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Mloclam

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About Mloclam

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  1. I see that this is an older post, but I really appreciate your work. I sense much of the same sincerity in your words that I feel towards my cousin. Fate is fickle; another life, perhaps?
  2. Thank you for sharing. Your story gives me hope that someday I will have the same opportunity that you did to share my life and love with the woman I was meant for!
  3. This was my first real attempt at honesty with myself :embarrassed: . This has been my deep, dark secret for as long as I can remember and one night I finally broke down and wrote everything that came into my head. It helped jar loose some thoughts and emotions I had been bottling up and was very therapeutic for me. I have been tremendously relieved to be able to share the honest stories that others have posted and if this helps even one person feel less alone, I will have done my part. I've felt it forever. There is a part of me, as loud and destructive as it is silent and buried. An underg
  4. Thank you very much. :grin: I put a lot of thought and effort into it, but it was the inspiration that set me in motion. I couldn't have done it without my muse.
  5. I wrote this after I saw my cousin recently and I began thinking about the nature of fate and physicality. I landed on palmistry and wrote this about the dichotomy of reality and fiction; what is written and what actually exists. Feel free to comment or offer artistic insight. Observe the hand and hold in eye The canyon, crag and crooked line. The truth behind a jagged lie A close inspection could divine. A modicum of future sight; Cartographic time contingency. A glimpse of self, however slight Carved bereft of crucial stringency Forsooth the toll of time is took As life
  6. I am learning the hard way that the advice you get here will not always be comforting, but it will be in the best interests of your emotional and mental health. Try to listen with an open mind and realize that the world we live in is not all rainbows and butterflies. I am having a difficult time as well, but the decisions I have made are mine and mine alone. I have to live with that the same way everyone else does, but the experience available on this site is invaluable. The best advice I can give is to be patient and try to work on understanding your own feelings before you try to understand
  7. Serendipity, Thank you for taking the time to respond and provide your valuable insight. There are a few points I agree with you on and a few points that I feel need to be corrected. I have been faithful to my wife for six years. I cheated on her when I was 16 after we had been dating for six months. I do not fantasize about other women except for my cousin. I haven't talked to my cousin in more than a year (not since my wedding in July 2014) in an effort to quell these feelings. I am not close, fearfully or otherwise, to being unfaithful to my wife although after having been able to
  8. Kitten, Thank you for your response. You brought up an excellent point. I honestly don't know my cousin as well as I would like. I only see her once a year or so, but it is usually for a week or two at a time. I have been around her in public and private enough to love the person I know but our interactions are generally around our family, and who really behaves around their family the way they do around their friends? It does make me question who she really is because I am beginning to know myself better and I'm net even the person I thought I was. I'm trying hard now to be that person.
  9. LadyC Thank you again for the heartfelt advice. Having the opportunity and environment to express these thoughts and feelings has given me some much needed clarity and room inside my own head to think. You have only reinforced the conclusions I had already begun to draw for myself, but the taste in my mouth is no less bitter. I see the path laid out before me and I see the obstacles blocking it. I will have to overcome my personal issues before I can be the man my cousin deserves. I have to be honest with my wife so that she can live the life and find the love that she deserves. I plan to
  10. Thank you for taking the time to respond to my post. I know that you are right in saying that I need to be honest. I know that she has a right to decide if she will stay or go, but there are a few more important detail that I left out regarding my cousin's situation that may influence the sutuation pretty significantly. I have not revealed my feelings to my cousin yet, although it's hard to imagine that she feels differently or fails to recognize my attachment. She has been in a relationship with another man for about three years, and although they are not married, they too have a substanti
  11. Thank you to everyone who has shared your wonderful stories. I know that not all of these work out, and mine is a long way from it, but having this type of community for support is life saving for me right now. Sincerely. Thank you. I am 23m and my 2nd cousin is 23f. I have loved her deeply and sincerely our whole lives even though we live hundreds of miles apart and average about one visit per year (or fewer). As I'm reading more into other's experiences, I'm learning that my conditioned "ick" response is fairly standard. My family would probably have been pretty accepting, but I was afraid
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