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About jaafk

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  1. Well i tend to have a different opinion. Even my cousin would call me "bro" in order to normalize the earlier part of her sentences!! So I don't think it necessarily rules out all possibilities of her feelings. But I guess you should wait until you meet her again in person so that you will be able to gauge her feelings better and theres no guarantee of how things will shape up between you two and between the family in case she doesn't feel the same way. So considering the delicacy of such relationships ...its worth waiting... By the time you can get even more closer to her.... Furthermore...you should give small hints to her about your feelings....Someday .....maybe she might open up by herself too...
  2. Well my cousin said that it would be up to you whether you want to do it through video calling but she says if your cousin too feels the same way about you...it would be very very special if you propose in person...something your cousin would probably cherish all life.She said if she was the guy..she wouldn't do it on the phone at all!! I too had the fear of spoiling the relationship between us...and I guess everybody here must have gone through that...You just have to be patient. What I wanted to ask you is(if you don't mind)...how does she behave with you in person? Have you two always been the same since childhood or there is any change in the way she behaves with you when around you? How sure are you that she does have the same feelings? Do you get any sort of vibes? You probably should figure that out before doing anything...
  3. am not sure if having such a conversation on the phone would mean u r a coward....but i asked my cousin regarding your case and she too told that phone isn't such a good idea... Though i still stick to my views... As for our conversation.... well...during that period both of us would text each other the whole day i was staying alone at that time but she was with her parents and her younger brother (who all knew it was me was texting ...but i m not sure if they knew how many we exchanged during the day!!) So her brother started getting a little suspicious about us and started demanding to see our conversations etc and telling us that he is feeling something fishy is going on between us (all of which was like a blessing in disguise!!) But both of us just rejected him all the time....and i never allowed him to check my phone even though there was nothing to hide at all in the conversations we used to have. So ultimately on that fateful night....i decided to use this as a ploy just to know her reaction. I told her about how stupid her bro's suspicions were....and i asked her about how she felt about them....(all through texts) and suddenly her replies became really short into one or two word replies.... So i understood that i have kinda hit the target...( this was like the start of the RIGHT moment i was talking about....my cousin's replies get shorter once she is thinking too deep) So i asked her next that what would happen if his suspicion's were true because i really like you a lot...!!! and she replied i like you too!!! Thats where i felt that this is it ..i just have to ask now..she seems nearly in the bag...!!! So i just sent her an SMS...."i love you and if ur answer is no i won't show u my face again" and out of shock...as well as fear that i might do what i said...she gave me a call...at around 12:15 am. During the call she didn't say no or yes...she feared the consequences of saying yes ...Initially i wasn't able to speak properly...but then i told her how a younger cousin being in love with the older one isn't wrong [in our religion cousin marriages aren't an issue and even in the society people prefer marriages between cousins than marrying outside the family....but a younger guy marrying an elder girl is a strict no no and a huge societal taboo...absolutely opposite of what the religion teaches] Anyways..she didn't oppose all that...and was more scared of our parents reactions She didn't say yes until i kind of forced her to...by which it was around 4am !! She said "i love you" by herself only after 3-4 days!!! But still it was quite obvious what was in her heart... Ultimately..i know it wasn't quite the "perfect" way of going about this thing..but it was effective and i did get my desired result...n am sure thats what really matters at the end
  4. Well my cousin always tells me that she wanted me to propose her face to face rather than how i did....( i did it through phone...started via texts n then a call) .....n i dont regret it bcoz .... 1) the thought of the pain of hearing a no on my face was far greater than hearing/seeing it on the phone.... 2) if the situation turns bad....its easier to avoid it when on the phone than face to face 3) i wasn't sure when i was gonna meet her next either...so i didn't really want to wait for that...
