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      Get Smart on the Web   09/16/2016

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Toby Carson

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About Toby Carson

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  1. Introduction and Advice

    I completely understand. I didn't bring up the Colombia thing as an excuse or anything. Just to suggest that her family might be more accepting of a cousin relationship, as well as her dating at her current age. That's all. As for her age, I don't plan on asking her out anytime soon. I just wanted advice on how to deal with the emotions. And I meant the dating when she IS 16, not now. And even then, I want to wait until she's 18, at least. I would definitely not say she and I are exceptions to your point about technology. She is always on her phone on social media, as am I. I know that she has much mental and emotional maturing to do, which is why I want to wait a few years. But in all honesty, I have much maturing to do as well. She and I are a lot alike, which probably contributed to my feelings for her. If anything, I'm just glad to know I'm not alone in this whole cousin thing. I was beginning to think there was something seriously wrong with me. Unless you count the age gap. Then maybe there is something seriously wrong with me.
  2. Introduction and Advice

    Thank you for your feedback, everyone. I knew I'd get some sort of reaction about the age gap thing, so allow me to clarify a few points: In addition to marriage laws, I also researched age of consent laws out of morbid curiosity. K is half Colombian. Her mother, who has legal custody of her, is from Colombia, and K visits there frequently and has other family from there as well. In Colombia, from what I've read, the age of consent is 14. So to a majority of her family, she is old enough to date. On top of that, cousin marriage is a common practice there, or at the very least not nearly as taboo as in the United States. Secondly, I did find out that there is a provision in the age of consent law in our state that allows a 16 year old to have relations with someone up to the age of 23. Granted, this law is meant for sexual relations, which as I said in my post, is NOT my intention. I am stating this simply because according to our laws, I can legally date her so long as I have her parents' permission. Thirdly, I do plan to wait until she is 18, just to be on the safe side. As MissPrice said, her feelings for me might change in that time, and it would give myself time to work on becoming worthy of her love. Once everything falls into place, I will take KC's advice and "grow a pair!" Thanks again for your responses.
  3. Introduction and Advice

    Hi, everyone! I'm Toby, and I just found this site yesterday. I'm extremely glad I did, because I could really use some advice and support. But first, a bit about me. I'm 20 years old, a sophomore in college. I won't give away too much, but I will say that cousin marriage is legal in my state, which I was thrilled to find out. Also, Toby is a pen name I chose for this site for the sake of anonymity. If everything works out, I may be more open about my identity. I'm really not ashamed to be here. I found this site through extensive research on marriage laws because, lo and behold, I seem to have fallen in love with my cousin, whom we'll call K for now. I have beaten myself up over it for the past two years. K is almost constantly on my mind, and I just love everything about her. I highly doubt my feelings are reciprocated, though. We enjoy spending time together, but I don't think she feels nearly the same way. One thing I should probably mention is that we're not the same age, as most couples here seem to be. K is five years younger than me which, as you can imagine, is quite an obstacle at this time. I do NOT have sexual intentions for her, mind you. This is simply about dating and just being with her. I don't know how K or our family would react should my feelings be revealed. On the one hand, I really love her, and want to be with her more than anything. On the other hand, this is a controversial subject, and let's just say that incest has a very dark place in my family. It's literally torturing me at this point, so any advice would be eternally appreciated.
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