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unlucky13

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About unlucky13

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  1. Alot of stuff happend on the trip... (secret came out about us very messy) but the long and short is Looks like my story with my cousin is wrapped up for now. We both love each other more then anyone we have ever loved but she thinks if she goes down that path with me she will lose all her friends and family. Also taking the judgement from people would probably of been too much for her. i was prepared for it all and tried to tell her she wouldn't but she says she so i cant make her be. So she ended it and i cant wait around for something to be anymore. time to move on. i did love and still do love her like no other and i dont think that will ever change i just wish things could have been different. She called me last night drunk telling me she loved me and missed me etc.. but it just feels like shes trying to keep me on the hook. She said she didn't want to lose people im sure she doesn't want to lose me either but losing 1 is easier then thinking you'll lose everyone.
  2. I'm surprised after 10years in love with her and being there for her for everything you didn't make a move sooner? Was there ever a time both of you were drunk and you could feel the sexual pull at all? I started my experience with my cousin reverse and dived into the psychical part before we had the true connection part and it blew up after a month. Not really advice but I'm curious.
  3. thanks for the reply. At this point i don't see things working out with us. Yes we started physically but we spent probably more time together the next 5 weeks then most couples do in 6 months. i thought she was somebody i could really be with for the long term. I made a mistake that weekend, I acting jealous and said some immature things but for her just want to cut ties after that is a sign we definitely weren't what i thought we were. 1. She probably did but id have no proof and no point in dwelling over it. She also told me she has cheated on every boy friend shes had and even her x husband. i knew what i was getting into. thought i could change that. 2. "Lying, being demanding or controlling, being financially irresponsible, etc; these are character flaws that should not be tolerated." funny she had all these qualities and it was very unattractive. 3. I didn't mean that i was just that i could. And after we started seeing each other all that stop'd that day. either way thanks for the advice, i just dont see things getting better right now. And after all this my feelings are changing to not caring I still love her but i dont see things ever getting fixed. ill update this after our trip maybe things change
  4. Hey New Here - So before i ask for some advice i might as well explain. Little over a month ago me and my 1st cousin(lets say meg) had sex one night. It started off pretty innocent she was supposed too just come over and chill too watch movies. im 24 shes 26. Ive always admired her qualities and they were things i looked for when looking for a girl friend. what started as a movie night led too a night out which led too us both drunk back at my place. When walking back from the bar i remember holding hands and flirting pretty aggressively throughout the night. I jokingly said she was going too have to take the couch and she laughed and said no we can share your bed. she asked too shower off before bed and then came out in just a towel. long story short it we had sex shortly after that. while we were having sex she told me she loved me which i had only ever said back too one girl in my life that i dated for 5 years. my heart jumped and i said it back. after that it was kinda awkward for the next couple days we talked on and off but we had made plans for the coming weekend with her friends and mine before this happend so i figured id wait. just so happend that that night her two closest friends were into me which she didnt love haha. she was jealous the entire night even though i was only being friendly with them. again a few of us ended up back at my place including meg. once people cleared out we skipped out and went back too my room where we had the most amazing sex ive ever had and shes had (atleast she says). we were both pretty sober, too watch ourselfs around people. after that night she knew it was more then a drunken hook up and so did i. for the next 4 weeks we spent legit every night together. after 2 we started dating (not telling anybody). throughout these 4 weeks i was extremely happy most of the time and in what i feel like might of been love. i didnt like everything she did or how she acted but isnt loving somebody loving the good with the bad? she would tinder around her friends ttoo keep the illusion of being single, tell her friends she wanted too go on double dates and other things that i normally would have no tolerance for but i tried too understand with the situation. we got into a disagreement on week 5 and she left on one day. it carried into the weekend which she had agreed with her X (who she cheat on him with me) to let him take her to a show that he had bought tickets for before they broke up. it turned out she agreed too a entire day long "date" in my eyes. i went out that night and said some choices words which led too her ending it the next day. since(week now) we saw each other twice had sex one of the time which felt empty and the second we hung out and watch our old show together but no sex we kissed a little. She tells me she isnt sure how she feels anymore. and that the cons out weigh the pro's. so since (2days now) i told her i cant speak with her at all. but were going away together with a group of ppl in a week. i dont know how i feel.. i miss her and loved her. i really dont get how 3 days apart could wipe everything out that we had for 4 weeks. we talked about moving away together and the future alot. my question is.. do i just bury my feelings and let this die. in the long run it would most likely be alot easier but i feel like she might be the one. i can get with other girls and have had no problem filling that gap but the heart wants more then that and everything just feels empty. i feel like shes doing this mainly for the reason i mentioned above that telling people and the judgement might be too much for her too handle and this was the perfect excuse. anyways im not sure....
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