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That8th

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About That8th

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  1. Ashna, I feel you. Being in that kind of situation is not easy. I'm going through the same thing. Our culture/religion and society have beliefs that are hard to break. I hope you find comfort from the people here as much as I did. Always remember that you are not alone, we understand you and wish you happiness.
  2. 30something, Keep us posted I'm excited for you!
  3. Renegade1418, Your story is as beautiful as it is complicated. I can feel how much you love each other, I'm happy that after all these years, you're finally with a person you deserve. The right one for you. Yes, hard days are yet to come but I'm sure your love for each other will keep you strong. I wish you the best of luck!
  4. Esmeralda79, I'm from the Philippines too. I salute your courage, standing up to your family to be with the one you love. I'm glad to hear that you're able to be together freely and have great kids I also did some research on the possibility of kids having problems like what our uninformed society thinks, and the chances are so little and almost the same with unrelated couples. I am hoping that our country would be open to this kind of relationship, I know a lot more are like us somewhere, hiding their feelings afraid to be judged.
  5. Serendipity, Your message made me smile and inspire me. You're right, I will keep fighting. I'm glad I found a place where I can vent out and talk to people like you. I hope I'll have the courage to challenge my family though Thank you so much!
  6. 30something, I told one of my friends, he is very supportive. It feels great when you have people who understand instead of judge. Thank you for your message. I wish you the best of luck
  7. Hawk, Thank you! You're very helpful and kind. Yes, we are first cousins and come from the Philippines. I was 15 when I met my cousin who was 13 at the time. My mom decided to leave my abusive dad and raise us by herself. My uncle who's also a single parent offered that we stay at their home with his kids while he's out of the country. Me and my cousin became the best of friends. We would stay up late talking, playing video games, having fun. I transferred to his school. Since I was a new student, he would always check up on me, eat lunch and walk home together. It was always fun and comfortable being with him, it became the best part of my day. Eventually I had my own circle of friends, he then got involved with his sports and didn't have much time to hang out. He became a part of the basketball varsity team and I, the crowd on the bleachers smoking which he so much hated. Haha I realized that I had feelings for him when he started hanging out with this other girl. I got really jealous, thought it was weird so I ignored my feelings and stopped talking to him until we moved out. We ignored each other on gatherings and didn't have any connection for 5 years. I met someone special and was in a serious relationship when I decided to patch things up between us and talk to him again. Instantly, we became closer than before. We were both in college and would meet often to catch up and spend time together. We promised to stay connected which we did everyday. We never talked about our relationship, how we felt about each other or set any boundaries or rules but amazingly both us felt obliged to ask permission whenever we'll spend time with other people or let each other know of our activities. Hiding it from the family, friends and partners became automatic. Eventually I broke up with my partner, It was heartbreaking but I couldn't lie to myself anymore. One day he sent me a message "I love you". I knew it was coming but it still shocked me. I couldn't answer, I replied with "Thank you". He made a confession that he had loved since we were young and was too afraid to admit it. After a few days, I finally broke and told him that I most certainly love him, more than a cousin or a friend, I love him. Until this day, I still do and spending time with him is still the best part of my day. We've been together for 8years now. It was on our 4th year together when the family found out. Relatives and other people had a lot to say of course, esp other cousins who felt disgusted, saying that we were both stupid or losing our minds. My family, esp mom was really affected by it because these people have helped us during the times we were struggling. It's our culture to please the people you owe. And for my mom, we owe them big. I know it has nothing to do with us being happy together but it's so hard to convince them so we decided to just continue with our relationship in secret. Recently we were seen together and I am asked to choose between my family or him. How can I make them understand? I don't want to choose. I can't lose anyone.
  8. I don't know how to start. This is my first time posting in public how I feel with all honesty. Glad that I found this site, knowing that we're not alone and that some people can totally understand what we're going through is comforting. I'm with an amazing person, I feel loved every day. We've been together through highs and lows. We support each other and want the best for each other. Yes, we are not perfect but we learned to forgive and love each other despite the imperfections. I want to believe that our love for each other can be perfect and stay that way for life. I want to show the whole world how amazing he is, how beautiful our love is. But of course, we can't. We were made to believe that what we have is a sin, an embarrassment for the family, a curse, stupid, disgusting and should be stopped. We were treated as cast outs, judged and called different names. Since we were young we've been in love but stayed away from each other and tried to be with other people but found our way back to each other. We couldn't hold back what we feel, ended up hiding it from everyone. Eventually, the family learned about it and we were asked to stop seeing each other. We couldn't. I was made to choose between him and my family but I can't lose my family and I can't lose him too. This may seem easy but it is not. My family is my everything but he is the love of my life. Right now, I'm leaving it all to God. I'm praying that God touch our hearts and lead us to where he wants us to be. Still, I ask myself, where do we go from here?
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