I have had fuzzy feelings for my cousin Red (let's say that's her name) for the longest of time. I never really have entertained the thought. My mother confronted me about it when I was young yet I denied it. I considered myself a traditionalist, but what I seem to have to come to feel for her has overridden that. Especially as of the past 3 months, I often find myself thinking how much better the current situation I'm in would be with her around. I have looked over the relationship logically, & it seems sound. I find that she's absolutely perfect. Her personality works well with mine, & that's a very big shocker. An example: I held myself from dating my own best friend for 5 years because I didn't think it would work. My cousin comes along into the picture now romantically, & I truly believe we would be great together. I mean we already do, but I'd prefer something official. Something that let's me know she really does reciprocate my same feelings.
I have been a mature individual from a very young age. I am not really fooled by common day nonsense like everyone else. When I truly love someone, that's a rare sight to see. At my current age, I still have not had my first girlfriend. That is very surprising when compared to most people of my generation. I only would imagine myself dating someone if I deem it possible that I could end up having a future with this person. With that being said, Red brings me utter joy. She's absolutely wonderful. I have not met a person yet who treats me as kindly as she does. She listens to me, she cares for me, & values my opinion. She's loving & supportive.
Red's as old as I am, & these stories are in the same range of 2014-2016. My brother & I would sleep on a bunk bed when we would visit our cousins. Him & I on the top, & my father & his wife on the bottom. When the adults were still partying however, & we were tired, Red & my other cousin Blue would go on the bottom; my brother & I on the top. Last time though, Blue, Red, & my brother were on the bottom while I remained at the top. I'm an introvert & prefer only one other person as company at the most, so I tend to shy away. Red & I always held hands when it came to the bunk beds. I'd have my hand hanging from the side of my bed, & she would reach up. We'd keep at it until one of us fell asleep. She always fell asleep first. She asked last time if I wished for some company up there, & I replied "sure". She climbed up, we talked for awhile then my father & his wife came in to reclaim the bottom bunk. My cousins were escorted out to some other sleep area.
This past Christmas was spectacular except I was ill with a cold. I mostly laid on the couch covered in blankets watching Tv. Red would come along, lift the sheets, & take her place next to mine. One of those days, we put on a movie & cuddled. We played footsie a bit in the meanwhile. At some point, she just put her leg on top of mine, & I put my other leg on top of hers. A stack of sorts. I was so relaxed; for once in my life, my anxiety wasn't acting up. She just layed back on me, & I would lay my head on top of hers while I played with her earlobe. I almost fell asleep with how soothing it was. She didn't want to go when the movie was up.
She's a very needy figure, & I adore it. She wanted a password on my phone only her & I would know. I mentioned of how I texted Blue first about their arrival & she was a little jealous. She makes claims that she's my favorite although I've never established that. She confronts me if I ignore her texts or if I stay up any later after I had already said goodnight. She also states that any special treatment is exclusively for her & her only. I'm not much of a texter, & I found the many messages she sent annoying at first, but I miss it if she doesn't. I forget I'm needy too. Red takes many photos with my phone & I mean SEVERAL. I liked a few of them of her & I. People thought she was my girlfriend. I mentioned it to her, & she simply told me to roll with the story.
I could say more, but I believe this has gone on long enough. I just need advice on this subject. Should I confront her about this? Does it seem like she does feel the same way? All I know is I would deeply regret it if I didn't know for sure.