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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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Yan X Yan

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About Yan X Yan

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  1. Cousin Couples from the Philippines let's unite here

    Hi po. Nasa ibang bansa po ba kayo ng cousin mo kayo nakapagpakasal? Tsaka 2nd or 1st cousin mo po ba yan? Nagsisimula lang po kami ng cousin ko maging seryoso, although may history kami (nakwento ko na po story ko kaya di ko alam kung pano hanapin thread na yun...). Gusto sana namin magpakasal pero as 1st cousins mukhang wala kaming option bukod sa mag-ibang bansa...
  2. Need advice...

    恋しいのうめ, thank you so much. I can't tell you how relieved i am to read that people who share the (more or less) same background can empathize with my situation. Right now, i have to agree that moving to another country is our best option. I want to legally marry her - i think she deserves that, at the very least. Children are also a concern, but I'll make sure to follow your advice with regard to having them. I want to be able to have children with her. Our biggest problem is our family, to he honest. I can only hope they will at least consider our side before judging us. They're very conservative, and I'm afraid they'll disapprove. I guess that's my biggest worry. How can we let our family know while minimizing the negative impact our relationship will surely have on them? Again, thank you for answering. I will make sure to read your story. I'll probably share it with her, too. And if anyone else can add his/her input, I'll be sure to consider it/them.
  3. Need advice...

    Hi. I'm new here. I just registered a few hours ago. Hoping to meet some friends here and get help as well as help others in a similar situation. I have to say that this site felt like a breath of fresh air, and I'm grateful this forum exists. I'm 32 years old from the Philippines. I guess one of the things I'll get asked is why I'm not yet married. To be honest, it has never really entered my mind. I mean, it has, but i never took it seriously before now. The problem is, I'm thinking of marrying my 1st cousin (my dad and her mom are siblings). She's 31. We got together when she was in college and i just started working. I admitted i felt something for her then, but stopped short of saying i love(d) her. We did everything couples do, although we made sure we acted "properly" in public. Unfortunately, she told me that she wasn't serious about our relationship. I thought it was best since i didn't know we had options back then. We lasted for a few months until i decided it was time to move on (before things got really serious). Unfortunately, after about 9-10 years (we rarely saw each other during the intervening years), we met at one of our family gatherings. We had been chatting maybe a month before then. It felt really nice to have been able to taok to her again. I asked her if we could talk in person, and we decided to do it during the coming gathering. I wanted to be friends with her so we could hang out. Basically, i wanted to spend time with her, even as just a friend. I had a girlfriend then, and when she saw my ex hug me during the event, something was triggered. I found myself chatting with her a few days after with her confessing that she ddid love me. She was just afraid because she felt what we had was wrong. It was a shock, to be honest. To make the long story short, we're back together. This time a lot more serious than before. Like most girls her age (i guess?), she's quite concerned about her biological clock. She wants marriage and children. I did some research and thankfully found this site. I need advice in what to do now. She told me that she's 100% sure she'll say yes if i propose to her. Unfortunately, I'm not sure if we can get married here in this country. Another issue is our relatives. They're very conservative, and she cares about her family and doesn't want to hurt them. We're basically stuck between a rock and her family. I don't know how i should go about this. Any help/advice/suggestions are more than welcome and will be sincerely appreciated. Please ask questions if some things aren't clear and i promise to answer them. Thank you.
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