  5. Thanks aloooooooooooot for your reply n advice!! We are Muslims from India...but our families aren't too religious!! And you rite her family just wants her to get married...because two-three of her maternal cousin sisters have either got married late or are still unmarried...so they don't want her to have the same fate. As with my family...i was actually doing Mechanical Engineering after my grade 12...but due to some issues i wasn't clearing the exams ...n i lost my 2 years in it...and now i have switched to Commerce... So theres a little bit of doubt whether i will be able to do anything in life at all...among my family members.Moreover they think that my failure in engineering was only because of her. And somewhere i get the vibes from them that by the time i will be independent...She will get married by then. But anyways....i m not too bothered about what others are planning/thinking/doing about us....I want to concentrate on my part of action and help her do her part..... Once again thanks for your reply!!
  6. Thanks dude!! I hope it works out for u too!! And about the RIGHT moment....its like from time to time during our conversations i used to feel she loves me....just the level of concern, her feelings, her words....a combination of many things...but she wouldn't have the courage to tell me that directly ( She later did admit about all of this). I was in a dilemma whether i should ask her or it would screw our relationship.But then ultimately there came a point where i felt that i just HAD to ask...i just asked her for an assurance that it wouldn't screw things....n just went for it....n i m glad it did work out the way we wanted...!!!
  7. Hi everyone.... I am 20 years old, male....in a relationship for the past 2 years with my 1st cousin (my father's brother's daughter) who is 23. She is currently pursuing ACCA (Association of Chartered Certified Accountants) and I'm currently doing my Bachelor's in Commerce. Our parents, our siblings and her whole maternal side know about us. But all of her side is dead against it....my side says it too early...though if i really want it...they have no problems but i must be on my feet (financially) and then i can marry whom i want to..... We have loads of restrictions communicating with each other ( which we don't mind as long as we are together by heart) and are currently faking a break up in front all our relatives. So what I wanted advice was .... 1) We both are financially dependent on our parents still and live with them cause we haven't completed our studies yet.She mite still finish it in 2-3 years but I am probably going to take more time.We can both find some work even now but can't afford to work full time cause it will screw up our studies and even if we earn part time...we wont be earning significant enough to look after our ownselves. Moreover its about me earning enough to look after us both rather than her earnings. So any suggestions on how we can go about it financially? Any related real examples ? Any ideas as to how i can get on my feet asap? 2) As per our society...her age is the perfect one for marriage....and shes next in line for getting married from both her maternal as well paternal (our) sides.. So due to this she has been facing tremendous pressure especially from her parents to forget me and get married asap. On top of this she very innocent and gets pressurized easily by anybody.So from time to time, her folks or other relatives question her regarding us and quite a few times she has told the truth (thinking they would understand...which they don't) and it makes matters difficult..especially for her. On the other hand...I have always felt that it wud be stupidity to tell anybody anything now and rather be independent enough first before telling them about any of this.Though whenever i have been asked about us...i have never lied..and have always admitted to being in a relationship with her...but i haven't said anything at all other than accepting it. This has created an impression that she is forcing herself on me...which is far from the case...and i hate it.Moreover she thinks that i don't do anything on my part to fight for our relationship...which hurts even more. So what should be the right approach to go about things from here? We both prefer dying than leaving each other....we are definitely past the point of "see how it goes" things and are ready to take any sort of thing thrown at us. Moreover...we both have never been involved in any sort of relationship before this....making it even more special for us. note:- We both love our parents a lot.Both my parents are cancer survivors and theres no chance that i would be living separately at any point of life.So we would like suggestions that would help us convince our parents rather than doing something without their consent.
  8. I was in exactly the same situation.... But then one day my cousin was alone at home... and we were chatting thru texts and during the conversation there came a soft moment...where the feeliings were a lil high....So i asked her whether i cud ask her a question....but she must promise me that the question shloudn't change anything for the worse between us...n she said yes n i just asked her....She didnt say no..but she didnt admit it directly either...i just got an indirect yes...n we chatted n talked on the phone thru out the nite for 6 hours straight!!! and ultimately she did agree....!!! So until u dont try..u mite never find out...So give it a go...Just make sure u ask her at the RIGHT moment...n in the RIGHT MANNER... all d best!!!