and stories
  3. for 4 and a half years now And I have never been happier, praise every single day with him and thank God we are together. Whats gonna happen - I dont know, but hoping for the best ) Try telling him about how you feel, there is no other way to find out. Courage!
  4. Dear Leanna, Dont give up! I would consider undergoing a more serious examinations and tests to make sure everything is fine. I hope everything works well for you and TT
  5. Well, that would be of great help right now if I knew whether it is worth it. I had a relationship with a 2nd cousin back in 2009/10 - extremely intense one,which ended up horribly- he texted that he cant go on with it and nothing will ever work out. I was devastated for a long long period of time, suffered like crazy, couldn sleep, didnt eat, lost a lot of weight, got ill...all the nice stuff you get along with the broken heart. Then I met someone else, things were far away from true love, however I decided he was a great guy and married him in 2012. Things werent bad, however the lack of strong feelings wasn't easy to cope with. I had to do a lot of compromises all the time to make things work and I couldn't call myself a happy girl. And I feel like a horrible person saying that, however I didnt stop thinking of my cousin. A month after the wedding my cousin started emailing and trying to get in touch, didnt pay much attention at first. However I guess the fact that each evening I was coming home to a person who didn't appreciate me and didn't look at me with the eyes of a man that loves you passionately paid it's toll. I started seing my cousin again 3 months ago. He says he loves me and wants me with him and he actually shows it every day. He even wants us to start living together... However it is kind of hard for me to trust him again. Currently (for the past 8 months) my husband lives and works abroad, so we hardly see each other. Last few months were hard and we don't really get along that well anymore and feel distant all the time. We stopped talking and sharing as before the wedding and...well - it isn't what it used to be. I havent told him that I want to leave him. I'm not even sure I want to leave him at all to start off with! My cousin gave me a month to decide what I want.. So if someone has the answer whether it is worth it or not - please let me know! Cause i'm running out of ideas! Things like that are hard to decide and would take me more than a month. It is my whole life pending on this decision!
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