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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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Denchim

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About Denchim

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  1. ex-wife's disapproval

    I agree with Romalee, too. Don't let this woman's issues come between you.
  2. ex-wife's disapproval

    I agree 100% with everyone else's responses. The only other advice I would offer is for you and RJ to consider actually having your own talk with the children about it. Of course, without bringing the mother into the conversation AT ALL. Just like someone above said, never say or imply a negative thing about the ex in front of the children in under circumstance. You could start the conversation by asking if there's anything they want to talk about in the house or any issues they feel they might need to talk about to you guys. Don't directly bring up the cousin issue to them- if you ask them if they want to talk to you about anything, don't put it past children to be honest with you and tell you what's on their mind. If they have any questions or problems, they can voice them, you can respond in a calm and loving tone and don't bring up their mother. If they bring up their mother, don't let your response include any opinions on her, just say something like, "I can't speak for your mother, but your father and I..." and so on. It is NEVER a bad idea to talk to children about any activities or issues that exist under the roof that you all share. That should be a more common practice in many households. If the children have concerns, they should be addressed and comforted. Always let them know you love them, and say nothing negative about the ex ever. Hope this helps.
  3. Ten years ago after already being in a secret relationship for years, my cousin decided that the social stigma and uncertainty of our family's reactions was too much to risk for our relationship. Our relationship has been very emotionally turbulent since we confessed our feelings of love to each other way back in the day. We still see each other for family functions, and it's sometimes awkward (less awkward as time goes on), but we deal with it. We both have our own families now, and I know he isn't happy. He regrets that one big chance he blew, of course; but over time, we've both come to terms with it.
  4. Hey, Nat! Thanks for the advice. Can you tell me where I can find what you've published?
  5. Ratio of people who regretted

    I love that answer.
  6. I am writing a book right now, and I started it about ten years ago. We're not together, and the book will be considered fiction so as not to out us cause we've never been out. Hopefully I'll be done in about a year, and it'll be all over the world. :smiley:
  7. It's nice seeing other peoples thoughts on this and all the other songs out there that people associate with their cousin relationship.
  8. Rottencards

    Love it.
  9. Does anyone else really find your own meaning in the songs you listen to? I'll start. "Serial Killer" by Lana Del Rey. "Red" by Taylor Swift "Accidental Babies" by Damien Rice If you know these songs, can you relate? If not, what songs do you relate to?
  10. I completely agree with ColoradoMarried. If you want to be together, let some time pass till you're both legal adults (maybe even longer) and then do what you have to do to be together. My cousin and I were many years apart in age as well, so I know the added difficulty with that. It's been a couple months- I hope things have improved for you.
  11. nerdy cousin love!

    That's awesome, congratulations!
  12. How long will you be out of the country? I think you should talk to her about it whether you just let her know of your feelings or if you ask her if she has feelings for you? And if you do let her know how you feel about her, let her also know if you are at ease about it and why or why not. She may be dealing with the same struggle and is waiting to talk about it.
  13. I have forgiven him. But I still get angry when I think about things he's done or said. Not all the time, but sometimes. Time has softened it.
  14. Facebook lol

    My cousin and I are fb friends, and we have friended/defriended more than once. It can be frustrating, but I know he likes to have a window into my life that he otherwise wouldn't have. When we first became friends, we chatted a lot. But then, with fb's updates, he would be in my "friends" block when others would look at my timeline, and we couldn't have that. That's why we defriended the first time. But now, we're friends again and we do not chat. But the chatting was needed while we had it- it was good to talk about things that we've been needing to talk about for years.
  15. :undecided: I really wish we could go on this show. We've never been open about our relationship, and any possibility that we would've had of being together, he squandered about ten years ago. So we're not a couple and haven't been one for a long time. I know if we were, though, we'd be an excellent couple to have on the show.
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