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About Evongelo

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  1. For all I know you've all already seen this but I thought it was interesting and figured I'd share it. I found it while doing my research.
  2. Evongelo

    love declared late

    Unfortunately you are married. Your vows are bound to your honor. If you broke those vows you'd have no honor, and I don't know how I could live with myself knowing I had broken an oath I took before my God and my family. However, if your marriage were to fall a part, I think you know you have someone out there that you're meant to be with. For now though, it's your duty to make your marriage work and to do what ever you have to do. You owe it to God, your family, your husband, yourself, and your children to honor your vows.
  3. Evongelo

    Its been years, and I'm torn

    Leave the abuser. This is not some faze, it is the beginning of the future. He will continue to treat you like this with increased severity. As for your cousin, contact him. Tell him, "I was a young and emotional teenager who didn't know what I wanted. My feelings for you were real, but I was fickle and we lived so far from each other and I threw out a good thing because of it. I've matured since then, I've had experiences that have taught me the value of true love and what is important, and I now know I want you. I'm still young, still uncertain about the future, and still unsure of what else I want, but I am confident in knowing that when it comes to companionship and love, there is one thing about which I am certain, and that's you." Obviously you use your own words, but essentially the point is that young people love hard, fast, and carelessly, and are quick to discard what an older and wiser person would cherish. You have to make him realize that you are an older and wiser person now with at least regards to this. If he is a logical and forgiving person he will understand, but you have to make sure you are sincere.
  4. I've already found some other things on this sight about dealing with family, but while I have an active thread I'll ask: can anyone share any personal stories about family and being accepted (or disowned)?
  5. Those are some solid words. I guess my continued concern is how she could react, how that would make me look if it went wrong, and if it went right, what that would do to the family. My family has a tendency to be judgmental and nosy. I care about family and unity, and doing something that would certainly tear us apart seems selfish and self centered on my part, especially when it's just about some feelings I could just repress instead.
  6. The issue for me isn't whether it is right or wrong but if it's smart to proceed with such feelings. Is love the most important thing or is family? Of course love isn't something you know for certain till you've tested the waters. I love this cousin more than anyone else in my family, but to be in love? I think that those feelings are only something that can be explored with deliberation, and there in lies the question: should I delve into these feelings with her or stay back. What if she feels the same way, but the thought of going forward freaks her out and she responds with outrage over the suggestion? How do I face my family when something like this comes out? Damn it's like coming out of the closet lol!!!
  7. I'm probably going to get long winded here and I hope someone takes the time to read it all. I'm really glad I found this sight though, because other places just weren't cutting it. A lot of ignorance exists on the internet. I've already done a fair amount of research on this topic regarding legality, Bible, and genetics. My cousin and I are close. We are two months apart in age and grew up together. I was always at her house or she at mine and we were always together. Most people can't see it, but she and I are so very similar on many mental and emotional levels. We are so close it's like twins, where we can actually feel when the other one is in pain or stressed out or in a bad mood. She and I have a sixth sense that seems to connect us. Growing up, we had a normal cousin relationship ( I think ). We picked on our younger cousin/sister and annoyed the hell out of the older one. We got into trouble together, played games together, got mad at each other, fought each other (physically), yelled at each other, tattled on each other, made up and were best friends again, etc etc. Lately I've been having this feeling that has slowly gnawed at me over the passed year. Her and I are 22 years old, and between the ages of 14 and 20 we hardly saw each other. Our lives took different paths and we parted ways. Since we've reunited I've started to notice things. We talk about everything (relationships, desires, sex, love, etc), we want the same thing in a relationship and have the same expectations, we've both had hard times finding someone of quality (her more than I), and we're both horn dogs that tend to be motivated a little to much by sex (but I manage it better than she). Just recently we were talking about this stuff and she said "we should just date each other". It was a joke, but I think there may have been some seriousness there. We've not talked about this at all. It's just a feeling I have and I have suspected that she has it too. It's just not something I want to have. Our families are close. My father and her mother are siblings and talk all the time. We live in our home town and so does a lot of our family. Her sisters are like my sisters, I don't have these thoughts about them and to try is gross to me. It would be like trying to imagine your sister. SO WHY IS IT DIFFERENT WITH HER? We never kissed when we were little and I slept in the same bed as her when I was 12 and never felt anything. The idea of being romantic with her never once crossed my mind at all! I'm completely serious, hand to God honest about that. So why now? We have had some moments too. We were lying on my bed and I was giving her a back message. We were looking at pictures of dog breads that we like and would like to own, and I laid down next to her so I could see her phone better. Without realizing it I had my arm around her, my leg on hers, our feet were touching, and a moment came when we caught eyes for a moment and our smiles kind of faltered cause you suddenly have that urge to kiss. I ignored it though and looked back at her phone. Since that night about two months ago this feeling that was in the back of my mind that I tried to ignore has been eating away at me more and more to the point where I am now on a cousin dating forum asking for advice on what the hell I'm supposed to do with this feeling. The more I think about it (I hate to say it) the more perfect it seems. Anyone in the family will say that she is very hard to get along with or even like sometimes. She is who she is. They will also say that I am the anti-her. I've always had a special knack for countering or defusing her. I swear if we were a normal boy and girl you'd say you found the perfect person. Yet here we are: cousins...... I've noticed too that she went from being excited about seeing me to ignoring me and avoiding me. We'll be talking, and I'll ask if she wants to come over for dinner, and she will ask what I'm having and say yes, and then the next day, txt me and say she got busy and can't come. I can tell by her body language and her voice that she is not uncomfortable with me. I was afraid of that at first. I honestly think she might have the same feelings, and after that night I mentioned, started thinking about it more and is now trying to stay away from me a bit. I don't blame her. I could be wrong about this, but it's just another feeling or perception I am having.