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Everything posted by UnluckyInLove

  1. I agree with Hawk. Telling her via text or social media is not the best idea... If she becomes available, then tell her you love her in person. Reading a text message can cheapen what you're saying and can never replace your voice, being able to look her in the eyes, and also being able to judge how she reacts to it. It may seem scary to tell her in person, but there are way more risks telling her through a text message. If I were you, and you got the opportunity one day, I would start with the bit about "if you weren't my cousin...." like Hawk and Kylie123 said. But my advice is 1. Wait until she is available AND the time seems right, And 2. Tell her in person.
  2. I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas! I have been so blessed to find this place and I am so grateful. Thank you to everyone who have shared their stories (the lucky and the not so lucky). It has been eye opening in the best way! Thank you all for having the courage to speak up. It is so wonderful to know that I'm not crazy/messed up/weird to be in love with my cousin..... For years and years I thought I was. And even though I can't be with him, it is nice to know. Seriously, thank you. A special thank you to LadyC for giving her time to advise and encourage. Your friendship means a lot to me. Thank you for everything!
  3. I agree 110%!! And Merry Christmas to you!
  4. Oh the generational gap... I am 28 and I still feel 21........until I get around other 21 year olds. Lol. This girl sounds very unstable. I can't know for sure, so please don't take anything I say as cannon. She sounds like she wants to hold on to you, but is not ready to quit partying/playing the field/keeping her options open.....you fill in the blank. I am also a woman and I know that when a girl is in love, social media will be plastered with photos of you two, statuses about you, etc. so that is a red flag right there. Here's my advice to you: Don't throw her away (yet). Sit down with her and talk everything out. She needs to hear everything you've told us and anything else on your heart/mind. If she is not ready for an exclusive relationship, if she still doesn't want the whole world to know that you two are a couple, and/or if there is still something that doesn't feel right, let her go. She may need time to mature. Or maybe she is not the one for you. I can tell you this......everyone deserves someone who treats them like they are once in a lifetime. Or at least someone who doesn't seem to hide the fact that you're a couple. You deserve to be treated better than the way you're being treated right now.
  5. This should be pinned to the top! Best advice post I've read on here.
  6. Theman, How old are you two? I am a woman, and from my perspective it sounds like she has it bad for you… Seriously, if neither one of you are already involved with other people, I would try and talk to her about it if I were you. From the sounds of it, it seems that she would be open to such a conversation. You could even say what she said to you: "if you weren't my cousin…" to break the ice. And since she has already said that to you, you have much much less to worry about than most when bringing up the subject.
  7. Hahaha wow, LadyC - that is so cool!
  8. Forgive me if this topic is already floating around on here somewhere. It makes me so happy to hear your success stories on here. I love that a lot of you have overcome the pressure of society and are living out your dreams. So....... I have to ask What was the first moment you realized you were in love with your cousin? ❤️
  9. Yay! Congratulations!! So happy for you!
  10. This poem brought tears to my eyes......I can relate so completely. Thank you for sharing your gift ❤️
  11. Cstar21, I have read your posts on here and I have a woman's perspective for you about your cousin.....you won't like it, but here it is. Her unresponsiveness to your messages sounds like she is not interested, but doesn't want to confront you about it. If I have read correctly, you said you have sent her 3 messages, all with no reply from her... You need to let her be. You are probably pushing her away. She is either not interested or not ready. If I were you (and I know this is extremely difficult--easier said than done), I wouldn't contact her anymore. See her on holidays with your family, don't be overly clingy because that tends to overwhelm/creep some girls out, and don't contact her in any way unless she reaches out to you. By that, I mean if she puts forth effort to have a friendship or more with you. She now knows how you feel, so be prepared if she ever writes you back. If she is not interested, let her go and move on with your life. You have to respect her wishes on the matter. I'm sorry to give you such bad news; I'm just trying to help based on what you've told us on this site. I wish you the best and I hope she comes around one day. Be patient and know if and when to move on.
