Sorry I took so long to reply.
I understand what you're saying and I have no intent to sound hostile, but I get the feeling you would do the same if you were in my shoes. It's literally either do this or starve on the streets. It's survival and I have no real choice. I blame myself for bringing it up and/or not going into full detail. I had no idea there would be such a fixation on this. So, I suppose I'll explain by saying that I have been looking for a job quite a lot and have sent quite literally 15-20 job applications. I haven't got a single call back and finding a job has been impossible. As of now, I do have a plan though, I am going to get a CDL and become a truck driver and compensate her for putting up with me. I am not doing this because I enjoy it and I really hate myself for doing it. I was raised to be independent and here I am depending on someone, I was in the Army for 3 years and I am by no means a coward as you imply. As I said, I really hate myself for doing this and it isn't how I imagined living my life. I assure you, I am doing everything in my power to get out of this spot and make it right to her.
That being said, back on topic, I have decided to simply repress these feelings. I have decided it isn't worth the risk and that she could probably do better than me anyway. Thanks anyway.
One last note, I did genuinely love her at one point. At one point I wanted to marry her, but 4 years together I learned that we are nothing alike and I feel we both would be happier if we found someone else more similar to ourselves. She's a liberal, I'm a moderate. I enjoy video games, she enjoys watching TV. We just have very little to nothing in common.