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About Dragan

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  1. Thanks for your replies. Hawk, I lurk a lot, and I have to say that the "if you weren't my cousin line" has never really sat right with me. I don't think there's anything wrong with entering a romantic relationship with my cousin, so the only reason I would say that is to assuage any possible fears of hers. But when I tell her my feelings, I want to convey how I truly believe, such that if she reacted "But we're cousins!" my response would simply be: "Yes, I know that already" or "so?" And, regardless of her response, it would not accurately convey her feelings to me. All experience hath taught me, that I'm almost never right in interpreting signals. I always misread innocuous gestures, and miss apparently flagrant demonstrations.
  2. It might be illegal. Check the law. If it is illegal, realize that you break the law every day of your life. It is not possible to live in a society without breaking the law. So the questions you need to ask yourself when you break the law are: 1. What is the benefit to me of breaking the law? 2. What are the risk and hazard associated with breaking the law? 3. Do the benefits of breaking the law outweigh the risk and potential drawbacks? No one can answer these questions for you but you.
  3. To begin with: we're roughly the same age, almost 24. I realized that I have had a crush on my cousin for a past few years ago. I tried to push it away at first, but it keeps coming back and I can't ignore it any longer. I've resolved to tell her ASAP, but . . . Problem is, I feel that there's no . . . magic in our relationship. Don't get me wrong, we get along absolutely splendidly, we were super close as kids (though we drifted apart as adults, but latterly I've been trying to correct that)—but I'm reading the stories of people here, and the stories of other people who eventually got with their cousins, and one thing in common is that they all were all really intimate before it became "official," such that when you shared your first kiss it just kinda felt right. With my cousin, though I like her, and she likes me, we're not intimate, we don't touch other than a hug hello or goodbye (and I don't want to start groping her when we're alone as if she were some girl I met at a party, seems a little uncouth). After a family dinner, I asked her to walk home with me so I could tell her my feelings (I didn't want to tell her in front of the family), but she said we lived in opposite directions, so she wouldn't—I feel if she were as into me as I her, she would've leaped on the opportunity. We have however promised to hang out in the near future. In terms of probing, the only thing I did was, when we were talking about classical music, a passion which she shares, I mentioned that I really liked Rachmaninov, and said I knew a lot about him: for example, he married his cousin. And she said that she thought that was a little weird—not in a "ew, gross!" way, but in a "huh, that's kinda strange," pensive way. I need to tell her, because a rejection would be preferable to all this uncertainty, but do I have a chance? Are there any other people who were in the same position, and when you told her/him, he/she said "Oh my god, I feel the same way!"
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