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Justaman last won the day on February 5 2017

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  1. Justaman

    How long were you scared for?

    This is the only time I've posted a question. Normally I just vent. Which post did you comment on?
  2. Justaman

    How long were you scared for?

    Some of you have read about my cousin and me, and I feel that this whole thing scares her and that's why she doesn't want to start anything. So im wondering, if you were the scared one in the relationship, how long did you go before letting go of the fear and what helped you let go of it?
  3. I think that's whats happening with my cousin. I think she is scared. I've told her how I feel and she gives me hints of wanting more, but then when we do something a little more romantic, she closes up. How long did it take you to get over the fear? To finally let yourself go.
  4. Justaman

    An update

    MissPrice, She knows how I feel, I've never lied to her. And I know how she feels. She thinks it's weird. I told her that it's hurting too much to keep going the way I do, but at the same time, I am still always going to be there whenever she needs me. I'd rather her be happy and with someone else, than unhappy. Thank you for the advice. She isn't trying to trample over my heart, she genuinely cares for me and loves me, just not in the same way.
  5. I envy all of them too. I love my cousin. I'm actually visiting her now, I know she likes me and loves me, but thinks it's weird for us to be together. I feel like I'm dying in the inside. It hurts to breath, and I can barley eat, when I take her out I force myself, and feel sick after. It sucks, but maybe one day it'll all be ok
  6. Justaman

    An update

    So last time I posted I wrote about how much in love I was with my cousin. That hasnt changed. I feel even more in love with her now. We talk quite a bit, I call her every morning to make sure she is awake in time, which means I get less sleep, but that's ok. I love hearing her voice every morning. Every so often when we talk she says that she is finding it less and less weird, like a relationship with me. She thought it was weird after we both talked about things. I feel like she gives me hope that one day she will be fully ok with the two of us being together. Ive been to see her 2 times since my last post. I love seeing her, and she likes seeing me. I surprised her this morning by showing up early and she was so excited. We spent part of the day together and we talked quite a bit. And then it happened. She said she had been seeing a guy for a couple of weeks. I died a little on the inside. Mat that moment I felt my heart stop. I tried to not let her see what I was feeling, and I think I did a great job hiding it, but I'm dying on the inside. I don't know what to think anymore. She gives me hope for months, she enjoys spending time with me, she acts like there will be a shot and now this. I think it's time to try and stop the way I feel. I love her so much, I'm in love with her, and how can you blame me? To me she is Perfect! I love everything about her and I would do anything to make her happy. And I think this is what I have to do to make her happy. I guess it's true what they say, if you love someone, you gotta let it go. I know now how I'm gonna feel, I'm gonna be devastated. It's gonna be some sad weeks to come, but it is what it is. I just gotta be strong and not let her see how I feel. I just gotta be strong.