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Moon Potato

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  1. I come to you today like many others before who probably had nowhere else to turn to. About a year and a half ago, I suddenly realized that I was completely and madly in love with my first cousin. It had been foreshadowed for many years before that, but it seems that the whole torrent of emotion burst forth at that very moment. During that span, it was magic when we'd see each other, although too infrequently. I have been in love before, and I know what it feels like, what it looks like. I saw it her eyes. She seemed enamored with me too. She'd admire my every act, no matter how mundane. We'd light up the whole room when we'd interact. In fact, I had to hold back a little afterwards, realizing that it's probably all too apparent to my family that sparks were flying between us. Being a man who wears his emotions on his sleeve, I decided to take action three months ago. I told her that I loved her. More than I've ever loved anyone in my life. Her reply was simply "it's weird". She proceeded to completely block me from her life. Cutting all contact, leaving effectively no way for me to reach her. Needless to say, I was, and still am beside myself. Three months later, and I still feel all the pain, the anger, the dejection. I question my entire belief system, since if I was so wrong about something that I was 100% sure about, how could I be right about anything? I feel like a caged animal, frantically rattling every bar, trying to find a solution, find a way. But there is no way to even talk to her. It's as if she no longer exists. If any of you have been in a similar situation, how did it end? The only way I see this ending is in disaster. Love this strong, and this passionate cannot be forgotten. Pain this strong is almost impossible for me to forgive. My family is already starting to wonder why I haven't been the next city over in a while. Despite all this, I still feel love for her as strong as I ever did, and I cling to hope like a beggar clings to his last nickel. Is this hope justified, or am I simply a man who's finally succumbed to madness?
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