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cadbury

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About cadbury

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  1. cadbury

    What do you guys do to have fun

    It's hard to move on without closure! Even if he does decide to call me, I don't know how I am going to proceed lol. So much confusion.
  2. cadbury

    What do you guys do to have fun

    Nice.. it must be hard to hide feelings for ur cousin from your wife? Dual life really scare me (sorry if it offends you), I am scared to betray anyone's trust. I have stopped thinking about my future and I am ready for any thing that future holds for me (not going to push anything). I do have feelings for my cousin, I don't know if they are mutual or if we are soul mates or whatever it is. It is really confusing.
  3. Whatever my family made me do was years ago, since I can't change my past but I have expectations from them. They know I will get hurt if them bring up anything about his gf and my expectation from them is to shut up when I am around. I don't have problem with his gf but you know it's that kind of feeling 'that which was mine can't be someone else's' lol. So yeah it kind of sucks!
  4. Nevertheless, I do not feel guilty anymore. But, I have so much anger and frustration for the people I cared about the most. I don't like it when they act like they didn't do anything and everything is normal. I find it hard to fake around.
  5. Just wondering, how would you feel if your cousin marries someone else and you end up staying single? What would u really do? I feel like a failure or a loser already. It is a terrible feeling. I have to move away from everyone and adopt kids and live my life. I am unable to forgive my family and parents for forcing me to stay out of cousin relationship and after that a bad relationship.
  6. cadbury

    What do you guys do to have fun

    I do lol, but not with my cousins. I go out with friends, make random plans and when we all meet we normally talk about spooky stuff lol. Sometimes we don't plan but we just go on trip and jam in the parking lots until police come to stop us lol (No alcohols or drugs, we just play loud music nd enjoy). Normally well planned trips do not turn out as great as the random ones do.
  7. cadbury

    What do you guys do to have fun

    I wish in had something to contribute here lol..
  8. cadbury

    Need some advice

    No u turn lol. I ended things with my ex (not my cousin) almost 6 years ago because I suspected him of cheating on me, later I found out he was. It was a bad experience, didn't make any other bf since then. I feel like that experience was necessary to grow as a person. But, this cousin attraction is too strong lol. It's not like I have been thinking about my cousin for all those years. I tried reconnecting with my cousin for a brief time and when I found out he had a gf I stopped right then and there. I think now we are on an equal level lol, I had my experience and now he is having his experience of life. I don't wish bad on him, perhaps I am falling for him again.
  9. I know what you guys mean, I believe I have to let go of my expectations of him messaging me. I wish our family had accepted us happily. Regardless of our situation, they really need to change their minds and take life seriously. I don't think our next to next to next generation is even going to remember our names lol, so why so much drama for? ? Perhaps not all people are wise like me lol, they find happiness in pleasing others or in their ego.
  10. cadbury

    Need some advice

    Lol
  11. Since, my cousin has not even tried to contact me it looks like I am the only one who is manifesting things and is thinking too much about him lately. But, unlike last time I am not going to initiate contact with him, if he is also thinking of me then this time I expect him to come forward. Or maybe he is not even interested because if he was he would have dropped some kind of a hint. What if he is avoiding me and expects me to stay out of his life? I don't want to annoy him by texting him because I am unsure of his feelings. For the time being, I decided not to contact him because every time Its me. If he wants to then this time he has to come forward. Is it wise to let go or no?
  12. cadbury

    Need some advice

    I hope soon he will understand me and confide in me because I am a friend not a foe. I want to see everyone happy:), my intentions are clean.
  13. cadbury

    Need some advice

    I don't know what he wants or what he is upto. He was the one who blocked me and stopped talking to me, without giving any explanation or a proper closure. Honestly, I don't know what I want at this point. We both love our families and hurting them is not possible. I don't know maybe I just want to talk to him, it feels good to share and to know what he thinks because we won't judge each other. We understand our situation and respect our feelings. We know we have not done anything wrong, we put our families first and out feelings second. I know he is effected by my presence and he don't want to betray his gf, so he completely ignores me. Which I respect, I also ignore him because I felt disrespected by him. I do have a lot of anger built up, which I need to release. I want to tell him, what he has done wrong and what he is still doing wrong and how can he fix those, so we can get a closure at least.
  14. cadbury

    Need some advice

    Ur guess is right, feeling stuck is no good. I tried to talk to him a couple years ago but made myself look stupid, I have a strong feeling that he visit this forum on and off. Either I am good at connecting dots or I just over think. There is no point of writing him a letter or email or text, chances are that he is not going to reply. Writing posts on this forum does help me, so I am assuming he reads them. It all started when we were teenagers and now we passed our 20s. I just wonder for how long do we have to ignore each other and avoid talking? Even though many many years passed, it feels like it all happened yesterday.
  15. cadbury

    Need some advice

    Yh you are right! I just don't know what to do, I m feeling stuck. Maybe I should stop over thinking.
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