  12. I was 13 the first time I met him (the last time I had seen him before that, I was 3 so that doesn't count lol). I thought several of my cousins were attractive and he was one of them, but he was a lot older than me and that added to the fact that we are cousins (and that at the time I thought it was abnormal), I didn't give him much thought. He was not interested in me romantically either. I was drawn to him (non-romantically) at this time though. Have you ever heard the quote: "character is how you treat those who can do nothing for you"? He has more character than anyone I've ever met. This quote describes who he is and is still, to this day, why I fell for him in the first place. It wasn't long after that first reunion that I realized I had feelings for him (and started repressing them, pushing them away, feeling abnormal, filling my life with every distraction I could, fighting my ever growing love for him over the next 14 years...) He has the gift of making anyone and everyone feel important, and he has never used it advantageously. He truly treats everyone the same, whether he can benefit from that particular friendship or not. I have never seen anyone else show this kind of selflessness before. I was a lonely kid. I had exactly one friend who was my friend most of the time. I was bullied. I felt like I didn't matter and contemplated suicide several times. My self esteem was at about -5. He made me feel, for the first time in my life, like I mattered. To quote one of my favorite movies, "[He] saw me when I was invisible..." He is truly amazing. I love him so ❤️
  13. Hi Ace, Has she given you any indication that she feels the same way about you? If so, how exactly? Also, what are your ages? Are either one of you involved with someone else? I am not an expert on this subject, but I've been hanging around here long enough to know we need a little more info in order to advise/help you.
  14. For my love, with all of my heart. For anyone on here who wants to listen. For the ones who are happy.....and for the ones who are hurting. This love hasn't gone away in 14 years, even with me fighting it HARD. It's real. And it's never going to stop. I love you, DB.
  15. I'm sorry. I was completely wrecked when I posted this and I shouldn't have posted it at all. I don't know how to take it off. I'm sure the last thing you all want to read on here are the hopeless and depressing rants from someone for whom you can do absolutely nothing to help. I won't post anything else.
  16. ......to keep from crying because: my life. It now appears my best friend likes my cousin and there is a chance he may like her. Awesome. My life should be a soap opera. :laugh:
  17. A part of the group I was referring to were his family, not just his friends. He seems to be of the same opinion as the group. That is what tears me up inside. I am 27 years old. I'm married. It is a miserable marriage and has been for the past few years (especially this last year). I am committed to making it work until/unless we both come to a point where it is no longer possible. We have a child. It is too late for me. I am lamenting because I was so ignorant as a young teen, so naive to believe that I had to accept the norms of our society. Because I used to be this way, it never once occurred to me to research *why* cousin relationships were no longer acceptable in our culture by the majority. I thought it was illegal, I thought as a 14 year old girl that there was something wrong with me! That I was messed up, perverted, etc. etc. I don't even remember being taught that it was "wrong". I just grew up knowing it was just something you weren't supposed to do and so I never questioned it. The man I love is 35. I thought maybe he might be in love with me too, even though it's irrelevant at this point in my life. But even though I knew the likelihood of us having a future together was slim to none at best, there is something about finding out that there is zero chance anything will happen even if I am available again one day. It is the type of heart break that you cannot ever quite prepare for, although I did try. I can't talk to anyone about this. No one around me would understand. The only thing it would do is open a can of worms that I am not fully prepared to deal with yet. So I had to let all of this out here and I hope that is okay with everyone. Finally getting to talk to people about this has been so very healing for me. So thank you for your reply. I welcome as many as any of the wonderful people on this site are willing to offer.
  18. WHY. Why did it have to become an "icky" thing in the eyes of our society to be in love with and/or marry your cousin?? This is 2015. Same-sex marriage is legal, so why are cousin marriages still illegal in a lot of our states? Why won't the media plaster the facts everywhere and educate the public that their thinking is false when it comes to cousin love?? I was in a group tonight and cousin marriage briefly came up and was ridiculed and joked about being something that uneducated people do. I wanted to sound off about how actually, they are the uneducated ones! It wasn't the right time or the right place and would not have been well received. But it frustrates me so much. If it wasn't for society making this an issue, if I had known that it wasn't illegal to have feelings for my cousin, I would have WAITED and kept hoping and maybe would have found a way someday to be with him. Maybe he would have wanted to be with me too. But I will never know because the pressure of complying with societal norms is a very real thing. So some of us are just out of luck where this is concerned. I just want the cousins couples on here to know how truly, sincerely happy I am for you..... Please never forget how amazingly blessed you are. Even if I was single......it was made clear tonight by this group that a future would never be possible for me and the man I have been in love with since I was 14. I have no more hope. My heart is completely broken... :cry:
  19. Hahaha! Sounds like a normal husband ;D No problem at all I know what you mean about the quick and painless thing. We went through that with my grandmother several years ago. She was in so much pain with cancer and there was nothing anyone could do. We prayed God would take her quickly and thankfully, he did. Your mom and aunt are in my thoughts and prayers.
  20. I completely understand! It is so nice of you to devote your time and attention to help me. Thank you! I hope everything works out with your aunt and mom, and wish good health for them both. I sent another reply as a guest right before I joined the forum and a [very small] part of that reply was asking how to join the forum. I did figure that out and I am now a member Hey, this has been my shortest reply yet, haha! Thank you for putting up with my hopelessly long-winded self. ;D
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