Ok so I need some advice and I can't talk to my family about this so I figured I'll ask you guys and gals.
To keep things brief, well sort of, I'm 24 and he's a few years older. We live 7/8 hours away from each other now, ever since last Sept. We've had a "special" relationship since we were children( flirting and basically him treating me like his gf yada yada ). Things became physical around 4/5 years ago? .... I don't say much around him when we're alone because I get waaayyyy too nervous. He always tries to lighten the mood and ask me about what's going on in my life, ya kno, small talk. So , basically this is where I am, I want to let go of him , because he has a child now. It really hurt me finding that out , especially because he didn't tell me AND we were still sleeping together. He isn't with the child's mother anymore but, me being the person I am, I guess I don't want to be in the way of the possibility of him being with her again , I mean they do have a child now for goodness sake. ( and I still haven't seen the baby yet but the rest of our family has)
I don't know how to explain the feeling or this type of relationship but, when I know I'm going to see him I get sick, nauseous as ever and my heart POUNDS. And he gets real goofy around me, ya know? smiles a lot and laughs a lot. He's been going out of his way lately to just see me and I'll either lie and say that I'm back home in SC or just won't reply. I'm so torn, I wish I could let him go completely, but something pulls me back. If you have any advice, feel free to share. ❤️
Sorry for this being all out of order, I'm trying to explain myself the best I can .